PW FM :: Blue Studio Series :: On Being Your Own Lover

Blue Studio on Nov. 11, 2012

In tonight’s edition of the Blue Studio Series, hosted by Planet Waves FM, my guest Cat and I take up the question of what it means to be your own lover. Cat is one of many people who has a preference for being her primary sex partner. We talk about her selfloving journey, how she feels about it and how she relates to the world around herself as her own lover.

Here is your program in the Old Player. Note, you can download a compressed file of the program on the Old Player page.

Note to readers who have written to me, wanting to participate in this conversation series: it’s been a hectic few days and I have been doing my best to stay in touch — though if I’ve lost contact with you, please write to me again at, putting the phase “Blue Studio Sessions” in the subject header. Please make your email short and to the point — enough to focus the topic you want to speak about. Thank you kindly for the amazing response.

Note, one of my favorite sex blogs just posted this piece on sharing sexual fantasies. Here is would-have-been Senator Christine O’Donnell’s anti-masturbation revival video from MTV’s Sex in the 90s.

Or just watch it below — her last line really says it all…

5 thoughts on “PW FM :: Blue Studio Series :: On Being Your Own Lover”

  1. I had planned to catch up on the Blue Studio broadcasts on my long drive over the holiday, but discovered can’t run them through my iphone. Only this one had the mp3 dl link. So I caught up with Being a Self-Lover.

    Really good topic. Was wishing for a call in show, because you are really onto something with witnessing, Eric. I have experienced masturbation witnessing with colleagues, and I have been witness for clients. The important thing about witness is that is it a total GIVE to the masturbator. It is not simultaneous masturbations (that’s great, and it’s a different practice.)

    It is witnessing a person with deep presence, no interference, and no demands, or comment, no feedback after, except gratitude and acceptance. The person masturbating is free to do what they want, and have the exact experience they want to give themselves.

    Being witnessed like this is sacred and powerful, subtle and hard to describe. Let me try…
    It really is grace. I felt it was OK to be who I am, as I am… Just as I am, as the hymn of my youth says. There is no way not to be REAL when you are masturbating just for yourself, and allowing and receiving witness affirms that in a magical way.

    To witness another in this realness is an honor, humbling, heart opening. Equally mysterious and magical. Thought receiving witness was more of a revelation for me.

    It takes a special awareness, maybe even training. It is important that the witnesser not take anything from the masturbator. They are not performing for your pleasure. You will have your feelings, you can’t turn them off, though a disciplined witness can move the feelings to his/her heart skillfully. But the energy of the witness container must stay very clean, neutral even. Taking turns in this kind of sacred witness would revolutionize a relationship, I believe. It really acknowledges that the one you love owns her or him Self.

  2. Can anyone else see the elephant in the room? (rhetorical question). There is so much suppression and denial of lust going on in that video. Everyone trying way too hard (no pun) to tell themselves otherwise. I love (pun) how dolled up the ladies are as they titillate (no pun, but a good one) the fellow(s) in that video. Looks like a sadistic tease game. Lust is lust, in marriage, out of marriage. Love is love. I can masturbate in love or masturbate in lust. Have loving sex or lustful sex. I do prefer loving sex personally because it fulfills me on a deeper level than just the physical but it has NOTHING to do with whether I am married, single, gay, straight, etc. Idealism sucks! (no pun!) : )


  3. Caught up in my week, but really enjoyed listening to this broadcast. Thank you for your offering Kat and Eric. Hope to be able to expand my response soon.

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