The Last Big Debate: Greetings from Long Island

Hellooo…it’s your old pal Eric Francis watching the debate with friends at Dominick’s Cafe in Kingston, New York…home of grandma’s Italian cooking…Rachel and Genevieve and Dominick are here; we’re in a kind of parlor between the restaurant and the hair salon that Dominick also owns. And we’re not really in Long Island, the debate is. Refresh this page for updates. And speaking of Herbie Hoover, here is Archie Bunker on Democrats.

==

Okay, John, to blame Freddie and Fannie is an oversimplification. This problem is about a lot more than mortgages. McCain looks so confused, I wouldn’t want him driving me someplace in a car.

==

Joe the Plumber, are you out there? Call my cell at 797-3359.

==

The plumber, the firefighter, the nurse, the sexworker, the Mona Vie salesman…we’re working for you.

==

I am already in agony from listening to John McCain’s voice. Can I watch this anywhere with captioning? Or translated into Esperanto?

==

Did anyone see the piece in the New York Times today about how the $700 billion bailout could cost as much as $2.25 trillion? “All told, the potential cost to the government of the latest bailout package comes to $2.25 trillion, triple the size of the original $700 billion rescue. . .”

==

The $3 million fucking projector in the planetarium. Again. Jesus Murphy.

==

Barack, thank you! Earmarks (pork barrel spending) are one half of one percent of the federal budget. They are talking about $18 billion in spending — which comes back to communities — when they are doling out $2.25 trillion to banks and mortgage companies?

==

Dominick says: reality check. We have to even mention whether torture is okay? We have to imply that the president of the United States is in favor of torture? And McCain “commendably” is against it.

==

Rachel says: So Obama is a terrorist because he didn’t want to do Town Hall meetings?

==

Rachel again: Is this couples’ counseling?

==

This is an interesting discussion, about negative ads. You might enjoy this Onion video.

==

This election is going to come down to language. These two guys speak two entirely different languages.

==

Obama is the ultimate Republicrat. I never thought I would say it, but I appreciate this. Wait! McCain is for a brighter future for America? I’M VOTING FOR HIM RIGHT NOW!

==

Sarah Palin was a member of the PTA. Clearly…

==

Sarah is a breast of fresh air…45 new nuclear pants…

==

John McCain, FUCK OFF

==

Here is the Wiki page on the moderator, Bob Schieffer. Speaking as a journalist myself, the guy is doing an extremely convincing imitation of a journalist. I can barely tell the difference…he’s even a Pisces.

==

I really wish Mr. Osama would shut up about drilling the Alaskan wilderness. We need some freakin’ windmills.

==

Time check — this has only been going on for 50 minutes. Just 40 minutes left. If I don’t update for a while, look for me on TheOnion.com

==

Aah McCain is accusing Obama of being soft on drilling. He said he would look at drilling. I guess that’s like seeing someone. You’re not really their boyfriend or girlfriend, it’s just a kind of flirtation.

==

Rachel: Ummmmm…Obama hasn’t traveled south of the border…McCain was born south of the border…and I add…he was born in Colon, Panama, which is NOT in the Canal Zone. In other words, McCain is NOT a natural citizen, as required by the Constitution.

==

McCain remembers Herbert Hoover?

==

Does he know that Hoover was a Republican?

==

JOE THE PLUMBER IS BACK. Clearly tonight he is Joe Jack Daniels…

==

Dominick adds: people who need health care don’t need tax credits because they don’t pay taxes. The people who can’t afford health care…don’t need a freakin’ tax credit. And it’s just a credit! You don’t get the whole $5,000, that is the amount of income you can deduct.

==

Democrats have been in power for two years? Ummmmm…there is a constructive Republican majority in the House and the Senate…because so many “Democrats” vote with the Republicans. Clearly, the Republicrats are in control…

==

THIS JUST IN — McCain is getting BIGTIME campaign donations from Sharpie. Or is that a signal? Twirling the pen?

==

We need to change the culture of America. Did McCain just say that? What exactly does he mean? What has that got to do with abortion?

==

Does anyone want a late-term abortion? Why is this even an issue? Why is settled Supreme Court case law an issue in a presidential election? Why don’t we talk about repealing the 13th Amendment?

