Editor’s note: The following is Part I of a three-part series on Jerry Garcia, written by Eric Francis, that was first published in Planet Waves Astrology News on Friday, July 29, 2005. It is now a part of the Planet Waves archives, a feature that is available to subscribers. Part II and III will be published at 6 pm EST on Saturday and Sunday.
I MISS JERRY GARCIA.
The Grateful Dead hold a special place in my life because it was in their presence that I first experienced happiness. I did a lot of fun things in the 22 years before I showed up at a show on July 4, 1986 at Rich Stadium in Buffalo, actually to see Bob Dylan play later in the day.
Before then, I’d had some exciting adventures, started a magazine, played politics and did a few too many drugs. There were some hot, creative girlfriends. I was well on the way to being a writer. Great rock concerts were not exactly something new; I grew up 45 minutes from Madison Square Garden.
And, emotionally, there always seemed to be some weight or sense of burden I could never get out from underneath.
It was in the presence of the Grateful Dead that I had my first experiences of pure, unmitigated joy, the kind you can’t explain. When I started going back to Dead shows soon after, this happened over and over again: the band would come out, there would be this energetic sense of a sudden upward rush, like all the weight of the world was lifting off of everyone all at once, love would flood in, and I would cry through most of the first set.
This did not solve my problems. But it’s what Hakomi therapy calls a missing experience: I was able to feel the existence of a state of being that I had no reason to believe existed before. And that’s a really good start.