Take It Or Leave It

By Judith Gayle | Political Waves

Through early morning fog I see
visions of the things to be
the pains that are withheld for me
I realize and I can see…

That suicide is painless
It brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

— Suicide Is Painless from the movie M.A.S.H.; lyrics by Johnny Mandel

I hope you’ll forgive me if this week’s piece has more sadness in the soul than fire in the belly. I’m not in the mood to rail against the slow progress of the ship of state, or howl in frustration at the Teflon-coated corporations that continue to exploit and victimize even as we stand up to them, or even to blast the short-sighted and self-serving for their destructive world view.

Wading through the news of the week is about as appealing as tuning in to reality television, which is not actual reality but an exercise in emotional manipulation. I’m just not up to it. I’m wrung out, emotionally-speaking. Perhaps you are as well, so let’s just touch gently on a few points, shall we?

This week, I’ll begin at the beginning. The tornado that hit Joplin on Sunday was still a fresh scream of pain and bewilderment on Monday in my part of the world. Joplin is close by, the last wide spot in the road before you hit Oklahoma, the place where our local PBS station broadcasts.

Six degrees of separation in Joplin dwindles down to one or two here in the Pea Patch. What was quickly exploited by national media as another horrific weather emergency quietly became an endurance test of grief and loss for locals.

Local coverage featured interviews with the frantic couple whose teenage son had graduated high school that day and was pulled through the sun roof of the family car by 200 mph winds. A teenage girl wouldn’t leave the parking lot of the Home Depot where her father was last seen, its concrete walls fallen in under a collapsed roof; later in the week, bodies were removed. That was followed by the tearful prayers of a couple looking for their toddler, swept out of their arms into the vast unknown of the jet stream; they solicited prayers that he would be found safe, not dropped but cradled by the ferocious winds and deposited safely in some field. His little body was found yesterday.

And the winds weren’t done yet. On Tuesday and Wednesday, tornadoes again scoured the Midwest, forcing a pregnant Oklahoma woman to huddle in her tub with three children under five. When her roof collapsed, she lost one to wind and one to severe injuries; the surviving child now joins her in critical condition. Leaving chaos in their wake, by Thursday the storms had moved on to the East coast. The clash of warm and cold air caused turbulent super cells exacerbated by seasonal wind sheer, defying local weather patterns and common wisdom. By the end of the week we’d seen tornado warnings in New York state and a sizable funnel touch down in the farmland of Chico, California.

Damage left behind by a twister is so complete it is hard to describe; it’s like the aftermath of war. Humanity has seen this kind of climate wreckage before, although we used to qualify these events by their rarity: the hundred-year flood or the storm of the century, that kind of thing. They’re not so rare anymore. The day after Christmas in 2004, we were stunned when a tsunami simply wiped away a portion of the planet and her people. Less than two years later, we watched, unbelieving, as New Orleans tore itself apart, a victim of wind and water, political greed and the neglect that accompanies racism. Since then these incidents come with disturbing regularity, leaving us lost in the sound bites that sensationalize and trivialize them. It’s almost as if they’re scheduled to keep us off balance, but that’s a topic for another day.

The sword of time will pierce our skins

It doesn’t hurt when it begins

But as it works its way on in

The pain grows stronger…watch it grin, but…

Suicide is painless

It brings on many changes

and I can take or leave it if I please.

We know that the Pubs aren’t interested in FEMA’s track record, given that agency’s performance under conservative leadership, but it’s still shocking to watch the Republican House hold emergency disaster funds hostage to politics. They finally approved a billion dollars in aid for Missouri this week in a deal to slash $1.5 billion from the Energy Department’s loan program for production of fuel-efficient vehicles. They must surely be pleased, reaping half-again what they gave away. You can almost hear their talking points to the faithful in that arrangement: “Fuel efficiency? Hippie pipe dreams, job-killing regulation and reckless spending!”

I have to wonder if Joplin — a city of dependable Republican votes — will notice that they aren’t valued in the GOP camp now that they’re dead weight. Clearly, Gram and Grampa aren’t getting their just due, either, with the entire GOP supporting the austere vision of their brave truth-teller, Paul Ryan. With few exceptions, those on the right of the political spectrum seem compelled to pull Gram and Gramps off the Social Security tit and make them responsible for their own health care in the future.

Although debt was of no concern for Bush’s two terms, today unborn generations must inherit a balanced budget even if those living in this one have to be plowed under, proving once again how enamored conservatives are with the mythology of the unborn. They do very well with non-people and future-citizens existing in their imaginations, but not so well with the flesh-and-blood ones that are here. I never hear real compassion from the GOP. I never hear about how they plan to help suffering citizens, or hope to grow in tolerance and vision or become agents of peace. I never feel life-giving energy from them. We can no longer afford this kind of mentality if we wish to survive the century.

Too harsh? I’ve heard worse from disgusted life-long Republicans who are vowing to vote Democratic for the first time ever. I’ve read article after article telling how Pubs are committing suicide with overreach, extremism and unyielding partisanship. I’ve seen poll after poll showing that the public supports public good over the welfare of corporations and banks. How, then, can Republicans double-down on their corporate loyalties and spit in the eye of their constituents? There are moments of change that come to us without warning; perhaps loyal Republicans in Joplin got one of those moments when their party threw them to the winds this week. Perhaps their radical delusions will guarantee a solid Dem win in 2012, but at what cost to us all?

Given Eric’s article concerning death on Friday, one has to wonder about the suicidal aspects of this conservative moment. I don’t understand what motivates them; it surely isn’t heart. At least, on this Memorial Day Weekend, we are spared their usual effusive patriotism. This is a holiday to honor and grieve the loss of our fallen, not to justify and enlarge their sacrifice for questionable geopolitical ends. We can honor the flag without wrapping ourselves in it. Nationalism must be leavened with humility; until we can do that in this nation, it’s best we stay clear of it.

A brave man once requested me
to answer questions that are key
‘is it to be or not to be’
and I replied ‘oh why ask me?’
‘Cause suicide is painless
it brings on many changes
and I can take or leave it if I please.

Channeling in the 1990s was prolific, and several items stand out in memory: that we would sacrifice our freedom to fear, that our borders would require the presence of armed guards and soldiers, that the higher-octave energies following the turn of the century would produce a mentally and emotionally unstable population. It all seemed improbable to me at the time, except the crazy part: it was easy to see crazy coming, especially with our dependence on prescription drugs that keep us sedated by the hundreds of millions. And as bad as the disasters we’ve seen, we’ve been spared some of the more dire earth changes projected at that time; some say they are no longer necessary since the lightworkers have shifted that energy over the last decades.

We are free to take or leave the various kinds of death and nihilism offered us, along with the fear and heartlessness that assail us from all around, ever present. But the suicide of old paradigm thought, of lovelessness and self-protection, is not why we came to this planet. Perhaps, like me, you have walked with the fear long enough to know it for the empty thing it is. Perhaps you’ve felt how love can erase that, how caring and compassion can change our experience and shift our consciousness.

The change we’re so afraid of is here, it’s been here a long while. We’re walking through it now, showering it with our love and tears, with our intention to heal ourselves and each other as we grow in personal power and understanding. We’ve come too far now to let a little pain stand in our way. If our sorrows have purpose, it’s to open our hearts to the love that leaves pain — and death — behind.