This is part one of our coverage of Venus direct. Here is part two.
Venus stations direct in Gemini Wednesday at 11:07 am EDT. This has been an eventful six week phase, including a pair of eclipses, Jupiter’s ingress into Gemini, the first contact of Uranus square Pluto, and the Venus transit of the Sun. Children born this spring will have to live to 108 in order to see the next one, which will take place in Sagittarius in 2117. The next (ordinary) Venus retrograde in Gemini is in 2020.
Venus plus Gemini plus the retrograde feels like the place where emotions meet psychology. Our lives would be easier, if we had more familiarity and indeed ability to be in that space. Mixing our rational thoughts with some feelings and our emoting with some reasoning, it might feel like walking on water.
My take is that this is a deeply emotional time for many people, though it’s tempered by their desire for something else. Venus making these moves in Gemini is about deepening our relationships to ourselves, and calling back our projections onto others. Much of what we do when we have relationships is relate to ourselves, through the vehicle of the other. In a sense, we often use one another to self-actualize.
This works well as far as it goes; at a certain point we have to take over the process ourselves. That can be a vulnerable moment.
One friend recently wrote to me: “Though I am being in my tearfulness and terror and extreme emotional pain, I am being in it (for today) in a way that acknowledges that I am entering a time of giving up dependence, as per my/our agreement with our therapist. For the next month, at least, as a trial, giving up dependence. I’m scared. Scared of being alone, scared of facing myself, scared of my shadow. But I turn and embrace that fear, that loneliness, that shadow.”
Another friend wrote: “I’ve come apart at the seams so many times before, and ran into the arms of some equally broken man hoping to fill the void and be his everything. This vicious cycle of needing and being needed, festering wounds of abandonment and codependency.”
Not everyone is going through this kind of deep process, though I suspect that various shades of it are influencing many people. Gemini is the sign that contains our ideas of our ‘relationship to self’. Venus is often about relating to others, though in Gemini, inner contact is emphasized. You can think of this Venus station, and indeed the whole retrograde experience, as an exploration of the force that attracts us to ourselves.
It’s worth stating outright that this is taboo, often uncomfortable territory. As yet another friend wrote to me, embracing the taboo:
In the light of day, it’s a little tricky not to wonder if I was kidding myself, and rationalizing my desire not to care about the ‘rules’. But this is what I wrote in my journal the morning after the May 20 eclipse, which was the train of thought I’d had just after masturbating during that event:
Maybe that [the needy, wanting, insecure me] is my true darkness, the part of me I need compassion for, the part I need to love into acceptance and integration, the part that shows me where I really am, & for which I can be very grateful & loving, because it shows me where I need to grow / am growing. And maybe my inner slut who wants to be able to fuck this married man without caring [about the ‘rules’] is showing me something beautiful that I can love as well: that’s the ‘me’ who knows what she wants, who owns her desire, who understands how sexually powerful she is, who knows that men want her & that she can have them as she wishes.
Relationship to self typically gets fogged over as uncomfortable self-consciousness or self-criticism. It’s often mistaken for narcissism, vanity, egotism and self-absorption, all of which are substitutes or distractions for actual inner awareness and a conscious relationship to yourself.
There are some people who are naturally gifted at this; their inner experience of self is clear and on level ground. Yet many of us carry psychological damage that directly interferes with our ability to have a healthy inner relationship. This can manifest as any shade of guilt, shame, self-loathing, discomfort or paralysis. It can manifest as competing inner voices seeming to pull you in different directions. It can feel like equally poignant desires and the feeling of having to choose.
Who is the real you? Discovering that is a journey. Some call it a spiritual journey; others have described it as the path to self-actualization; one of the most dependable places to open up and explore is in therapy process. However you go about it, the significant factor is that you embrace your relationship to yourself as your one truly lifelong partnership.
It has life on every level of experience, from language to the choices you make, to how you feel when you look into a mirror, to who you are when you relate to others. There’s an erotic dimension, since you are the one lover who you will assuredly have for the rest of your life, and there’s the essential element of a conscious relationship to death. All of these are works in process.
Venus stationing direct has implications for mundane astrology — such as those of you on job searches or solving financial riddles. I’ll cover those tomorrow. For now, in a word — I would counsel patience. There is no rush, especially right as Venus changes directions, so easy does it.
Alright then.
Time to close comments on this discussion.
yes, thank you Aword.
Thanks, aword, for taking up the metaphor, and doing something so beautiful with it. Was kind of sitting on my stomach after I posted it…
…and taking that theme, then — this is your classroom, Eric. I am giving you my full attention. For the most part I have tried to tie my personal posts to what seems to me to be happening in the world, even if it is mentioning my personal aspect or a dream or such, the intent is that it ties in to the broader astro moment. I’m positive I’ve not always filled that definition, but I remain confident that you are very much a man of that “the personal is political” theme and that there is plenty of space at PW for us to remain personal with each other, yet remember that this is a political environment.
In further sticking with that “school teacher theme” Huffy just suggested – I’ll say this, historically I’ve been a “good/successful student” in part because I think outside the box and bring myself into class with new innovative thoughts while still conforming to the structure that is needed for the group to thrive. And I have a willingness to share of my “personal self” in that classroom regardless of potential judgement. But, if it’s English, I don’t talk about what I bought yesterday at the mall – unless it pertains to the English lesson at hand.
Your posting of the controversial Thomas Friedman lecture is one example that shows me that you are not only looking for cues as to how to keep outside the box and forward, but you continually desire and process input from us, this community that has grown around you.
Thanks again for this space you provide for us, and your guidance so it does, indeed continue to thrive.
