Today is Thursday, Aug. 18, 2011. The Moon is in Aries all day. While there, it makes a conjunction to Eris, and the two of them trine retrograde Mercury. That’s a bit of a mouthful, emotionally speaking, but it is navigable. It can feel like alienation and fragmentation, given the placement in Aries. Applied to the Moon, it becomes ‘the postmodern mother’ – a bit deconstructed.
Does this describe at all your relationship to your own mother? Or how you see her in that role? You may be prompted to consider these questions further by another small, influential player in that mix. Nessus is in Aquarius, opposite Mercury and sextile the Moon-Eris conjunction. Mercury (which represents children) is picking up some dark energy, and beaming it out from Leo, which also represents children. You may encounter a playback of childhood trauma with this aspect.
The tricky thing is, you might not recognize it as such. Some of the buttons getting pushed in these days were set so long ago, and by those whom we so trusted as infallible, that we can’t see how old they are. The lover, the friend, the boss, the coworker may get upset or call us out, but in our reaction to that, how much emotion and self-judgment actually belongs to that encounter?
If you’re feeling unworthy, like you’ve failed, or defensive to the point of being unable to empathize, see how far you can get if you stop to parse that out. You may need help with that – the ear of a therapist or a particularly insightful and incisive friend, for instance. And you may not find the root at all this time. But if your attention has been called in that direction, you can still get as close as you can, from where you are. That is all any of us can do. So be gentle with yourself, recognize the tools you currently have and those you still need to search out in order to move forward. Mercury retrograde in Leo is all about this self-inquiry.
Today brings a bright boost of assistance, too. Mars in Cancer is sextile Jupiter in Taurus. This is a constructive relationship between earth and water. Emotional drive meets practicality. It’s a great day to get things done. With regard to anything you’re building or value – whether something tangible or the self-inquiry just mentioned — move toward the future one step at a time. As the saying goes, a journey of 1,000 miles begins with one step. Just say yes to something. Do something.
The emotional nature has been stirred up and activated by Mars’ interactions with Uranus-Pluto last week and his recent transition point with the Sun (moving from ‘new’ to ‘crescent’ phase). This emotional energy needs a container. Water has no shape of its own but takes on that of its surroundings. Jupiter in Taurus is here to restore forward-looking optimism and keep you from dwelling on the past. Yes, you need to investigate the past and reconcile with it, but growing means taking what you’ve learned and moving forward. So take a step in that direction. Anything that is optimistic, open ended and seeks more out of life will be supported today.
After you have taken this step, ask others to meet you there — or at least halfway. Be determined not to get pulled back into negativity and the past. If confronted by such from others, you can set a good example simply by telling people you are doing the next right thing for yourself.
This will serve you well as Mars is moving into a square with Saturn over the next week. When drive and desire meet the cosmic container, the tension could be maddening or it could be very productive. It’s a perfect example of an opportunity to use the square aspect as a fulcrum. Mars provides the drive to move the lever of your life. If you can use it to catapult yourself from one structural conception of your life to a new one, you may find the process exhilarating. Yes, this takes some embracing of a sense of risk – rather like taking a big leap off a rope swing into a river. You use the central point of the rope’s attachment to swing from the branch in the air (Saturn in Libra) out to moving water (Mars in Cancer). It may feel scary, but remember the danger is in forgetting to let go into the flow: hanging onto the rope may swing you into the shore or the tree trunk. Better to use the energy to land someplace new and welcoming of your becoming.
By Gary Caton and Amanda Painter, with Eric Francis
Notice and choose: in fresh horoscopes weekly and twice monthly, the current sky speaks through your Sun and rising signs. Eric unfolds the themes in Planet Waves subscriber edition and Planet Waves Light so you can notice your patterns and choose consciously.
“Parents are what we know of nurture/authority.”
I think I had seven years of that and then whammy, they divorced and everything went crazy. Oh sure, there was still “some” nurturing but it was very hit or miss and with a ton of bullshit religion (on my Dad’s side) and lying (on my Mom’s side) thrown in. It took me years (and I do mean YEARS) of therapy to find my footing and realize that I have felt abandoned by them both emotionally if not literally.
