Editor’s Note: If you’re unfamiliar with Lemony Snicket, here is his wiki page. Check out the list of writers supporting the Occupy Movement.
Thirteen Observations made by Lemony Snicket while watching Occupy Wall Street from a Discreet Distance
1. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald.
2. “Fortune” is a word for having a lot of money and for having a lot of luck, but that does not mean the word has two definitions.
3. Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.
4. People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.
5. There may not be a reason to share your cake. It is, after all, yours. You probably baked it yourself, in an oven of your own construction with ingredients you harvested yourself. It may be possible to keep your entire cake while explaining to any nearby hungry people just how reasonable you are.
6. Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
7. Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.
8. Don’t ask yourself if something is fair. Ask someone else—a stranger in the street, for example.
9. People gathering in the streets feeling wronged tend to be loud, as it is difficult to make oneself heard on the other side of an impressive edifice.
10. It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
11. Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.
12. If you have a large crowd shouting outside your building, there might not be room for a safety net if you’re the one tumbling down when it collapses.
13. 99 percent is a very large percentage. For instance, easily 99 percent of people want a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and the occasional slice of cake for dessert. Surely an arrangement can be made with that niggling 1 percent who disagree.
Brendan, brilliant suggestions! My first response was-You (Brendan) should be PRESIDENT!-and then I LOL @myself! There’s that Savior mentality mentioned in the Zinn article! No, Brendan for President would probably not further the cause of the Constitutional Convention we need. Hmmmm…
Whatever, I want a Constitutional Convention on July 4. 2012! How do we qualify the delegates? 35 and under for starters?
Burning River,
Hmm, but what are we going to change constitution-wise? An amendment to define what “common good” means, as in the degree of the role of government in our lives? Perhaps a right to privacy amendment – which we have, but it is not concretely spelled out in the current constitution.
A big’un would be an amendment that actually defines only biological humans as individuals, and strictly limits the non-commercial role of corporations (as in no political presence allowed, no lobbying, no donations, zip, nada, nichts).
Here’s my last for now: no millionaires or lawyers may hold office at the federal level.
Whoops, I lied: a well-defined code of ethics for the Supreme Court – one violation and you will be removed from office forthwith with no pension or federal benefits. I’m thinking of Thomas here…
EFC: who do we work on about this?
Brendan! What an idea! Can you pass that on to those kids? What an AWESOME idea!
A national convention? Hmmm, might be time to schedule a constitutional convention, same time, same place in a more enlightened universe.
After all, it’s not up to the politicians alone to call for a constitutional convention, we the people can too. Where do we start, folks?
As to the lemon pound cake, I like it best with the sugar glazing on top. An ice tea with sugar and lemon would make it go down so well. 🙂
July 4, 2012! Whooo-hooo!
No joke:
Occupy Wall Street has set date for its national convention: July 4, 2012
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2011/10/18/1027740/-Occupy-Wall-Street-National-Convention?via=siderecent
Love that Lemony, but Rob got my LOL today :>)
Genius, this:
11. Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.
And oh so true.
fabulous!
there are some very clever people in the world! thank you for that, Eric & Co … makes me feel sure that we (99%ers) can do this.
I wonder how many of the niggling 1%ers are actually in the buildings “working” … my best guess is that they have found a way to shield themselves from the sights and sounds of the rabble.
lemony-pound cake …. a slice of that sounds really good.
mary
I imagine the 1% has issues with actually understanding Lemony Snicket’s take on the issues of the day, much less agree with him.
Some lemon pound cake please, thanks!
Lemony Snicket is right. I personally saw him fall repeatedly out of the same building in Harvard Yard one day, just to test his hypotheses on the ineffectiveness of tweed as a counter-force to gravity. Now that’s dedication to the scientific method. Go Lemony!
Oh I DO like Lemony Snicket! It is my favorite form of cake’n’eat it too!