By Sarah Taylor
In the aftermath of the Connecticut shooting, I had felt that I didn’t want to do a tarot reading. It didn’t feel like something that I could ignore or write around; it would have been the elephant in the living room. Definitely my living room, anyway. I cannot begin to imagine, or believe that I can relate to, being someone who has lost a son, or a daughter, or a mother, a sister, a cousin, a nephew or niece. But as the mother of a near-six-year-old, the grief cut deeper than usual.
It seemed wrong to pretend that what had happened, had not. I wrote to Eric letting him know that I didn’t feel up to writing today. Eric wrote back and suggested that not only do I write, but I write about the incident itself.
And so this is what I am going to do, bearing in mind that the only scant, painfully limited power I have is to reach my heart out to those I do not know. As woman, mother, human being, that is all I have. But I also work with the understanding that the tarot offers something more if we feel we want to accept it — something that is connected to a sense of depth and belonging that can lift us up and hold us in a way that nothing else can. And we need not choose to accept it. The choice is ours entirely; the cards are there if we need them.
Therefore, this weekend’s reading is going to be succinct. It will say as much as it needs to say, and I hope that my words can do it some justice.
I drew three cards: the current situation at centre; at left, what we bring into this; at right, what we take away from this. They were surprising to me in some respects — especially the card on the left — but I come away from the reading with a sense of wisdom that challenged what I thought would be the ‘right’ cards, what I had assumed would show me the path to justice. No. We are all in this together.
The current situation is marked by the Seven of Pentacles. This card describes a striving against all odds, in a dry and uninviting environment, where we tend to something that is growing, but which demands our vigilance and care.
It is up to us entirely: we cannot assume that someone else is there to help us. The figure is youthful. He is not dressed richly: this is a time of toil and trial. He cannot rest on his laurels (he’s trying to grow them!). The foliage of the vine before him is in parts green and fertile, in others brown and teetering on the edge of life. The phrase that comes to me while writing — not an unfamiliar phrase: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.” (John 15:1)
What does not work is seared away through heat; what works, lasts. But there is hope; there is harvest. The single pentacle at the young man’s feet is proof of this. Life grows in the most desolate and uninviting of places. Life endures in spite of loss. When we tend to the true vine, we are in the garden of the Father. Loss can bring us closer to truth; loss brings us closer to Him. These words by themselves might be glib. It is the experiencing of them through the lens of our lives that gives them a meaning that has depth and which offers us more than empty words. We tend to the fragility of what grows inside, and we connect with that meaning.
What we bring into these circumstances is The Lovers. We cannot separate ourselves from the other. We are in relationship to everything that feels opposite to us. We are united under a force that accepts the darkest in us along with the light. In The Lovers, we are able to look across at what is our counterpart and find in that a sense of love.
It also offers us a choice — which part of love do we choose to express as a result? How are we in relationship to others? Where is it that we can hold space for the very things that might make us recoil in other circumstances? Where are we being shown our obligations as humans? And by ‘obligation’ I mean something that is inevitable: we can choose to ignore it, to look away, to pretend that there is no one there in front of us that mirrors what we are not able to see in ourselves.
The Lovers is the first card of the major arcana that describes the state of polarity. In The Lovers, we finally meet with contrast. This contrast is both beautiful and terrifying — it holds everything that we have thus far failed to acknowledge in ourselves. And yet this union is blessed: the angel above says no less. The angel’s hair embodies both flame and foliage: it is a synthesis of both. We are synthesis expressed as separateness, and that can feel both divine and demonic. What do we all bring to our present experience? What do we decide to look at? What can we not look at?
And finally, The Fool. A stepping out into the unknown. I read The Fool two ways. The first is The Fool who remembers nothing, who reverts to a childlike state of no responsibility, who starts again — only to follow a path that leads to a destination that has different details but the same outcome. The cycle is repeated without significant change. And there is nothing wrong with that.
The other is The Fool where we step out again on a journey in which we bring enough with us in our handkerchiefs to equip us to walk a new path. Yes, we will meet The Lovers again. And the Seven of Pentacles. We always do. But if life affords us the gift of choice — and that is what is laid out before us now — which gift will we choose next time?
If you want to experiment with tarot cards and don’t have any, we provide a free tarot spread generator using the Celtic Wings spread, which is based on the traditional Celtic Cross spread. This article explains how to use the spread.
So sorry Sina for the terror and damage of the cyclone; I have no idea where you are, for some reason I am picturing you in Ireland. But maybe you are on the west coast. Thank you for your generous and loving note, and thank you Sarah, for writing despite your feelings. I work at two elementary schools, so what has happened is very real to me. I am grief-stricken as we all are. Since I started back in schools this summer one scenario that occasionally runs through my head is the possible need to protect the children I work with should something similar happen. Now I am wondering if I was having a premonition. Whatever, it is a reality that these things are happening and that schools are a target. I worry for my husband who works at a community college. I worry for all of us.
Hi Sarah & everyone,
Blessings and sympathy to all the families involved in the fatal shooting of innocents, babies, angels. It is truly shocking to think that despite all our education, we are still so inhumane to each other, that these events are still happening. Peace to all of you who are hurting. Senseless murder of innocents just can’t be understood! No situation can justify it, yet, it still keeps happening, all over our planet. Love, peace and serenity to all.