Forgive me Eric. Think you know full well by now that I think the world of you, am always bowled over by what you do, and am also eternally grateful. But right now you’re sounding like a school teacher.
“Part of putting one’s words and ideas out before the public, whether as a journalist or some other kind of participant, is that they are subject to critique, quotation, review, attack, misquotation, being misunderstood and being taken out of context — and a few other possibilities.”
Especially when only communicating with the written word / online, hence why I call it, “lost in textlation” (SLD, 2008).
I think we do pretty well in some respects.
However I’ve been watching this develop for a long time, and reading what some readers say to me in emails, and what some of my colleagues notice, and I am proposing (perhaps in a left handed way, and now directly) that we raise the level of the discussion.
That starts with recognizing where we are. In part due to my own press exposure and in part due to our gradually rising profile as an organization (and 14 years proliferating on the net), quite literally anyone could be reading. By anyone I mean actually anyone. That’s an impressive forum. It’s time to recognize that influence for what it is.
I believe that it’s time for the discussion here to take a step, and be more issues-focused as well as personally focused. We spend a lot of time working through a few participants’ personal material and less time and energy proposing solutions to the problems we’re aware of, bringing in additional facts and data, or seeking to understand the astrology.
The nature of this whole discussion (current thread) veered so far from the ideas contained in the article (and the other quotes I included) that I was pretty amazed, given how many emails I got about the article. I suggest that we constantly strive to stretch or burst the bubble of “personal material” and look to the larger implications of what is happening in the world and our role in it.
I appreciate the rap session environment that we have, though we are at least in theory committed to the idea that Planet Waves is also devoted to the very large picture, to raising awareness of issues that impact us deeply, to informing others, to preparing people for leadership and to focusing our energy in a collective way.
I am suggesting that when you participate in the rap session, remember that Michelle Obama could be reading what you write eating her salad during lunch, and that hundreds of new readers every day arrive and assess everything on the website — not just the articles.
As a writer in this forum I suggest you have expectations on yourself similar to those you have on me. The first of those is understanding the nature of the audience and the environment into which you are speaking.
I totally see your point, Eric, but the nature of free speech is just that – that people are ‘free’ to express themselves freely – which means you’ll get the good, the bad, and the ugly. I think it’s pretty significant that you only had to close down a thread once in all these years (as far as i know).
Part of putting one’s words and ideas out before the public, whether as a journalist or some other kind of participant, is that they are subject to critique, quotation, review, attack, misquotation, being misunderstood and being taken out of context — and a few other possibilities.
This is why fewer, carefully chosen, well-reasoned words are preferable to letting everything hang out unprocessed.
“I know its hard to step back when you’ve been fingered. But try”. Carrie, I think Mystes means, take a step back and look at what this brings up in you, not to step off this blog page! You’d be sorely missed by many of us if you did – you’d leave a very big hole indeed! Think what happened here has brough up a lot of stuff for many of us, which is had, but it’s also a good thing, that’s where the most growing happens (alas!).
“I know its hard to step back when you’ve been fingered. But try.”
Done. I gave my e-mail and I am on FB at Carrie Kemerer Harrington.
“Carrie ((((( ))))”
Thanks, Huffy.
Thanks for your lovely comment, gumbybug – confirms what I feel about the beauty of this blog page. And is significant that you comment now, cos I haven’t seen you here before (my apologies if I’m mistaken).
You’re so darned right, Mystes – with Venus in Gemini going direct to boot. Yesterday was one of the worst days of this year for me. Received a huge (unpayable) tax bill (in Italy they tax the poor, not the rich, and made a total dogs dinner of the exam I had to take.
Wandering Yeti, Carrie ((((( ))))
My twin daughters passsed their permit test today. I will be busy teaching them how to drive for several weeks; if anyone wishes to contact me I can be reached at
carecare7 (at) msn (dot) com.
As they said in the 80’s “It’s been real, it’s been fun but….” you know the rest.
I thank you all for your presence and willingness to share the many facets of yourselves with others through this medium. This quote seems to fit in with the current discussion:
“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye.”
-Antoine de Saint-Exupery-
Much gratitude to each and every one of you as your thoughts provide many avenues for questions, reflection, hopefully continued growth.
I would like to remember from now on not to engage in internet conversations when my neck feels overly tight. That’s a clear sign that the brain that types isn’t paying close attention to Heart’s motivations.
Reading back over what I wrote I can tell I was coming from a space of fearful self defense and projection. A simmering anger and fearful projections are so familiar to me that even after years of mindfulness practices I can sometimes only recognize in retrospect where I was really coming from.
Thanks Eric and Alexander.
Carrie, you’ve made a good point. But it’s Cancer – and a waxing moon to Cap. And we’re in the big, fat middle of this Pluto/Uranus square, which is dragging energy in from the Cancer Sun like a mofo. Everybody’s feelings* are set to Big Kiddy Wah. I know its hard to step back when you’ve been fingered. But try.
(*cept mine of course)
I did not attack anyone here personally (or by name).
I said what I felt and then explained why I felt that way; still not attacking anyone here personally. If that’s not owning my feelings I don’t know what is.
I have been named in replies; two of which were less than kind to me personally.
I have asked that my posts on this thread be removed; the one to Len may remain.
Yes, Amanda, it does. It’s a simple thing really, but not always easy to see in oneself. xo
“The source of every shadow is light.”
that’s a comment on another thread on the blog today… i think it applies to this one, too…
That was lovely, liminali. Thank you.
“What I’m learning, and continue to learn, is that we cannot know what another person’s experience is, why they do the things that they do, what it is that they need in order to get where they are going. I might think I know, I might absolutely *know* that I know; the reality is that I don’t.”
