Dear Friend and Reader,
It’s never a good sign if someone throws their shoes at you. In the world of theatre, rotten vegetables are as bad as it gets. In the world of war in the Middle East, it’s shoes. Yesterday, an Iraqi journalist threw his shoes at President Bush.
Newsday reports that in Arabic and Islamic culture,В “throwing a shoe is quite disrespectful.” Habeeb Ahmed, president of the Islamic Center ofВ Long Island explained,В “it is quite a bit of an insult.”
The New York Post explains: “throwing shoes at someone, or showing the soles of one’s shoes, is a supreme insult in Arab culture. After Saddam Hussein’s statue was toppled in Baghdad in April 2003, members of the crowd beat its face with their soles.”
Muntadar al-Zeidi, an Iraqi journalist, showed the world what he thought of President Bush’s performance when he chucked his shoes at our oh-so-beloved leader during a press conference in Baghdad. Bushie ducked — he’s probably been practicing for this moment quite a while.В “I’m pretty good at ducking, as most of you know,” Bush joked with The Associated Press, adding quickly that “I’m talking about ducking your questions.”
The most important part of this scene al-Zeidi orchestrated is what he yelled before the shoe toss (size 10, Bush joked later). APВ documents al Zeidi growling,В В “This is a farewell kiss, you dog!” The New York Post adds that, before al Zeidi threw the second shoe, he said, “This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.”
This quote has not been confirmed by any other news sources, but it’s a powerful statement. I know it’s cruel to say, but, in the midst of dealing with my own life, my job, my family, I forget about the casualties of the Iraq war sometimes. But our country is responsible, through the bombing of Baghdad and the rest of the country, for orphaning children, for killing civilians that had nothing to do with Saddam Hussein’s regime, or the Weapons of Mass Destruction or Sept. 11. I try to imagine the rage that would rise up within me if I were a victim of occupation, if I’d lost my father to those Blackwater soldiers or bombing.
A shoe hardly seems like enough.
Yours & truly,
Rachel Asher
Gardener,
I’ll have to agree. I know guys in their 40’s like me who are fully on the train and completely open about how things need to work in the workplace. I also know some in the same age group who have a real hard time with change, and they are the last holdouts it seems. Those who are younger know how it works from day one, and don’t have any problems with it.
There is a difference though: I’ve taught high school age males who were very behind the times, and the main issue there is where and how they grew up: rural circumstances seem to be limiting those who live there. Sometimes their attitudes were further back in time than they realized, as I heard attitudes that reminded me of the 1950’s, not the 2000’s.
Better education is the answer, I’d say.
Brendan,
The younger guys, I’ll say 30s, didn’t mind at all and expected to compete with everyone. The goal for any development processes should always be to benefit the bottom line – the best qualified applicant is always supposed to be selected for a position, and it benefits the company if everyone is skilled and ready to step up to the plate.
I always noticed the difference with the younger girls too, like they expected the opportunities and never considered the possibility of being turned away.
Even though job prospects are not so great right now, I suspect how we live and work will change during the next 15 years. I’d reckon that this year’s high school and college grads will be revolutionaries of one kind or another – business/home/environment/taxation/public service/health.
G –
I think it depends on the situation and/or company. I’ve worked in fairly conservative companies in the past, and the situation you describe is typical of what they were like.
I would say that not all white men in my experience (I’m one of them) are like that. There are many feel that way but don’t say anything at all, and there are those that joke about it and stew underneath.
Then there are those who’ve changed or never adopted the mindset, and they are younger for the most part. I tend to think it’s all generational, and that with time the hardcore disappointed will mellow and realize the folly of their ways.
I worked in Diversity the last 3 years I was employed, retiring 2 years ago. It was the older white men who always displayed/voiced anger and resentment over not being the right color or sex to be promoted. The data in my company didn’t support their concerns, since the white female was the most under-represented of all the groups. My company had around 13,000 employees at the time, in various locations in the state. One of my jobs was to encourage self-development for promotion opportunities, and I worked 24-7 providing classes and developmental training for “Off-the-clock” employees. The goal was to fill vacant positions from within.