==

The extreme pro abortion movement? Is that the same as the radical anti-fetus movement? What, Liberals?

==

Dominick says that there a million homeless children in America and 75% are thrown out of their homes because they are gay or lesbian. Thank you Fundamentalist Christian movement…

==

What? McCain is left handed? AAaahhhh finally a qualification for president. Has anyone ever noticed that all the passwords for Planet Waves Astrology News use only the left hand?

==

Genevieve: The cause of autism? Umm Monsanto chemicals?

==

Hey McCain seems like he had fun. What anti-anxiety drug did they have him on? Just three more minutes…and he can go to bed.

==

Now for my closing statement…

==

29 thoughts on “The Last Big Debate: Greetings from Long Island”

  1. The cheek thing is the site of the skin cancer — he gets a by for all his physical maladies as we all believe it was caused by his love of country. I figure he must be on some serious meds … if not, let’s hope he gets some stat. Lots of R&R in one of his many homes w/ his formerly drug-addicted wife. I want that for him … no stress, no responsibility, no heavy machinery.

    Marymack:

    My sister thinks the skin cancer is agent orange related. The man must be in alot of pain.

  2. How does Obama do it? Is it mars in virgo, maybe? He’s explaining the Ayers connection for the thousandth time with such care and deliberation. Were it me, I would lost it long ago. Nothing impresses me more than Obama’s ability to listen to “crazy” (noun and verb) in a respectful fashion. I so want that for me.

    As for McCain, last night he was far more engaged this go round but it wasn’t pretty watching him come up with a response in split screen next to cool Obama. While it’s good that McCain can keep up with the exchange, it was horrible to witness his shit-eating grin/grimace as he attempted a “got-cha”. In my mind, he looked mad, physically and mentally.

    The cheek thing is the site of the skin cancer — he gets a by for all his physical maladies as we all believe it was caused by his love of country. I figure he must be on some serious meds … if not, let’s hope he gets some stat. Lots of R&R in one of his many homes w/ his formerly drug-addicted wife. I want that for him … no stress, no responsibility, no heavy machinery.

  4. Word: “you listened, analyzed, thought and felt about the debate.”

    Um… I have to blame some of this on the 13-year-old, who brought Debate Bingo cards and made me play it with him during the debate. Hard to rant effectively when you have your ears peeled for five “Scars to Prove It” “Without Preconditions” and “I know how to”s in a row.

    But I guffahed out loud to hear you did enough heckling for both of us. McCanned’s what it looks like from this kitchen.

  5. re: the puffy cheek

    you all know that Botox use (repeated facial injections of nerve poison so close to the brain) is pretty much a direct link to Alzheimers?

    I wish I were joking…………but hey! He’s got Sarah to breast- um I mean back him up when he loses his mind……oh – that’s already happened………(both him having no brain AND it being Palin’s campaign -)

  6. Erratum:

    “The populist leader Jorge Gaitan, who was assassinated in 1946, bears a curious resemblance to the Golden One. ”

    Ummm… that should have been flipped around – it would be Obama who looks and feels like Gaitan (being dead and all makes it a bit difficult for JEG to resemble anyone). Jorge E. was darked-skinned, though the archival photos were whitewashed to make him appear less mulato. Anyway, the shared eloquence goes along with a certain physical grace embodied by both men.

  7. Ah, Mystes–
    One in a million you are; you listened, analyzed, thought and felt about the debate.

    I found myself in a conversation re: selective hearing with my 17-year-old post debate as the little ‘representative group’ spoke with Katie Kouric. I wish I were more surprised to listen to (the twisted ideas of) what some people think they heard said by OBwan and McCan’t.

    I, on the other hand, do not engage in selective hearing — I find it far more productive to simply heckle McCan’t from a distance (close up would be fine too, but his dogs would be on me in a moment and I’d be thrown in jail, tortured and imprisoned for years with no representation or trial).

  8. I found McCain’s insistence that Obama “visit” Colombia chilling, to say the least. I saw some very odd energy around that exhortation. McCain was in Bogota when Ingrid Betancourt was released, and part of my unease with the “new McCain” comes from rumors that he is deeply tied in to the Uribe government. Moreover, Obama’s focus on a reform of NAFTA (NORTH American Free Trade Agreement) has *nothing* to do with South America, which is under another series of trade pacts.

