I just met my cosmic twin, a young rock star.
Somewhere in the midst of Comic Confidential, a letter and a CD arrived and were left on my studio desk; I didn’t look at it till more than a month later, and I was amazed — at her personal message to me, and to the world via her music.
I started playing the CD she sent, quite a few times, listening deeper in — I prefer to listen to the same music over and over again till I become it — her magnificent vocals and compositions that sound and feel thousands of years old.
I had never heard of this band; Chelsea and Sarah (who help me run Planet Waves every day) were big fans. We corresponded a little, and then I got an email one day that said she noticed I was on the program for Poly Living 2010 and that tipped the balance — she and her girlfriend were flying from far away to be here.
We all had dinner last night then met one on one today, and talked for an hour, sharing stories about existence; and then the conversation went to the Aries Point event coming on June 8, 2010, and then — knowing she has an Aries Point chart, her chart was out and we talked about her astrology for hours. She learned a lot about her chart and the changes in her life; I learned something crucial from her: mostly from her example, and her approach to life. Her juicy, love-flushed life, devoted to music and fulfilling companionship. It’s not that she has a perfect life; by her own admission an amazing life, yet she can do something, or be something, that’s been really, really hard for me.
What we have in common is an absolute devotion to our art and to love and to existence. What we don’t have in common is that she is an example of how to create one’s life in such a way that you both live your passion and also celebrate; to draw the passion to you that you want, and to share the passion that you have to give. Some long way into our conversation, I understood, and said it out loud: this is some of the DNA that I need.
We figured out that we’re both equally open to the kind of freedom and passion that she creates; we established that our lines of work are different — we’re both creative artists; but she gets to play old songs and new songs, and I have to write a brand new one every time I go on stage. People don’t hold onto music for ‘guidance’ — mostly for inspiration and pleasure and dancing.
I feel responsible and in truth am responsible for every word written on this website. That’s different than playing a rock concert. And here she was, sitting with me at a little high cocktail table on high stools, with her charts up on my Mac, in a big empty conference room: and I got it, the information moved in a perfect circuit among she, I and her charts and the June 8 chart and — I got the message.
Embrace her as a teacher and an example of how it’s possible to be free within the work that I do, even though I don’t really know how to do it yet. She’s one of the few people to whom I’ve said the words: I’m a science fiction writer. I am ready for love and companionship and sex in my physical presence. I want to play music with people (a passion I’ve never mentioned here).
So — a mirror showed up in my universe: a passionate, gorgeous, talented, alternate-gender woman/elf, on an intense journey facing many uncertainties and some of the most awesome potential I’ve ever met in a person or a chart: who knows how to bite the plum. I’m there.
I’m here — every day I see subtle evidence of the shift, and I was looking right at proof of the change. And I know I have some decisions to make.
Eric, good luck in finding some like-minded musicians with whom to make music! I was just thinking about how much fun I’ve had playing in the various bands I’d been in since I started playing in earnest here in ’94, and how there’s been a hole in my life since all the bands imploded in ’03, except for the occasional blues gig I’ve had a couple of times a year since then (but even that seems to have dried up now). It’s hard to put and keep a band together, but boy is it fun when you can! We’d always say how tired we were when we got together for rehearsal after a long day of work, but when we started playing we were all totally energized! Have fun!
Eric, this seems like a truly blessed moment for you. The sheer physicality of making music is one of the greatest expressions of love we can give to ourselves, while potentially giving to others simultaneously. The power and beauty of it are immense. I hope that you sing; I remember thinking, while listening to one of your online videos, that the sound of your voice easily matches the richness of what you write. Please do not hold back.
–j
Dear Eric:
The more you name your passion, the more it will answer you. You manifested this new cosmic twin due to your own thoughts. The Universe just answered you.
Even though we “believe” we are ready for something, it’s only when when we are truly ready for it, will it appear. It’s not easy playing music with people. You certainly have to have command of your instrument, and that includes the voice.
Music is a conduit that is more than for pleasure, and or dancing. As you said it is inspirational, but beyond that, it can hold us up when we are ready to fall, it pushes us to do better with our choice of expression. It retrieves memories. It’s physical and mental and spiritual. Enjoy the ride!
It is awesome how happenstance may engulf one incrementally up until the threshold, then the awesome power of revelation changes everything in sight. I am certain you have earnt it. Congratulations, Eric.
I’m thrilled for you. Opportunity is knocking and it’s looking like you are opening the door.