By Sarah Taylor
“Be wary of any influence in your environment which dismisses or judges your enthusiasm. Without it, we would become anaesthetised to life itself. Anyone who demands this smallness of you is in danger themselves and may have contracted this insidious, deadening monotone. … Now, more than ever, the world needs your enlargement, your weirdness, your fiery crescendos of rebellion from boring.”
~ Toko-pa Turner
Houston, we have a problem. Or do we? Right now, standing out here, as you are, in a battle zone, the detritus of what has passed strewn around you, the landscape barely habitable — you’re looking to a distant star and wondering how the hell you find yourself right here, right now.
The words painted on the building below you reflect something of what might be going on inside: “Loss,” “afraid.” There is significance in their appearing together. They relate to each other. You have experienced loss, and because of this you are afraid. Afraid it might happen again, afraid of what surfaced in you — in others. Afraid of being alone, standing over the destruction, wishing on a distant star.
Have you stopped to consider a possibility? It’s just a possibility, right. But it might be one worth considering all the same:
Right here, right now might be perfect.
“But how the hell did I get here?” you ask. Things seemed to be going so well. The Three of Disks speaks to this clearly: “Effort,” “Success.” It wasn’t easy, but it felt worthwhile — like you were getting somewhere. You felt weighed down by the responsibility that comes with taking something on with no guarantee of outcome. But you were carrying incredible potential. Nothing less than that, if you consider that what rests on the gold-seamed boulder on your back is the Ace of Disks, pure potential to manifest magic in the world.
So, right here, right now, all appearances to the contrary, and having stopped to consider the possibility that everything that has happened was not a wrong turn in the road, not a misstep that led you to some godforsaken place … you might also consider this:
Maybe you’re not looking at a ‘distant star’. Maybe that star is you. You are the light that shines brightly. You are the one who brings you to this moment of silent contemplation, towards which you are focussed, for whom you yearn. From this perspective you both seem one and the same, that’s for sure. You are haloed in your own glow.
Step back out of the landscape that seems to dwarf you, and take another look — one from a wider angle. Wide enough to take in all three cards, as a matter of fact.
The Five of Swords is neighboured by the Three of Disks on the left, and the Eight of Disks on the right. That’s Three, Five, and Eight, suggesting a sequence — one defined by its chronology. If you feel like you’re in the Five, then the foundation has been the Three, and what you are moving towards as a potential is the Eight.
The Five is a skirmish. As a member of the Swords suit enclosed by Disks, it is a skirmish of mind over matter, where, at the point of the Five, the mind has gained the upper hand. The mind is a powerful thing. Look at what it’s done, for crying out loud! And keep considering that this is perfect. Who wants to exist in a mental environment that is concrete, inflexible and soul-less anyway? Where has that gold, ready to be mined in the Three, disappeared to? Where is the freeform flow of matter, that was heavy, yes, but something that felt like yours?
Lost under a structure of rigid thoughts, rules, “must haves,” that turned your individuality into solitude. Perhaps the skirmish, as ugly and full of anguish as it was, served to move something that was locking you in a concrete ivory tower?
The Eight of Disks brings this message home in stark, beautiful contrast: a living, breathing, glowing, growing, delicate, idiosyncratic, complex structure that has the ability not just to nurture you, but also others. This takes you out of your anguish and your pain — also your aloneness — and reunites you with a sense of your own light, which spreads into an altogether different kind of life.
Right here, right now, that might not make a whole lot of sense to you. Can you remember far back enough to the moment when the fire ignited in you and you stepped up to the task? Keep that in your sights, as far away as it might seem. The possibility still exists that it’s a lot closer to home than you think.
Astrology/Elemental correspondences: Three of Disks (Mars in Capricorn), Five of Swords (Venus in Aquarius), Eight of Disks (Sun in Virgo)
If you want to experiment with tarot cards and don’t have any, we provide a free tarot spread generator using the Celtic Wings spread, which is based on the traditional Celtic Cross spread. This article explains how to use the spread.
Thank-you, Sarah – a timely message for me as I deal with what feels like an almost endless variety of challenges (it’s been that kind of year), & the subsequent crashes of my confidence & self-esteem, though I know (intellectually) that the latter is not really dependent upon the former. After all, we can only work with what we have/know at any given time, & sometimes resources of all kinds are limited.
The end of the quote “…rebellion from boring” really resonated for me, as I’d been thinking that in the small, backward village where I live, the unconscious ‘program’ for retired people is to try to find something that doesn’t make waves, however boring, to stay busy at until they’re old enough to find something to die of. A sort of putting-in-time thing. This is SO not my way! I’ve rebelled lots of times in the past, some times more productively than others, but this is one that merits rebellion in spades. For me, that’s extra incentive & energy to get on with doing what I wanted to anyway. I can see I’d been affected by the energy of that negative, bored program. Your reading helps me circle back to collect some of my past dreams & feelings – strength & clarity, I hope, to go forward.
It can hurt to remember when “the fire ignited in you” – but it’s essential. I’m grateful to be reminded.
Bette
Radiant! Gorgeous! THANK YOU!
Sarah, The last three paragraphs just moved me to tears. My last three years of my life summed up in a few sentences. Wow. I loved it. What incredible timing.
Thank you, Sarah. Your reading is kind and empowering.
Thank you Sarah, I love this.
Just what I needed to hear today! Thank you Dear One!
Terrific quote, spot-on reading — you rock, girlie! Thanks and thanks!
Agree with Alex, Sarah. Brilliant writing, brilliantly written, and so close to what’s going on now for me, and I am sure, from what I’m seeing around me, others.
This is writing of the highest order. Thank you for all your labours, Sarah! <3
The message is like an arrow to the heart of my situation. I've seen your process percolate and just to gives thanks now to the cosmos for your patient journey of discovery.. and for YOU!