Dear Friend and Reader,
2008 WAS a year full ofВ “interesting,” as the Chinese say. We’ve watched an under-known US Senator with a terrorist’s nameВ become the nation’s 44th President. We’ve watched our economy and the markets around the world go fromВ pothole to giant sinkhole. We were awed byВ the opening of the Summer Olympics in Beijing, usheringВ in what will be the new world era of ChinaВ in dominance. And after months of silence, we’ve finally heard from Dick Cheney after his party’s loss in this year’s general election. He made a brief appearance from his warren below ground,В calmly reassuring usВ that we as a proud nation still need to be terrified.
Aside from these high-profile players, countries and eventsВ entering into and out of our consciousness, where the heck did everyone else go?В In Planet Waves’ inimitable fashion,В here’s our own version of “Page Six”В to slake the thirst ofВ dry-mouthed newsaholics,В filling in the blanks for sufferers of Attention Deficit Disorder, and generally providing you more news than what you get out of CNBC–and that’s not a high bar to jump. Here we go:
Sarah Palin and Bristol Palin: It could be thatВ Governor Sarah Palin’s hope may be realized that one day, sheВ could retire from her gene pool expansion activities and let her daughter carry on the tradition of overpopulating Alaska with more Palins. Through a series of rituals performed by African priests and portents dug from the entrails of birds, it has been confirmed that Sarah Palin’s first grandchildВ will be a boy. The boy’s mother, Bristol Palin is scheduled to deliver on the 20th of December. Bristol and herВ betrothed Levi Johnston, father of the child,В are consideringВ these possibilities for baby names: Puck, Mandate, Shotgun,В Unsustainable andВ Extremist. In other news, it was reported today that the new baby’sВ paternal grandmother-to-be was arrested for possession of drugs by Alaska State Troopers. Another day in the lifeВ of the great state of Alaska.В
Fidel Castro: Cuban President Fidel Castro continues to exist as a corporal being despite urgent prayers uttered at Washington DC power breakfasts since 1962. He was last seen meeting heads of state, even while in frail health, and continuing to make policy for Cuba. Much to ourВ government’s chagrin,В Castro remains America’s living lesson in why you shouldВ never piss off a Leo with a Mars in Taurus and Scorpio rising.
Ted Stevens: Former AK Senator Ted Stevens, indicted and convicted of seven charges of filing false financial statements to the US Senate, will have to find a new venue of generating income other than law. His license to practice law in Washington has been suspended by the Bar forВ the District of Columbia. It seems as though the Bar Associations of DC and Alaska, which recently filed to disbar Stevens, get it better than Stevens himself that a conviction on charges ofВ lying to CongressВ has its consequences.
Blogo, Blago, Blogwitz aka Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich: Despite the proceedings taking place in Illinois, the state’s Supreme Court ruled on the basic American judicial principle of innocent until proven guilty and decidedВ they would not place themselves in the position of declaring Governor Rod Blagojevich “unfit” to serve. It is anticipated that Governor Blagojevich willВ say something incriminatingВ and just plain dumb anyway, which will probably be caught by one ofВ US Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald’s listening devices before 2008 ends.
AIG, Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch: Hey, whatever happened to those guys? You know, the ones who built profits based on pure speculation? A judge ruled to approve a $115 million dollar settlement against former executives of AIG. This judgement is a victory for AIG shareholders. Lehman Brothers, which filed the nation’s largest Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection case, is working to save the company’s pension plan, 95% of which is funded by the company and the remainder to be funded partially by you and me to the tune of $18 million dollars through the US Pension Benefit Guaranty Corp. (PBGC). Merrill Lynch executive Bob Wigley,В one ofВ the company’s most senior bankersВ in Europe plans to depart. After the company’s collapseВ and sale to its rival Bank of AmericaВ in the September Wall Street financialВ meltdown (there were more in October and November), Merrill Lynch’s terse statement on the departure read: “(Mr. Wigley) would leave the firm to focus on the next stage of his career outside our organization, following a brief hand-over period.” In other words, Merrill Lynch told Wigley in a nice polite way to pound sand.
The Auto Industry: In a brief moment of lucidity andВ disregarding partisan rancor, the Bush White House agreedВ to a settlement bolstering the country’s ailing auto industry through a $17.4 billion dollar bailout loan. The decision came after Congressional Republicans, predominately from the South, engaged in a no-holds-barred battle in Congress, reminiscent of the Civil War. Republicans tried to block Congress’ original plan to bailoutВ northern US automakers, while foreign-based automakers built new plants in southern states paying much less for labor and feigning amnesia over the existence of the United Auto Workers union. Looks like for today at least, the north won.
