By Fe Bongolan
Please forgive me.
This is yet another article on Sarah Palin — the almost but not quite full term governor of Alaska who is now in pursuit of the Presidency in 2012 through an almost but not quite campaign. Alaska’s former half-term governor has been eyeing the 2012 Republican nomination for the Presidency long before it needed to be filled. After a few gaffes out on the non-campaign campaign trail and a one-season reality series covering Palin family life in Alaska on the Discovery Channel, Mrs. Palin has re-invented herself yet again.
Sarah began campaigning on Saturday by launching her “One Nation” tour — a gambit she refers to as a “family vacation”, wherein members of the Palin family are to engage in a summer-long meet and greet with members of the American public along the eastern seaboard, making a left turn towards Iowa — the first primary state in the presidential sweepstakes — sometime later in the summer. Think of it as an extended family road trip, but instead of an Airstream trailer, its a fully-equipped passenger bus with the Constitution’s Bill of Rights painted on it. She therefore began her campaign while, as Eric appropriately wrote in his daily astrology report for last weekend, “three planets were aligned in what is called a T-square, which is behind much of the mischief and turmoil of the world right now. And in our current stretch of time, the Moon sweeps through that T-square, knocking all three of those planets like cue ball on a pool table, stirring up all kinds of deep feelings, past and present fears, insecurities and so on.”
She made her first non-campaign presence known at the Rolling Thunder review – the primary fundraising event for the non-profit organization of the same name whose mission is to locate American military still missing in action or who are prisoners of war. True to character, Mrs. Palin’s “mavericky” appearance created enough pressure on the event’s security budget that they may not have made the fundraising goals they had planned. But hey, it’s Sarah!
She is helped by the current enthusiasm gap induced by the tepid spate of potential Republican candidates which include: a former U.S. Speaker of the House of Representatives and serial adulterer (Newt Gingrich); “the rent is too damn high” candidate for governor of New York (Jimmy McMillan); and a former Alabama Supreme Court Justice who had a monument of the Ten Commandments built into the foyer of Alabama’s Supreme Court building (Roy Moore). Also included in that list, supported mostly by the Club for Growth, the US Chamber of Commerce, the oil, energy, banking, insurance and pharmaceutical industries are former Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty, former Governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney, and former US Senator Rick Santorum, whose last name has been forever enshrined as the colloquialism for the physical remnants of a gay male sexual encounter.
As a political blogger, trying to avoid writing about Sarah Palin is like an ex-smoker at an outdoor cafe where smoking is still allowed. You inhale the second-hand smoke as it wafts towards your nose for the vicarious experience. It’s toxic. You know its bad for you. But fuck it. You know you want to. Its too delicious not to get some. Just. One. More. Puff. Please. And to most political journalists with little to write about with that bland Republican field, and who are hungry for the red meat that she brings to headlines and Twitter feeds, Sarah Palin = crack. There is just as much, if not more excitement speculating about her presidential campaign as there is about her actually running. And the excitement is not just political. Check this section from an op-ed by Michael Sean Winters from the National Catholic Reporter:
[It is not just that she is a physically beautiful woman, although she is that too. It is that she knows how to treat a camera like a human being, how to caress it, how to engage it, how to own it. There is something slightly creepy about watching a person do this in person: Their eyes dart to and fro, their head moves forward and back, and then you realize they are speaking into a machine. I always thought the Al Gore’s complete inability to treat a camera like a person spoke well of his character even while it crippled his career. Palin, like Clinton and Reagan, can engage a camera like no one else.]
After her last run as candidate for Vice-President in 2008, Sarah knows alot more about how you need sex to sell yourself for the big brass ring of November 2012. Even just the potential of Mrs. Palin’s candidacy has a “rock-star” cache amongst conservatives and the Tea Party base, who, after their 2010 midterm victories may be down in Congress right now, but not out. Begrudgingly, Karl Rove and the Club for Growth — the other faction of what appears to be a rift in the Republican Party between the Tea Party and big money conservatives, may have to accede to Sarah’s power either as a candidate or the shepherdess of the Tea Party base to seriously take on President Obama in 2012 — particularly after the capture and killing of Usama Bin-Laden under his watch.
