Among the many polyamory blogs I follow is one by polyamory speaker and activist, Anita Wagner. She has common sense, a sense of humor, and a generous spirit that makes her enjoyable to read. So I often end up reading articles to which she links. One of these was particularly appropriate: a Huffington Post piece by Sierra Black on how to deal with poly at the Thanksgiving table.
For the first time ever in my life, at 51, I’m cooking a whole Thanksgiving dinner. This is huge for me, even though it’s a very small dinner. Isaac nearly always has to work on Thanksgiving; I used to work on holidays all the time; and before that, the matriarchs of either of our families would claim the honor and the hassle.
But I like to cook — I used to be a food writer — and have been doing a lot more of it in the past year or so, because I want the people I love to be healthy and I find it both creative and a way to turn my values into practical realities: local, small, homegrown, support the ones I believe in, that kind of thing. So I’m very excited to be cooking for Issac, our daughter, Chris, and two friends who, along with Isaac, will be going to work after dinner (Chris and Tobi will help clean up). I won’t have to come out to my mother or grandmother (of blessed memory), but I’m interested to read about those who will.
The Black article was a basic, coherently and evocatively written article about handling the holidays. My only quibble was that it glossed over the choice to come out during the holidays instead of screaming NEVER, NEVER, NEVER do it, but maybe that’s just me.