Today is May 25. There are more than two kinds of dualism, but today with the Moon in Pisces and the Sun in Gemini, we have both of them expressed at the same time. I describe dualism in today’s podcast as looking for yourself everywhere. Sure, it’s about relating to others, divisions between others, night and day, black and white, body and soul and many other things we sort of take for granted, but really one of the most obvious forms of dualism is The Search.
Gemini — home of the Sun these days — presents us with a kind of black and white dualism. There are two twins in Gemini. They each represent something distinct, but seemingly separate. That much is obvious. There are two fish in Pisces, but they are connected; they are part of the same process. Their energy feeds one another. There is unity represented, rather than division or separation. Of course, Pisces comes at the end of the cycle and Gemini toward the beginning; there have been 12 stops on the journey before we get to Pisces. And by the time we get there, the journey has built up a lot of emotional sensitivity, which bubbles to the surface — especially when the Moon is hanging around.
Of today’s aspects, Amanda writes, “Meanwhile, back at the Pisces underwater ranch, the Moon will, in its travels, make a conjunction to the dwarf planet Ceres. Named after the Roman goddess of agriculture, Ceres does in fact have to do with food issues and Mother Earth. Building on yesterday’s theme in this space, this may be the perfect day to dream a little deeper about that idea for an aquaculture business you’ve been joking about for months. More likely, however, is that the Moon’s proximity to Ceres will bring up some veiled emotions you carry surrounding food and/or your mother”; in particular, mother-daughter relationships, which are related because she probably fed you quite a few times. “Cook your way through those feelings, paint your way through them or fuck your way through them — just remember to keep moving forward along with the Moon.”
Hm. well, today this little Pisces cooked, wrote, painted and fucked….partner in crime a Pisces moon. So except for not inviting my mom, I guess it was an astro kind of day.
xoxoxo! 🙂
wise??? you gotta be kidding me! ha!
no, I just was reporting my direct observations and the reality as I saw it. no doubt, I will call bullshit whenever I think I see it, just in case it is, and might be tripping others up.
like when I’m running really fast, and don’t see the bend in the trail and sail off the edge,
I WILL call out to my fellow trailblazers “watch it!!!!” so that they can be aware.
or after I crawl back up the side, I WILL put a sign up (like a stick with rocks and debris, not a litter-like sign) so hopefully others will think twice “Hey, that’s a dangerous fucking edge!” or Pay Attention.
not that they get it. but that’s not the point. for me. it’s the intention to help others.
someone who is wise, they I think know they are helping others. I’m too fucking random for that.
I’m the fool in the kitchen who throws spaghetti onto the ceiling. it might stick, it might not. it might stick and become forever glued to the wall, or it could come falling down at any moment. you never know. until you Know.
god, I’m loving this Gemini!
Carrie, you are a dear. love your writing. no, I wasn’t calling you old. heavens no!
and appreciate the Whoa! ha! the steed has left the building, long gone, left a couple of days ago, heading to check out those tornadoes. and the Maiden? on vacation. in Hawaii. looking into some healing herbs and rituals for the radiation fallout situation.
ah. so, here I am. with the rest of the flotsam and jetsam in my chart, which is kinda cool actually. there ARE other things besides Sun and Asc. true. re-acquainting myself with them.
for me, yesterday’s “Mom moment” has more to do with me and my relationship to making money, actually. or the lack thereof. or the lack of interest thereof. or the thing I keep tripping over, which is my “livelihood”, which is often linked to selling yourself rather than just being yourself. and compromises. and selling myself to my Mom. and compromising with my Mom (read: accepting her as she is, for what she IS able to give).
my Mom loves me very much, I know this, regardless of how she shows it (which gladly is more these days) but at the same time she feels a deep sorrow for me and she does think of me as a gypsy, a Lost Soul. and it’s hard for me when I go there, because it’s a place of not meeting expectations, not having anything to ‘show’ for myself, a lot of good stuff there….yes. and that’s just part of it. there are other things, as you can imagine.
many simultaneous truths going on, genuine concern as well as pure amazement that I keep on my own weird lonely (to her) Path. and yes, maybe a little well, I don’t want to say envy, or jealousy, because trust me, she would NOT want my life, but there is a quality I have she does admire…whatever it is. can’t put my finger on it.
not to mention all of this shit is just in my head. my Mom is perfect! just like Me! pure, conscious Love!!!!!
and Huffy, thanks for your comment, actually I consider it a compliment!! yes. the growing up part. how to do that in a True way. staying True to yourself I mean. personally, I can’t figure that out, and maybe am never meant to. there’s something about staying a wild child. or maybe it’s transforming to wild woman. hmm.
Amanda, loved your thoughts. thank you.
PW!!!! Love you!! the place where ragfolk can publish novellas..
deep gratitude again (bow to the Captain)
peace and Love and compassion Everyone!!
{{{{Amanda}}}} I hope this tension eases for you. I feel for you.
Today, reality calls and I can no longer wander in the stratosphere of my feelings. Laundry beckons, gardening calls, errands need doing, shopping (I hate shopping) needs doing, my kids clamor for attention. Mom (that’s me) has been mentally and emotionally “out” too long (about a week now). ::::sigh:::: I am the axle for the wheels that run this family and when I stopped turning, everything stopped and piled up.
So my heart is still up there but my feet are back on the ground. My body is a traitor meaning I am OTR again after only a two week reprieve (“the change” sucks).
