Despite the fact that every month is “Self-Awareness Month” at Planet Waves, May brings us a special reason to celebrate — courtesy of the folks at Good Vibrations and Dr. Joycelyn Elders. Today’s lead article urges us to take matters into our own hands (and hearts, minds, souls and bodies) in an effort to form whole, authentic relationships to ourselves — and then each other.
To purchase today’s issue individually, including this week’s horoscopes for all 12 signs, please click here. For those of you celebrating Beltane, a three-month subscription will take you to Lughnasadh, the next cross-quarter celebration in August — just click here.
Eric, Continued appreciation as you have written about masturbation for years tearing away at the culture’s cob webs of self denial.
I think with creative repetition and a spotlight you have given many people the reassurance that they have needed to find something new within themselves. I appreciate how through your journey you have stood up to criticism that your work focuses too much on sex. We are sexual beings and we cannot, no matter how much we try, separate our beingness from our existence.
Some of your finest writing has been in expressing the evolution of our sexuality. I hope that through those single sites you have mentioned, people find their way to your work.
I am not sure why, but the focus that was once placed on openness and sexuality has simmered down in the circles and atmosphere I once traveled. Maybe it is a age thing, but I do remember a time when most of my contacts were in the midst of great sexual expansion. I could have open discussions about ritualized masturbation, using focused sexual energy for manifestation, and clearing energy fields through masturbation. In other words, hotness and awareness of how life can be energized and appreciated in any given moment.
Thank you for reminding, also educating, people that masturbation is not a loser sport because one may not have a partner. Partnered or not, I center myself with the earth’s core and my presence within the universal heavens. Plus, it feels great and there for whenever I want it.
Maybe that is why is it so scary for people! It is there whenever we want it. oooooo. Too easy? You mean I deserve to feel good? You mean it doesn’t matter what I look, smell, act, or think like? I can love me?
God, do we ever suck at parenting. Life 101. Yes, honey it does feel good and it is ALL YOURS. Permission has to start somewhere. Be it for the child we are or the children we have.
Eric, in your honor, I shall take the top of each hour today with a quick rub off, even if it is just a moment or two to remind myself that it is still working. tee hee. Anyone that wants to join in, imagine the exponential healing power of saying yes to self loving.
Just a thought.
Stellium in Sag wrote: “but for me, the normal dating scene is Crazy Talk! I’m not getting naked for a ‘date’ and exchanging my energy, my fluids, a piece of my soul, my Temple, nothin’. those are my treasures. and therefore they are treasured. and following from that, I, personally don’t come into contact with very many people I would want to share that way with. ”
Word.
Here’s the thing, though. Sex-for-one doesn’t necessarily guarantee that one won’t get their energy field involved with someone else’s. You’ve got your sexual energy, your fantasizing, desire nature, etc. projected out there into the ethers. Other people are doing the same thing. I don’t think it happens all the time, but sometimes it’s like a “hook-up” takes place.
I remember the first time I realized this, a while back, shortly after my last relationship ended. I had a hot and heavy masturbation session including fantasy, one of the most vivid and “real” I’d ever had. It was almost as if the other person were actually there with me. After it was over, I immediately fell asleep. The next morning when I woke up, lo and behold, the guy was still there. Even before I opened my eyes, I had the feeling you get when someone is sleeping in the bed next to you. I was so startled, I immediately told him to leave, and he did. I got the impression he was just as startled as I was to find himself there.
I’m still not sure what to do about this kind of thing, except to set some energetic boundaries and have some intentions in place as to who (or the kind of energy that) can and cannot get through.
What you write about masturbation (in the longer, subscriber’s piece) is just AMAZING dear Eric, so very true! I’ve already written to you about discovering mastrubation at the grand old age of 43, after splitting up with my ex, and how liberating that was. What I was amazed to discover subsequently was how absolutely NONE of my female friends, relatives, acquaintances, etc. masturbated. Some of them (esp relatives) find it totally taboo, while others who are apparently so sexually open and uninhibited, seem to accept the fact that it exists, but always give wan smiles and say it’s not for them. Only last night I spoke to my dearest friend, who is going through a very tough time in her marriage, and has just discovered masturbation! She had the same reaction as I did – felt totally liberated by it, free from being dependent on a man to give her sexual pleasure. As the song goes “Sisters are doing it for themselves!”
Much love
Liz xx
wow. eerily silent on this post- I’ll bite!
