It’s not the relationship with the parents, but the root of those relationships: the formation of the limbic system; which is about how the brain grows and thus the environment of thought is formed. That first two years plus prenatal is the time that the imprinting takes place, as the brain develops. The patterns that form in that time, this book (by neurologists) explains, are in a sense anatomical. After that time they become:
1. Unconscious or a factor of the environment and
2. Difficult to change. How we can change them is the subject of the book, which mainly presents a theory of therapy. And the theory is simply that the longterm relationship with the therapist, established outside of all the threats and insults of the childhood environment. This relationship, based on a new kind of trust, establishes a new set of limbic pathways.
These pathwas, even as they are established, can be carried outside the therapy room and used as templates for other relationships. While not officially ‘therapeutic’, these relationships can include the space to establish interpersonal trust in a way that transcends childhood. The authors suggest that the method of the therapy is quite secondary to the fact that it is happening; in other words, that a relationship is being established.
There are a couple of other key points to the theory – which is related to the establishment of language.
The book is called A General Theory of Love.
Eric, Thanks for sharing this. I look forward to reading the book.
At that age and longer still, there is an inability to control such an environment. I somehow developed certain tools which astrologically would involve the 12th house Cancer ruler. I began very early to have dreams warnng me of future events that somehow insulated me from very stressful situations. However, many, many years later I am only beginning to understand and trust them.