Today’s Oracle takes us to the Pisces weekly for April 1, 2006.
I’m sure it bothers you how many supposed vegetarians eat fish. Or, come to think of it, perhaps it doesn’t bother you a bit. No matter, as far as I am concerned, the question is, “Is fish a vegetable?” Let’s see, fish have eyes; they breathe (water, but it’s still breathing); and they swim around, unlike seaweed which just kind of hangs out. While they’re technically mammals, dolphins and whales are fish-like enough for any Pisces, and these critters actually talk to one another, bear live young, and so on. So, what do you think? A similar debate has been raging for decades about chicken. Many vegetarians are convinced that chicken is a vegetable. Well if it is, then it’s a pretty darned quick vegetable. The same holds true for turkey. To find out more about what I am getting at in this horoscope, try my phone line! Call 0900-000-0000 and we’ll give you a few more crossword clues.
Note, The Oracle is a random selection from the Eric Francis horoscope archives. Each day we publish one entry from among the 10,000 in our database. It’s a little slice of horoscope history — but chosen by our Oracle program, which always speaks to the present moment. New horoscopes are published each Friday plus twice a month in Planet Waves subscriber edition and Planet Waves Light. And for your annual reading, check out Light Bridge.
Here is the whole document. For Planet Waves a’fishy’anados, note the page design (link is below). We look different today – and that was just five short years ago. Well, almost six.
This spoof is on the Jonathan Cainer horoscope; the joke is, I’m out of town and he is standing in for me. But actually it’s me mocking out Jonathan and his writing style. In case anyone is worried that he didn’t think it was funny, he’s a Sagittarius, but more to the point he is British — they understand (and love) satire and friendly mockery. It’s impossible to write something like this unless you love someone.
http://planetwavesweekly.com/dadatemp/2072748529.html
ah, a fool from April. Well, I’ve tried to eat some pretty quick fruits in my life, so vegetables don’t get all the credit. And we all know that pizza is a vegetable and isn’t California Pizza Kitchen a vegan place?
I found out that they’ve actually got a name: pescatarians. And I’ve always wondered whether they think it’s ok to eat fish because you can’t stroke them…