    Colombia has THE highest murder rate in the world: 1 in 160 die violently in Colombia, as compared to about 1 in 2800 here in the States.

    Obama mentioned the Congressional (both here and in Bogota) refusal to investigate the last three union-leaders’ murders in Colombia. That was interesting, a tip that Barack is paying attention that region — as well he should. The populist leader Jorge Gaitan, who was assassinated in 1946, bears a curious resemblance to the Golden One. It’s one of the reasons I haven’t worried that anyone will take Obama out. He’s on a completely different karmic track.

  9. I really shouldn’t have watched that! Quite painful.

    I’m thinkin’ breast of flesh scare.

    So Obama’s got to be the one this time around, but it’s down to you and I!

  13. It’s over . . I learned a lot. From you guys I learned a lot. AND I got the dishes done too. Thanks for making the last (thank you sweet Jesus) debate more bearable tonight.

  14. aword:

    Perfect analogy of the Joe Six Pack.

    Frankly, I had to keep myself nailed to the floor to watch, and I think McCain resorted to every last old tired Republican argument that’s been used for years against Democrats.

  15. ERic said: “What anti-anxiety drug did they have him on?”

    THAT explains the puffy-cheek……Valium despenser.

  17. MCan’t is going to find a cure for autism?

    LOL!!! American Public, read between the lines; what McCan’t just said is More Funding for “research” for Big Bad Pharmacutical Corps………….

  18. VOUCHERS DON’T WORK, I scream.

    Washington DC has some of the worst schools in the nation. “Voucher” is another name for “busing” and “broken educational system” and “socio-economic bigotry”.

  19. Anyone who can do simple math and has a little bit of experience with health insurance knows that McCan’ts “health care plan” is completely BS.

    I don’t think McPalin are in touch enough to know the stereotype that Joe Six-Pack refers to.
    ‘Cause in my world ‘Joe Six-Pack’ isn’t the guy watching the debates……he’s the guy yelling at his wife ’cause the debate is on instead of the game.

  22. Ohh, the eloquence of Senator Obama:

    McCain is great with adopting, he can do it and stash the kids in one of his 11 houses—-but what about taking care of all the at-risk children in the rest of the country whose education Republicans have ignored the last thirty years?

  23. Sarah is a breast of fresh air…45 new nuclear pants…..

    hahahahahaha!!!!!!

    I wonder if Sarah’s ever heard of Chernobyl?

    Or toxic levels of mercury in mandatory vaccines to our babies causing autism?

  25. I agree, Eric. They are speaking two different languages:

    LieSpeak and TruthSpeak.

    OldSpeak and NewSpeak.

    All the rest is cake frosting laced with Ex-lax.

    While I don’t agree with everything Obama proposes — the gap here is so great in that he does actually make proposals instead of just constantly trying to pile more bullshit onto the other candidate.

    I was pleased when he commented on this at one point earlier tonight; only sorry that his position (not getting down into the mud) he couldn’t sling a little in a well deserved direction.

    Hey – how come no one in the GOP has noticed McCain’s yellow teeth and had ’em whitened? Makes me think of the big-bad-wolf who ate grandma and tried to fool red riding hood.

  26. John:

    Hate to break it to ya, but I am paying $5,000 for two tooth replacements, and that’s with current health benefiot coverage. John, please lay down and take your nap.

  27. Time to do the PLanetwavews live blog of the debate!!

    So far, Barack seems to be talking like someone who has a plan versus McCain who is trying to go on the attack and looking like he’s close to seizure.

    And Eric–you and I heard the same thing. Sarah is a breast of fresh air!!

  29. You guys are too funny! I’m with you Eric, . .can’t stand to hear his voice for more than a minute or so (John’s); on the other hand. . thank you Barack for bringing it back to sane and sensible sentences (whenever you can).

    Think I’ll stick with the blog here. . . or maybe wash dishes, ’cause I’ll never make it through 1 1/2 hours of this debate!

Leave a Comment