We are now up to Aquarius comments for Cosmic Confidential: A Future Investigation. As you’ve been reading, this is the place to put your reflections on the astrology you’ve lived through in late 2008 and 2009 or, if you don’t know the astrology, to add your comments.
Much of the focus this year has been in Aquarius — the quadruple conjunction of Jupiter, Chiron, Nessus and Neptune is still working out, and it reached its first peak in April and May (the second peak is coming in December, as Jupiter makes conjunctions to Chiron and then Neptune).
This is the first annual where I am polling the public for news about its experiences and astrological insights in order to weave them into the annual edition, which offers extended length horoscopes for all the signs, We have begun offering Cosmic Confidential to our pre-subscriber readers. Here is the link. Subscribers are eligible to purchase at a significant discount — as much as half-off the price to the public (which is absolutely worth it — each sign takes me about 12 to 18 hours to create, and there is lots of good astrology information available nowhere else, in particular this year’s section on key life transits.
Subscribers received a special offer today — please check your inbox.
Onward, Aquarius — and thank you for your valuable contributions.
cosmicsigns
PS: very interested to discover the influence of the rulers of Aquarius in oppositions, if perhaps that is the influence responsible for the system changes in the sign, more so that the triple conjuctions that we read so much about or the Saturn-Pluto square.
Signed, Curious in Pennsylvania
P.S. Eric – I know you know you were right, but I just have to hit it home because I was so amazed. When you did an astrology consultation session for me in June of 2009 you mentioned that when Saturn changed signs and Saturn Squared Pluto I would suddenly get direction. Like I was just drifting along and then all of a sudden I had direction and focus. At the time I wasn’t certain how this would all happen since things had been so drifting and unfocused for so long, and it seemed like a long shot that I would get direction so quickly. But, you were right!! Within a matter a weeks at the end of October/beginning of November all of a sudden I just changed. It was like all the work and growth I had down suddenly clicked into place! Anyway, just wanted to say what an amazing astrologer you are, and how right you were!! 🙂 Thank you for doing what you do and helping us all make sense of this crazy thing we call life!
Len – beautiful and thought provoking post that is laced with wisdom!
“Am i always successful? No, some days are better than others.”
Awareness definitely doesn’t equal success. Just because one is aware, some days we succeed some days we don’t. But, I think operating from a place of awareness is it’s own kind of success and reward.
Even though the last two years were so hard for me, I feel very blessed that the Universe refused to give up kicking my ass until I became aware and consciously changed my life at the young age of 26. The hardest roads really can be the greatest of blessings! 🙂
All depends on how i look at it.
On the one hand, i’m 56 with nothing material to show for it, living paycheck to paycheck, never knowing how long that paycheck will last, never quite able to get completely out of debt. Teeth not good, no budget for pearly whites. No partner, live alone. Every Friday finds me having built up another sleep deficit. “My feet are my only carriage (thanks and apologies, Bob, for those words), so i’ve got to push on through”.
So, how is it, on the other hand, that often i feel like the luckiest man on Earth? Well, for one thing i have the chance to serve and really understand the concept of service. As an itenerant daily astrology writer for Planet Waves, i lose sleep and gain enthusiasm not felt since youth. As a Reiki teacher i learn from and am healed by my students. No money from those things, but as my own Reiki master once asked me “how can one request money in return for that which is without price”?
As one who lives hand to mouth i waste little and make the best of what i have. Living alone i have found freedom, peace and time to study. Walking miles to job and back puts me in touch with the sky, the ground, the seasons and my body. Good friends far away are still good friends. So many have shown me so much kindness and generousity, such tolerance and trust. Sure, there are those who probably find me replusive, anethema, rediculous – i shall proudly be known by what and who they are as well as what and who i am.
The work started on myself with my Chiron return (consciously changing my life for the first time in my life) is starting to pay off as the Saturn return approaches.
Aware that in a moment, at any given moment, i could CHOOSE to submit to anxiety, indulge avoidance, invite fear in the door, permit myself to be depressed, let myself go, has motivated me to keep my face towards the light, so that i can do some good for others with what is left of my life. Am i always successful? No, some days are better than others. Anger and self regulation of my behavior are issues. Sometimes i’m petty, other times self-centered, yet other times stuck. Most of the time, at least, i’m aware of it. Most of the time, however, i am able to take resposibility. Most of the time, sooner rather than later, i’m able to pull my head out of my anterior orifice and get on with it.
So, it all depends on how i look at it. Here’s to looking up, here’s to looking ahead. My life depends on it, dagnabbit. Hope this all has been useful.
