Note, here is a link to today’s Daily Oracle.
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Yesterday passing through New Paltz on the way out of town, I ran into an old friend who asked me where I was going. I told him I was presenting my theory of ‘The One and the Many‘ at a conference called Poly Living 2010 in Philadelphia. The theory challenges both conventional monogamous and polyamorous thinking. It describes how there’s not really such a split between this thing called ‘polyamory’ and this other seemingly totally different thing called ‘monogamy’.
He’s happily married, though I was happy to hear him open up and say that if he could, he would have two wives with totally different interests. He felt he could handle that, and maintain both relationships just fine. It seemed perfectly logical to him.
I asked him the next logical question, whether he would be into his wife having a boyfriend — which to his credit, he said he would not be able to handle; the jealousy would be too much. This supports my theory that the real issue behind the obsession with monogamy is really the fear of jealousy. I believe that most people would openly have multiple relationships, if they wouldn’t go into total reaction when their partner did the same thing. Most of us are slaves to jealousy, without understanding what jealousy really is, or what to do with it. [Here is an article that presents a theory.]