I did learn some good things about nurture but I also learned that there is within me a bigger heart than both of them.
If I remain within the integrity of my authentic self, I know I am doing well by myself, my family, and my parents. It isn’t easy by any means.
Meanwhile, I should have mentioned the ongoing mother daughter dynamic (I’m the mother)playing itself out; it looks like going in my favor – maybe. That’s a big maybe.
Where to start?!? This week has been such a mixture of fiasco, beginnings, endings, and cluster f*#^ks!
Since a new charger to replace the broken one was $30, I just went with a new phone including charger for $14.99. Trying to get a replacement auto insurance card for the missing one led to a computer fiasco of ridiculous proportions AND to being searched by MPs since the one I finally produced looked “suspicious”. Trying to be helpful to coworkers led to bruised egos and resentment directed toward me. And at the same time greatly successful moments continued to occur with regularity.
Although it requires a canceled family trip disappointing others, the sale of our house on Tuesday is a huge relief. And that doesn’t begin to cover the jam packed action of the past week!
Such interesting times we do live in!
It is an interesting day.
Got an email from MY dad this morning – he’s had my email address ( as has all my family) for years and years but never a message. Maybe he/they know that’s one more “family absence” that’s become OK with me over the years? Anyway – haven’t looked at it, he’s the first Gas Light Treatment giver in my/this life’s history and I’m not too keen on his intrusion in my home today.
But it sparked a conversation between my daughter and myself re: “forgiveness” and what that means to she and I – which caused some conversation on some trigger points built by both my day/her gpa and the x/her dad.
I am so curious as to what else this day will bring.
xo
A weaver — nifty photo, Amanda. You have an excellent eye.
Carrie, I can feel your resentment from here and … because I now find myself at swords point with my Dad’s widow of a handful of years … I totally relate. Trouble is, I’m mindful that unexpressed resentment can explode into road rage and worse. I think it’s best to deal with that before we deal with them.
Anyhow, newly exploring what Inquiring Minds want to know about parent/child relationships in the blogosphere, I ran across this today and it eased me some:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/melissa-lafsky/5-truths-about-your-paren_b_930216.html
Parents are what we know of nurture/authority. When I wake in the night wondering who, if anyone, holds the memories of my passages — and theirs — but me, I’m impressed with how “un-safe” it feels now, like walking a wire without a net. And that’s worsened by the state of our union and world, of course. To paraphrase Rummy, these are known unknows that scare the bejesus out of us when we’re looking outside of ourselves for safety.
So here’s my mantra of moment [and the last couple of years] from T. Golas — I hope it helps you today and brings us both new beginnings:
“Go beyond reason to love. It is safe. It is the only safety.”
Water has been speaking (to me) recently – thanks for bringing her into this conversation…..dreams have been FULL of what at first seems like mundane childhood experience – but upon waking/contemplation, I understand that these mundane events are exactly what shaped me, moreso than the events that I would otherwise remember.
And so – they are a gift; a gift of memory to touch, look at, then let go of, just like the rope – and see what that release will bring of the future.
xo
Oh… So need a cosmic freaking container!!!
Thanks for the insights and information.
I see my Dad today to get his blood work done. He wants me to give him a lot of cash; probably because he wants to buy more prescription drugs and hide them. He is still displaying addiction behaviors (asking me to hide his meds, wanting large sums of cash when the place he is in takes care of all his needs, asking for his car back when the doctors said not to let him drive). I have to remain firm and not give him that much money or give in to him; it is for his own sake.
There are tons of emotions surrounding our relationship but I am trying to be kind, to be firm, to do the right thing. It isn’t easy because I don’t like him that much; he is a hypocrite. He professes to be a Christian but he acts like a sneaky, lying, conniving, asshole. :::sigh::: So I go today with a heart wanting to help and be kind but with the knowledge that I have to be firm.
I also go with resentment; why am I the one who has to deal with him when he ignored me (and my kids!) for 27 years? Why can’t anyone else do it? Ah well. Perhaps the universe wants to teach me something.
Awesome! Thank you G. and A. and E.
I’m prepping to find somewhere and grab hold of some rope, swing it out over the water and p-lunge……;-)
Thanks for the heads up !