I used to post on a design message board. There was a young woman whose posts were witty, engaging, lively, and smart. She charmed many of the older folks with her stories. She had been orphaned at the age of eight, raised in a convent, and was in the US to complete her studies.
This board did not have a private message function, if peeps wanted to correspond privately, an email address had to be posted. It did happen, but not often. She and I began writing each other, her story expanded. She was in the US seeking treatment for lymphoma. She was dying and did not want anyone’s pity. No one else on the message board had a clue what she was going through. She finished her semester and went home (Denmark), saying goodbye to the board. I sent her a birthday card, she acknowledged it in an email, and I never heard from her again. I sent a couple more emails, randomly, but knew they would not be answered. She was seven months younger than my own daughter; I still miss her light.
The point of this story is, you never know. You do not know what another peep online is thinking, feeling, experiencing. You know what they put forth online. You don’t know them or all their stories. There is always more to people than we can know, both online and in person. Know yourself first. My best friends are the ones who keep surprising me, keep teaching me, and keep causing laughter in my life. xo ((((all))))
Hey, did you happen to see this really cool article on PW today? -see quote below – It talks about projections and how we can see what is really going on inside ourselves by glancing at how we relate through others. Or something like that. Amazing to come across this! [Gee, how do they offer so much of this stuff up for free? its not JUST for subscribers!] And, if I reread it again, it says that maybe I could be desiring something else in my life. hmmm. That seems worth investigating. I wonder if anyone else picked up on that, sounds like a worthy topic, one that would inspire rather than isolate. And look, a place to share all those hot, exciting, inspiring ideas. How wonderful to not be alone in sharing the love. Thanks, Eric! Thanks, PW!
“My take is that this is a deeply emotional time for many people, though it’s tempered by their desire for something else. Venus making these moves in Gemini is about deepening our relationships to ourselves, and calling back our projections onto others. Much of what we do when we have relationships is relate to ourselves, through the vehicle of the other. In a sense, we often use one another to self-actualize.”
Absolutely WY: after 38 ( an often found state of normality in life perhaps ) comes 39 Obstruction and 40 Deliverance/Liberation. Appropriate! Thanks.
“Hexagram 38: Opposition: When the way of The Family draws to an end , misunderstandings come. Hence there follows the hexagram of Opposition. Opposition means misunderstandings.
In small matters, good fortune.
Above, Fire; below, the lake: the image of Opposition. Thus amid fellowship the sage retains individuality.
9 at the top: Isolated through opposition. One sees one’s companion as a pig covered with dirt, as a wagon full of devils. First one draws the bow against him, then one lays the bow aside. He is not a robber; he will woo at the right time. As one goes, rain falls; then good fortune comes.
Point taken. I have a hard time sometimes realizing how judgmental I can be. Obviously there’s a lot I still have to learn about non violent communication.
Want freedom?
Accept responsibility first.
My parents’ attitude to the longings of their teenage children. <<<(I believe this is one kind of personal that is germane to the discussion)
Sorry about all the ‘dongs’ – it’s that ‘i’ again.
‘But now people are being judged for judging’
They’re not Huffy, they’re being asked to be aware when they might be. It is not a big ask.
But when people write to one another, they are also writing for/to many. The best writers are the ones who are able to express how they feel with such truth and clarity that others say, yes, that’s exactly how I feel. I’m sure many people read certain things here and find solace in realising that they’re not the only ones who feel a certain way. I think you’re dong many people a great service by having such a website.
But now people are being judged for judging!
Where there is freedom there has to be some discipline.
What I want is for comment participants here to remember is that you’re not really writing to one another; you’re writing for a massive audience. I don’t hear too much attenuation to the actual environment that we’re in. You may be typing at your kitchen table but you don’t know who is reading.
Sarah – that captures it for me very well, thank you. It is hard to articulate the difference between the 2 ‘personals’; there is making a connection, authentic and honestly (even if what is shared is not always a comfortable share) and then there seems to be another which involves the possibility for shaming the other, and/or for saying ‘I am right – you are wrong’. Which I believe I have seen a lot of lately on here and as Eric says, that’s not what we do here.
Venus stations direct in Gemini. Hmmm……
“I don’t feel like anyone was waging a flame war here. The whole discussion was free of name calling and personal insults that pollute sites far and wide even though some firecrackers went off. I don’t think anyone lost a finger or an eye. Maybe someone cried. Good. Tears are cleansing. They help the lungs and heart cool off.
Is my writing style too brutal for Planetwaves?”
I would also ask that last question as well.
“If we are not to be unutterably alienated from ourselves then we have to stop oppressing ohrselves and others with our own pained projections…”
OK…I understand the message.
I thought PW was a place we could be ourselves; projections, pain, and all.
Was I wrong in thinking that?
Thought I’d put my oar in here too. I think that these off-topic rambles are part of the charm of PW. This is a place that encourages communication, which is the spice of life. As a teacher I find I get the most out of my students when I give them space to go off at a tangent at times.
I think there’s a distinction between two kinds of ‘personal’ here, imo. I can’t define it outright, but I know it when I feel it.
What I’m learning, and continue to learn, is that we cannot know what another person’s experience is, why they do the things that they do, what it is that they need in order to get where they are going. I might think I know, I might absolutely *know* that I know; the reality is that I don’t.
