By Sarah Taylor
Ye gads, this has been a testing tarot reading to sit down and write about today, to the point where tears came to my eyes when I first drew the three cards and laid them out in front of me. The origin of those tears lies somewhere between release and relief — and a guardedness around my heart.
For this week’s reading is beautiful beyond what I was expecting, and I have been wounded enough to give what they offer a double-take and wonder whether I want to make myself vulnerable to them in ways that I have done so before, knowing that vulnerability brooks no discrimination. When we choose to lower our defences and lay ourselves open to beauty, there is a kind of surrender in that which can take us down into the depths as well as up to the heights. When we choose love, we choose both.
Do we want to step out in faith again, Fools that we are?
And now, writing this, I remember what I wrote in an article published on this blog in May:
Isn’t the point that we connect at all? That we are prepared to have an encounter with love that cannot be conducted on our limited terms. That we meet with something that we are not able to rein in and hold to our accounting. And that when we do so, we do it fearlessly and with the acceptance that we may, indeed, fall on our arses? Hell, we might even get hurt.
And to that statement I say: So what? So what if it hurts? Maybe we need to break a few shells and shatter a few illusions – the ones that keep us trapped inside the story of our past, of our parents, of the things that we have held on to because we never thought to question whether they were ours in the first place. Here’s to fissures, cracks and ruptures in the crust of acquiescence and acceptability. [Of Love and the Eternal Triangle, May 2, 2012]
(I guess the answer for me then is, yes, I do.)
This reading invites us to open to it and to feel what it is bringing to us. If we are to do that, perhaps we can meet it halfway. Not with hope or expectation — which put limits on cards that seem to want to transcend our idea of limits — but with curiosity, discernment (two words which I have read here often of late), and a willingness to work with them actively.
The reason I add this last point is that this is a very ‘watery’ reading: Cups are ruled by the element of water, and this suggests a fluidity, like our feeling natures, that needs grounding in order to give it shape. So we seem to have a dichotomy: to surrender to an experience and yet to harness the experience, much like the two male figures of Prince and Knight, who harness the creatures on which they sit.
This is about surrendering without losing centre — giving up to the flow while remaining aware of ourselves and our surroundings. Do this, and we are better able to readjust our courses when we see an obstacle, and check ourselves when we are gripped with the desire to turn tail and swim upstream (which only works for salmon — and the bears waiting to catch them).
When I see the figures of the Prince and the Knight of Cups (bearing in mind that the Knight here is the equivalent of the King in other decks, including the Rider-Waite Smith), I see two things.
First, there is an evolution. We start with a passionate youth, transfixed by the snake (physical aspect of sexual energy) in the cup he holds, who skirts the surface of the water, but who is yet to dive in (he rides an eagle, which is not aquatic); we move to a man, his wings spawned from the peacock, a bird of transformation, who, instead of gazing into his cup, offers it to the heavens. Love in service of spirit.
Second, there is the point of transition: the Nine of Cups — Happiness. It’s as if the Prince has learned to enter the watery nature of his feelings, scooped his cup into its depths, and, as the Knight, brings something with him that can then be shared with others. In keeping with this idea is this part of the description of the Knight of Cups by Gerd Ziegler (from Tarot: Mirror of the Soul):
The pale blue wings of the spirit uplift emotional relationships to higher levels of exchange and mutual understanding. …
Seek your true family, the community in which you feel at home. There you will find the quality of communication you long for.
Some modes of therapy see the search for love as the search for ‘home’. Home is that primal place where our consciousness merges with another’s and which we spend so much of our time either trying to rediscover, or to resist as a form of annihilation (which it is), or both. That merging is an important part of our process of individual evolution, because it is in the losing of ourselves that we have the opportunity to find ourselves, and to come into contact with what it is that lies at our core that is dependent on nothing and no-one else.
And so back to the Nine of Cups, each cup replenished by a lotus; no cup dependent on another for its sustenance. Mutual interdependence through love that feeds us and feeds spirit at the same time. Damn, I can’t think of anything better than that!
If you want to experiment with tarot cards and don’t have any, we provide a free tarot spread generator using the Celtic Wings spread, which is based on the traditional Celtic Cross spread. This article explains how to use the spread.
As a novice at this vulnerability ocean I am dipping my toe into, I really needed this reminder, Alexander:
“One of the problems of staying centred is that born of the fact that many can only achieve that in relationship by remaining hyper-vigilant. There is an alternative and personally I consider this to derive from meditation practices that bolster a strong personal centre. One needs to ‘police’ one’s boundary intuitively rather thann obsessively.. no mean feat given our collective conditioning!”
Thank you and psophia and patti for your additions to this discussion. This really important discussion for some of us. +_+
“The pale blue wings of the spirit uplift emotional relationships to higher levels of exchange and mutual understanding. …”
Right away I was so drawn to the beautiful image of the Knight of Cups. Being a Cancer, and Venus currently transiting Cancer, I was drawn to the Crab being lifted up to the Sun in the cup. The picture feels like an offering, but also a devotion, or ideal to aim for and reach.
Which is all very much a part of my world’s continuing contimplation and picture today. Finding security, as you say Sarah, true ‘home’, the feeling and discovery of just how, or where this exactly fits with me.
This reading seems to connect and draw a bridge to the other excellent articles offered todayof Eric and Len as well. Sarah, thank you for offering such a descriptive examination in the continuing discussion; in communication of love.
ps
“…it is in the losing of ourselves that we have the opportunity to find ourselves, and to come into contact with what it is that lies at our core that is dependent on nothing and no-one else”
That last part has been much on my mind of late. Most of us get tripped up when we connect because what develops is this bond that becomes an emotional investment. If the other then does something which makes us feel in any way devalued we somehow take that as an objective measure of us; our confidence has then subtly shifted from being rooted in our core to coming from outside of us.. kaboom! Disaster!
It is very difficult in close to continue to take our cues of value from within rather than from the other. It almost seems as if vulnerability is inevitable if we ever relax because the data supplied to us from outside can begin to become a subtle measure of our worth. We want to let go and relax in the company of those we cherish.
One of the problems of staying centred is that born of the fact that many can only achieve that in relationship by remaining hyper-vigilant. There is an alternative and personally I consider this to derive from meditation practices that bolster a strong personal centre. One needs to ‘police’ one’s boundary intuitively rather thann obsessively.. no mean feat given our collective conditioning!
Sarah, many thanks for another timely and expert contribution to a crucial topic for people everywhere at this time. I do think we need the broadest possible context within which to ground ourselves. Relationships is one such context. My feeling is that Ecology is going to be become increasingly significant in our sense of connectivity in the future (cue Elisa Novick here) to help us move beyond the interpersonal and back into a more dispassionate love and reverence for everything. Even the life force within a fly is sacred, even if we can’t profit from it.
Much love for your continued signposting along the path..
What Burning River said, exactly. Too much serendipity for words, and rather than crying, I am just laughing. Love you, Sarah Taylor (and PW family). Ready to surf these waves with a marriage of wild abandon and focused attention. Are you with me? 😉 Have a GREAT week, all! One way or another, it promises to be rich.
Too good to be true? And I am actually standing at the brink of contemplating this very thing as events continue to spiral, dip and fly. “This is about surrendering without losing centre — giving up to the flow while remaining aware of ourselves and our surroundings.” Is it possible that all this work and waiting and determined effort to find and love myself first and foremost will pay the dividend of vulnerability with discernment and continued self care producing happiness and connection with another? I guess it is time to find out.
+_+
Thank you, Sarah. Thank you.