Chiron Files by Eric Francis
Dear Friend and Reader:
Today is the annual cult of romance known as Valentine’s Day.
It’s time for all the coupled people to buy chocolate and flowers and diamonds, and pump the romance of their love affairs; time for all the uncoupled people to unabashedly ramp up their search for the special relationship; or to sit home woefully dreaming of what might someday be or what one day was. With each passing year, Valentine’s Day competes with Christmas and Halloween for the “most money spent” award. Many single people feel left out; for some it’s a sad day.
Have you ever questioned whether this approach to relationships — that is, to romance — is healthy? As an astrologer who has discussed relationships with nearly every client who has come to me, I propose it’s time to ask. Valentine’s Day mania is just an example of the many ways our society is oriented around ‘coupledom’, from benefits in the tax code to one of the biggest civil rights issues of our day, that being the right of lesbian and gay people to marry. What is interesting is the extent to which this meme of pair bonding is presented as the only legitimate relationship option. If you’re not in a relationship, some odd rule somewhere says you have to be in one; there’s a kind of mandatory search for the ‘special someone’.
Does anyone remember that line from Fear of Flying, in which Erica Jong says she wants to be a whole person instead of half a couple? The astrology of 2011 is all about being a whole person. Astrology or not, the moment we’re in is calling on us to be a whole person, in harmony with our own energy. We talk a lot about being in integrity; that means whole and integrated.
The astrology of our moment strongly favors whole personhood. In fact, if not for the devoted resistance to the concept that seems to be such a part of the dualistic human experience, I would say it’s all but inevitable. This is illustrated several different ways.
First, Saturn in Libra is peeling back the facade from our relationships. The standard narrative (the nuclear family, monogamy is the only way; if you’re single, you’re weird) is wearing thin under the compelling energy of Saturn; astrology that is urging us to get real. Part of real is about making sure we are emotionally self-sufficient; part of real is about conducting our relationships on adult terms. One thing our society does is romanticize relationships; as if once you have one, you’ll always be on a Caribbean vacation. Saturn in Libra is saying we need to be more practical from the outset. Yes we need passion, yes we need to dream and yes, we need to treat our relationships like real-world entities that require a strong sense of purpose and regular maintenance.