When we start extrapolating from a few sentences at most? – then I think we can be almost certain of the fact that we are projecting. We know almost nothing about the person concerned, but what we *do* bring to the scenario are our impassioned thoughts and charged feelings and years and years of our own experiences. So we bring ourselves to their scenario. I have sat across the room from a client for hours and still I need to remind myself that I know more about what I would do (and what I have done) in their situation than I know about them. It is a voyage of discovery and the slow, methodical extrication of myself from their story. It is a privilege to begin to witness who they are as an individual – and in this way, I feel it is a privilege to be let into people’s worlds on these pages, and I try to tread lightly. I am not them, and they are not me, but where we can meet is in a place of non-judgement and acceptance. I think that is where the personal meets the collective (and, by extension, the political).
Venus storm in Gemini- Mercury just entered Leo. There’s a perfect picture for taking things personally. Not making excuses. I Don’t really feel like anything has been done wrong. Sometimes a storm is good to clear the air.
Eric: not everyone has such ease with verbal communication nor are we trained as professional writers. Sometimes I can read and re-read a comment and I can sense its fire, but it doesn’t seem hot enough to burn to me. In the flesh I can sense a person’s energy field. The internet is like a fuzzy metal body glove.
If you want your comment area to be as professional as your articles then it would have to be reserved for professional writers and trained journalists like yourself. I don’t feel like anyone was waging a flame war here. The whole discussion was free of name calling and personal insults that pollute sites far and wide even though some firecrackers went off. I don’t think anyone lost a finger or an eye. Maybe someone cried. Good. Tears are cleansing. They help the lungs and heart cool off.
Is my writing style too brutal for Planetwaves?
“Hmm… these …
“please advance the topic rather than take it to the personal level”
are not mutually exclusive.
Remember that “personal is political” thing?
Blog comments are not the blog. They are *personal responses* to the blog or to other bloggers. As such, this is a different voice, with a different intent: to reach out, to think outloud, to see where the ideas or responses fit. Much much much more fluid than the blog itself.”
What she said. And thanks, Mystes.
Um, no Be, I think I’ll thank you now…
The Lady wrote:
“Didn’t we hear a lot of talk, read a lot and write a lot about ourselves? All about our values, hopes, discouragements and relationships. Well, yes, Leo IS dramatic, in order to be perceived and to make a point; but most of all to create. That Mercury is again, like last year, in yod formation with the sextile between Pluto who is digging up old identity issues, and Chiron in Pisces in the 3rd house. This Chiron in the SR U.S. chart is still about personal pain and the healing of same through the 3rd house activities of communicating.
thankyouthankyouthankYOU!!
Hmm… these …
“please advance the topic rather than take it to the personal level”
are not mutually exclusive.
Remember that “personal is political” thing?
Blog comments are not the blog. They are personal responses to the blog or to other bloggers. As such, this is a different voice, with a different intent: to reach out, to think outloud, to see where the ideas or responses fit. Much much much more fluid than the blog itself.
***
**
*
Hey Eric,
Regarding your suggestion about comment content, length or pertinence, I appreciate the clarification and outline. I’ve made some friends here thanks to this space and it’s also been great space to explore and share, even if slightly off topic I/we go. Thanks for allowing that space.
So if anyone would like my email, its huggingscorpio (at) bell (dot) net.
Cheers,
Daniel
Perhaps I should apologise first of all, I looked at my comment several times in the morning wondering if it was going to cause offence, and decided not each time – rightly or wrongly.
wandering’s first comment seemed independent of mine – that he is an independent guy and not one to be steam rolled.
Carrie has a big heart from what I’ve read.
I agree with Alexander that it is possible to project, and see the stresses we are carrying
Just reread your friend’s excerpt Eric and it is true she doesn’t say she is with the guy or that her power is the reason for her encounters.
I was moving too fast altogether yesterday and troubled by a story I heard about a couple.
I apologise
(that’s a lot of I’s)
pam
Absolutely spot on Eric. This point about self regulation and adult standards is core to it all and certainly avoiding so hogging the space that new commenters may feel it is either an off-topic love-in or a war zone.
I think most people probably forget just how un-moderated this site is and how incredibly rare such happens to be on the internet (due to precisely the issues you mention.. that most forum hosts usually moderate very stringently upon – actually having moderators policing in real time).
Thank you Eric.
I understand, Cara.
I am concerned that the tone of the discussion is such that new commenters are likely to feel ousted from the discussion, like there’s not even a small space for them. I have been holding off posting about this; I’ll say it here first, addressing certain participants.
When you comment, is this really something that you want thousands of people a day to read?
Is it appropriate to dominate the conversation?
Is it appropriate to post far more words than the blog itself, in a single day?
Does it make sense that anyone comes to Planet Waves for the open-minded approach to life and astrology, and then does precisely the opposite?
A forum discussion is a discussion like any other. I would ask participants to limit the length and frequency of their posts, to not dominate, and to be ON TOPIC. Most of the posts on this forum are addressed to other people — not the subject matter. There is plenty going on in the world to discuss. There are many angles on what we cover every day.
The standard for posting here is akin to what would be approved as a letter to the editor of a newspaper. There must be a focused idea, and the omission of personal attack, vitriol, judgment, and so on. Please be aware of when you’re doing this.
Nobody would want to read a daily astrology post that began with, “Martha, what you said yesterday was ridiculous.” Nobody wants to read a comment that says something like that either. Remember, you’re not writing in your notebook. You are writing to the same worldwide audience that I am.
I am requesting that participants self-moderate the discussion. Keep it topical, civil and please advance the topic rather than take it to the personal level.
Thank you.
I guess what I’m meaning to say is people were feeling offended (therefore perceiving as offensive), or if my word choice is not sufficiently precise, I mean that they were in negative reaction to the post. Not so much clearer, but anyway…
I would like to know the standard for “offensive,” including as a matter of perception. I heard a lot of anger coming from people that they were not owning as their own but projecting onto the person whose diary I posted.
