International Herald Tribune
In a desperate effort to stem the rising tide of the Mafia, France has banned spaghetti and meatballs. The venerated dish, first brought to France by the agents of Catherine de Medici, is a favorite of wiseguys around the world. Godfathers, caporegimes, consiglieres and ordinary soldiers enjoy the dish regularly, and it’s hoped that making it unavailable will drive the powerful French Cosa Nostra from the Republic forever.
“Leave it to the French to come up with a culinary solution,” said Franklin Wasserman, an Oxford professor who specializes in the eating habits of European gangsters and the influence of food on underworld activity. “This is ingenious,” he added.
The special project, dubbed Operation Mama Mia, began March 19 at the Feast of San Giuseppe on Champs-Élysées, when INTERPOL agents seized several thousand meatballs, 16 gallons of tomato sauce, 500 boxes of spaghetti and several large pots. Just to be sure, several hundred crates of sausages, peppers and rolls were confiscated as well. Tomato sauce spilled in the streets, a grim reminder of the dark history of the Mafia in France. The festival was disrupted, but several people persisted in a feeble attempt to keep it going.
“That will get these gumba bastards where it hurts,” said Inspector Cochon Goinfre of the Paris Metropolitan Police, which is sort of cooperating with the operation. He then sat down to a dish of confit de carnard, which was swiped in retaliation by a bus boy who is visiting as an exchange student from Rome.