I just stepped downstairs to get some chili at Dominick’s Cafe, and when I got there I noticed that the place was loaded with people, lighting technicians, cameramen, sound techs and production assistants. Every table was filled with “natural looking Americans.” They were shooting a campaign ad.
Naturally I went back to my studio and got a camera, mainly to get some “natural looking” headshots of the democratic candidate for congress — Julian Schreibman. He’s running to fill 10-term U.S. Rep. Maurice Hinchey’s seat.
In getting my camera, I had nothing sinister on my mind, such as documenting what bullshit campaign ads are. In reality, I had the same idea as the director — get a good looking image of the guy. (That’s why I only had a long lens; if I wanted to show the context, a wide-angle lens would have been the one.) I got in one shot in when I was told to stop. Since I was standing in my friend’s restaurant during business hours photographing a public figure, I asked why.
They tried to say that the owner objected, which didn’t work; he’s one of my closest friends, and I’m the family photographer.
They then produced the campaign manager, who offered to talk to me outside. I explained the whole public figure in a public place thing, but basically he said too bad; no photos.
“This isn’t China,” I said.
“No, it’s not China,” he replied.
At that point I had a couple of options, one of which was to push the situation, which could have involved a conversation with the police, though there’s no way charges would have been filed because it’s not their restaurant, and Dominick was not going to prosecute me for trespassing. Besides, they didn’t want the cops in the middle of their movie.
Then the campaign manager asked me politely not to take photos. I could accept their offer of an interview and photo session with the candidate. That seemed the more prudent way to go. We left everything on voluntary terms.
So I just watched from behind the counter, eating my chili and (just once) being asked to pipe down. Then Dominick appeared. I asked if they were renting the place and he said no — he had donated it.
“They said this wasn’t going to interfere with business,” he said. They bought all the “average American citizens” lunch for $339 (economy-priced dinner for four in Manhattan) and complained that the cookies were too expensive. That particular complaint is the way to annoy Dominick the very most. His sister Gina personally bakes those cookies.
The script was a scene wherein Schreibman was casually talking to his future constituents about how rotten things are in Washington, and telling a guy equipped with crutches that it wasn’t right to cut Medicaid. It occurred to me why they didn’t want still photos of this production. Then I imagined all the political ads being shot all over the country creating the same illusion.
Then I noticed this guy in the straw hat. I nearly started laughing. I guess his role was to let people know we’re in upstate New York. I asked a production assistant if the stylist had put him in that hat; she told me she thought he was a “real customer.” Later, he said they had invited him to be in the commercial. All we needed to complete the experience was to have the cast break out in a rousing chorus of Green Acres.
“Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside!” That’s what I say every day.
I’ll let you know how my interview goes, and in fact, I plan to post it here.
I know all the words to the song! Still, after all these years. If only I could remember those 3 items I went to the grocery store without writing them down….
Hey Judith,
you give me a cue to tell this: a couple of days ago I went to the swimming pool. It’s a quite big place, open air, where I used to go when I was a child. It’s called ‘Milan beach’.
Well, after some time of people and kids observation I realized that the majority were Chinese. Then there was a percentage of south-American, some north-Africans. And some Italians.
Ah, and some Chinese (men) were wearing underwear under the swimming suit.
More like Joel. Clearly, not like me or Dominick…we were not invited :-))
Then they had a room full of kids, waiting, who were not used in the lil movie.
I know all those people — some of them still live in the Pea Patch. Remember Peter Greeder, the Meter Reader? And Mr. Haney? What a hoot! And, as an aside … it’s looking more like China every day. We’re gonna have to GET to that, eventually.
What does a “natural looking American” look like?
Well, Astrodem, I sense a little Washington sweat coming out from your pores right about now. I have retyped this response several times over now, deleting, editing what I want to say.
I could wait until the morning, but I am not.
Respect. How about that? Respect. What we say about another person, is what we really could be thinking about ourselves. We are, after all, One.
Sometimes I think we haven’t a clue as to how we treat one another. geeeeze. man, oh man.
On your choice of using Green Acres, Eric, I had to laugh of having so many fun memories watching this show as a kid. All the characters were over the top and poked fun at THEMSELVES. That is what made it a real hoot. At least that is how I remembered it. That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Everyone is trying to sell something. Everyone.
Yeah, I was calling Eric a witch doctor. Jokingly of course. The entire “woooooo, howdy” line is meant to be expressed with over-the-top exuberance.
Thank you Astrodem!!!!!
witch docta = Eric, this is a little obscure… docta = doctor?
Hot diggity, astrodem! (Great, astrodem).
Well, it loses something in the translation, but I’ll give it a shot just for you.
Wooooooooooooo, howdy, witch docta! = Hi Eric!
That there feller = That guy in the photo
is Puttin’ on the Ritz. = is dressed in his Sunday best. (sarcastic)
I’ll be a hornswaggler for a gooseberry = You’ve got to be kidding me!
if that ain’t the darndest lookin’ gettup = That’s the most over-the-top outfit
I never did seen. = ever.
Hey, Astrodem:
can you translate, for us non-native-speakers?
Thanks! 😉
Wooooooooooooo, howdy, witch docta! That there feller is Puttin’ on the Ritz. I’ll be a hornswaggler for a gooseberry if that ain’t the darndest lookin’ gettup I never did seen.
LOL
Ha! “Keep Manhattan, just give me that countryside!” . Loved that video too.
hilarious! and omg — that man’s face in the hat!!!!! too much for words.
i nearly fell off my chair at the “cookies are too expensive” comment. i’ve heard dominick’s rant on that one. oh lord, did they ever pick the wrong cookie to bitch about.
Eric: Thank you for giving us this glimpse of the reality behind political fantasy, Congratulations on how you dealt with the bully so adroitly. Looking forward to the interview. Best regards to Dominick.