Re “offensive” I would have to take down all of Planet Waves as something about it is perceived as offensive by someone somewhere: astrology, politics, sex, nudity, polyamory, any combination of the above.
IMO “offensive” is not a value in an adult conversation; I reserve the concept for concentration camps, genocide, etc. It’s one thing to say “I am offended” but that doesn’t make something objectively offensive, and we need to own our responses to what we perceive or this is not an adult conversation.
Dear Eric, I agree with you. For what it’s worth, I was saying her words were perceived as offensive. Not being a writer, I’m occasionally unintentionally ambiguous when I post. Oops.
Please stop making excuses Carrie. I have no problem whatsoever being understood on the Internet. Check yourself. How about you send me excerpts of your diary to post.
Thanks Len, your comment got me searching for more Rossetti! I do not have the words to describe what my heart encounters with his work. How lucky you are if you encountered Persephone in person.
and my [other] two cents: Lust is good. It changes everything.
Did anyone notice that the opposite of “have as she wishes” is “have as she doesn’t wish”?
Eric article on Venus was very beautiful, the Venusian spirit had well transcribed after the transit of Venus. I had the impression at the time of the new moon to be invaded a bath of universal love after inner shaking that I had lived in recent weeks, it was pure happiness internalized.
I had not yet experienced this phase of Venus, I took it as a blessing, the presence of an angel who watches over me…
“It is obvious the comments you quoted hit a nerve”
Exactly! YOUR nerve, Carrie.. and maybe Yeti’s.. There are separate issues here that are being conflated as projection. First, there is the radical self-honesty (that we have been granted the privilege of looking in on) and all the pain within that, courageously shared and second there is your pain, grounded in the aggregate weight of your grievous mistreatments at the hands of others who may have treated you like an object. The two expressions don’t amount to the same thing!
People build walls around pain; moral ones, intellectual ones and so forth. They then set up contracts that say “unless this or that expression satisfies me that it isn’t evidence of the reason for my types of pain then I am ‘calling bullshit'”. You can make this impregnable as your operating identity if you wish, but it IS judgmental in the extreme. The answer is to first recognise that your damage must be owned by you and made nobody else’s issue and second that your own healing can be found in your own radical self-honesty.
The metaphor which aptly deconstructs this narcissist/pyschopath shadow is recognising that while moral identity should be a part of human identity, it is not healthy for it to be exclusively so! Take lions with frighteningly powerful jaws and see how that capacity is used not just to snap windpipes but gently pick up young by the neck scruff and transport to a new location or jaws and claws used in mock play with no injury incurred. We all have a relationship to our own power and positive/negative potentials. Part of our humanity is to dramatise this in rituals, shared social rituals, sometimes in the bedroom as bondage or S&M rituals. If we are not to be unutterably alienated from ourselves then we have to stop oppressing ohrselves and others with our own pained projections… which keep us trapped and shut down. Nurture your own inner narcissist, Carrie. The rest of you will thank you for it!
Sorry to leave my nerves showing. It’s my stuff, not hers. Obviously. I can’t feel anyone’s heart but my own through this medium. If I could I don’t think I’d come off as brutal. Dogs and cats can attest. Still, your mileage may vary. I apologize for swinging my sword so carelessly.
“Some of these comments are brutal, judgmental and not in the spirit of what the person who wrote confided in me.”
A big part of that is because of this medium. We cannot know the whole context of those comments you quoted. It is obvious that the comments you quoted hit a nerve.
I cannot speak for anyone else but one of the things that I have been working through in these retrogrades is the bullshit people tell themselves in order to gratify some desire or whim while hurting others. I have been seeing that everywhere and it sucks. I get tired of people lying to themselves in order to play control games with other people. It has been done to me, my friends, my aquaintences and even cyber buddies and all of us who have felt it are fed up. As a society we have become inured to it to the point that when people do it, we cheer them on as though it is a good thing to be narcissistic (there’s that word again; seems to be popping up everywhere I look during these retrogrades). So when you write something which looks similar, I call it because if it is about that, why not call it?
Part of the social problems we have stem from no one saying anything when that kind of narcissistic bullshit is going on. It is the old “emperor is naked” issue and I see too many naked emperors prancing on people’s feelings while everyone praises them.
Here’s a great example of what harm is done when no one says anything and people get the message that they should just keep quiet when they think the control bullshit is going on: http://herbsandhags.blogspot.com/2012/06/how-i-became-rape-victim.html?spref=fb
Perhaps I am not the only one who has been on the shit end of someone’s control games; maybe others here who sound brutal feel like me so they call it too. Maybe this has hit a nerve?
When I find something someone did in the house that is a mistake, I start saying, loud enough for everyone to hear, that it was a mistake and why not to do it again. Inevitably, one of the kids will say “But I didn’t do it” to which I reply “Then I am not talking to you, am I?” If the original person who was saying that didn’t mean it that way then ignore the non-positive responses; they don’t apply to that person.
I set a lot higher standard for offensive.
Especially where sorting out sexual values is concerned. Of course, where sex is concerned, there’s always someone offended by the mere mention of the topic.
I think if you read through some of the comments below you will see why it’s difficult for anyone to open up about sex to very nearly anyone else.
Some of these comments are brutal, judgmental and not in the spirit of what the person who wrote confided in me.
I strongly suggest you check yourselves on that one.
Carrie, I want to respond to you on this too. What I heard was a person in pain and processing it out loud. I could be 100% off base, but how I received it was a sore heart needing to be heard, even if the words could be perceived as offensive, which indeed they were. Anyway, it just goes to showing me how we are all so much the same AND so different at the same time.
