Is this Really the Time to Talk about the Apocalypse?

By Fe Bongolan

I’ve been putting this off for three months, but I think today the time has come. There was an article I found in the political blogosphere last January about a new actual date for the Rapture. Scheduled to occur May 21, 2011 believers in Jesus will be carried into heaven, while the rest of humanity will endure 153 days of unspeakable suffering before the world ends six months later on October 21.

Harold Camping, the originator of this year’s Rapture date, is adamant.  “I know it’s absolutely true, because the Bible is always absolutely true. If I were not faithful that would mean that I’m a hypocrite.”

Camping has predicted previous doomsdays, the last time being September 4, 1994. This year however, he made sure he did not misread Biblical codes or be in so much of a hurry to get out the information in time to save souls of current and potential believers. He is affirmed in his conviction of the May 21st date as the official start for Doomsday.

Personally, I have nothing against Jesus. Great world teachers are worthy of our praise and emulation. But when we start taking them to extreme, out of context and away from the realm of moderation, then we have a problem. Mr. Camping comes from a long line of Puritan believers, some of whom settled this country in the 17th century to escape an impending Doomsday in Mother England. Now correct me if I’m wrong, but wasn’t it these same Puritans who also tortured and killed bright, sensitive and intelligent women in the 17th century as well?

You have to admit, the scheduling of the Apocalypse during National Masturbation Month makes me VERY suspicious. It’s just so typical of Puritan types to blow up a perfectly good 31 days of fun. I am rather ticked off about it.

We have already been through a lot since January 2011. You might say, we’ve had more than our share of actual apocalyptic events over the last five months than we’ve had in a decade. Maybe two. Revolutions in the Middle East, the human tragedies from nation-shattering earthquakes, tornadoes, tsunamis and let’s face it, Donald Trump’s presidential campaign — that’s a heavy load  for anyone to bear. Citizens of this planet are already in the midst of massive change and upheaval. We are going through a lot of history in a short amount of time. Perhaps we all need a little feeling of release that spring provides instead of crouching in fear from impending catastrophe — also known as “judgment anxiety” — real or imagined.

In California, the sun is out and it’s in the low 70s. Every tree is in full and the hills covered in wildflowers. Life is stirring everywhere — between our fingertips and our legs. Instead of being on our knees praying for forgiveness, maybe God, who lives in every molecule of the living world, wants us to enjoy every minute of every day and the physical form we have been given with all its parts. God is in nipples, clitoris, penis and testicles, and God, as I can definitely attest, is definitely in the vagina.

So to conclude, because I really want to take a walk in the sun, Fe-911 has a little advice for you this first day of May: go out and “May” yourself silly.

Be the opposite of doom. Be the epitome of life. Feel the sun, the cool water, the incredible roses that are now at their sweetest fragrance, and the heightening glory of the sunlit days lasting long past the time of sunset. Catastrophes are real, they actually have happened, and we have already lived and survived through them. We are still here, and very much alive. Enjoy this new month, by yourself, or with others. In ones, twos or threes or more. Its not the Bible’s calculus that predicts the world’s end, its our refusal to honor the sacred duty of living. So love this life and the body you’ve got to experience it.

And really and truly, happy May Day!