Twenty-five years since Richard Berkowitz and Michael Callen coined ‘safe sex’ in their brochure “How to Have Sex in an Epidemic,” the safe gay sex message no longer seems to be working. As the culture of ‘bareback’ sex (an erotic term within the gay community describing sex without a condom) grows in popularity, recent reports from the CDC in Atlanta and the New York City Department of Health confirm that new HIV infection rates are rising dramatically in young men.
Bareback sex is desirable because it heightens physical and emotional pleasure, but for many the appeal lies in the fetish aspect — the thrill and ‘badness’ of unprotected sex in conscious defiance of the ‘safe sex’ message. Formerly considered illicit, bareback porn now features prominently in sex stores and tops gay DVD charts. As stakes for new infections have never been higher, calls for a new message addressing the reality of bareback sex are being called for.
Dr. Demetre Daskalakis is director of the Men’s Sexual Health Project, a service that provides free HIV and STD testing to patrons of Manhattan’s two remaining bathhouses, the West Side Club and the East Side Club.В Daskalakis believes that shame and fear of judgement continue to stand in the way of a frank, healthy discussion on the issue.
“I feel like the way that we push sex—gay sex in particular, and unprotected gay sex especially—into this place of badness, whether it’s pathologized because of HIV and STDs, or pathologized because of some moral majority, I think what that automatically creates is shame and the need to hide what you’re doing. I feel like shame is still a major part of what is going on in the community.”
Author, lecturer and sex educator Barbara Carrellas argues the case for a model of safe, sane, consensual, risk-aware sex in place of the safe-sex message.
“What we suppress, expresses… We may not all be able to agree on how safe we want to be collectively,” she says. “But if we can’t agree on being safe, sane and consensual with the people we are playing with, we’re in real trouble.”
From New York Press
http://www.planetwavesweekly.com/resources/words_aids_day.html
The way you get people to use these things is to explain it, plain and simple. Then you make it available. No emotional or moral charge, no politics involved, you just explain it and make the things available. I am putting together a photo shoot of a pair of male hands and then female hands putting a condom on a realistic dildo for use on Planet Waves. We have to start when kids are young with this information and it needs to be a holistic sexual health and awareness program, not merely a “avoid death.”
Once again I thank my mother, Camille Savitz, for teaching me this stuff. I have never had a pregnancy, and I know this is because I am careful and conscious in my use of pregnancy prevention and my understanding with any prospective partner.
And yes, you give out needles – on an exchange basis. We are all only a few degrees of separation away from someone who shoots heroin.
Antigone writes: “I agree that condoms are a safer way to protect ourselves. I just wouldn’t want “unprotected sex” becoming the next big stigmatized sexual practice.”
Uh, too late, babe. I tried to have a discussion with the kiddo about condoms the other night; you’d’ve thought I had offered to tie him to an anthill. Apparently, it is considered “uncool” to be caught carrying or using a condom.
Condoms on sex toys are for easier cleanup and safe sharing.
This post was submitted by Savas, who is on our editorial team. Good one. As someone who uses condoms on dildos, I am confounded.
This does not just involve gay men. Every time I meet another young woman on the pill, I know there is another young woman having unprotected sex.
We have a lot to thank for this whole situation, primarily Abstinence Only sexual indoctrination. We now have a full generation — 25 years — of young people who were brainwashed with such “information” as condoms don’t really prevent disease; they don’t prevent pregnancy; you can get pregnant from masturbating together; and so on.
Society seems to be polarizing. There seems to be one movement toward sexual truth, which has not found its voice yet. There’s just a bunch of us San Francisco-type Good Vibrations toy store freaks who believe in thorough conversations before sexual encounters who insist on doing things in a reasonable way.
And then there are people who seem to feel that their ignorance is an excuse for more ignorance; which does not mean you’re stupid. It’s about ignoring what we know. And this is plain and pure ignorance.
A lot more chickens are going to come home to roost.