Yeti, your points are well taken, and no doubt we all have our hidden ugly. My take away was more in line with her showing us hers and how she is working with it. Pretty brave to put it out there so baldly in a public form. To answer your question, any reaction I might have to that proposal would be entirely dependent on the context. I might be offended, think you were ridiculous or joking and laugh in your face, be turned on, or be completely freaked out and call the police. Context. Again, my point of view only, your mileage will likely vary.
‘…the ‘me’ who knows what she wants, who owns her desire, who understands how sexually powerful she is, who knows that men want her & that she can have them as she wishes.’
Whoa. That’s not ok in my book.
Pam said:
“Surely, but if the guy is in a relationship that sounds like a power trip – just doing something because you can. We can all make or break relationships – your own as you like, but those of other people? Hmmm.
Oh but he was up for it. You too, in all circumstances? Equally possible to put your snowflake towards mending their relationship, helping them to communicate, or sharing your experience as a woman that might give him a clue about his wife etc etc (even if you only know one side).”
Yes, well said.
Wandering Yeti said:
“Personal power that ignores the power of others is the power of an idiot or a psychopath. “have them as she wishes” doesn’t include anything about the wishes of a partner. It’s just a woman objectifying her sex partner instead of the other way around. I hear it as a perception of a sex partner as a product that can be bought, stolen, sold or possessed, or given at will. What if I told you ” I’m a new man, I’m claiming my power and I’m full of Eros. I just want you to know that I’ll have you if I want you.”? How would you feel?”
Exactly. The original statement may be a person loving themselves and I get that but the rest f it sounds narcissistic and not at all healthy no matter who says it (male or female).
YVMV.
“Speaking as somebody with maybe one pony that has no trick of its own,”
Not so from my vantage point, Len. You have several tricks in your pony:
the gentle hand of compassion just when someone needs it
the optiimistic ray of light when it seems darkest
the ability to find things that are exactly spot on and which were not immediately obvious to others
the articulation and patience to teach what you know even as you share it
There are more but I am in need of water right now.
have them as she wishes…3rd person- telling someone else’s story.
I’ll have them as I wish…1st person- claiming personal power for good or ill.
To me the second one sounds more scary. I wouldn’t want to share sex with a woman who thinks a man is a thing she can have as she wishes. Nor would I want to be the one barfing that projection up on someone else. Consensual sex doesn’t take as it wishes.
But then she puts it in the 3rd person so maybe she’s not really claiming her power yet.
Personal power that ignores the power of others is the power of an idiot or a psychopath. “have them as she wishes” doesn’t include anything about the wishes of a partner. It’s just a woman objectifying her sex partner instead of the other way around. I hear it as a perception of a sex partner as a product that can be bought, stolen, sold or possessed, or given at will. What if I told you ” I’m a new man, I’m claiming my power and I’m full of Eros. I just want you to know that I’ll have you if I want you.”? How would you feel?
This process of Venus I him have well experienced, this property be inner selfconfident especially since the proximity of Jupiter to Venus. The appointment of Venus was home in the swaying of the House 1 and 2 in 12 of the solar revolution. Venus is the second master of the 12.
I live as a healing after having been confronted with inner demons. I have experience of the return, as returned in the footsteps of the crime. Recognize that the past was wiped out that more is required to hang up.
It is the sense of love to itself allowing the renaissance and not to look in the eyes of the other that it had not for oneself.
The transit of Venus is first not to seek was outside that is not in and of itself. Venus is a planet of beauty, of property, personal development and internal radiation… Venus of the fact of his Masters degree in fish can become a psychic sponge in the same way that Neptune and Jupiter it is lived to another level.
A Venus unfortunate, is a prisoner Venus in an inexplicable suffering, the absence of the given and receive is blocked and it is domestic frustration that takes control. At this point should be that man is more no contact with the outside world but also private link with his soul. I think that it is very rare to get this far.
It could describe all stages of Venus through the 12 signs… Venus planet of love, Venus without love the man loses his spiritual essence. Which has the formula that all the world knows: make love but not the war, the two coexistes. Venus without March could not exist and Mars without Venus…. it is the pepper of life that makes life in movement. March gives a reason to live on Venus and Venus the opportunity to March to relax before his next fight…
It is direct, I planned I promise you…. 🙂
Ah Yeti! History in common (father hate because I remind him of his mother – or more clearly, I probably remind him of his mother-in-him). I thank you for reminding me to continue working out the knots in my body – and in my home, as this releases so very very much crap.
Friend just drove me and sick,sick,sick kitty to the pound where she was put down. Tears streaming. Tears for 12 years of loving kitty; Midnight (beautiful jet black rescue cat). I am so grateful to her for spending time with us.
xo
I love the photo. Lucille’s face is classically beautiful; she reminds me of a medieval lady mixed with Greek goddess/mermaid, but with just a hint of goofy youth still present under the surface just ready underneath all that seriousness to break into a smile.
Ha, Be – I will thank you Now. 🙂
8 Leo is exact natal UranusRx match point to Sibley altho for me that 8Uranus is 2 degrees from AC at 11LE….opposing natal All at Once Phollus at 9 AQ.
That 8Leo moment trines transiting Uranus 4th of July exact on natal Moon/Eris at 8Aries.
The Pluto arm of Sibley yod is close to natal Mars at 12 Cap and Chyron has ridden my 8th house intercepted Sun for sometime now – yet It is Neptune who will be exact on said Sun on our country’s SR next Wed, – and with natal Pluto forever opposing him at 1Virgo Rx.
As always, I feel as though I’m somewhere out in front of the crowd, rowing a boat to I don’t know where but I sure hope my internal guidance system is “on”.
Any further head/heart/body clearing commentary is highly welcome!!
