There’s one aspect that I didn’t mention in today’s daily astrology. Tonight we’re covering Jupiter in Gemini in some detail, so I’d like to devote a few lines to this. Mercury entered Cancer last week, and as happens when any planet goes onto the cardinal cross (Aries, Cancer, Libra or Capricorn) it gets involved with the slow-moving Uranus-Pluto square — the 2012 aspect.
That aspect (Uranus in Aries square Pluto in Capricorn) is activated or manifested in ‘real life’ when other planets make aspects to it — and now Mercury is opposite Pluto and square Uranus. Since Mercury is in Cancer, it will influence the emotional level and have a strong impact on kids. I suggest strongly that adults take the time to check in with their young people and see how things are going for them. If the world is feeling overwhelming for you, imagine how it’s feeling for them.
Mercury’s aspects are also giving us a sense of what this time in our lives is all about. Experiences may feel extra deep, poignant, painful or real, and if they do, I suggest you notice that fact and be with it before you start asking why. A big part of why is because so many people have waited so long to do so much — and now the thing to do is to go one step at a time, starting with your highest priority.
Sorry about that Carrie – Myers-Briggs. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Myers-Briggs_Type_Indicator
According to the test, only 3% of the population is like me.
Carrie… one line struck me in your first note. “we don’t get any help…” NO help? Student loans? foodstamps? EIC for your children who live at home? Children’s health insurance through the state? Housing assistance? I know you qualify for at least some of that. Isn’t that help?
Not to mention the intangible ‘help’ from having a community that isn’t rife with murders and carjackings and starvation on the streets.
I worked a 12 hour day yesterday with 3 clients, put in about 120 miles on my car; then came home, unpacked and put together furniture. When I woke up this morning so tired I couldn’t string together a full sentence I let myself meander from one tasklette to another. In doing I realized that I *do* have a solution, I just have to activate it. Yes, things may go a little sideways for a few weeks, but they may not. Sometimes you have to take your foot off of the pedal and coast to remember how much help you actually have. Gravity, for example. (Not entropy, the actual, attractive force of gravity…)
Yes, you have to tell the kids to stop moping and engage. That’s your job. It’s my job. There’s no ‘sigh’ about it. Remember when I wrote about that mommyhawk I saw run her hawklette off into a new territory. I could *tell* that this wasn’t her favorite thing to do. But she had to so that her youngling would *survive* — and did so with a certain brusque efficiency.
We’re no less obligated.
Oh, one more thing: when your children balk, maybe they resent being asked for ‘help.’ It isn’t ‘helping’ you to say: pull your damn weight (there’s that gravity again). It is just basic physics. Clothes don’t fold themselves, by god, and have you noticed how much less *space* they take up after they’re folded? Same architectonics apply to children, I swear.
“Heck, as a 3%-er, I hardly expect anyone to be on my page!”
What’s a “3%-er?”
You are right about us not clinging; ultimately the idea is for them to fly the nest, so living with us is only to allow them to save the money to launch.
Yes, Carrie, I remember the Waltons! Yes, for me, I do feel it’s a disservice to not make them want to spread their wings. I see families cling to their kids, stunting their children’s emotional growth, because they don’t want to let go, making it too comfortable for them not to want to go. Not that you’re clinging! I can see that. Financial considerations aside, birds need to leave the nest. My daughter might otherwise not have focused herself to get those 2 degrees and now, at 32, owns her own home. So, yes, of course, we can agree to disagree on this! Heck, as a 3%-er, I hardly expect anyone to be on my page!
As for melatonin, yes I know about it, boy do I know about it. With adrenal fatigue comes a litany of supplements and MUCH altered daily routine: passion flower, GABA, melatonin, Isocort, licorice root, and a bunch of adaptogenic herbs, which didn’t help me much, not to mention the bucket-loads of B complex and C to rebuild the adrenals, as the adrenals are made of C, and what are women’s lives, but stress, eating up that C every day. Initially I tried valerian, but my body laughs at Valerian and sleepytime tea. I could hear it: “Really? Valerian? You’re joking, right?”