Some of the white males said they didn’t think there was any need to apply because they weren’t black or female. I wondered if men feel this way across the board or if it was just at my company. There was quite a lot of apathy among all groups of the men, but the women were fired up, gung-ho, and in hot pursuit.
Thank you both for helping to define what was meant by using “compensation” here. I knew the classical meaning of course, but this was not a classical use.
At this point in time I have only the one truly close emotional relationship, and that is happening here in the cyberverse, as the distance is great. Compensation for us is equal: we cheer each other up, keeping the faith as it were, and are there to support the other unconditionally. We leave it at that, because neither of us is able to do much more. There are other factors involved that may keep it from ever changing beyond this stage, I won’t go into them right now. Sustaining an emotional balance this way has been both challenging and strengthening, and I am the better for it.
As for how to deal with the toll, I must admit that is a quandary. I think that raising the next generation(s) to be more emotionally up to the task is important, and it seems like the last few years we’ve seen a lot of backsliding of attitudes actually. For the sake of our community/societal mental health we’ve got to change how we deal with it. Bring up the man-child as best you can, and have him see the truth of the matter for himself, and he will probably exceed your expectations. The teenage years are bad enough, so he may have some rocky times while passing through, but if he’s anything like his mother he’ll be okay. ;))
As for your last question, yes, my choices have expanded, but that is also the path I have taken, apart from society around me. We’ve all seen some pitches backwards in the last 8 years, and they’ve been fairly substantial ones at that. Getting it all to go forward and upward won’t be easy or simple, but it needs to be done.
With all the astrological happenings of late, the national, nay world’s, need for change, I feel like now is the time to redefine many things, and this is a huge part of it. We must balance ourselves and the earth.
Hey Gardener, Brendan, et alia…
I guess by ‘compensation’ I was trying to condense several ideas into one word: Gardener has part of it, and I was also aiming for that transitional space where women expect some restitution for the second-class, politically powerless, 61-cent-on-the-dollar condition we find ourselves struggling within. Some of us do seek a certain kind of exceptionalism within our close relationships, and semi-consciously expect our lovers/husbands/partners to offset the gender discredit, to acknowledge and support privately what goes missing publicly.
I am just starting to really consider the toll of this expectation on our men. Having a boychild moving toward adolescence has me watching this carefully, what I say, how I say it and how this expectation plays through us. It is different with husbands/lovers of course, but the resistance from All Good Boyo shows me things my menfolk can(or will)not.
So, is this enough of a definition, Brendan? Have your choices expanded with the balancing of the gender scales, or is the damn thing still pitching and rolling?
Compensation – as in the woman wanting to make her own money, or woman taking over as the primary breadwinner. Some men resent it – usually the older fellows.
I have held that role for many years now. My husband is a sensitive Sagitarrius who has been quite disabled for about 14 years. You have to take care of those who are placed in your path.
mystes –
To add to the pain: my grandfather didn’t originally want to run the store either. His older brothers were allowed to go off and do what they liked, one an artist, the other a variety of work, while he, the youngest, was slotted into the retail trade.
He wanted to be a forest ranger actually, the outdoors and nature called to him strongly. As it were, his parents would have had none of that (1920’s), as it would have been socially unacceptable to take such a lowly occupation. Their role in society was very important to them, and so image meant nearly everything, even if it meant being other than what you wished.
SO, it’s been multi-generational. The demise of the store allowed us to not go into retailing, so it was a blessing in reality.
Yes, the women in my life do help me to hear the Wish, and one in particular has helped me to go farther than ever before. She has taught me to see deep within and know that what is there is good. As we live far apart, we are limited to this style of connection, but we have used it to forge a great love and respect for each other.
On the family side, my 3 sisters have all gone their own way, single or married. I have 8 ex-brother-in-laws, which may be testimony of a sort to not getting in their way. My mother for many years after the store’s closure was the primary breadwinner, so I saw role reversal early on, with my dad doing the house husband thing before it was called such.
I don’t know about ‘compensation’ in any of my relationships. I’ll have admit to naivete and ask you to define it; I may not know that what is occurring is just that.
Brendan writes: “I think he sighed greatly and went off to be a businessman, which he never really seemed to like. He always sought to encourage we children to do what we wanted, but also to love what we did most importantly. It’s taken us a while to realize that, but we six kids are trying…”
Interesting paradox: to do what you want as a way of honoring the Paternal wish. How ’bout that – Kronos doesn’t eat *all* of His children.