Yeti, re: your response to Pam’s post. That’s good news. The world would be a much more balanced place if we were all coming from that point of view. I didn’t read her post as an intent thing, so much as a discovering personal power thing. Internal vs. External. Maybe that’s just my take on it. YMMV, as always. Cheers.
“have them as she wishes” is the only part of the last statement I’m talking about. The rest is brilliant.
‘…the ‘me’ who knows what she wants, who owns her desire, who understands how sexually powerful she is, who knows that men want her & that she can have them as she wishes.’
Granted a lot of men can be utterly controlled by a sexually powerful woman, but women don’t have a monopoly on sexual power. This is a perception that arises from men who lock up their genitals and pretend to be invincible. Sorry, but I’m not someone you can just pick off a shelf and take home like a life-sized dildo. Since I know how to be happy when alone, since I know how to blow my own mind with self generated orgasms I’m not as easy to snare as men who think women have the sexual power they desire.
In Gemini I have Luna on the 1st degree and her south node on the next to last degree. Then there’s Saturn on the Northern Solstice point retrograde. One event that shows me astrology’s power is that the year my secondary progressed Saturn re-entered Gemini my parents got divorced and shortly thereafter a new step dad.
Step dad hated my dad and I think he was so verbally harsh on me because he saw my dad in me. In the tiny little tribe of the nuclear family as the older male of 2 boys I was the living representative of my dad in the house. He was suffering from mental illness, but part of my cognitive dissonance was the fact that this was hidden from me. I was led to believe my dad was a bad person, and then by sympathetic resonance to view everything I got from my relationship to my dad as bad stuff- I am bad.
This cognitive dissonance set up a storm in and around my heart that’s kept me re-living the emotional hells of 1984-7 since then. These eclipses in Gemini have arrived during a time when I’ve been softening up the edges of my qi blockages for awhile. A palpable sense of being in a liminal zone between who I was and what I’m about to become has been flickering on and off. The new self gets bigger, the relaxed root becomes stronger, the qi blockages crumble against its softness like sugar cubes dowsed with water.
Finding these blockages and dissolving them on the physical level removes the power cells that kept the nightmares going. Sure, talk therapy can help head brain figure some stuff out, but until the physical knots that provide a neurosis with its power are unwound head brain watches old dramas unfold unable to do anything to change the pattern other than notice it. That’s a good first step, but going directly for the power cells removes the power and then there’s nothing to fight, no mental puzzle in which you can get stuck, only clarity and energy.
Of course, your mileage may vary. Mars in Taurus, a Capricorn sun squared Chiron, Pluto, Vesta and Eris, conjunct Mercury, Juno, Mean Lunar Apogee Lilith, and Eros might make physical practices more important to my healing than some people who were maybe never beaten or yelled at. Maybe some people only need to talk their way out of their hells. I had so much anger I had to fight my way out. Dissolving the fight involves bringing it into the light. For that I need internal martial arts. Yoga didn’t get me there cause it dissed the fight rather than teaching me how to integrate and control it. Talk therapy couldn’t get me there cause I wouldn’t sit still long enough to talk to someone capable of talking me out of my dramas. Acupuncture, herbs and massage brought me to the threshold and on the talk plane my acupuncturist named my demon ‘resentment’, ‘repressed anger’, but only the internal awareness of my own body could bring me through the door.
Be – can I also thank you now? 😉
Whatever your personal Venus in Gemini experience has been and will be through July and for a week or so of August, if you are a citizen of the U.S. you should be aware that she is conjunct (one degree behind) the Sibly natal Uranus and progressed Uranus (to the degree). Natal Uranus sits near the cusp of the 7th house of equal partners but still in the 6th house of service and health. Natally, Uranus squares Piscean Ceres (conjunct Nessus) in the 3rd house, trines the Aquarian south node (the old and comfortable ways) in the 2nd house, and sextiles the Leonian north node (the path we should follow) in the 8th house. Venus is therefore activating, through Uranus, these areas symbolic of food, motherhood, earth, poisons, communications, children, neighbors, transportation (Ceres, Nessus, 3rd house), and habits, friends, groups, values, finances (Aquarian SN in the 2nd), and finally, personal creativity, courage, leadership and shared resources (Leo NN in the 8th), either in a challenging way (Ceres, Nessus, 3rd) or a non-challenging way (nodes).
Because Uranus is in his own right a volatile energy, that could be dicy for the U.S. in general but also for the citizens of this nation. That transiting Uranus also aspects natal Uranus by sextile from the natal 4th house, as well as transiting-stationing Venus, ups the voltage of this energy that much more. That transiting Uranus is also square transiting Pluto in an evolutionary struggle for increased consciousness puts transiting Venus (conjunct U.S. Uranus) in a very delicate position.
Lots of things hang in the balance, and balance will be difficult to achieve for any length of time. Especially for U.S. citizens and the U.S. government.
Transiting Pluto is in the U.S. Sibly 1st house of identity awareness. Therefore Pluto being Pluto, much of that identity will rise from the unconscious depths of the country, also harbored in the unconsciousness of its citizens. Transiting Uranus will challenge those buried identity issues raised by transiting Pluto, and the U.S. natal Uranus (in the 6th house of repair and healing) will facilitate that process. It is to be expected that, as we in the U.S. have aready witnessed, divisions will arise between people, individually and in groups, over the worthiness of many old concepts. Consider then the flexibility that Gemini supplies Venus as she clings to the volatile Uranus in the U.S. chart, both natally and progressed.
As the U.S. birthday (solar return) is only days away, it could help you evaluate your own relationships, with yourself and/or others, by realizing some clues that this year’s snapshot for the U.S. holds, as provided by the Solar Return Chart.