Thank you for your wish for sleep for me! I know I am, I feel, better than I was a year ago, 2 years ago, and surely if cancer treatment didn’t send ALL my hormone levels into the gutter, the adrenal fatigue wouldn’t have gotten as big a grip on me, but chemo bottomed out everything. And doctors are the least helpful people on the planet, simply because they’re not trained to heal.
So, I’ve tackled my health by myself, and have done a damn good job so far, considering what I’ve had to deal with along the way. So, unlike you, I don’t have masses of energy, and have no energy until the estrogens/prog goes on, throughout the day.
But that’s OK – it’s just the way it is. Considering what my future might hold for me, this is small beans. I’ve already had 2 heart issues either from the chemo or radiation, and the lungs suffered Bleomycin (the B in ABVD) toxicity, so I am to never get the flu, never mind pneumonia. But I am nothing if not a fighter. And I do actually believe I can reverse the damage. Given time.
I am glad you understand how your body/mind works and what it is you need when. That’s so important. Especially for women. Our bodies are just so much more complicated and can be more easily damaged, than men’s bods. One message I would have for young women is to not take your health and vigor for granted. Decades of being the Do-All, and not having the time, usually, to do what’s best for yourself, will take its toll. My daughter’s learning this one already, and is actively nipping the detriment in the bud.
One more thing, Dawn. I hope you find some sleep. Have you tried taking melatonin? It is the natural sleep hormone and can be found at Walmart (or your favorite health food store).
It is made in abundance when we are babies but tapers off as we age so supplementing it is a good idea if you find sleep elusive. It is not habit forming. I was told you can take up to 6 MCG (or is it MG?) a night. It would be wise to check with your doctor before taking it just to be sure it is ok for you.
Dawn,
Thanks for the very good advice. I am post M as of this month (12 months sans periods..yay!) I am still on bioidenticals but at lower doses. I have no problem sleeping at night and I have the energy of people in their 30’s. I don’t know why that is but it is.
What you saw in my posts is something I do in cycles. If I feel overwhelmed, I emote, write, cry, vent and become vulnerable for a while. I do need a gentle touch, a voice, some compassion at that time. I am an intense person (220 in a 110 world) so those on the receiving end of my emotive moments feel the intensity and worry about me. I am wired for that intensity and after the storm I become calm, sleep well and awaken ready to proactively find solutions to my challenges. That intense overwhelm doesn’t last long.
My seeming strength sometimes makes people think I don’t need that gentle hand, word or touch of reassurance and understanding but I do. When they offer it, I feel that balm and both the release of the emotive crying and writing and that balm help me so much. When I get done and get back to my self, I am again that energetic powerhouse that thrives on doing and helping others. Some people have called me a battery others plug into because I have so much to give.
Only once was I depressed, truly depressed and quite enervated; that was in the years 2004-2007 when our family was nearly homeless (…twice). Dave went through 7 jobs in those three years and we moved four times. I had no faith in any being so I felt alone and overwhelmed. When I finally let go and chose to believe in “something;” nameless though it is (and not understandable to me for the most part), things got better. My rational self says I am just deluding myself that something out there cares about me but the “delusion” is working; I am calmer, happier and better able to deal with things. So I roll with it.
Even so, I will remember your wise words and keep them in mind; my immune system is not the best (of all the family mine is the weakest along with one of my daughters).
“We didn’t want to be another statistic of a family whose 30-yr old children were moving back home, because they couldn’t make it in the world.”
In this we differ; the nuclear family is a recent event among centuries of extended family living (and communal living) so we don’t have a problem with our kids living with us for as long as they need to provided they pay their share of the living expenses and do their share of the household maintenance and work. I don’t know if you remember that old 70’s program “The Waltons” but it was a glamorized look at how families lived several generations in a house; Asian and other families still do this because they know it is financially smart to pool their resources. In many third workd countries it is standard practice; we are becoming a third-world country so we may all end up living this way so we figured we would do it by choice. We know that generations living together may seem alien to most Americans but that’s because most Americans only remember the post-war years.