With Sarah looming on the political horizon, there is something of a perverse twist on Wagner’s “Ring Cycle” going on. To recap, Wagner’s epic four-part opera tells the tale of the quest for the Ring of the Nibelung — the ring of power giving one the ability to rule the world. In the quest for the ring, which kills villains and heroes who sacrifice spiritual and sensual love in order to attain it, it is love in the form of the Valkyrie Brunhilde who returns the ring to the Rhinemaidens and away from the hands of gods and mortals. It was Brunhilde’s hero and lover Siegfried who died because of the ring, and Brunhilde’s grief and remorse for his loss which compelled her to bring it back to its source. Once the ring was returned, it instigated the process of destroying Valhalla, the realm of the gods.
Could a Palin candidacy destroy the Republican Party or strengthen it? Her sexuality and sensuality is a high-value political commodity and will be used to her advantage and the advantage of her handlers — whoever they turn out to be. And she knows it. This is not about love. Its about buying and leveraging votes and money. This non-committal political campaign may, at the moment, be looking for just the right buyer to fuel her ambitions and theirs. Aside from making sure she is first in the spotlight, this Venus in Aries girl knows exactly what it takes to turn the tables of political conversation from polite disagreement to all-out Gotterdammerung and the news media takes this kind of red meat all the way to the bank.
Whoever her handlers may be will probably need a back-up forty-seater passenger bus to follow her “One Nation” tour. With her mouth, that bus better be full of fire extinguishers.
Embarassing, Sadge? YES. “Get’s my goat” Brendan? YES!!! I am truly afraid of and sickened by the thought that The Primp and The Frump are going to be together in our faces for a very long time (it will seem, no matter how short PLEEZ God it is) down this road for us. Immigration is really looking good to me. Bolivia, Sadge? Until then, I’m Organizing for Americia while I can
re: Ailes, “”I only understand friendship or scorched earth,” ha!!! sorry, that’s funny!!
I have a sneaky suspicion he doesn’t understand friendship either, maybe he meant something more like ‘loyalty’. wow. (did you read about his sad childhood…turned into power trip?hm-poor thing, it’s just crystal clear, isn’t it?)
that whole article underscores the sad but true fact of television, and that is
it is Entertainment!! therein lies the problem when trying to *really* educate or change or inform, everyone is so jacked up on the entertainment value, they use THAT to inform their decisions re: this country. unbelievable to me. but people do.
remember, Dub was the cool guy you could have a beer with out on the porch…
it’s embarrassing. frankly. but I guess if the ‘news’ outlets want audience, that’s what they gotta do….all this merging of entertainment, ‘reality TV’ shows, celebrity obsession (stay on the Best Dressed list, a Must!), and yes, politics! all together now. all of those things now affect how people will vote. to be a candidate, you must partake in these rites of passage. they are the new rites. oh Law schools be damned.
it’s about your tour bus muthaaaaa..
incredible. Italian citizenship?
thanks Fe.
peace.
It is so nice to be among sane friends. Thanks for the birth info, Brendan. Kat
GaryB:
Welcome and 😉 !!!
Good Morning Fe,
I think it is time to call her by her true name — Parah Salin!!!
Yeah, I agree, Fe. The new bio sounds indulgent to the point of vapid which her Faithful will lap up like mother’s milk. They love her because they think she’s just a regular gal, that she “sounds like them,” which is frightening all by itself. Her Hillbilly from Wasilla act puts a bright face on her shark-like tendencies.
FOX Machiavelli, Roger Ailes, evidently thinks she’s 1] an idiot and 2] isn’t running. Down the road Sarah may just be ‘maverick-y’ enough to spit in his eye, but at this point, FOX is the only news outlet to have her itinerary (which means every other outlet has to follow her around to find out what she’s up to — f’ing BRILLIANT!)