But the Wish itself, do your women help you hear it? Have you spoken it so that it works with your lovers? or is their necessity for compensation drowning it out? How does that seem to work with the gathering of political and economic power by women? Any thoughts?
Mystes – neat question. My father wound up running the family department store until it went out of business some 36 years ago. He, as the oldest son, had had his life pre-ordained into doing that: college for business, then management. After the store closed he went into doing environmental consulting of a specialized nature for the next 20+ years. It was a bit too specialized, as work was not steady and he wouldn’t leave our hometown easily, but he did make a name for himself in the field with careful, steady work.
What my father really wanted to do was become a naval architect, designing ships and watercraft, even so far as wanting to go into the navy to do so. However, a basketball injury in high school (with no therapy or treatment – it was the 40’s) left him with permanent issues that precluded navy service. Not to mention strong myopia. Those two disqualifications did keep him from ever being drafted, and Korea was the war then.
I think he sighed greatly and went off to be a businessman, which he never really seemed to like. He always sought to encourage we children to do what we wanted, but also to love what we did most importantly. It’s taken us a while to realize that, but we six kids are trying…
Gardener – No, I’d certainly never stone anyone, female or male, for using a cell phone. I’ve never hit anyone past the sixth grade when I had my only fight in school. So, the fist is not something I like to use, ever.
Erratum: the separate sense of sense in front of Providence.
sense of self
sense of self
I was apparently in a rhyming mood: sense/providence… vaya…
Hi Tachi,
I lumped them because I was thinking about the ‘taking,’ the possession and what that entails at the level of the ego, the separate sense of sense in front of Providence.
You’re right, of course, to parse them, but hunters and farmers are usually the same person now. Gatherers could be something else, but they’ve been subsumed into farmers.
My question was addressing how or if men felt themselves to be more fortunate after the dispensations of feminism – which hasn’t had any significant impact (yet!) on the normalcy of those throwbacks. And yeah, I have a rhetoric in there, but I’m trying to keep it on a tight leash.
Thanks for combing those out. Important to remember the differences..
Gardener writes :: “The men HAVE to feel a lot more free to be themselves now than they did in the 50s and 60s, at least in the USA.”
Let’s ask them: Hey guys! do you feel that you have more choices –options that you actually *want*– than your dads did? How can you know this? Are you close enough to your fathers to know what they wanted, what they had and whether they suspected that something else was possible?
Really… I’m askin’…
***
Our problem as a species is that we just don’t live long enough. Clues begin to slide under the door around 45, by 65 or 70 the lights come on; then all you have is a decade to really do something with the insight. This is a scam, I tell you. Somebody’s got to be able to interface with the mitochondria and see if we can get the ATP cycle to rev up another 30 years.
***
A good bit of our moral coding was created during hunter/gatherer /pastoral/agricultural models of periodic scarcity, but we all realize –despite the image of ‘recession’ being circulated to keep the sheeple in stun-mode– that the Industrial Rev has meant the development of absurd levels of abundance. This pretty much wipes out the founding conditions of our emotional parsimony. I’m going to keep looking for how we can develop ‘moeurs’ based less on human property, and more on that affinity I am thinking of as ‘internal paramour.’
Yes I sort of mixed up two situations that I was thinking about – one is of men who can no longer have sex because of a physical problem. The ones I am closely associated with seem to have exponential creative abilities, but that is just my personal observation and not the result of a study.
I was just blurting about the silly cat. Prowling is a natural for animals and people too- sort of like the pan you reference now and then.
The other is the confinement of men in other ways – like to marriage and responsibility and a nagging wife and so on – ie, no freedom at all and the only thing created is babies and a lot of debt.
The men HAVE to feel a lot more free to be themselves now than they did in the 50s and 60s, at least in the USA.
Gardener (whom I adore, btw) writes: “But it is when they lose their prowling abilities, and learn to accept that status, that their creativity goes out of this world. That is my observation of men who are confined, in one way or the other, and confinement can be defined in many ways. Confinement to the 17th century is one – especially for the Islamic men. The true liberation will be for those men, when the walls tumble.”
