Editor’s Note: If you want to experiment with tarot cards and don’t have any, we provide a free tarot spread generator using the Celtic Wings spread, which is based on the traditional Celtic Cross spread. This article explains how to use the spread. You can visit Sarah’s website here. –efc
By Sarah Taylor
Last week, we had what felt like a powerful Weekend Tarot Reading in the three cards that presented themselves to us, namely Strength, the Knight of Cups and The Tower. A week later, certain things seem to have crystallised in my sense of it, which I want to discuss briefly here.
First, the reading’s prevailing theme is about self-development and the bringing together of the opposites within us in relationship. When we start becoming conscious of aspects of ourselves that we had relegated to what Jung referred to as the shadow, there are almost certainly going to be developments in our outer world that reflect this. We acknowledge something in us; it is integrated into our consciousness; our world changes.
This change might be subtle and behind-the-scenes, it might come in a flash of lightning, or somewhere between the two. What is not in doubt, however, is that a structure or institution — in their broadest sense — has outlived its usefulness and needs to fall away. Remember: The Tower is about outdated structures and institutions. Something recognises this and is working on our behalf and opening our eyes to what is waiting to come in. (Have a look at a longer explanation of The Tower in an article I wrote in September last year: Death and The Tower: Good? Bad? Or valuable?)
In this reading, I wrote that I felt that it was about love — how we love ourselves, and how we love others. Self- and other-relating. However we choose to view it, all parties are released through the process: Two figures fall from the tower; no-one can be left behind. In the Xultun Tarot deck — which uses Mayan imagery and mythology — The Tower is called “The Released Man.” It might be constructive to bear that in mind if we feel the earth shaking around us.
And so, I have decided to hold back on a tarot reading this week for two reasons that are interlinked: First, the temptation when we draw a supposedly ‘negative’ card (and I don’t see The Tower as negative) is to cancel or mitigate it with more cards — in this case, another reading. That might help us to feel better (read ‘safer’), but it won’t change the circumstances, nor does it keep us present among them. The second reason: A reading with two strongly archetypal major arcana cards enclosing a card about questing for love asks us to give it space to work its magic in our lives. We don’t start considering rebuilding anything until the dust has settled.
And so, this week, if it feels right for you, I’m inviting you to revisit last week’s reading and sit with it for a while. What, if anything, does it mean for you? And remember: If you need support, ask for it. Most important: You have everything you need already if you look inside — as Eric wrote a few days ago, it all starts from there.
“So, no matter how much you talk, some relationships need to be completely uprooted in order for complete transformation to occur.”
definitely experience that a few years ago. wonderful person, great friendship, but were were soooooo stuck. and after the dust and tears cleared, i realized i was never going to get the parts of life moving that needed to move if we’d stayed bound in our imperfect comfort.
i have to admit though… right now, i’m one of the people thinking, “oh gee… i’m not sure i’m seeing the correlation in my life this time. does this mean i’m going to get blindsided? am i not seeing something? or is it even remotely possible i’m moving enough to keep things moving right now?”
haha Patti! You got it Pontiac! 😉
HS – nice insight into why sometimes, no matter how hard or how often you try and no matter how many clever ways you put it, no matter how you rationalise or beg to be heard, no matter how many meaningful metaphors and honeyed tones of voice you use, no matter how fucking smart or sensitive you think you are, talking it out doesn’t always work and can leave you in a deeper hole and up a shittier creek than when you started!
…just to add. Many people may ask me, Why didn’t you just communicate better to avoid the pain of the Tower. The answer is, I did. We did. But when you are dealing with a close relationship, one is dealing with deeply embedded components on both parts that is rooted in ideas of safety that Sarah descibes. Talking becomes a hypothetical ideal because it is still based on the current conditions. So, no matter how much you talk, some relationships need to be completely uprooted in order for complete transformation to occur.
