Today’s photo was taken Monday at about noon in Rosendale, New York, where our community laid to rest a young woman who died of a heroin overdose last week. Not that I assume a lot of heroin junkies read Planet Waves, but if you hear of anyone getting hold of some “really good stuff” called Parmesan, or just simply cheese, it’s a killer. Not that ordinary heroin is good for you or anything.
Kaila’s story so far is told in three parts in Book of Blue. Note that they are posted in reverse chron order. The first is called “It’s Not Hard to Die.” The second is “The Faces of Kaila Watson” and the third is “How These Things Happen.”
This news arrived late Friday night. Among other things, since the year began I’ve photographed a memorial service, a funeral and a child being born. In the process of having many 8thВ house transits (I have Aquarius up there) I’ve begun to associate these moments with the theme of getting real.
I have cast her birth and death charts. Personally I think that death charts are among the strangest entities in astrology. The summary version is that Kaila was late Taurus rising (with Jupiter in the last degree of Taurus tight against the ascendant, in the 1st), with a Cancer Sun and Libra Moon. She has an intense 8th house — precise conjunction of Saturn and Uranus conjunct the Galactic Core; this is a one-degree alignment and Pluto just spent two years working it over. Those were the heroin years.
Please hold her in the light. Thank you.
Hey Eric ,
Having been a Heroin addict myself I’m acquainted with the madness of all that being addicted to it entails…
For me Heroin as well as other drugs seemed to be able to drown out the deep sense of shame that I felt about all that was ME. This sense of shame started at the age of 7 years old. It came from many areas of my life and I’m sad to say from very accepted forms of interactions within our society that are not given a second thought but none the less are very toxic to ones very soul.. This is especially true for those of us can’t deny what they know to be true because we can ” feel it ” as well see it so clearly. To speak of such things isn’t met with validation and between the cold dismissals and paradoxical gentle persuations of “Lets pretend thats not what really is ” made me feel as if I were crazy for many years ..
I have Neptune exactly conjunct my ascending in Scorpio with Pluto, Uranus and Mercury conjunct in my 10th house which also contains my Sun in Virgo.. I can’t help but see on many levels .. I haven’t ever been good at pretending. I used heroin to tolerate this place where I found myself and it kicked my ass and brought me to my knees 10 years ago was the last time I imbibed.
Eric I also have Saturn at a anaretic degree in aquarius but in the 4th house..
Sara McLachlan wrote a song for which I identify with for the many I have lost and for which I very easily could have been…
In The Arms of an Angel
Spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For the break that will make it ok
There’s always some reason to feel “not good enough”.
And it’s hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh beautiful release
Memories seep from my veins
They may be empty and weightless, and maybe
I’ll find some peace tonight
In the arms of an Angel, fly away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
You’re in the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here
So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There’s vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don’t make no difference, escaping one last time
It’s easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of an Angel, far away from here
From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie
In the arms of an Angel; may you find some comfort here.
L.
Dear Eric and friends of Kaila,
Sending lots of love and deep sympathies for the loss of Kaila. I’ve been truly touched by your beautiful tribute to her, in words and photos, over the past few days. And equally inspired by her reminder– your reminder– to get real, and to the best of our abilities, to stay there. Thank you.
C
Tragic. Heart-wrenching for the family and her friends to say good bye for now to a life so young. I wish them all peace here on Earth and to Kaila on the other side.