Editor’s Note: We’re running out of time to make jokes about President Bush. I’m just coming to realize this, and I don’t think I’ve made ample use of my time as Associate Editor to point out just how amusing he can be. In an attempt to rectify this (no pun intended), here’s an article from the Planet Waves archives, written by David Steinberg, on the day Dick Cheney was president: June 29, 2002. Access to 10 years of Planet Waves articles is available with a subscription to Planet Waves Asstrology News. –RA
What are we to make of the fact that the Fearless Leader of the Free World, a man brave enough to challenge terrorists in 80 nations to worldwide war, requires a general anesthetic for a routine colonoscopy?
As you may or may not have been aware, from 7:09 to 9:24 on the morning of Saturday, June 29, Dick Cheney was Acting President of the United States because George W. Bush had invoked the 25th Amendment to the Constitution for only the second time in history. The 25th Amendment requires that Presidential power be transferred to the Vice-President in the event that the President is incapacitated. (The one previous invocation of the 25th Amendment, also ass-related, occurred when Ronald Reagan had colon surgery.)
As with the recent partial eclipse of the sun, most Americans went about their business on June 29 completely unaware that anything unusual was occurring. Nevertheless, for something over two hours, the Vice-President and former CEO of Halliburton Company (under investigation by the SEC for irregular accounting practices) was having his nominal moment manning the tiller of the great American ship of state, while George Bush recovered from taking a general anesthetic for a minor medical procedure.
I’m no great fan of macho toughness, but I have to say that when I read about Bush being given propofol, a general anesthetic, for a routine colonoscopy, my first thought was that this guy was being, well, a total wuss about the colonoscopy thing. Or, to put it a bit more sympathetically, I imagined that the President of the United States must have some significant trove of unfinished business about his asshole if he needs to be knocked out to have a probe put up his butt — a bit of personal information, I think, that goes a long way toward explaining Bush’s somewhat tortured personality structure.