After WWII, Europe was being rebuilt and the Asian pacific countries and South America were still not spending powerhouses. American manufacturing had gone into overdrive with the war so companies had goods but who to sell them to? They decided to push families apart because if they did that, they could sell more goods. So there were magazine and TV public service ads and movie ads about moving away from Mom and Dad and Grandparents (who now had Social security to help them in their golden years) and focus on the their one “nuclear” family. This was a social experiment designed to sell products, not to strengthen families.
We can see that this country is going through another depression so we encourage our kids to live with us as long as they wish and as long as they contribute and live by rules we can all agree on.
As the Muslims say “To you be your way and to me be mine.” 🙂
Carrie,
I understand. I am 53, same generation as you – work ethic-reared.
My daughter, a Gemini, couldn’t decide on a major, when in college, and wanted to extend her 4 years to 5. I said no. It’s a 4-year degree, you do it in 4 years (she was going full-time, so no excuse.) We also could not afford the burden of college expenses for another year. Yes, she was miffed. For awhile. But she ended up graduating with 2 degrees. In the 4 yrs.
College is most kids’ first foray into adulthood, today. This happened for us, when we were still teens, working from when we were 15, 16. So, we did not provide them with anything to make it easier – stuff we didn’t have growing up. They still had to earn the money for their car insurance and its expenses, when they wanted to drive, tho we helped to provide the used, cheap cars. And they had their chores at home. We didn’t make it uncomfortable for them, but we did want them to want to move on with their lives. We didn’t want to be another statistic of a family whose 30-yr old children were moving back home, because they couldn’t make it in the world.
My son, a Leo, is self-directed, made his own way through his Masters and PhD, so, maybe it’s just something in the eldest teens’ charts making them veer away from the adult responsibility that college entails?
Another of your comments (yesterday?) concerns me. I don’t know if you’re pre or post-M, but the Quantity of responsibility and work load you have is a worry. You mention thinking quick, and if you’re like I was, you run through each day doing the work of 2 people.
DO take extra care of yourself at this point in your life. Once the hormone levels shift, despite bio-identical supplementation, the bio-chemistry does change. Being a Ricochet Rabbit is only possible while women are young. What I wouldn’t give to be 35 again, and have that energy, which began to go to shit at 40.
At our age, it leads to adrenal fatigue. 2 years I’ve been battling this, not long after 2 years of cancer treatments and being thrust into menopause overnight. You *don’t* want to go down this road of overdoing, becoming so exhausted, yet NOT being able to sleep (and hence help the adrenals to heal), so that the adrenals then struggle to recover.
And no, I couldn’t avoid this health disaster – husband lost job, house on the market 5 years finally sold, but we were forced to close on and move out of it w/in 3 weeks – a 13-room house with 2 attics, 2 basements and a 3-car garage – an antique we had spent 16 yrs restoring, and which I loved. I packed up and sold off the contents almost single-handedly, while not sleeping more than a couple hrs each night. We had not a cent to hire help, and considered ourselves lucky we weren’t actually losing the house. Moved out of state, then after a year in a rental, which hubby hated, moved again to a foreclosure – not to a house I love. Just a house.
Minute changes in my daily environment keep me from sleeping well. And until I can sleep well, I can’t get well (and I have an entire ritual of supplements/herbs and destressing I do every night, but the adrenals can be quite fragile.) So, please, do take care to circumnavigate around this potential health disaster – I see/read about far too many women who land where I am now, and don’t know what’s wrong and how to get well.
Hang on in there, Carrie! Good luck with it all.
Thanks so much for this, Eric. I have natal Mercury in Cancer, and it feels as if I’ve suddenly been hit very hard by something that I didn’t see coming. yes – one step at a time.
Lovely. Just when my husband and I were thinking of sitting down our oldest teens and making them realize that to take only 3 classes a semester (and not doing their fair share of the household tasks here) while we provide a free place to live and food is just not fair to us or their siblings or themselves. I know they are under stress but why can’t they suck it up like we had to and still have to? We didn’t get any help (still don’t) so they should take advantage of the help we can offer ( a roof over their heads, food on the table, their needs met) and get as much of their college done as they can. That’s reality and shielding them from it won’t do them any favors.
::::sigh::::