Maybe. But basically, I don’t much agree. Remember Abelard? He didn’t just destroy himself as a man and a philosopher (having himself castrated for God), but also Heloise. He completely misunderstood what kind of energy she was manifesting, all because he chose the ‘confinement’ over experience. This, in my view, is the male version of a decision to abdicate life, to ‘assume the position’ because balancing, struggling, opening to true power is too much trouble.
And here’s the real irony: Abelard is hardly remembered as a philosopher (he was neither original nor deep), but he *is* remembered as Heloise’s failed lover.
Oh well. “Take Two,” as they say in the Talkies.
***
This isn’t to say that humans don’t seek out and need boundaries through which to define their creativity. But I don’t think ‘prowling’ –as you say– is a misdemeanor, on any level. It does get complicated when it is internally and externally condemned, and becomes a furtive activity. Then it gathers up an odd tang.
But is still no less part of the most profound creative process.
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As for their ‘needing to be seen.’ I’ll have to think about that. My gaze glides across them, like a Liquid Gold on a fine piece of wood. It soaks in just enough to make them glow.
I is like when the cat drags in a dead mouse so you can admire his skill and prowess. Men still have a strutting show off mentality that requires attention day and night. A-hem.
But it is when they lose their prowling abilities, and learn to accept that status, that their creativity goes out of this world. That is my observation of men who are confined, in one way or the other, and confinement can be defined in many ways. Confinement to the 17th century is one – especially for the Islamic men. The true liberation will be for those men, when the walls tumble.
When I entered the workforce in 1970, the men did everything they could to get us to quit. Their lives changed, but it was for the better. It took them awhile to realize it. Look how much pressure men were always under to be strong and be good providers! Life is good in the USA in 2008. Thank you Betty Frieden! We used to read her books and talk about them while we worked – what a blast!
Hey Brendan: “Some of us are willing to change on our own you know, so please let us know when we’re doing something right!”
By ‘practice’ I mean watch until I understand what I am seeing. Quit my yappin’ a little, and just *look* until I see who/what is over there, with all of those decorative dongles and furs and angles. And teeth.
Mostly I’m into agreeing with a particularly male energy that goes bitter and dark if not umm… what? “appreciated” is the easy word for it. That’s a little too intellectual, but close.
Rahmana’s on the right track with her Three Centaurs article. Brava!
Hey Brendan, as long as you aren’t stoning your girls and women to death for using a cell phone to talk to boys/men, you are on the right track.
Some of us are willing to change on our own you know, so please let us know when we’re doing something right!
In my life (nearly 50), I’ve seen the gender roles change so much that at times I have not known where I want to be, especially when not many around me were even aware that there were changes going on.
I like to think that I’ve certainly changed for the better in the last few years, and being here has helped me to realize that it is the path and the way for me.
My thanks to my fellow PW citizens…
Practice Forest! Practice! You can do it!
Gardener writes: “No woman in her right mind would want to be a muslim in the middle east, or even Africa. That’s a religion that is over-due for a big wake up and overhaul.”
Oh sweetheart, you DO underestimate the terrors presented by freedom, how much simpler it is to be the Sub. To have an entire culture devoted to keeping the wimmens in the bottom position, well, its persistence is based in real convenience.
And as I watch our men struggle with what it is to *feel* their own power outside of the pressure and feedback of dominance – it’s clear that this is another terror for them as well, feeding and complementing the Will to Weakness manifested by Muslim (and not a few Western) women.
We have such amazing karmic stores of shame/guilt built up around the issues of power –when it is used in its gratuitous violence/destruction mode– its a wonder that anyone tries to untangle the whole mess.
One key I keep seeing has to do with agreeing with a different manifestation of men’s primal maleness. The playful, dark, weird, roaring, slightly cruel and ingenious adorability of men.
I practice on my son, I practice on the Five (well, 4 plus the MIA), I practice on the half-husband. Results are still coming in, but there’s promise…
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Bush and Condoleeza have already said they regret that the WMD information was not accurate. Have a bad feeling about all of it, but also think we’ve pushed a few backward countries into the 20th century. That should have happened when Aghganistan defeated Russia, but it didn’t. The taliban were just as brutal, if not worse.