Offered In Service,
Excited it’s my turn!! I’m a Pisces Sun (21 deg), Aquarius Moon (26 deg), Aquarius rising (19 deg) and Ceres in Aquarius (5 deg). There will probably be quite a lot of overlap between my Aquarius post and my Pisces post – but I will try to differentiate between what I experienced as an Aquarian and what I experienced as a Piscean. So much has happened and so much change has occurred in my life that this post may get quite long. Sorry for the length, I just don’t know how to begin to skim the surface of the last year and a half.
From June 2007-the present I’ve been undergoing a series of great change and rewiring to my personality framework. I have questioned the things I love, the people I love and the who I am at the very core. In 2007/2008 I was receiving data but I wasn’t processing it. I didn’t understand what I was getting from the Universe, I wasn’t truly aware and seeing what the Universe was trying to show me. I didn’t know where to even begin to start looking for answers. The Universe was trying to teach me about firm, healthy, clear boundaries; balance in relationships; authentic communication; owning my experiences; embracing who I am and my strong sexuality; letting go of any attempt to control; the energies at play inside each of us and in the Universe; owning my power; and how to be a creative force in my life.
The process you could say started back in June 2007. I came home from traveling the world to find my brother suicidal and I began a relationship then with someone who I connected with on the deepest of levels but who had his own deep wounds he needed to heal before he could begin to understand how to be a healthy partner (and I had my own journey to go on). Both events turned my world upside, were not healthy, but forced me to change and grow into the amazing person I am today. They were the beginning of the path that I have been on. My brother got help in September of 2007 after 2 attempts to take his life; I didn’t finally address the damage this had done and heal from this experience until this year. The relationship I was in ended very quickly (began in June and ended in September), then began again in April 2008. I won’t go into all the details to save space but there were a lot of wounds this guys gave me from manipulation, dishonesty and him not taking responsibility for his actions. At this time I was too afraid to have an honest conversation with him and I never set good healthy boundaries for myself. With this guy there was always a sense of uncertainty and urgency to make the relationship stronger, as if it was very fragile and the smallest move would shatter it. I was deeply terrified of failing and not getting the result I wanted – which was being together. In the end I had to accept the “failure” to be true to myself. I had to come to terms with and make peace with the failure of the relationship. I learned that the world doesn’t end because something you wanted with every fiber of your being doesn’t succeed and that just because bad/hurtful things happen the world does end and life won’t be endlessly horrible. In fact, life can still turn around and be pretty good and I became a stronger person for it.
In 2009, I began to actually process and understand the data I was receiving from the Universe, I was actually seeing with another level of being (this may be my Piscean side coming into play), I gained awareness and I understood what was coming in. What seem to trigger this was in January 2009 I hit rock bottom from the terrible relationship that I was in. I woke up one day and realized my soul was dying (already mostly dead), my heart was already broken in a thousand piece and I was no longer living my life instead just trying to simply exist each day in hopes that at some unknown time in the future I would be a happy and alive person again. I felt like I had lost myself and I set out on a journey to refind myself. Really what I was doing was shedding the old-outdated model of myself, learning the lessons I needed to learn, growing into the new me and solidifying those fragmented pieces into a strong, new powerful me. I ended the romantic relationship which had started me on this journey, but at this point was hindering my growth and sought out help from an Energy/Spiritual healer who taught me how energy works and how to work with and tune into my energy and the energy in the Universe. Then in May of 2009 I found astrology and Planet Waves, which has helped me understand the astrological energies at work in the Universe, how to work with those energies, and also has helped me transition into new, more aware ways of relating.
As this year progressed I learned to state my truth, be authentic (being truthful with myself about my feelings and needs and stating those to the people around me), and not worry about losing my tribe for being 100% me (those that are good for me will stay and those that don’t fit me will fall away). End of May 2009 (which if I remember right was around the time of the Chiron-Juptier-Neptune conjunction that was conjunt my Moon) I began a very healing relationship where I learned how to have very scary discussions and dialogues without any fear but just holding space for compassion, understanding and healing. I was able to heal from the previous relationship, heal from the wounds from when my brother was suicidal and heal from childhood wounds that were deep in the recesses of my psyche. I grew into an authentic communicator, and to communicate not from a place of fear but from a place of objectivity, compassion and holding space for the other person to also be present and authentic.
This year has also been about both exploring and owning my Aquarian individualism and owning my core need for a strong sense of community (friends and family). What began in 2008 and culminated in 2009 was a stripping away of my outdated sense of who I was as an individual, outdated relationships and the community I called my friends. Who I was and my friends didn’t really function very well most of this year – my identity was fragmented, I couldn’t quite grasp who I was (maybe that Neptune in Aquarius was making it all murky), I was very polarized with my strengths and weaknesses coming into glaring focus, I lost all passion for the activities and hobbies I loved, and my large group of friends really weren’t stepping up and being a strong and reliable part of my life. It was very frustrating to say the least and at times I felt like I was one step away from losing everything. It was forcing me to really find out who I was, to grow and to become comfortable with constant growth, change and instability. I learned the tools I need to become friends with a certain level of instability that I know will continue for probably many more years.
