The original pornographic images described prostitutes and what you could do with them. Their point was to get you interested, then you could do the real thing for a fee. In perfect market economy form, the advertisement has become the product. Pornography as we think of it is a media-based form of prostitution. You purchase the image of a person for your private sexual use, in lieu of the original.
For the purveyor, it’s extremely efficient. For a relatively small amount of money, an image can repeatedly be sold to hundreds of thousands of people.
For the consumer, the only problem is that it’s a picture and not a warm, sensating person. When this picture is masturbated to, it’s an indulgence in the experience of entering that cosmic, metaprogramming bliss of orgasm and imprinting oneself with unfulfilled desire. Ejaculating at the behest of a sexy picture and your fist is not the same thing as letting go into a woman whose eyes see yours and affirm your existence as you surrender.
so sincere; m-ing revolution is gaining more members! of course, intimacy, heart, is often exactly what people fear the very, very, very most… women as much as men…
which is why self-love proponents the world over receive the harshest backlash…
Yo, e… I’d like to see this gentleman in front of your camera. Truth or dare.
m
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Mystes, the Initiated One:
What exactly do you mean?
e
This is a reader reply that came in via email:
Eric:
What if sometimes, when a man wants to masturbate – instead of using images of women, pornographic or otherwise, instead of using a mirror, as you suggest – he simply focuses on himself? His…Self?
I have no doubt this will have a significant – if not profound – effect on his ability to be empathetic and fulfilled. If as you assert, men want to be desired more, they must first learn to desire themselves.
You can only give – or receive – what you have within you to share.
How can a man masturbate and experience deep and profound fulfillment on all levels? By teaching him Self the difference between having sex and making love and then learning to make love to him Self. And that begins with self acceptance.
Self acceptance is a powerful magnet for others with self acceptance. (It’s a powerful magnet, period.) Self acceptance creates fulfillment. A man with self acceptance has deeply fulfilling orgasms with him Self – with or without “props.” A man with self acceptance has orgasms that nourish all aspects of his Self and doesn’t need to “blow his load,” all over anyone else.
A man with self acceptance can attract a woman with self acceptance and together – with acceptance, trust and respect – they can play power games with sex – safely (for body and psyche).
A man with self acceptance attracts women with self acceptance who are willing and capable of accepting all aspects of the man’s sexuality – from the needy man-boy with the secret whore fetish desiring quick sex, to the evolved man seeking more of him Self through making love.
The self accepting man can balance his most base desires with his mature mind and heart and therefore has the power to choose well in every moment. He also has the courage and desire to be truly sexually and emotionally open and vulnerable, knowing that these are powerful tools for deepening intimacy and fulfillment.
And, a man with self acceptance does not need a woman’s acceptance to be whole, healthy, happy and deeply fulfilled. So, though he may chuckle at the thought of it, Bukkake likely seems a rather incongruous fantasy to a man with genuine self acceptance.
Society has taught men to believe that images create desire – that visual images of women are the most significant component to create arousal. The porn industry is laughing all the way to the bank with that one.
In this paradigm, everyone loses, especially men. Basically, that’s teaching men that illusion and base desires control them. You’ve linked mental body and physical body, but left out what actually lies between mind and body…emotional body…heart.
Images only create desire if you believe they do. And that kind of arousal is very incomplete…it is only about the mind and the most base urges of the body. What about the expansion and deepening of body, the heart, the Self? Images are only one part of the whole of what true desire and fulfillment, sexual and otherwise, are all about.
Men can discover something else for themselves if they choose – something much richer, deeper and more fulfilling. And in this, they can truly “be” all of themselves. But it must begin with them.
And Eric, men like you -if you choose – can take the lead.