If you all haven’t taken time to read the recent Rolling Stone piece on Roger Ailes, do: he who mentored Limbaugh and Beck, promotes Palin as a cash cow and should be awarded a lifetime jail cell for being a clear and present danger to the nation. Chilling. http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/how-roger-ailes-built-the-fox-news-fear-factory-20110525?print=true
Given the presidential field the Pubs have to select from, I suppose a carnival side-show is the best they can do. But Palin’s become a grotesque for me, at this point — I second your response, Kat — and the publics ogling reminds me of the fascination with Anna Nicole and long before, Jayne Mansfield. If she runs, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert will have a field day.
Here is the article segment with link embedded on the SP film, scheduled for release this month:
Conservative filmmaker Stephen K. Bannon put up $1 million in financing for the two-hour film, which is said to promote her as a presidential candidate. Sarah Palin will the subject of a feature film to be released next month, the conservative filmmaker behind it, Stephen K. Bannon, tells Real Clear Politics.
The site reveals that Palin asked her close aide Rebecca Mansour to reach out to Bannon about creating a series of videos last November — shortly after Republicans swept elections, and Palin was credited with helping. Palin hoped the videos would answer questions about her decision to step down as governor and protect her legacy — clearing the way for a potential 2012 presidential campaign.
Bannon, however, decided to take the project one step further. He’d create a feature film on Palin, and put up the $1 million in financing himself.
Judith, Brendan:
What makes me believe that she will run is:
1) she plans to present a new biographical film on her life and her political career and beliefs;
2) she is going to Iowa
I think she is Fox’s baby to place. And they will make sure she stays on TV as her pulpit. Its a win-win for them and her, until she finally commits to the run.
The Palin is on the TV right now with the Donald — a pair to draw to. Her MILF cred gets her the attention she needs to fill the family coffers, which seems her primary intent.
Michelle Bachmann has gotten the go-ahead from Gawd to run and she’s a bit defensive about Sister Sarah; sez they are not “interchangeable.” And that’s true. Michelle is a sincere wing nut; Sarah is just a carnie in politicians clothing (oxymoron, I know.) It would be interesting to see how much of a challenge they could mount if they both looked like Madeleine Albright.
Brendan, I envy you a hot, dry moment or two on the valley floor and a long moment becoming one with the vistas that reach across the horizon. I miss S. Az from time to time, especially when the humidity and heat typical of mid-July have already settled in here in the Pea Patch. But NOOOOOO, there’s no global warming!!
Thanks for the wrap-up, Fe. I suspect we’ll hear much more from the Palin as she optimizes EVERY opportunity to steal some (Rolling) Thunder.
Brendan:
Reince Prebius, chair of the RNC looks alot like those wet-behind-the-ears Yale grads the Rove Republicans hired during Bush 2 to head up key agencies like the FDA and the DMS (Division of Mine Safety) to fuck-up the federal government’s key safety regulations and make life pretty for their corporate contributors. At $225k a year for your first job in the government, you will pretty much do anything to keep your corporate masters happy.
Reince’s job is to collect up $$ connections, promise them the moon and collect the millions necessary to arm their election treasury. Did I add that he has to be able to keep his preppy mouth shut?
YAY Fe! Once again, another delightful political treatise has come forth from the fingers of one of Berzerkely’s finest!
Palin just gets my goat, every time. The media too, since they seem to think she actually has something to say or contribute to the American political scene. She has proven to be a disaster for Alaska, and no one there wants her at all (she couldn’t get elected to any office up there now).
I agree with Eric, sex is her one selling point, but that is truly getting old, since most of her assets are no longer natural anyway. I simply find her old, intellectually shallow (HA!), and worthy only of scorn. Fake tits and no brain are not attractive to me. What attracts me most to a woman is the strength of her intellect and reasoning, especially if she is beholden to no mean-spirited philosophy of life (so yes, many PW women are attractive to me, while Ann Coulter and Laura Ingraham are most definitely not).
For being an Aquarian, she is remarkably backward and reactionary. I encourage her to run, by all means, we’d need to make popcorn by the truckload to see what happens over the course of the few months she was actually running for office. And to lose her Fox salary, perish the thought! She’s all about the M-O-N-E-Y, and that would kill her income to run for office.
