By Maria Padhila
“In sickness and in health.” The phrase from the traditional marriage vow is as comforting as a quilt. You say the words and sign the form, and you’ll have someone there who will hold you at your worst, the belief goes.
It’s nothing original of me to point out that marriage isn’t magic sparkle glue. Newt Gingrich and John Edwards are just famous examples of folks who step out when the staying in gets rough. There are likely many more less-public examples. As for myself, if I’m getting what I need in terms of healing or comfort, I just have one request: Please DO step out! Your sitting home isn’t doing anyone any good. I’ll feel bad if I can’t be with you, but I’ll feel a lot worse if you’re not really living and enjoying your life. That is what makes me happy. So go. Have. Fun.
The benefits of marriage as a legal and cultural institution are much on my mind, with the recent success of New York’s law allowing marriage regardless of sexual orientation. While I’m still ambivalent about said benefits, I can’t see the sense in denying access to a legal contract on the basis of sexual orientation. That’s just nonsense to me. Denying people health insurance, a say in end-of-life issues, and rights others have in raising children is too wrong to ignore, so I support gay marriage even though I’m not sure if I support marriage.
Do I think polyamorists should also get in on this marriage law thing? Do we ‘deserve’ the right to get married to more than one person? Well, it would be nice not to have to worry about losing your children, your home, your job. But I would like to have some lawyers I know and like work on the wording of that one. I’m also patient — I don’t mind if that battle isn’t fought, much less won, in my lifetime.