Good evening. From the political to the personal to the more deeply personal, it’s now time for Scorpios to add their piece to the discussion of recent life events, growth, relationships and the creative experience of life. People with Scorpio as a Sun or rising sign are invited to comment, even if you’ve commented before; and let’s leave it open to those with a strong Scorpio signature in your chart — for example, a stellium that you can track transits to.
Even if you’re not familiar with the astrological level of the conversation, I would ask those who have this Sun or rising sign to add your comments, questions and thoughts.
I’ve been reading the previous signs carefully and the information is authentically useful. As most of you know, I’m working on Cosmic Confidential: A Future Investigation, the 2010 annual edition of Planet Waves.
cosmicsigns
The past year has been a year of inner conflicts, struggles, a lot of learning, albeit the hard way. Sometimes, I wish I was not so intense and passionate about everything in life, taking things so seriously. There are so many who don’t and they seem to be fine with it, why can’t I? And yet, I wouldn’t choose to be any other way either.
I have been through a roller-coaster of trying to figure out what is right and what is wrong, of living through a pretty-much one-sided deep emotional attachment where I have only given, of wondering why these things happen, of wondering or trying to figure out why I have felt this way and what I could have done or can do about it. In general, life has been a constant struggle, and I do have this feeling that both my husband and I as Scorpios have had to work harder than the rest for the same things. No, things are not as depressing as they sound, but what is going on deep inside is a process of delving, dealing with and deciphering life itself.
Late to the party, but thought I would like to add a bit to the conversation. On 12/24/2008, my sister (Scorpio sun, Scorpio rising, Scorpio mercury) came to live with me. (Scorpio sun, Sag rising, Libra mercury, Cancer moon). This past year has been an exploration of boundaries, of levels of commitment, of adjusting to two rather strong willed individuals in a household that also held a young Capricorn with a Scorpio moon, just ready to fly. The conversation and motion of this house has been to redefine what is important in each of our lives, and to make room for each other’s truths, without too much compromise, and without attempting to crush the paradoxes that are not only in the combination, but within each of us. Praised, adored, fought, cursed — love is cement. Despite dire predictions from friends on all sides, the partnership experiment endures, and is stronger now than a year ago.
# patti.t16
Wow I can identify, I’m lucky in that I have a job with little stress (growing perennials) people I see daily are great. We have our frictions here and there but overall harmony , respect far exceeds egos. I’m greatful for this because my problems which I can relate to all that you mention above are in the home , with my husband.
I’m put great effort into trying to think before I speak due to many reasons other than what you have stated above. I too have a keen intuition and was always able to read in people the unspoken although my accuracy improves in proportion to the clarity I have within. In my younger years projection was infused to a larger degree than it is today for now I know to look for it and consider it when forming what I’m picking up.
One of the things that I’m trying to work on now is not reacting to how others receive me as well as what I say. I have always tripped all over myself verbally , also felt awkward due to picking up energy that doesn’t belong to me , my intention and who I am doesn’t need to be explained , how others percieve me is not my responsibility , their misperception belongs to their projection and although I can feel it I am learning to not respond to something that I have not caused and this is hard because it has been a knee jerk reaction that I wasn’t aware of the dynamic just assumed I was responsible. This has caused me to be uncomfortable way more than I need to be.
The interpertations of Having Neptune right on the Asc seem to invite this tendancy from others and in unawareness I used to cultivate it.
Its made grounding my sense of self identity of what is me , mine and what is not and stand strong in self an ongoing process but I have made great progress and although it took great pain I feel it’s worth ten times more.. Its so much freer all around this is set straight and is clear within.
Hey Eric ,
I’m a Scorpio Rising with Virgo sun and I have been riding this wave of change since 1994 but major action really began to happen in 2000 and has gained momentum with each passing year. At first this overhaul was very difficult if there are even words to describe the experience of having the foundation of what i thought was my life completely stripped leaving an abyss.
The reality of all the space left and finding that all distractions that crowded up this space for most of my life failed in one way of or another with most of them becoming stale and dry.
In this large amount of space I was faced with a glaring look at this “self” this me that I was or wasn’t.