With the Chiron triple conjunction I gained so much awareness about myself and the Universe (especially the energetic Universe). Also my personality framework changed and a lot of my emotion, needs and patterns changed (possibly due to already one conjunction of the triple conjunction on my Moon). Many of my emotions, needs and patterns went from being subconscious to conscious and then the Universe, through relationships, asked me to change them to better fit the newly developing me. I learned to let go of trying to control people and the Universe and instead use creative energy, my own energy and the energies that are occurring astrologically to create the kind of life I want and know I deserve.
Beginning in October and then taking off when Saturn changed signs and Squared Pluto it felt like I snapped around a corner and snapped into focus. I feel solid (no more fragmentation; it’s like the fragmented pieces of me came together and locked into place to form me), strong in who I am, owning my life, I feel like I have found my power, I feel focused; and reliable and dedicated friends who follow through have come out of the woodwork (now that I have changed the community, which I learned through my journey is very important to me, has adjusted to better fit the new me). I love the things I am passionate about and for the first time in a long time I don’t feel like I am just floating, but that I am moving in a direction with purpose and the ability to be a creative force in my life. It’s like the system pre-Saturn in Libra was dysfunctional and when Saturn changed signs the system started functioning. I think a big part of this was ALL the work I had been doing learning the lessons I needed to learn and shedding the skins I need to shed got me to this new life.
I am a completely different person now than before Saturn opposed my Sun and I’m sure effected my Aquarian ascendant and Moon. I’ve come fully into my being – owning my power, owning myself, owning my experience of life, owning my relationships – by being aware and standing in my truth and being the creative force in my life. I have let go of old, outdated modes of relating to others and myself and formed new, more aware ones. I have shed what was the societal and parental version of myself and I have discovered the true me underneath and all the potential I have.
More to follow with my Piscean post……
Forgot to add that with Chiron-Neptune conjunct, clairaudient frequencies have been quite clear. Folks with whom I am attuned seem to be there when I need them and with exactly the right thing.
another 47 year old, with 6 planets in aquarius. similar circumstances to cmassy.
‘we are put upon this earth a little space, so that we may learn to bear the beams of love’ William Blake.
There is a warmth that comes when I find a group like this, esp. all these Aquarians … god bless us every one.
There isn’t much left here except this connection I have to core and that to source. Like cmassy, I’ve lost just about everything, relationships, jobs, family, my pooch and I’m left breathing in and out and finding the glory in the smallest things, this moment for one.
I’ve got Sun @ 25 Aqua and Mercury/Ascending @ 21 and I’m overthemoon with the newly direct motion of chi-jup-tune. The past New Moon occurred degrees from my natal Moon and I’m feeling the tides turn. Oh, yeah, this is my Chiron return w/ natal Chiron @ 1 Aquarius.
mm.
21 Jan. Aqua Sun and Saturn
Capricorn Mercury , Leo Mars, Scorpio Asc. Venus Conj. Moon in Sag.
Small moves and then BAM! 🙂
In October 2008 I went to India for 4 months of meditative retreat. A slowly building urge to step fully into my power crested in January, returned from India on my birthday and proceeded to strip my old life away; career, unnecessary belongings, moved house, arranged a loan, left the city, moved into the stillness of the Karoo here in SA and created the space for sharing something which had been bubbling in me and maturing. Am now writing, in the flow and blessed at the shift into center.
It feels like I’ve come home to who I really am. It’s been a big, beautiful year 🙂
Also my rising sign is Libra.
Sum it up in a word since Jan 2008, life has been constant chaos and incompleteness on anything.
Any attempt to regain balance (not even progress) has been a micro term victory as something else hits from somewhere else.
nat aq, Mars Aq,Sat Aq.
I assume a lot of the chaos is to do with Pluto raking over my IC during that time – also my angles are all within 1 deg of the cardinal points.
Fun times not. Feel completely exhausted and drowning and sometimes it looks attractive to slip below the waves… Sick of fighting to stay afloat.
Caught me on a bad moment – something that occured jan- mar 2008 and that was finally starting to heal has just started to come unpicked again and I don’t know whether I can cope with it happening all over again.
I forgot to mention, i have Sun, Venus, Mars and my rising sign in Aquarius.
