By Sarah Taylor
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.” [John 15:1]
In November 2011, a Weekend Tarot Reading felt significant enough for me to focus on it for two weeks running. In that case, it was a reading that featured one of the most transformational cards — where the transformation is often precipitated by an event that shakes us to the very core — namely, The Tower.
This week, I want to do the same thing again and have a look at last weekend’s reading, only this time the sense of transformation is one that is centred on feelings — here, love — although its impact may be no less felt and no less far-reaching.
To do this, I have added a fourth card as a way of contextualising last week’s reading further; it came to me as a picture in my mind and I decided to run with it to see where it took me. Strangely, I thought at first that the mental image I received was that of the Hierophant, until I went through the Thoth deck and realised that I had been subject to a Mercury Retrograde ‘glitch’ and that, in fact, the card that I had been visualising was the next card in the major arcana: The Lovers.
The Lovers and the Cups go hand-in-hand in a couple of key respects.
First, there is the idea of The Lovers as the card of coupling. Traditionally it is the one that many, if not most, clients love to see in a relationship reading because they feel it to be the card that most closely describes ‘romantic relationship’. We still buy into that notion in so many ways, don’t we? It is an utterly seductive thought that we might just meet the person (or persons) of our dreams and come together effortlessly, our lives melting into a sense of carefreeness where we can surrender to the other. This notion is sold to us wherever we turn, it seems. If it isn’t being reinforced by the media we consume, then it is often being reinforced by the traditions that weave through our families, friends and communities.
To me, it feels almost osmotic. And I speak personally as well as professionally when I say this. As someone who is committed to their own process of growth and individuation, I am often scuppered by the deep-seated beliefs that still underpin many of my thoughts and actions that there is someone out there who is going to save me (most notably from myself). How convenient that would be! Consciously, I can put that to one side; when it is out of immediate consciousness, it is amazing how quickly it wants to slip into the front seat and start taking control of the steering wheel.
So, The Lovers as the defining card of relational love. Couple it with the Four, Ace, and Five of Cups and you have, on the surface at least, all the ingredients of romantic drama: we fall in love with the idea of love (Four), we realise it’s not all it’s cracked up to be (Five), we begin to understand the nature of real love (Ace), and that unites us with the other (The Lovers).
But is that the whole story? I don’t think so.
The second interpretation of The Lovers is about choice. Here, I feel that that choice is between seeing this reading in terms of this first option — the romance — or of understanding that underneath the surface idea of romantic love there is something else that is offering itself up for consideration: a deeper idea of relationship. Because once the falling in love stage has passed, what is it that is there that enriches us, and continues to feed us?
The key, here, are the Ace and The Lovers. We can choose to see love differently, and we do this by choosing to see it as a pathway to a deeper commitment to ourselves — the integration of opposites, of our inner masculine and feminine, of the darkness into the light. When we do this, we can more fully commit to the other, whomever or whatever we choose that other to be.
The Lovers is the first card in the major arcana to include people: the figures of man, woman and children are mortal (whereas The Fool, The Magician, The High Priestess, The Empress, The Emperor and The Hierophant are god-like archetypes). They are presided over by The Hermit in a ‘marriage of opposites’. The Hermit is a sage-like figure who understands the dedication it takes to tend to one’s own soul. In order to unite opposites, one has to be conscious of the need to be able to stand alone with the courage to look into the darkness within. The Ace sits beneath these five figures, feeding them with the flow of love that jets up from the Cup and into the card above it.
That is what feeds relationship: a love that loves ‘in spite of’ and not ‘because of’. And it starts with the Self. From there, it radiates out, showing up any other kind of ‘love’ — Luxury (Four) and Disappointment (Five) — as temporary, fleeting, subject to the ebbs and flows of life. The Four and Five are not meaningless; they can be deeply felt. But they are not what endures, and they do not form a foundation that can be built on indefinitely.
The presence of The Lovers reminds us of the love that we can choose to return to when we understand the transitory nature of everything else. It is what we can strive towards. Sometimes we feel it; sometimes we do not, or cannot. But it never leaves us. It is the reminder of what is there when we connect with the truth of who we are. Everything else is window dressing.
Today’s review is asking you to go back and do your own review of love in your life and see where it is that you can re-connect with the love that has always been there, inside you, and to move into its flow so that it feeds everything around you. You don’t have to do it perfectly — that’s not the point. It is the reaching for it, and the finding it, the losing it, and finding it again, that reminds us of what we are capable, even if for moments. Ah, but it is those moments that feed and sustain us, and where we come into contact with something that is permanent and transcendent.
If you want to experiment with tarot cards and don’t have any, we provide a free tarot spread generator using the Celtic Wings spread, which is based on the traditional Celtic Cross spread. This article explains how to use the spread.
“Today’s review is asking you to go back and do your own review of love in your life and see where it is that you can re-connect with the love that has always been there, inside you, and to move into its flow so that it feeds everything around you. You don’t have to do it perfectly — that’s not the point. It is the reaching for it, and the finding it, the losing it, and finding it again, that reminds us of what we are capable, even if for moments. Ah, but it is those moments that feed and sustain us, and where we come into contact with something that is permanent and transcendent.’
Brilliant. Thank you.
Yes, what Paolo said. And this is so beautiful “That is what feeds relationship: a love that loves ‘in spite of’ and not ‘because of’.” This is what I’m trying to know and understand right now, unconditional love – which is so different from the idea of ‘love’ that we grew up with. Thank you Sarah.
(and thanks for fixing it, Chris!)
YES. The weaving of opposites to create strength within and without. So tough to live transcendence in a conventional world, though. My Lovers is showing up as a balancing act between doing and being, united by what’s most important — my values.
Thank you Sarah for a wonderful look inside the Lovers. I esp like how you said, “In order to unite opposites, one has to be conscious of the need to be able to stand alone with the courage to look into the darkness within.” I don’t know why, but it rang out in this article in a different way than it is usually cliched to do. I think I must slow down. And there I can feel that I don’t really have to arrive at any other spot than where I have always been: in my present and full awareness of my now.
Grazie tante,
Paolo