This was the most uncomfortable , strange and bizzare place to be because I began to realise that what I thought was a solid life , a concept of a “me” was nothing but smoke. This discovery frightened me adding fear to the already unpleasent state I was experiencing. This lasted with no let up and at times increasing in intensity and the duration was far more longer than I ever anticipated. I eventually abandoned my hope of regaining normality or something other than this bereft state finally surrendering to it my mind being exhausted.
This has not been easy but I can conrfidently write that it’s the BEST thing that has ever happened to me.
My life prior to this was lived unconcious in that 70 percent of choices , actions and thoughts were motivated by feelings of shame , guilt coloring thoughts that dictated my reality. I lived believing that in order to be loved I needed to sacrifice my being and my life was illusion only I was completely unaware of this and would have remained so because I wouldn’t have chosen to endure the above . In my unawareness I couldn’t have ever orchestrated this process.
I know its a Grace that guides us to a fuller life for which there is insistance that we be present, aware of fully being. For what is the point of life without self awareness ?
This process continues within and without me and hard times continue but I look for the lesson, try and relax into the mystery which dispels the fear.
A week or two ago, I added to the comment section for Libra, as a Libra Sun. I also have Scorpio rising, and though I am not sure what sign the following fits best with, I thought I’d put it here.
This is in response to Eric’s second shout out to Libra and Scorpio.
One thing I am noticing lately is the way I can be challenged in relation to stress and things that begin to feel overwhelming. I value putting my heart into what I do, and care about value and quality. Sometimes though I feel I may take it too seriously (like creating catering platters for the bakery I work for) and don’t allow “lightness and ease” to come into what I do. My heart begins to feel very drained and like energy is seeping out of there; my personal energy field begins to alter. Then a whole range of things begin to feel incredibly stressful instead of just one.
How to keep some of the riches of life (opportunities, new experiences) as “life giving” experiences vs stressful ones. How can we keep things in perspective and our energies in balance and enlivened? For me, the stress seems to layer on and around my heart since it’s one of the main places I orient from.
Thanks,
Sara
I’m Scorpio (Mercury, Mars and Neptune also in Scorpio), Capricorn rising, Saturn is also sitting on my ascendant which potentially gives me a double whammy but I am told my Saturn is well aspected. Virgo moon, conjunct Pluto. Venus also in Virgo.
I don’t know if my contribution is any help but here goes. To say this has been a difficult year would be an understatement. In fact the last several years have been characterised by chaos (internal and external) but this year it all seemed to come into focus. Without going into crazy detail the issue seems to be about walking that dynamic line between the individual and the group. But also it is about power and power structures and where I fit in with those, where I derive my own power from and how it is projected into the world, and how others perceive it. Also whether I have the courage to say what I know, value what I know and what I believe and what my ‘freakish intuition‘(as it has been called) tells me, and stand up to the inevitable slings and arrows that this seems to attract. I work with a lot of very powerful people many of whom are either stern paternal dictators or whom (perhaps worse) overpower and manipulate by ‘charm’ and sheer force of personality. It’s this kind of abuse and manipulation of power that I am finding more and more difficult to deal with. In particular it leaves very little room for others to grow and reach their own potential and the way I see it the more of us who reach our full potential the better chance we all have for survival.
For me personally it is about stepping outside of the reflected glory of others – and the way that my talents sometimes get used (get given over by me) to facilitate that, rather than facilitate my own processes. The questions I am wrestling with are: Where do I belong if I step outside these structures? Who am I, what have I got to offer, do I accept others view of me as being ‘difficult’ when I assert myself when I know from 50 years of life that the intuitions that inform me and are such an integral part of how I ’see’ the world, are almost inevitably ‘right’ (if sometimes ahead of their time and therefore unwelcome)? My role in groups seems often to be the one who says what everyone thinks but no one says and I have been so attacked for it lately that I have begun to tell myself to just shut up and keep to myself – such is the need for some protection and a bit of peace. And yet when I do I feel gagged and incomplete because my natural inclination is to participate and (at least sometimes) lead. And yet if I lead is it inevitable that I become like those powerful people whom I am having such difficulties with now? It’s been a time of more questions than answers!!
