In the new subscriber edition of Planet Waves, I cover the nagging question of how you go about finding a good therapist. This article has been two years in the making, and I had help from Planet Waves readers who took part in an open discussion in 2010 that helped shape the article.
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thanks for adding that piece to the puzzle, sarah — makes a lot of sense!
Eric, now my curiosity is truly piqued by those off-the-record stories!
I also wanted to add something about the emotions that can come up in the first few sessions. This is a hard one to work with, because it can often be incredibly challenging to differentiate between a genuine clash of personalities/crossing of boundaries/inappropriate behaviour on the part of the therapist, and a client’s reaction to a perfectly boundaried, empathic, reasonable therapist because they are seeing them through the lens of their past. For example, someone with a deep mistrust of authority figures might find it difficult, if not impossible, to believe that a therapist has their interests at heart.
True, a good therapist will know how to deal with it, and much of therapy training is around a client’s ambivalence – because we often resist the very thing that is going to liberate us. But if you’re in the first few sessions with a therapist and you have the urge to throw it all in, say to hell with it all, or you feel that the therapist is anything from useless to demanding to punitive – unless that therapist’s conduct is irrefutably out of order, I’d take it to them. Lay it all out in front of them; tell them how you’re feeling, what you think of them, what you *feel* about them. Then see how they deal with it.
If how they deal with it takes you towards cultivating that state of trust in them that Eric refers to as the ultimate aim of therapy (Yes!), then it might be that you are looking in a mirror, or looking at the past, rather than at them. Give it a little more time. If how they react takes you away from that sense of trust, I’d suggest looking for another option.
Shout out to Joe Trusso for his help on this one. I’ve been bouncing the idea around with him for years, and finally a week ago Monday came in for a session with my notebook and we sorted out the issue…and I heard some interesting off-the-record stories…
Thank you Huffy and Len! I’m glad to hear you enjoyed the horoscopes so much. 🙂
Great Friday edition, Eric. As someone who has been through therapy, I thought everything you touched on was spot on. For myself and a number of other folks I know, synchronicity and networking we involved in finding great therapists. And I couldn’t agree more that trust is one of the biggest things you learn in therapy.
Yes, this is a brilliant piece on how to find a therapist, Eric. Thank you for another cracking edition, and Geneviève’s wonderful horoscopes.
Eric: Thank you for a comprehensive and exquisitely layered feature for this week’s subscriber edition. A how-to guide for securing a counselor is a true public service, but, as you so often do, you transcend into greater truths as well. Among those greater truths is a validation of folk art unlike any in my memory. Artists of all kinds would be wise to take inspiration from your affirmation of their efforts to demonstrate that awakening and healing are matters of collaboration and participation. There are no spectators for activities in which we all have an interest – and we all have an interest in each other. Additional thanks to Ms. Hathaway for her horoscopes, and of course, to the entire Planet Waves team contributing to the best astrology on Earth.