I decided in late 2008 to get sober, move away from my birthplace and family, and return to school after 20 years. All of these things have had a huge impact on my life. In thinking back (and reading journals) to how i felt in March when i was deciding what school to attend, i was really scared about the changes, and the future. Since I moved in August it has been one long sigh of relief as much of the fear, and self-doubt is being peeled away. This is happening as I spend time teaching and working in the studio, and I am starting to wonder what I was afraid of all of those 43 years. It’s as if a veil has been lifted. I still have many questions, but I am no longer riddled with large doses of anxiety.
In the buildup to the Jupiter/Neptune/Chiron conjunction in the spring, there was a period of deep self-examination and reflection. The second JNC conjunction in the summer was externalized and very strained.
My birthday this year (February 9) coincided with a lunar eclipse / full moon in my 6th house which seems to have had a major effect on my day to day existence. Before this event, I very much had a daily routine. Ever since then, it’s as though my life has been pattern-averse. There’s no such thing as a daily routine anymore. Every day brings something new and has a different flow of events.
The Saturn/Uranus opposition has brought certain political themes into sharp relief: generational change, structural problems in the government (like the Senate filibuster), and the extent to which Beltway culture is rigged to favor the right even when they’re out of power.
Saturn in Virgo has been relatively unobtrusive for me, certainly compared to Saturn in Leo. I have a lot of Virgo friends who were affected by it, so I’m by no means blind to its effects. Saturn moving into Libra heralds my first Saturn return. I’m starting to feel the effects, but also feel as though I’m handling it really well so far. Awareness of the nature of this transit gives me the power to navigate it successfully.
Pluto in Capricorn has not had that strong of an effect personally, at least not yet. But I think a lot of the apocalyptic fears floating around in the wider culture may be associated with this transit. At the same time, there’s a part of me that hopes Pluto kicks the living shit out of our civilization’s large institutions: the banks, big media, the corrupt institutions of government, and so forth. 2012 won’t be the end of the world, but right now I wouldn’t mind terribly if it brought about the end of the US Senate (which probably would seem like the end of the world for some people).
As we move toward the end of the year, I would say that I have a lot on my plate over the next six weeks…more than I have had at any other point this year. No matter what happens in the wider world, I’m going to be very very busy.
I’m on my fourth year of my Chiron return, which has amplified my 12th House Sun so much I can finally say that I truly feel like an Aquarian, instead of just thinking I’m one.
I’ve been feeling my reality and potential equally, and getting to “see” myself, with warts and all, and not making such a big deal about it, worrying about who to please, or worried about pleasing in general–this is a nice breakthrough for me.
It feels like there’s alot less to lose, and therefore, I’m venturing outward. This last year or so I’ve found myself really taking big steps forward in assuming control over what I want to do with my life, versus what I’ve had to do. There is a mashup: The things I have to do to survive and the things I want to do to really thrive. Before, the thrive area was the place where I went to keep sane. Now its the place I plan to be at in my foreseeable future.
That includes developing my writing for the stage and here and for relationships on my terms instead of vying for a relationship for the sake of satisfying “the model”. Loving the independence I have in my life and tuning out the noise that made me guilty for having it, and truly enjoying the role of wiser woman in the lives of the young people around me.
I’m a little worried, as I always am, about money, but that comes with the territory of living in the late 00’s. What is left is the road ahead and its saying invention, renovate, and renew–the bits and pieces of my life into a cohesive whole to finally make sense, or continue to do so, to be of help to my siblibng and her kids, and to really care for someone else. All of these issues have been surrounded by a fear of failure that held me back from enjoying what I was. Now, there’s no other choice. I am going to be with me for the rest of the thrill ride.
Thanks bro, for the forum. Hope I was clear in providing a facet of life as an Aqueeribus…
Well it’s about time. I’ve been waiting here patiently.
I don’t know exactly how to describe how devastating the past 3 years have been for me. Since Saturn in Leo, most everything in my life that constitutes “my life” (job, relationships, money) has all gone. I haven’t had a full time job since 2006; I was unemployed for an entire 12 months and I now work part-time; I haven’t been in a relationship (and/or had sex) in 5 years; I’ve been sleeping on a friend’s couch in his apartment; I’ve sold off almost all of my possessions. Oh, and I’m 47.
For a perspective on my chart, I have no less than 4 planets in Aquarius (1-26-62) with AC 29 Leo, Uranus 29 Leo, and North Node 18 Leo.
These past 3 years, I’ve truly learned how to live one day at a time. I have very little attachment to money or friends or possessions because they’re gone. I haven’t made a long term plan that goes beyond a week in over 3 years. I’ve honestly never been so scared or lost or lonely in my adult life. I really have no idea where I’m going; I’m just living and “feeling” for each day without “thinking” about it because there’s really nothing more to think about.
I’ve learned not to “think” or “analyze” situations. What I have learned to do is “accept,” “feel” and “live” in the moment. Bad, uncertain times…