It’s all been about relationships and the chaos has been so intense that there have been moments when I’ve found myself mediating on, say, the difficulties in my love relationship and I feel the boundaries blurring between that and my work relationships and family relationships. It’s just the same story with different almost interchangeable characters. It has taken Herculean effort to stay grounded and conscious, to try (and often fail) to let go of the need to control or have some idea of outcomes in order to feel secure. I can see now how this kills curiosity and joy and living in the moment – even if the moment truly SUCKS. There’s got to be light at the end of this tunnel – right?
As a Sun Sign Scorpio and also with a stellium in Scorpio, I have to agree with Ketchup 1….. Since Feb.2007, my life has taken a shocking downturn…starting with the unexpected death of my only brother ( by suicide ) in Feb 2007. But, in many ways, I have become closer to my own Spirit through these last 2 1/2 years…..Guess that is the paradox of Scorpio…..so much loss and letting go on the way to Transformation and Transcendence.
OK, I don’t fit in here … please forgive me for taking up space where I don’t belong but I wanted to throw in, if I could, a quick note. I am a Scorpio Moon/Saturn?Juno so I err on the side of truly/madly/deeply 🙂
This Ophiuchus issue … would anyone with a good working knowledge of astrology and psychology sign on to the notion that there are some later degree Scorpios with a strong Ophiuchus signature?
I’ll hang up now and listen for a reply. 🙂
mm,
When I wrote in as an Aries Sun, I focussed on work, and I touched on the career aspect as Saturn in Virgo crossed my mid-heaven three times (!!!!). Now I am reporting in as a Scorpio rising (with Pluto squared from the ninth house) and I get to talk about so much more. When Saturn entered Virgo in September 2007 I was five months into my first year after initiation into the priesthood of a traditional African religion, and I was having doubts. Not so much about my ceremony, but about my temple and those in leadership. Saturn was, at this point, still in my ninth house. I was hearing too much about divine entities being insulted by lack of respect on the part of those who sat with their backs to the icons, about divine punishment to those who insult their spiritual elders by questioning them, and attempting to maintain some personal boundaries. I knew this for what it was; I just did not expect to find it there. The Almighty Creator (who I believe wholeheartedly does exist) could not possibly care whether or not I think I have enough money to pay for a first class plane ticket, and if S/He is omnipresent, then it is impossible for one to be in anyplace where one’s back is to Them. The following July things got even more interesting, and Independence Day gained new significance for me as I resigned following several unpleasant and illuminating experiences centered around that long weekend. Since then I have had several experiences that suggest, to paraphrase Shakespeare, that “There are more things in Heaven and Earth that are dreamt of in my philosophy”. That is, and probably ever shall be, a work in progress.
Work, I have touched on. Career is moving in a new direction, but will still be education and personal empowerment.
Love and relationships are both intertwined in spirituality. After my ceremonies ending my year, I struck up a relationship with a man who, on paper, was just about everything I wanted. You know how women make lists of what we are looking for in a partner? This man was most of what I wanted in a partner. He is brilliant, well educated (BA and MS), accomplished in his field, has adult children that he raised, is well traveled, health conscious, adores my son in a healthy way, is delightfully sexual, and is not afraid of my spiritual practice. All of these are very important to me. He is also working for world change everyday as he is an organic urban farmer. I thought he was perfect. And he is (as are we all), but he’s not perfect for me. We became lovers just as Saturn was within a 1 degree orb of his descendent and just past his sun, and within a 3 degree orb of my MC. The term is used loosely here because ours was not a loving relationship or one imbued with mutual affection, respect, or regard. It was a sixth house relationship, and I was the one doing the vast majority (perhaps all) of the giving and the serving. I ended the sexual part of the relationship this past August right as Saturn was firmly 2 degrees inside of my tenth house and 4 degrees inside of his seventh. This was the third pass of Saturn over these two points in our charts and I know I learned quite a bit about personal boundaries and my willingness to ignore mine. Not a particularly pleasant lesson, but a necessary one.