The Burger King: This omnivore is speechless that theВ symbol of hormone-laden beef and beef by-product was given a new sexier appeal to revitalize sales of the fading Whopper. Not to be outdone by healthier food choices driven in partВ by rising statistics of early-onset diabetes, heart diseaseВ and morbid obesity in Americans, Burger King’s makeover brought us a more studly liege of the burger, who appeared in your rear view mirror, your office and your bedroom, reminding us that we need that greasy piece of meat between two soft pieces of soft nutrition-free white bread. This comely version of The King is now reaching new heights in mass marketing appeal, as Burger King Inc. announced a just-in-time-for-the-holidays editionВ of an “Eau de Burger King” cologne, which makes the user smell like freshly charbroiled meat.
I wish I was makingВ at least half of this stuff up.В A fewВ more days to go before we party like its 2009…
Yours & truly,
Fe Bongolan from San Francisco
another quote from the above source:
No wonder, then, that so few among the Palestinian refugees themselves blamed their collapse and dispersal on the Jews. During a fact-finding mission to Gaza in June 1949, Sir John Troutbeck, head of the British Middle East office in Cairo and no friend to Israel or the Jews, was surprised to discover that while the refugees
express no bitterness against the Jews (or for that matter against the Americans or ourselves) they speak with the utmost bitterness of the Egyptians and other Arab states. “We know who our enemies are,” they will say, and they are referring to their Arab brothers who, they declare, persuaded them unnecessarily to leave their homes. . . . I even heard it said that many of the refugees would give a welcome to the Israelis if they were to come in and take the district over.
In fact, most of the local palestinians wanted nothing to do with the war, since they lived well with the Jewish population. Their standard of living was increased greatly when the Jews began migrating back to Israel in the 1920s. The same could not be said of the arab standard of living in the areas controlled by the British.
Here is a good source for the jewish point of view, with documentation.
http://www.commentarymagazine.com/viewarticle.cfm/1948–israel–and-the-palestinians-br–the-true-story-11355
Much can be blamed on the Arab leadership, for the plight of the palestinians who were displaced.
“The Israelis begged the original palestinians not to leave in 1948”
???
The Palestinians want the international law-recognized ‘right of return’ to where they where kicked out of, the places they still have the deeds to, the places they still have keys to. They’ve been living in refugee camps for 60 years, since they were kicked out (under threat of death), and no is letting them back in, in fact Israel is expanding their settlements into more and more Palestinian land, a flagrant violation of international law.
I’m not sure this is consistent with begging them not to leave
No missiles here, or rockets.
The Israelis begged the original palestinians not to leave in 1948. I have always been an Israeli sympathizer.
When we truly learn to love, we’ll no longer be bodies? Wouldn’t that be the perfect time for sex and then we have no bodies? What will that be like.
And this mideast rabid dog thing is an itch in my crawl. I don’t know enough of the history to make any kind of sense of it, like whose more unreasonable than who.
The armageddan thing always bothers me. My bible thumpin friends salivate as they eagerly look to world events to make the prophecies true. It’s as if they choose to play out the script set forth for us to make the bible true. And then they win. They were right.
I wonder if the Koran and Kaballah (sp?) prophesize an armageddan as well. When I was 21 I headed out from the midwest on a bus with a dufflebag of leotards and dance shoes for the west coast. Along the line in the dark of the night I ended up sitting next to a very dark skinned man in a respectable navy poly suit with a brief case on his lap. He pulled out a book and started talking about the moon and stars symbol and how Mohammed promised the Muslims they would rule the world. Now after a couple of years in Madison my young brain had heard all sorts of stuff so it was just another character to me at the time. But I wonder if domination is taught in all religions. Like maybe it comes from making the higher power we seek , be in the form of an all powerful person.
The christ teachings seem based in rebellion and love, (and how about the metaphysics that dude was into?) but then again, the christ doesn’t get quoted much. It’s always about the old testament.
“If I did that to my neighbor . . . ” Now Gardener, please don’t tell me you have missiles in your yard ready to launch. I’d have to say you’ve gone too far.
I don’t know. My eye doctor said I was dyslexic and my grandson is autistic with asberger syndrome. Maybe everyone is a little ADD.
