By Maria Padhila
The recent blog entry on dick size resulted in a lot of frank discussion, but I think we managed to skirt one important issue: Which country has the best enormous phallic symbol? My vote is above.
I started wondering when I saw a funny bit of absurdist theater broadcast from a Republican presidential candidate’s camp this week. Oh, I know, there are so many — funny bits of theater as well as Republican candidates. But this one showed the GOP’s concern with people’s relationships to national monuments. Candidate Michele Bachmann’s campaign manager pretty much said gay marriage and polyamory are like having a relationship with the Eiffel Tower. It should really be seen to be believed. In the clip, Bachmann’s Iowa campaign co-chair Tamara Scott says that indeed, with gay marriage progressing, the worst fears of the right wing are already coming to pass: people are practicing polygamy, polyamory, and getting married to the Eiffel Tower. (All this is in some way true, but my point is, so what?)
The funniest part is listening to her mispronounce “polyamory.” She gives it a cute little Dean Martin swing (heh heh): “When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that’s poly-a-moooooor-eee.”
(By the way, the pizza pizza guy, Herman Cain, can’t seem to decide whether gay marriage is okay or not. This difficulty in choosing which side to be on is ironic, because he believes being gay is a ‘choice’. Mr. Cain, I have to ask: You want a job, right?)
The Eiffel Tower tactic is an extension of the slippery slope marriage argument for which another Republican presidential candidate, Rick Santorum, won fame and which eventually led to his being immortalized in the lexicon as a sex-related term. Santorum’s often-repeated assertion is that if you let two gay people get married, pretty soon people will be getting married to dogs, cats, geese (and they mate for life, people, for life!), aunts and nieces, as well as inanimate objects.