Editor’s Note: The following post, titled On Father’s Day, Every Dad is the Favorite, was written by Dr. Ellen Libby for Huffingtonpost.com.
It’s Father’s Day! Feeling Special?
Father’s Day is fast approaching and children of all ages will soon celebrate their fathers with words, gifts, and cards. Some fathers will enthusiastically and whole-heartedly embrace the tributes coming their way, while others will be more guarded, not psychologically prepared to celebrate.
These mixed responses on Father’s Day are rooted in a father’s own childhood experiences and his memories of celebrating Father’s Day with his own dad. These memories are also shaped by the father-son relationship: Was he the favorite child? Was he unfavored? Was he overlooked when growing up?
It is, in part, this family experience of feeling favored or not, that teaches children to embrace their own specialness. Men who experienced favoritism as a child most likely developed the psychological maturity needed to express love. Fathers who were either unfavored or overlooked as children are less likely to see themselves as special. They may have grown up not believing that they are fully lovable and thus, they might struggle to fully accept expressions of love this Father’s Day.
Fathers who were the favorite child
Fathers who experienced the benefits of favoritism as a child most likely developed the confidence that evolves from having won the quintessential struggle — being deemed more special than anyone else in the family. Favorite children learn what it is like to be praised or even exalted. These childhood experiences mesh with subsequent life experiences, preparing these men who are now fathers themselves, for adulation from their family on Father’s Day.