I am now feeling my way into another relationship with a man who on the surface has less of what I want in a man with whom I could consider a long term committed relationship, but with whom the mutual love, respect, regard, affection, and desire are present in abundance. He is not a college graduate, and does not earn much money, but he is divorced and the father of adult children. He is brilliant, but doesn’t believe it as he is a late bloomer. He is sufficiently sensual and sexual (probably more than sufficiently) and seems to harbor few inhibitions. It would be easy to interest him in Tantric Sex (one of my interests). He is also accomplished in his field. He is a very religious and spiritual man, but feels that our spiritual practices are fundamentally opposed (with mine leading me straight to hell). He’s afraid that love is not enough to step out on faith with, and this is puzzling to me because I am certain that we were led to each other. We are enjoying interacting very much but are hesitating to move forward. This is helped by the fact that we currently live close to 1,000 miles apart. However, this will soon change as part of the life changes I am currently putting in motion will have me moving back to the northeast and will put us in closer proximity. The attraction is compelling, however, as is the emotion and I am very interested in seeing how all of this will play out. As Saturn entered Libra last week I met up with a god-brother of mine (same former temple) who gave me a key to resolving our spiritual differences. I feel much more positive about what Saturn’s transit through Virgo has brought to my attention than many here have. It’s not because this transit was so easy. It wasn’t. During this transit I have had to question many decisions I’ve made in the past and have many more about the future. I almost lost my house during this transit, but that was because I made some decisions about where to spend my money. I also learned about NACA (check them out and believe it. It’s real.) and reorganized my finances during this transit. I had so me more lessons in the whole love and sex dynamic. They weren’t easy to live through but apparently it was necessary because I chose it. I allowed myself to confront the contempt with which I hold the system I have been an active participant in for the past ten years, and have decided that I have to let this shit go. And I’ve made peace (in my mind) with my upbringing and that will allow me to go home and enjoy my parents in their final years. And I’ve started losing the weight I gained when Saturn went into Leo and even before when it was in Cancer. This has been a very good transit for me.
Jamie writes… I am Scorpio Sun, Capricorn rising, Cancer Moon.
I’m not sure why, but it seems like my Scorp friends are having the most dramatic time with this reformation (economic/spiritual/emotional) in which we find ourselves. My dear friend with the 22 day fever (maybe you read this storyhere?) is a Scorpio (turned out she had Typhus). Another just lost his teaching position (fortunately, his wife is the breadwinner – he brought in the butter); yet another lost her entire career in a gamble that won *me* as the booby prize. Heh.
The business of having Pluto in your Ascendant for a few years is gonna take some getting used to – my experience with Pluto in Sagg was that it really did get more intense toward the degree of my natal chart, then began to ease off. That Cancer/Capricorn opposition sounds extremely empowering to me, it’s just a matter of figuring out where to route the juice. Steps back, indeed, but more like steps along a very intense and rewarding cliff-face. Straight up just won’t do it. You’ll need to find the most stable footholds as you go and that often means a little testing here and there.
I salute all of my Scorpio friends!
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Eric,
I am Scorpio Sun, Capricorn rising, Cancer Moon. I feel like I have been struggling in every aspect of my life, in this past year, but particularly career & financially in the past three years. I lost one job in 2006, a part-time job in 2008 & my latest job in September of 2009. Unemployed for 8 weeks in 2006 then took a pay cut has left me in debt & digging a deeper hole.
I was unemployed for about 6 weeks this time, but now am working two jobs again, at far less money than ever before. As well as barely utilizing my skills that I’ve acquired over the years. I have also began pursuing a more creative direction, taking up singing lessons & songwriting as I feel that is my soul’s desire in this life. Yet that path has been slow to develop even the first few steps.
I’ve been trying to improve my attitude as my motto has always been to keep moving forward, yet it’s hard when I feel like in every aspect I have had to take backward steps. I have come to realize that I do not do surrender very well, because I tend to believe that I control the direction of my life, but when things feel out of my hands, how can I comfortably surrender to the choices that the fates, or whatever else, is making for me?