“Perhaps many of us have been conditioned to relinquish power to a parental authority so that we have an idea of what it feels like to be safe, even if it holds us back. Perhaps a part of us has chosen to attach and invest itself in old stories in order to experience its opposite — in other words, so that it can experience the liberation…”
That is awesome Sarah, you’ve nailed it. Several years ago, I was in this precise situation. Looking back on the experience, I needed to be “bound” up in that situation because the full summation of that relationship needed to be brought to its release. The binding environment functioned to expose all the cracks, the shadows, the hidden resentments and dysfunctional patterns. But it also provided courage as I felt the build up of energy within my psyche, riding that wave of resurfacing commitment to myself. And when the Tower finally came crashing down, it became clear how bad the situation was. So, despite the power behind the Tower, it is the power of truth, honesty and clarity (as you describe), and I think that is a gift.
“Resurrection is the first drink I have every day.”
a beauty*full cheers to our daily renew*all.
thank you.
Thanks all. I think overall it’s better to take a sledgehammer to that wall/tower than to keep banging my head against it! And this really does speak to the need to evolve to help new archetypes and stories emerge. The most painful aspect of it is evolving away from those, sometimes dearly loved ones, that don’t ‘get it’, won’t get it, and who think that just because so much of it (it = the process, the problem, the possibilities) is invisible at the moment, that it is imaginary and not to be trusted. I’ve got my night goggles on… Sarah, agree re that pesky impetus to immediately rebuild (a personal fault I guess – one of so many! 😉 – I blame a childhood surrounded by Tinkertoys…). Courage all…
“But why is it so difficult to let go of the old stories? Why is it so difficult to accept responsibility and acknowledge our own role in creating/perpetuating suffering? Why do we insist on doing things the hard way?”
B.C. – I have no idea. Perhaps we are conditioned in some respects, and for whatever reasons, not to accept change well. Perhaps our ego fights change because by staying put somewhere familiar it gets to run the show and to feel alive in the process — whereas change can feel like death to the ego. Perhaps many of us have been conditioned to relinquish power to a parental authority so that we have an idea of what it feels like to be safe, even if it holds us back. Perhaps a part of us has chosen to attach and invest itself in old stories in order to experience its opposite — in other words, so that it can experience the liberation (the re-liberation) back into the spirit from which it came. If all-encompassing spirit cannot know itself by simply being what it is, then it can choose to experience itself by first knowing what it isn’t.
But who knows?
“When we look back, we become trapped in the past and in the stories we have told about ourselves and others. We create by stepping forward and evolving. It can feel terrifying, but I think the archetypes are asking us to change our idea about ourselves and to liberate ourselves from our stories. If we don’t, spirit will come in and assist us in learning to let go.”
YES! But why is it so difficult to let go of the old stories? Why is it so difficult to accept responsibility and acknowledge our own role in creating/perpetuating suffering? Why do we insist on doing things the hard way?
Sarah, I appreciate your honesty when you describe taking a sledgehammer to that wall. I know exactly what you mean! So many times I find myself wondering how long something will take to finally end or transform, or just get the hell out of the way! Perhaps you already wrote this (or others), but I wanted to share a small quote from Rachel Pollack in her chapter on the Tower: “By releasing that energy we get past the barriers of repression and open ourselves to the lightning. For the spirit exists all the time; it is we who are blind to it…We will see also that the release of energy carries its own dangers as the psyche tries to integrate it with the conscious awareness.” So, as you said, let the dust settle! A reminder to really allow the change to happen, to be aware of what needs changing in a way that flows forward, but not to push too hard.
Thanks Sarah, as always!
HS
rob44,
But you DO make one ounce of difference, probably many ounces of difference What you write and the way you write it touches others who don’t write so you can’t know you have helped them. Like today, the “compassionate tsunami” and the “earthquake quietly suggesting you move on” are pictures that fill me with understanding, put a smile on my face and give me knowledge that what I experience is similar in nature to what others experience. Thanks for sharing.
be
(((((Burning River))))) In fact, hugs all round. 🙂
One of the entries about the Released Man in the book written on the Xultun Tarot by Michael Owen stands out for me here: about the necessity to create alongside the archetypes, and not to look back. When we look back, we become trapped in the past and in the stories we have told about ourselves and others. We create by stepping forward and evolving. It can feel terrifying, but I think the archetypes are asking us to change our idea about ourselves and to liberate ourselves from our stories. If we don’t, spirit will come in and assist us in learning to let go.
