Dear Friend and Reader,
AS A PERSON of color in America,В I amВ always aware of vocal tone. Tone in how one is addressed,В theВ volume of the voice,В whether its brazen and condescending, or concerned and respectful. In a way, I’m hard-wired when it comes to deciphering what people say to me. Words can sometimes mean something absolutely different from what is actually said. Call it a survival instinct, but I’ve learned living in America that I often need to filter what people say to me, because they don’t know what they’re really saying, or meaning.
I remember having a conversation with my sister on a beach in Honolulu. We were vacationing, and my sister asked me about the geneology of the families in War of the Roses fromВ Shakespeare’s Richard II and III. As we were talking, a white woman came up to me, tapped me on the shoulder and said, in all earnestness, “You speak English so WELL”.
My sister, with a Master’s degree in education was flummoxed, and I paused, counting to five. “Well, we’re American”.
She said “Is that so? But really, what are you?”
“We’re American.” I said.
“Well yes, but what are you, really?” she asked, sweetly.
At last night’s debate, in Senator McCain’s response to a question about energy,В he pointed to his side, not even looking at Senator Obama,В saying “..do you know who voted for it? (an energy bill in 2005)…THAT one!”
Maybe he meant well. But–“that one”? That, as in not even a person. Not a person fromВ your peer group, which he is, professionally. That one. No name. No face. No identity.
Being pegged as a non-entity is nothing new for “others”. Everyone has had it happen to them–women, men, people of color, young people, old people, gay, straight. When someone calls you “that,” you’re an example, a piece of evidence, not a human being with a history, a family, deserved respect for your accomplishments. You’re an “other”, at your expense. Definitely outside the “norm”.