I don’t think she’ll responsible for the Republican Party breakup, they seem to be doing that very well all on their own. When was the last time Reince Prebius was heard from? As the erstwhile leader of the party, he’s so incognito most people don’t even realize he is who he say he is. There seems to be no coherent message from the Repubs other than “money is good, the rich are good, and the nation be damned” which means that in their eyes, the rest of us don’t even exist. The Teabaggers are just the icing on the cake, slobbering away like a starving, mad pit bull – that is only eight inches high. Mind over matter, and since there isn’t much mind, there isn’t much body.
Long day here: just finished moving my earthly possessions out into the valley, onto my brothers’ little ranch, ten miles outside of Bisbee.
Kat – SP’s birthday is 2/11/1964. Don’t know what time, but then the Palin/Heath clan has apparently been rather sloppy about actually registering births on the correct day or time. She may even have been born in Creston, British Columbia, and not northern Idaho as everyone has claimed up until a few months ago. Let’s ask her for her “long form” birth certificate! 😉
KatLyons, I too laughed at your imagery…poor halibut, poor us!
Funny you mention dreaming of a passport from another country. The day after the second W coronation, I researched whether I qualified for Italian citizenship. The idea came from fellow coworkers who were sporting black armbands and reddened eyes (really! This was at an environmental non-profit.). I found out that I *do* qualify.
All these years — and several process misunderstandings — later, last week I had my appointment at my local Italian consulate. I requested the appointment in August 2009, a nearly 2-year wait because there was such a backlog of applicants. Apparently, lots of other folks around here had the same idea.
Anyhoo, I submitted my paperwork to a very congenial young consular official, who actually cracked a joke. He looked at my birth certificate and said, “I’m sorry to inform you…” [here I nearly stopped breathing – what could be wrong with my documents after so many years of gathering them??] “…that, because your state does not issue long form birth certificates, you’ll never become president.”
It took me a few beats to register this, and he began to explain. I smiled and nodded, and then solemnly said, “This saddens me considerably.” He shook his head and replied, “That whole conversation saddened me.” I was surprised; never expected to hear a joke, let alone a commentary.
As for Ms. Palin herself, Eric has been saying it over and over. It all boils down to sex.
kat and Len:
Well, to apologize or not — Mrs. Palin is so easy a target its almost like shooting halibut in a barrel.
But one cannot help one’s self. Especially when she keeps coming back like mildew or soap scum, or those ants you thought you killed with the last $25 worth of ant traps you bought to get rid of the nest. I wish I knew what it would take to keep Draculatrix from rising yet again from the grave.
By the way, Fe, I agree with Len – no apologies necessary. I, too, would rather hear it from you!! I saw the Anderson Cooper report regarding her bus trip this morning- it was what got me started – that and Mars transiting my Mercury! Kat
Kat Lyons:
I’m sorry to take enjoyment at your expense, but your halibut comment had me choking so hard with laughter I nearly pee’d myself.
OK everybody – get it all out. Sarah is coming. Sharpen your pencils!!
Len:
No one can mention the word “santorum” without full deference to Dan Savage, whose wordsmithing helped kill Santorum’s second run in 2006. Oh, how we counted the days and hours until Santorum’s departure. The collective IQ of the Senate rose to that of village idiot level, up from its former position of someone stricken with a coma.
Hi Fe – I hope you will forgive me for venting a bit, but……I used to go screaming from the room anytime W’s face showed up on the screen, and I would dream of a Canadian passport. When Obama got elected, it felt like emerging from a very long, dark tunnel into the light. And now, oh cruel joke, Palin has shown up again – a surreal jolt that has a momentary paralyzing effect. You know, how a halibut must feel when being clubbed to death on an Alaskan dock. And, if I imagine her representing our country as POTUS, the prospect of suicide begins to have some appeal, and THEN I go screaming from the room. Even Canada is too close for a Palin presidency.
No news in this rant, I’m sure – but, thanks for listening.
Has her chart or birth data been previously published anywhere on PW? Do you have it handy? Kat
Fe,
No need to apologize, this is a wonderful read. i would rather hear about Sarah Palin from you than anyone else. Thank you, also, for being the first political writer that i know of to out the irony of the Santorum surname. That took some guts. Fortunately the force of courage has always been strong with you, young Jedi.