No woman in her right mind would want to be a muslim in the middle east, or even Africa. That’s a religion that is over-due for a big wake up and overhaul.
I love the shoe. I would do more if I had the oppurtunity. Mr.Bush needs to learn more. He will in understanding, welcome to pluto in Cap. He won’t necessarily grasp the concept that is but, he will feel it. He will feel the reality of an altering nation scapegoating his desisions, he knows he fucked up. We will plant the force of reality. Mr. Bush can’t but realize his cover-flow is done. Do we exist it and play?!? Let’s have a good time, and fuck with the shit, why not.
Fuck it all!!!! That’s my bag, and I’ll.stick to it!!!
Your bastard J
Iraq: Protest in favour of release of Bush ‘shoe-thrower’
Sadr City, 15 Dec. (AKI) – Thousands of Iraqis on Monday demanded the release of Muntazer al-Zaydi, the journalist who threw his shoes at US President George W. Bush. The protests took place in the Shia Baghdad neighbourhood of Sadr City and the demonstrators marched towards the headquarters of the Iraqi press syndicate, in al-Waziriya, said Iraqi news agency Voices of Iraq.
The protesters, who were reportedly made up of followers of radical Shia cleric Moqtada al-Sadr, also burned American flags.
Meanwhile, a statement calling for the release of al-Zaydi was issued by the Cairo-based satellite news channel al-Boghdadiya, where the journalist has worked since the 2003 US invasion of Iraq.
“Al-Boghdadiya channel calls for the immediate release of its correspondent al-Zaydi in line with the new era of democracy and freedom of expression the US authorities had promised the Iraqis,” said a media release from the channel quoted by Voices of Iraq.
On Sunday, al-Zaydi threw his first shoe at Bush as he yelled “This is a gift from the Iraqis. This is the farewell kiss, you dog,”
As he threw his second shoe, he said: “This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq.” As Bush avoided the shoes, al-Zaydi was quickly wrestled to the ground by security guards.
Al-Zaydi was being held on Monday by Iraqi police and was reportedly interrogated about whether he was paid to throw his shoes at Bush. He was also being tested for alcohol and drug use.
In the Arab world, throwing your shoes or exposing the soles of your shoes is one of the worst signs of disrespect.
In a separate incident in the Iraqi city of Najaf, protesters threw their shoes at an American patrol as it passed by.
My mind keeps drifting to the tour we took of Imelda Marcos’ winter palace in Northern Luzon the New Year of 2004. The Philippine Government kept the bulk of her shoes in a gigantic shoe armoire for public viewing.
Alot of them were high heels and high lexan platforms.
All fitting projectiles for the target at hand.
Maybe that should be the new American protest symbol: shoes tossed in a pile in front of the (Bush) White House, or wherever he ends up living. It should be a constant reminder of what he’s done. I’d donate a pair or two…
He IS funny Tqachikata…I can’t help but laugh at him dodging those shoes. But Fe is funnier. I mean. . .”launched by shoulder harnessed grenade launcher. Why wouldn’t I laugh! Comedians could do a whole act with what they can read/steal on this and other sites. Yes, I know none of us find it really very funny at all. I think we (or at least I) laugh to prevent me from getting hysterical. I’m as angry as anyone else about what we have done to innocent lives, but not brave enough to throw anything. I don’t have the unbearable pain of losing a loved one (because of Bush) either. Perhaps that is what it takes to reach that anger level.
About the hague, they wouldn’t shoe him to death, would he?
Shoe should have had cement in it, launched by shoulder harnessed grenade launcher.
He’s lucky it was only a shoe…
………..aaand the phone tapping begins……:-)
V… “And the lame ducker’s response is what?”
Waaaaait for it, honey… I will put good pecan pies (what passes for money in my world) on the chance that W apologizes –for damn near everything– before the end of ’10.
It will be in the Hague, of course. But it’s a comin’…
M
I think there was more than sufficient provocation to throw a couple of shoes.
Muntadar said it like no non Iraqi war protester could. Hopefully the rest of the world was listening as he brought it on home.
And the lame ducker’s response is what?
http://ca.youtube.com/watch?v=HWt3-kPBQ4A