Scorpio rising here (I missed the call for Gemini, my sun sign). The period since February 2007, with a rapid acceleration in July 2007, has seen shocking reversals in pretty much every major arena of my life. The guiding ideas have been balance (pursuit of), following my gut, adaptation, and political strategy. The feeling has been of an large cosmic Hand pushing me inexorably but beneficently into a new life that I would never have pursued of my own accord or would even have thought I wanted. If I’d seen it coming, I would have run screaming into the night. The period has been marked by events that can be called “traumatic,” but it has been a constructive process. It’s all been very Kali-esque.
These last few years for me have been punctuated by figuring out what matters most in the time I have been given, and what I do with it. I morbidly anticipate my own inevitable end while retrospectively taking stock of where I’ve been-as if I might miss some important detail that could avert future disaster if I haven’t studied my own history closely enough for clues about my shadow and light selves.
It is my humble opinion that each of us has our ups and downs and this recursive disorganized blissfully mysteriously deliciously painful cinematic spiritual experience we call life -promises this adventure to everyone from the beginning.
I have stumbled, fumbling with demons I wouldn’t let go of, lamented about the why me’s and why not me’s and at the other side of all the feelings I found the simplest of truths. Some travels are meant for one alone. There’s nothing to lose because nothing belongs to us, really. Every day we’re still here is an opportunity to do something amazing, even if that’s just taking a nap with someone you love to be close to. I decided not to be fearful or fearless. I hope I will have the courage of my conviction to be present in now, and to achieve balance in my endeavors…and I’m both relieved and happy to say that I’m not as ashamed of myself as I used to believe I needed to be, indeed-I can laugh out loud and mean it…and, now if I want to cry, I just do it. I made up new rules for myself, and I fell in love with being alive one more time. After all, why me and why not me?
Scorpio stellium in the 9th here. Sun, Venus, Mercury, Neptune. I’ve just had the maddest, craziest year of my life but it’s been incredibly healing and empowering. I reconnected with the love of my life only to lose him again. Found myself instead. The process nearly killed me, but it’s pushed me to a whole new level of being. Wounds all healed, karma done and dusted, and wonderful new people met along the way. I’m running my own publishing company now, doing astro consults on the side and teaching inner guide meditations. Things I would never have imagined a year ago. I’ve also moved back to a country I left a long time ago, and have finally made peace with it and my family. So 2009 has been a big year. Lots of painful endings, but many new opportunities too.
Scorpio sun, Scorpio rising ( which is conjunct Lilith in my natal), Neptune in Scorpio ( which is square my natal Saturn). Basically, I’ve been keeping my head above water and then some, I have found out that many things I thought were really true are not (family stories about the people that raised me, being totally made up, because I found out that they were basically con artists who swindled people), finding out that the things I value are really REALLY not what others value, so it’s been about value. I still love what and who I love, the lies told don’t change that, but they do make me feel more like cutting loose more (because I used to think I didn’t measure up to the exalted family, now come to find that I actually passed them by a long time ago, so I really don’t feel like I’m a big screw up now). I still deeply love and want to keep my 90 year old homestead on five acres even if the bank thinks it’s just a tear down that they won’t lend me money to fix (odd, I thought good land was worth something, but then what do I know). So I’ve been feeling less judgemental about myself and more like flipping someone else off. Don’t know who, it kind of depends on the day. Don’t know if this helps, but it’s what’s up for me, for now.
P.S. My birth date is October 28, 1965; was born 1:15 P.M in Manila.
Thank you for inviting us to participate in this process. On the social-political plane, the questions that have been occupying my thoughts recently are these: Do we really overcome our state of powerlessness? Or we just delude ourselves? Do we mistake reprieve for solution or the way out? During the recent tragedies that affected my country, as consequence of strong typhoons and failure in governance, people were saying the floods became an equalizer because both the poor and the rich lost their valuables and properties. But the rich lost their designer bags and a car among their many others and a big house. I know of a couple who are now living in a five-star hotel because they lost their big house. Those living on subsistence lost everything they had.
On the personal level: I’ve always felt that I am not a lucky person the way others are. It’s like my karma is to always work hard to deserve what I hope for, while others only need a little input and they get what they want and more. I am not averse to working hard for what I deserve. I actually believe in it but sometimes I wish I could have more luck too.