Venus of course, is conjunct the U.S. natal, progressed Uranus. This year’s SR birthday chart happens to have the four major points (asc, desc, MH, nadir) in exactly the same degrees as the U.S. natal chart of 1776. There is a message in that fact alone, which I think is something like a second chance to get it right. There is way too much to point out in this chart now, but consider these few points as they relate to natal Uranus and the historic square between trans. Uranus and Pluto.
The SR Mercury at 8 Leo is sextile the natal Uranus as well as conjunct the North Node of the U.S. Sibly chart. It was last year too. Didn’t we hear a lot of talk, read a lot and write a lot about ourselves? All about our values, hopes, discouragements and relationships. Well, yes, Leo IS dramatic, in order to be perceived and to make a point; but most of all to create. That Mercury is again, like last year is in yod formation with the sextile between Pluto who is digging up old identity issues, and Chiron in Pisces in the 3rd house. This Chiron in the SR U.S. chart is still about personal pain and the healing of same through the 3rd house activities of communicating. It stands in a square aspect to the natal Uranus in the 6th house of repair (and service) and is conjunct transiting Venus who loves him for the moment. This suggests that while Mercury in Leo will be expressing through shared resources (8th H) and working well with natal, progressed Uranus (conj SR Venus), at the same time SR Chiron in Pisces will continually badger the SR Venus in Gemini (conj U.S. Uranus) to assist in the process that the transiting Pluto square Uranus represents. Remember too, SR Chiron is conjunct the U.S. natal Nessus and Ceres. Confusing? This is a trickle down energy that will affect your personal life in some way if you live in this country. Venus is in a perfect place to help us all. She’s forgiving, loving, and for now, quite flexible in Gemini and quite influential through her relationships and through her recent twice-in-a-lifetime (if at all) transit of the Sun. She will add a little patience to an otherwise impatient U.S. Uranus, so take a bit of time to relax and consider these nuances between the old and new, personal and universal, aspects and symbols, which astrology is providing to the lucky few who can understand and therefore better survive the tumultous period we are going through. (You will thank me later!)
be
(This is my opinion, of course).
Len,
one talent can be composed of multiple underground streams.
Art expression ways are many – and all parallel. Like many languages that can express the same inner… expression.
It’s difficult to say this in English. I want to say that you have *one* talent, that is creative too, and that has many faces to it, just less apparent. Like painting and singing and dancing can flow in the same artwork.
(Hope it’s clear).
Pam, thanks for sharing that. I find some resonance in my own heart with your words.
Fe: Speaking as somebody with maybe one pony that has no trick of its own, i’m in awe at the breadth of your talent. Looking forward to seeing one of your paintings on Planet Waves (or somehow) in the future.
Eric: Thank you for a work of true beauty, seamlessly whole, beyond craft and into transcendent inspiration in service to healing. Many thanks as well for the wisdom of the friends you quoted which has also contributed to my own healing.
gwind: Thank you for stimulating from my own memory the experience of viewing Rossetti’s work (“Persephone” in particular) and precisely the same realization that no photograph of his paintings can convey what in-person viewing provides. Sympathetic connection.
Fe,
I’m so happy for you.
It’s been like this for me: “It can manifest as competing inner voices seeming to pull you in different directions. It can feel like equally poignant desires and the feeling of having to choose.” TG for therapy…even if it’s not something that can be rushed…
I saw Lucille and she brings me back to my favorite painting in the Delaware Art Museum, Rossetti’s, Lady Lilith. I used to stand and stare; following the fine intricate golden threads in her hair. No photo, at least that I have found through the years, captures the light of the original painting. That, in itself, is worth a trip to that particular museum. Lucille, you are so very, very lovely.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lady-Lilith.jpg
I’ve taken up painting again. It’s been over 10 years since I seriously picked up a brush and at least five since I was relaxed enough to even begin.
My niece said it best: sometimes you need pictures as well as words to express all that you feel, and how you process your experiences. I guess I should also add singing and cooking as well. After this last weekend, re-discovering that old tool, my paintbrush, I was able to feel all branches of the tree inside of me. Just waiting patiently for me to find the time to swing from them without judgement or self-edit, or fear of falling off.
‘…the ‘me’ who knows what she wants, who owns her desire, who understands how sexually powerful she is, who knows that men want her & that she can have them as she wishes.’
Surely, but if the guy is in a relationship that sounds like a power trip – just doing something because you can. We can all make or break relationships – your own as you like, but those of other people? Hmmm.
Oh but he was up for it. You too, in all circumstances? Equally possible to put your snowflake towards mending their relationship, helping them to communicate, or sharing your experience as a woman that might give him a clue about his wife etc etc (even if you only know one side).
I began to notice that when I acted with heart other paths would open, and when I didn’t act with heart paths would open but I couldn’t take them up, and when I looked really carefully you could see a link between the lack of heart and that block.
Thank you for today’s beautiful and moving piece, dear Eric – with the extracts from your friends’ letters, which illustrate so clearly the points you are making. Patience….yes. Look forward to tomorrow’s astrology on work and money. Venus changes direction and I have a four hour editing exam for a job I’m not even sure I want!(editing deadly boring UN technical reports). Love ya, Eric! xxx
Just when I think I have it together, that I’ve come so far, and healed so much, I realize I am in relationship with the empty space, the waiting and watching for the one who isn’t here yet.
When THIS is all I want: “However you go about it, the significant factor is that you embrace your relationship to yourself as your one truly lifelong partnership.”
I teach it. I just got caught not living it… who is this stranger in my skin? It’s high time we met… and fell in love.