I have to do some major driving this weekend to help my asshole dad move (he’s an asshole…trust me) and I am in no mood to deal with his bullshit. You know that “the gift that keeps on giving” saying? My dad is the wound that keeps on wounding. I am again at the point where I feel like moving him, disengaging myself from his affairs, and walking away. Staying engaged has been hurting me too much. It is like a slow bleed which hurts and won’t stop.
So I hear you about being open. I was open for a week but reality has dragged me back down and is feeling like a real ball and chain. My feelings are still intense and right on the surface but I now have no time to deal with them or indulge in their demands for introspection. So I am going easy on myself (and everyone else). It’s all I can do right now. Breathe……..
stellium —
but wait, aren’t you the wise former researcher/lab worker who used to set us all straight here on matters of scientific methods and bullshit??!
😉
traditionally, my child-like-ness has come out the way you describe: stuffing my nose into spring flowers as i walk by (*every* time), staring at the stars and falling in love with the spring peepers’ cacophonous chorus in the pond across the street from my parents’ house.
lately, i’m afraid, it’s more like childish rebellion and pushing back and a cacophonous inner chorus of, “but i don’t waaaaaannaaaaa! why can’t i….(X)? why can’t everyone else….(X)?
that, and the venus-mars conj everyone keeps heralding as “passionate” feels more like a lot of friction, fight, and pressure, with no where constructive to aim it all.
ugh. this too shall pass; i’ve had glimpses of relief last night and this morning. (breathing in the apple blossoms on the breeze, my window open so the air stirred me with the small bouquet of lily of the valley… perhaps spring has decided to arrive, after all)
(muttering to myself: stayopenstayopenstayopenstayopen….)
i’ve been feeling this one for a couple of weeks now, seems to be reflecting in every way for me, on all bodies. fucking it away reminded me of a song, and the youthful playfulness reminded me of a video… 🙂
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-aGTNS13SDU
Stellium,
Whoa there…I am certainly not “grown up” even though I sound old…it’s that Pisces sun of mine and Capricorn moon ya know. You sound wonderfully alive and in the moment and if that’s child-like then I am right there with you! These (my sun and moon) make me sound old but the child in me is also dealing with issues though more with my dad than with my mom.
I, too, am feeling and sounding juvenile these days. Yet after checking in with a few friends of mine; we are ALL feeling this way. Three other long time friends of mine have recently told me that they are feeling more alive, more aware of their feelings, more aware of the beautiful sky, the stars at night, the breeze on their faces, their sexuality, their loves.
I know I am feeling a huge insecurity about myself, my body, my age, my desirability which is weird because I have lost a lot of weight (though I now look like a wrinkly shar pei puppy who is still fat). Just as David and I are having a lot more sex (and hotter sex) I am feeling insecure…what is up with that? Why on earth isn’t having his attention enough for me these days? He is ever the most loving, responsive, attentive lover so it isn’t him and I made sure to tell him it isn’t him. The poor man; my mood swings, increased sex drive, insecurities, as well as my honesty about my feelings for another have made him willing to do things he normally would not do. That made me sad; I have upset him and I didn’t mean to or want to. His willingness to do things for me is so humbling and shattering; I feel like I don’t deserve his deep love. I want to hold him, protect him, heal the hurt I must have caused. I look up at the dark sky at night, filled with millions of stars, and I cannot but feel small. My friends keep telling me to stop apologizing for being assertive but I cannot seem to stop. I am not used to being given to…it is usually me doing the giving because giving is like breathing for me. When someone gives to me I cry and don’t know why they did that for me. Even small gifts overwhelm and touch me deeply.
All this insecurity and feelings of unworthiness don’t make any sense; I typically feel good about myself as a person. I know I am a good, kind, giving person. I know I am worthy yet each time I am given a gift, I feel intense gratitude and humility because the gift is sacred to me.
Thanks for this daily peek into the planets. That is a gift and I am deeply grateful for it every day.
Loved your reply Stellium. Reminded me of Catcher in the Rye… In fact true artists are deeply in touch with their ‘child’, so never knock that. At the same time I think most of us on this planet have a a lot of ‘growing up’ to do.
you’re SO right! been thinking about my mom a lot!
I’ve been almost frantic to talk to her, I really feel like I need
mothering right now. which is not an ordinary feeling for me.
anyway, I call her yesterday, no dice.
(turns out she was flying).
and then today! I miss her call.
but then finally get a hold of her. she’s down to business per usual, but still, it’s something, and we talk some details before she has to go.
somewhere along the line, but recently, I’ve been saying “love you!” before I hang up with her, and now, she says it too, which is really great AND sometimes she even says it when she leaves a message (!!). exciting!
I have to get my shit together tomorrow though, and call her back. I didn’t have any dates ready-whoops. gotta get on that.
*but* I learned that when I visit, there’s a place I can go skating! AND I’m going to be able to go to the fair (yeah!) and see all the animals…which is really really great. dancing all around the house about that one.
until I stepped into the shower and realized how juvenile this all sounds.
my life.
really, I AM just a child. get told that all the time, but it really struck me today.
so, all you adults out there, I am proud of you. you grew up!
something I- am absolutely incapable of.
really. I mean today I spent a lot of time drawing on my Converse low-tops. if that’s any clue. and digging holes with the Goof.
there is no hope for me, I’m not in your league you planetary geniuses!
all you brilliant PW peeps who accomplish your goals and then some!
I am humbled and have huge respect for you
thank you for trying to keep those of us who like to ponder the great outdoors (vs. accomplish anything- I might be the only one in that category on here) well informed about the world.
truly.
I do hope everyone has a lovely day today!
cook up a storm, it will be yummy!
once again, deep gratitude for the space to share,
peace.