I wish the palestinians would have stayed in Israel when the Israeli state was born. They need to love each other. The Jewish people wanted a home and wanted to be loved. Being the object of so much hatred is bound to change who the persons really are. The palestinians have rejected every effort of the jewish people to make peace. I believe I heard today that they had sent no fewer than 6,000 missiles into Israel. Think of that. Why such hatred? If I did that to my neighbor, the SWAT team would kill the hell out of me.
I think it is in our nature to want to kill imperfect people. We do it all the time, but we are subtle about it. You know what safety managers always say? “There is no such thing as an accident.” People kill themselves all the time, or maim themselves. We all want to be loved, but the human race is not very loving. When we truly learn to love, we’ll no longer be bodies.
So we got a day or two till the next release and I’m out here so I went to look at the grim reaper Cheney article. The scariest thing was the tag under his photo which says “view larger image”.
Per the waterboarding, I wish I had higher speed on this here machine (goal for new year) so I could forward the video on waterboarding. It’s out there. I saw it on Grit TV.
I think Fe’s summary of Cheney’s vomit “we as a proud nation still need to be terrified” is a very loaded and powerful phrase. My brain goes to universal mode on this one.
We talk global this and global that but the troops are all lined up at the borders we have drawn between us. This takes me to a state of weird duality.
I experienced one shining star yesterday. Turned on NPR and the native mideast reporter did not talk about the war machine’s maneuvers but what the civilians were experiencing. To NPR’s credit, they put a human face on it.
I don’t know what other animals in the animal kingdom, kill their own and why. As members of the animal kingdom, perhaps our evolution as human beings is to evolve beyond this fear that makes us kill one another. Or is it our submission to the war profiteers so we can get some of the dollars too? And are we bound for a survival of the fittest free for all?
And speaking of evolution, what about ADD and our most recent births into autism? Evolutionary biologists have written that with autism certain genes that have not mated with each other in a very long time are coming together after eons. These children need simple foods. They are fascinated with things that go in circular motion: a throw back to cyclical times? They do not get the patriarchal structure as they are coming from matriarchal understandings. And the most frustrating to parents, they do not respond emotionally (I could use a dose of that).
Years ago, when I read statistics that over 30% of children in schools were on speed for ADD, I had to ask the question is it the children being born or is it our system. A year ago, I took sociology 101 at a tech college with people less than half my age. When I mentioned ADD, the whole class in unison said we are all ADD. How refreshing. So when we medicate and train them into submission to our social norms are we really doing the right thing?
So those of us who are clumsy and stumble through the physical world . . . do we irritate you at times? I don’t know about the rest of the stumble bums, but people who have command of their physical environment always amaze me. There is something very zen about it.
And at this time in our evolutionary shift, it is very grounding.
haha – yer onto me.
I am old and have lived through a lot. I worked in a parts room for 2 years (1979/80) and learned a LOT about vehicles and diesel engines. I didn’t have a car and had to sit and wait for 2 hours a day for my ride, so I entertained myself by reading “Fleet Management”. You never know you will end up putting information to use in your life. Later on during my life as a career counselor, I helped a woman get a job as a Fleet Manager even though she had no direct experience. She had plenty of experience with safety/osha and managing workers and equipment, and when it came right down to it, that is what any good fleet manager needs to know how to do – and how to read and follow instructions. She was a great manager.
V asks: “Gardener, are you master of the physical universe? You never cease to amaze me. I know, I know, it just comes so naturally easy for you.”
Good question – rhetorical though it be. The answer: Pert near, from where I soak. Sumpin’ about those midwestern yoginis.
Gardener, are you master of the physical universe? You never cease to amaze me. I know, I know, it just comes so naturally easy for you.
Fe, I hope you can excuse my slowness. I consider your question about history coming at us fast . . . and I am so base as to be trying to open a historic bottle of tamari to toast punkin seeds.
I do see personal histories coming home to bite us in the butt (that’s only one side: there’s good stuff, too). And I never thought I would burn red white and blue forever, especially with the bastardization of patriotism by the homeland security group. And I have heard that Abe is having his 200th birthday soon.
But I feel you have more light to shed on this? Could you develop that idea further or has it already been written here in PW and I missed it?
victoria:
Thanks for the memory jog about Code Pink. I know we covered it in the last two months here on the blog.
Isn’t it amazing that history is coming at us so fast that our capacity to keep it strung together is getting a major workout?