Found out I wasn’t choking, I was sobbing.
patti–you said for me what I need to hear. So that I don’t feel so damned alone in the midst of so much and so many.
I am waiting so see how the reality of “i’m not getting what I want” will turn into “I am getting what I need.” and find a way to not only like it but love it. I think that is the goal of this. To surrender and to accept to the point of loving what I have accepted and surrendered to. Not there yet.
That riding a boat on the top of the tsunami wave, Sarah, is a good picture of how I felt several weeks ago. Now the boat has come to shore, with no cargo.
Rob–I am really working with the idea you have mentioned a couple of times of how the archetypes NEED us to evolve FOR them. Proserpina has been challenging me on this point.
((((((patti))))))
I have been talking in therapy over the past few weeks about a wall that I am aware that I have built in my life, the construction of which started in childhood. Behind it: well, who knows what’s behind it. But my sense of it has been that I cannot chip, chip, tap, tap away at it. I told my therapist that I wanted to take a sledgehammer to it; it felt like the only way. Perhaps The Tower is that sledgehammer, maybe spirit is working with me in this regard. It knows that chip-chip-tap-tap is ineffective. And after it falls? Maybe I don’t need to rebuild anything. Not on that particular footprint anyway.
Thanks Rob and all. I’m facing that metaphorical, symbolic death too. Is it OK to say I’m bloody terrified and that it gets harder to find the strength to keep rebuilding as you get older, that you question yourself more and have to dig deeper to find reasons and inspiration to write that story anew – or do I have to put on a calm, confident face (my usual Scorp persona) and a New Age wreath of stoicism? I don’t know where ‘on’ is either – or who ‘I’ am or what ‘it’ is or where it will fall. Loving the little pieces of the puzzle I am finding in these pages at the moment though…
Thank you, once again, all for your contributions to this article.
Rob – I am not out to reassure you when I say that we are all doing our best. I believe that, even in the face of all evidence to the contrary. The Tower can be unexpected; it can also be unexpectedly unexpected.
I, too, face my own tower. I’ve had it in readings before, and sometimes I face that tsunami standing on the shore, where it sweeps everything away. But sometimes, it is an almost imperceptible swell that shifts under my boat when I’m far out in the ocean perhaps changing my course in more subtle ways.
Dust still settling. Will update when I stop choking on the dust. Rob–very poignant–thanks for sharing–a lot of what you said resonates with me. Sarah how perfect of you to let the cards and us sit together a little while longer as we shake the wrinkles out. Pierced Shield/Released Man/The Tower with two bodies falling out–yeah. I need more time to focus. Amazing. Thanks.
xoxo
Rob, I appreciate your sense of humor, your clearly earned insight and the beauty of your honesty (I love in particular, your observed connection between Joseph and Jesus’ executioner). I do believe we form unseen alliances with our inner and outer antagonists. Sometimes it seems we all know exactly what we are doing. Sometimes I catch the big view and stagger at how tiny my feelings then seem. Yet it is all a matter of perspective, and the big view doesn’t make our individual experiences of pain (and joy in inflicting or receiving pain) any less poignant. Good luck to you, too. We will all get through this is some form or another.
I’ve been a fan of Anonymous 4 since discovering La Passion de Jeanne d’Arc, for which they provide the modern soundtrack, singing a gorgeous piece by Richard Einhorn called Voices of Light. This piece manages to evoke medieval religiosity and 20th century horror at the same time, finding common ground across the centuries in themes of persecution and martyrdom, and faith amid seemingly inexhaustible darkness.
Anyway, the film is one of my favorites and is riveting. It would be a good thing to revisit.