We are cleaning up after Cyclone Evan smashed us, as Sandy had smashed you on the East Coast a few weeks earlier. I had celebrated 12.12.12 with beautiful people that day, only to find out that evening that a cyclone was heading our way. The next day, Evan smashed us, and finally, a few days later, I find out that the carpenter who had worked at my home on Wednesday, had lost his on Thursday, when the river banks burst and took his home and everything in it, just after he had managed to grab his 8 children and run for their lives. Like New York, we will be cleaning up for months. The government have already told us it will be weeks before we all get power, and running water again.
I feel blessed that my little home survived the cyclone, and that we have clean tank water, but rocks have blocked our road, so no access for us to get down to town, except to walk 3kms down to the main road to flag a ride down to town. Thankfully work has generators and water tanks, so have access to internet today.
People always seem to rally together and help each other out during a crisis. I sincerely hope that you rally around and help each other during this terrible crisis, and senseless loss of life. Hopefully, this will help us all see the preciousness of life
Sina xx
I found this very moving, from Marianne Williamson:
PRAYER FOR CONNECTICUT by Marianne Williamson: For those who bear tonight the unbearable burden of unimaginable grief, who in their agony yell at the forces of fate. For those who moan and those who faint, for those who rage and those who pray, we moan and pray along with you. For tonight, those were our children too. Dear God, May a legion of angels come upon these parents. Bring to them an otherworldly touch, an otherworldly comfort, an otherworldly sense that their children are well — that they are safe with God and shall be with them always. Give to those who grieve what no mortal can give – the touch of Your Hand upon their heart. May all touched by this darkness be Lit by Your grace. Please wipe away all tears, dear God. as only You can do. Amen
Dear Sarah,
I appreciate the effort it took to write this piece today and can relate because I’ve not been drawn to my beloved astrology either since the tragedy on Friday. Talking face to face with others or on the phone is something else I’m unable to do, but reading others comments on blogs and leaving a few of my own is the only way to connect right now.
My heart spoke to me this morning when I awoke and it reminded me that karma can be national or even global, not just personal. It occurred to me then that these victims, of Sandyhook and also the storm called Sandy, were likely paying off a big chunk of karma in this lifetime, but not the personal kind. They were taking the hit for all of us; especially Americans, but also they were clearing karma for the planet. My heart tells me that is why we feel it so poignantly, what these people in a small town in Conn. are going through. We really are “in this together”.
This is why I wanted to let you know that your 3 cards spoke to me in much the same way. The Current Situation (7 of Pentacles) as you describe it shows we are moving forward, as in evolution, in spite of trials. What we bring to the situation, the Lovers, and the fact that it represents polarity also rings true for the stage of progress we are in. What we take away from this, The Fool,” who remembers nothing, who reverts to a childlike state of no responsibility, who starts again” speaks to me most of all. The cycle of life, repeats and repeats and through the burning off of karma, a grief felt most intensely at the site of the tragedy, but it also reverberates through that community, moving out to the rest of the country, and even further throughout the world.
In a sense we are all little children somewhere inside. We lose touch with our innocent child in order to make it in the world, but the loss of many tiny school children, through an act performed by one who is still a child himself, breaks through our exterior wall and we all feel the pain of those children, and their parents, just as surely as if we had been shot ourselves.
So thank you Sarah for doing as Eric suggested. I am sure many others will relate to your cards much the same as I did. It is a service you have performed and we are truly grateful for it.
be
I know a school shooter. Luckily, his victim didn’t die, but he is now serving a 30 year prison term. He was in middle school when he committed the crime. His mother was absent most of his life, by virtue of being a drunk. The father was non-existent. The teachers spoke highly of him – he wanted their approval and was helpful. So why??
He said he did it because he wanted to be known for the crime. It was senseless.
I believe this era can be blamed almost entirely on the entertainment industry as well as the news media. You can’t blame a refrigerator for making you fat, but you may well be able to blame the advertisements you see on tv and in magazines.
Your tarot draw seems spot on, and so does the explanation. Everyone has been discussing awareness, and moving through ‘portals’ to another dimension. How could any of us have guessed it would be through little tiny children!?!? I spent the day yesterday at a local festival where the guests of honor were all in the age group of 3-10 years old. The entire day was very special because you could feel the devotion of the adults toward these little ones. Everyone was alert, and no-one and everyone was smiling and friendly. Just last week we were at another festival, where most were walking through with robot eyes and motions. It’s been that way for years!
We have passed through an era of completely inexcusable behavior with no love for fellow man, no patience for the young, nor joy for living. I saw and felt a real life change of heart in the people yesterday, and in myself. It is a welcome change.
The boy in prison is doing well there so far, and we love him.
But if life affords us the gift of choice — and that is what is laid out before us now — which gift will we choose next time?”
Thank you Sarah–I would like to echo Daniel’s comment in comtemplative silence for now. Much gratitude to you and others here for the space to “be”
Sarah, thank you for your offering, for your tenderness and wisdom. I value it tremendously.
I too am lost for words, choosing a silent contemplation, because I have more to say but don’t know quite how to say it.