Let’s end the day on a high note. As I was walking out of Tristan Taormino’s talk on sexual empowerment the other night, she slipped up behind me and slid a copy of her first video into my hands. It’s called Tristan Taormino’s Expert Guide to Anal Sex. I think she guessed I would be happy to review it. I’ve just written to her and asked of we can get her chart going here on Planet Waves. I am sure it’s a very interesting chart.
The story of how she got to make this video was worth the whole trip. After writing her first book, our one-time law school applicant wrote a proposal and sent them out to mainstream porno houses, to determine if they were willing to make an educational video about anal sex for women. She learned that film proposals within the porno industry were basically nonexistent. Everyone ignored or rejected her pitch; and then finally months later, she got a phone call from a producer who was willing to do it.
This DVD reminds me that we think we know more about sex than we really do. For doing any form of anal sex you actually need a lot more information than anyone is likely to have given you. Even in schools that teach sex ed, I assure you that they don’t cover anal sex. And who has actually read the classic book Anal Pleasure and Health? But the thought of trying it occurs to just about everyone, even if they never get there. I know that a lot of people try and don’t get good results, and then give up. If you’re even vaguely curious, this video is for you. I’m sitting here watching it with a doctor who is very well versed in sexuality. It’s sexually accurate, medically over-cautious and erotically beautiful. I’m listening to a succinct summary of what it took me a couple of decades to learn summed up in an hour.
Tristan demystifies a subject that is cloaked in all kinds of obfuscation. For example, she starts with the absolutely essential point that you should never feel pain when you’re doing anal sex. Pain is a sign that something is wrong. She gives practical techniques for warming up, which is essential. She provides a comprehensive and accurate overview on lubes, for example, and makes the point that there is no such thing as too much lube.
Then you get a series of demonstrations, all of which come with an interview of both partners first. So the techniques are explained and then demonstrated repeatedly, by a variety of couples, including a girl-girl couple first. Tristan offers us sex education in the tradition that I love: factual, accurate and beautiful, so it entices you to experiment. The scenes were sex are demonstrated are authentic, humane and beautifully done.