All your life you thought you were born the Chinese Year of the Tiger — suggesting you’re charming, well liked, not seeking money or power, and craving approval from your family. But if you were born between March 29 and April 1, 1974, you were actually born during the year of the Mouse.
The discovery of the 13th animal, the Mouse, has been suspected for a long time. But last week, astronomers challenged the 5,000 year old Chinese zodiac, saying that the years and the dates of the signs are all wrong. “We see the droppings everywhere,” said astronomer Kark Punkle.
“Its not really a year,” said Punkle, who made the discovery. “It’s more like four days, at least in 1974. But still, there is a Mouse out there, and he influences you.” If you’re a born a Mouse, he says, you’re more likely to go scavenging, you’ll want to avoid traps, and you generally come out only at night. You will dislike Rats and cats, and you avoid owls.
“The Mouse was revered by the ancient Chinese. Now, astrology is finally buggered,” Punkle said.
The Chinese zodiac is based on the 12 animals who visited Buddha when he was sitting under a tree, or something. However, with all the fuss and chatter, nobody noticed that there was a 13th animal flitting around, a Mouse. Based on this discovery, astronomers have rewritten the dates of the Chinese zodiac. In a letter to Chinese President Hu Jintao, astronomers wrote, “We regret to inform you that the Chinese zodiac is not accurate. We have discovered a factor of which you need to be aware. We trust that you will put this in China Google so that everyone finds out.”
The Year of the Mouse includes:
Dec. 31, 1934-Jan. 1, 1935
May 14-17, 1944, in the garage
March 4-9, 1957
September 14-16, 1961
Aug. 7, 1962 from 3:31 pm to 3:45 pm
July 25-26, 1964, in the wood shed
March 29-April 1, 1974
June 21, 2001, in the kitchen
and Today
Astronomers note that the Mouse is not applicable everywhere all the time. Sometimes it’s only in the garage, and other times in the kitchen. Other times it seems like the closet, but you cannot quite tell.