The appearance of The Tower has preceded some pretty heavy moments in my life–the death of loved ones; job loss; exile from community; misplaced Halloween candy.
Like most of your readings here, I know last week’s pertains to me, and what’s arising on the near horizon. I can’t honestly say that I feel prepared for what I intuit will be the latest manifestation of that card. But I don’t know how much I could feel prepared anyway, regardless of how it unfolds.
As we’re on the subject of divination and prophecy, I thought I’d share a story. Tonight I attended a vocal performance by a group called the Anonymous 4, a renowned a cappella women’s quartet specializing in sacred medieval chant. As I sat in the church pew absorbing the movements of their Latin polyphonies, my eyes wandered across the wall to my right. There I saw a carved rendering of the original Hanged Man: Christ being nailed to the cross.
What struck me about that icon, Number 11 of the Stations of the Cross in the Christian tradition, were two things: the facial features of the crucified Savior, which came across as not only resigned, but almost sanguine. And the visage of his crucifier, which seemed a study in calm attention; a look more akin to a skilled craftsman or practiced mortuary attendant than someone literally pinning a living man to an instrument of death.
They both looked as if they knew what was happening was meant to be, and so flowed into it without question, albeit with an underlying hue of sadness on the part of the prostate victim. And then, in the figure of the hammer-wielding man, I glimpsed to my surprise a subtle reflection of Joseph, Jesus’ father. A craftsman. A carpenter. A builder.
He called to mind the aspect of Kali as friend, and Shadow as messenger. But moreso of torturer as Deliverer. As in, “I’m only doing this for your own good.”
So much good gets done to us in this way its a wonder we’re not blessed beyond reckoning. Which, from a higher perspective, we are. Beyond reckoning. And so the Released Man, liberated from his earlier incarnation as a figure falling from a burning Tower, ascends to whatever comes next.
As I wrote in another post, the archetypes want desperately to evolve with us, but can only do so if we write new stories for them to live in. These days, I’ve been trying hard to write a new story for them, and myself, to live in. I don’t know if its enough. Enough to escape another wave of destruction from sweeping its way beneficently through my life, like some compassionate tsunami. Like an earthquake quietly suggesting I move on. Though the truth is, I don’t even know where “on” is anymore.
But as the vaguely sensed inevitability approaches, I pull out my quiver of dark-humored arrows, take aim against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, make not one ounce of difference in the face of the coming wave.
Have at me, deep waters. Release me. Lest that sounds like I tempt fate, I mean only to say that having died before, I know I can do it again. Resurrection is the first drink I have every day.
It’s not that I’ve done the best I can. In fact, I’ve avoided doing that most of my life. It’s that, knowing that I haven’t, I can’t expect the Shadow to spare me the lessons I asked for. Signed, sealed, delivered, their mine.
One day a Great Lake in the American Midwest whispered to me, “Your life is not your own.” I used to want to understand what that meant. Now I don’t ask for such answers. They were given before I was born. I’ve only agreed since then to pretend that I don’t get it. One way or the other, I’m-a be getting it now. Wish me luck, comrades, and I’ll do the same for you.
Sarah, I’ve been moving in and out of feelings around last week’s reading, especially since The Tower looked almost EXACTLY like a colored pencil drawing I had done days earlier of a challenge I’m facing – how to stay present in love when my adapted self wants to be withdrawing into my castle/prison and drawing up the moat, keeping my beloved at a distance with emotional crocodiles I’ve been installing in the moat, all the while secretly longing for him to “rescue” me.
An emotional week led to what felt like setting the castle/prison on fire and stepping into truthful statements of need and exposing fears – acts of courage that have called on strength I didn’t know I had – in the name of REAL love (loving myself).
Thanks for another look, the Ace of Wands reminds me that it’s coming like a gift from the beyond.
Absolutely the right intuitive decision, Sarah! I’ve been sitting with last week’s reading – especially thoughts of the tower – all week and it had many many layers. Sometimes less is more…