I know that PW likes to take issues that have been simmering away on the back burner of society, if you will, and put them front & center. now, we all know they’ve always been there -despite some acting shocked that any cooking was going on at all. go ahead, take the lid off, take a whiff, hey, stick a chopstick in and even try a bite! you might like it-isn’t that the hope?
but what if some of us have been crafting five course meals for ourselves-for decades? what then?
so, first of all, I think I need to zzzzzzzzzing! get out of my little private Idaho so to speak. In my little private Idaho, Self-Awareness month is more like Self-Awareness Life.
and by that I mean,
I sex myself up. a taboo? are you kidding me? I take myself out on dates. on picnics even.
I mean are you serious that this person running this Singles movement blog wouldn’t or couldn’t talk about masturbation? are you kidding me? not being able to talk about it is at least some form of repression!
how are they taking care of business, and by that I mean, don’t they have a commitment to their health, to expression, to passion?
that’s not right. in my world. I can’t cannot!
now, I prob. need a little disclaimer here, and that would be*these are my ideas for me* I don’t presume to know what is good for someone else.
but for me, the normal dating scene is Crazy Talk! I’m not getting naked for a ‘date’ and exchanging my energy, my fluids, a piece of my soul, my Temple, nothin’. those are my treasures. and therefore they are treasured. and following from that, I, personally don’t come into contact with very many people I would want to share that way with.
and this DOES NOT mean I am prude, or not sexual, or any other name-calling shit. please. I’ve been having orgasms since like, two!!
it means I have standards, and yes, granted, I’m pretty picky. it’s come fr. a lot of different experience, and definitely some experiments.
oh well. good thing I love myself, & I love my own company!
I see you may be puzzled. you mean I would prefer to have conscious sex with myself rather than with a flesh-and-blood person you could touch?
99.0% yes.
hey call it Darwinism or what have you, I’ve had to perfect the system based upon my environment. ‘that’s not normal’. well, I won’t argue with you there, but after spending a lot of time doing weird shit with people in order to figure it all out, I can say I know myself.( I just erased something really graphic, prob. too much for here.) anyway, suffice it to say, I’ve seen a lot.
and really, I’m a very natural person.
masturbation seems pretty natural to me. my questions come fr. a completely diff. angle: I wonder if I could or even would want to have sex (meaning sexual intercourse) with another person – it’s practically inconceivable at this point. would they even compare to my fantasies or imaginings? to the relationship I have with myself? how is their health and their energy? do I want to be messing up my aura!? don’t know. interesting to think about. sometimes I wonder -what would be the next step? I mean, I’ve gotten to here, and I gotta say, it’s pretty good. don’t know the answer to that-I’m open to suggestions if the topic ever came up. and no, I’m not joking around, this is how it is.
anyway, some thoughts. I know all of these things I’ve said prob. sound v. strange. I’ve been told many times ‘I’m damaged’ ha! ( usually by people I don’t want to go home with), but I would ask for everyone to try and be open-minded. if you met me, you would see I’m really a nice person, independent, for sure, but I’m not a gargoyle or something. and really, I’m engaged in an honest relationship, it’s just with myself. that’s gotta count for something.
thanks Eric, for continually putting provocative, unusual perspectives out into the ethers, and letting everyone voice their viewpoints, if they so choose.
if there’s one thing I do know, is that I can’t be the only one out there who identifies with what I am saying, whether they write in or not.
peace.
~oh, and one more thing; if anyone can tap into my psychic code and share in my inner world of desire, by all means, be my guest. I know that I’ve been at the grocery store, watching a film, or been in the middle of photo assignment and have tapped into yours ~
mmmmm…facebook.
mmmm….clam fights…..
This is not Facebook. You will not start a clam fight.
ps, u’r most welcome —
Bravo Bravo Eric!
I will finally take this moment to express my gratitude for your writings on the topics of sexuality and relationships.
I have lately decided that there are 4 main food groups: The Monogs, The Polies, The “Onelies” and The “Nonelies” (my own play on words as there is also an asexual movement afoot:http://www.asexuality.org).
I am currently endeavoring a transit between these groups. One thing I’ve decided is that all the groups should acknowledge and respect each other. The more we respect and share, the more we learn. Time to scrap the caste system…especially since dysfunction/lack of awareness can and does roost anywhere and everywhere.
Thank you, Eric, for sharing your very valuable thoughts and experience. They continue to be helpful to me on my transit.
peace and thanks!
student disclaimer:
My 4 groups are a simplification indulged to make a quick point.