Synthetic oil makes the engines last longer in today’s cars, and the parts are much more precise now than in the past. Cars don’t rust out either.
Most people did not have the service done on cars during the 60s and 70s – or if they did, they probably screwed something up trying to do it themselves – and dumped the oil behind the garage too. Today there are lube joints everywhere and coupons in every paper and flier – so there is no excuse I can think of for burning up a motor or transmission. The real oil would burn (scorch) up a lot faster, where today you could realistically get by without an oil change for 5,000 to 6,000 miles without causing too much harm.
Gardener, do you remember the cars of the 60s and early 70s, and how they only ran to about 100,000 miles. Was there a change that happened somewhere after that, that caused cars to last longer? Or did maintenance change? Or was it because I drove ford galaxie 500s? (My friend says ford is Fix Or Repair Daily. I really have not experienced that with the more recent fords I have driven. The Escorts have been extremely tough and I have seen them run to 300,000 miles.)
Fe, I forgot the best one. It had to be on Free Speech TV. It was so great that I can’t be sure I really saw it. Cheney and some other suits were on a proscenium(?) stage somewhere about something, and a code pinker scaled the stairs to the stage with handcuffs and told Cheney she was making a citizen’s arrest on him for treason. Of course, she was removed by some men in less expensive dark suits. But I do believe I saw it.
But yeah, the election, kinduv said it all in a big way. And not just here, but around the world. Every obama jump shot the media airs, makes the current regime appear more withered to me. It’s not so much obama but the force that joined together for something else. I don’t believe in a savior, but I do believe in us, however we morph.
Actually, I drove my last Buick for 10 years and had 250,000 miles on it when I gave it away. It is still being driven 7 years later by a young family with children so I’m sure it is pushing 500,000 miles now – and is not sitting in the dump with all the cheap little foreign cars. It was a big safe car for a family and could get through the snow – I called it my sleigh! My current Buick is 7 years old and I don’t plan to get rid of it anytime soon. It would be interesting to see the statistics on vehicles in the city dumps. Maybe that info already exists, but I never looked for it. I would be very upset if GM stopped making vehicles.
Maybe GM should take over computer manufacturing and help get computers out of the city dumps too. They would probably come up with a reliable service station where components could be exchanged and updated, cleaned or refurbished. When you walk into BestBuy with a computer, you usually walk out with a new computer and hard telling where the components were made – probably by slave labor in India or China.
victoria:
I hope our main expression of dissent this year was the election.
There probably was dissent going on out there, but not covered by the news. Or maybe it was suppressed. We still are under the old regime.
Gardener, “I love big cars.” How unpopular of you. You make me laugh. And thanks for another excuse not to mow my lawn.
And out of all this nonsense and corruption errupting, we are gaining strength to stand up? My memory is shorter on this year but I see the shoe thrower, the window workers sit in, and bin laden’s son saying lay off the terrrorism dad, I can’t find assylum anywhere. There must be more.
bk:
You’re spot on about the meat-scented meat. There’s a shitload of hormones and other chemistry in the cattle from the fertilizers used in growing the grain to feed them.
Gardener:
Last time I was in an American car was when I was touring the Philippines in a Black Ford Escalade, the Hummer of SUV Cadillacs. Must say it was a smooth ride, especially those bullet-proof tinted black windows. Very helpful during election season in the developing world, when rival gangs express their political opinions with gunfire.
I’m hoping the autoworkers will take over ownership of the Big 3 – maybe one of many 2009 takeovers. watch how fast the new hire pay scales trend downward when it happens.
I like big American cars. No, I love them. Besides, lawnmowers and weedeaters put out twice as much carbon as American automobiles, and they are not EPA regulated at all.
If there isn’t (a name), there will be one soon enough, and how do we know if our burgers aren’t being sprayed with this cologne? What DO they put in those things?
bk: It still worries me that there’s a meat-scented cologne out there.
Its an unnameable fear, based on the decline of Western Civilization as we know it. Maybe there’s a name for the phobia.
I KNEW this would be funny! Thanks for sharing .. . .we might NEVER know if not for your determination and good memory.
fc:
Absolutely correct. He does not have a terrorist’s name, because the article was written with an armload of snark.
I wish however that someone did not think up Eau de Burger King, which is sadly true.
xxoo,
fe
He doesn’t have a ‘terrorist’s name’ — wasn’t that the point?