Dear Adorable Humanoid Earthling:
We know you love astrology, and that you seek it out for wisdom and assistance in our complex planetary moment. I have news for you which my marketing department has been urging me to relate for several hundred years. When I was a student in editing school on the distant planet Tiarra down in one of the globular clusters south of our galaxy, I knew I would be assigned to Earth for a while. From everything they were telling us about how weird life would be at this time, I knew that Planet Waves was just what we would need to have a clue what is happening in our world.
“You need to use mythology, because it’s the only thing people believe,” my writing teacher said. “Also, astrology works, because human minds take the shape of the solar system they incarnate in. This is a property of nature anywhere there’s human life.”
So anyway, I incarnated, did journalism for a while, went to spiritual training camp in New Jersey, learned astrology and started Planet Waves. I can now offer it to you, advertising free, designed specifically to work with your particular model of mind — the kind with the planets built in.
They love it on Tiarra, and it’s become a big hit over in the Sombrero Galaxy. Now you too can experience Planet Waves, the the only astrology magazine that remembers the real elements are hot, wet, earthy and breezy.
On Tiarra much was learned which, earthlings haven’t yet had chance to forget. Within the cosmic cycles of transcendence gently caressing immanence, a voyager appeared, pregnant with legacy, one who began to remind us to celebrate our heavenly bodies and show us how the gravity which holds them is in awesome, yet delicate, tension… and so it is. FEEL the Waves.
I am on a long assignment here…
Cute! So how long you gonna be here?