ALBANY — Gov. Andrew Cuomo today warned New Yorkers that an ice age was impending, and that they should prepare for 10,000 to 15,000 years of glaciers, Arctic superstorms and generally chilly weather.
“I know this comes hard to those of you who just accepted that global warming is real,” he said today in what may have been the last press conference in his frost-crusted executive offices.
“But we have new data, and the ice age has officially begun.” He then dipped a quill pen into the executive ink well once used by Gov. George Washington, and signed the declaration. There was muted applause in the room.
“Some of you may be tempted to downplay this and act nonchalantly. If you do, you risk ending up on display in a natural history museum at some point in the very distant future,” he said.
He added that schools across the state will be closed today and tomorrow, and that low-lying areas in New York City would be evacuated. Nathan’s Famous Hot Dogs on Surf Ave. will remain open through the Ice Age, following a long-standing company tradition.
The Ice Age was forecast to have high winds, cooler temperatures, the extinction of thousands of species and a general rearrangement of geologic features, such as cliffs and mountain ranges.