I’ve tracked a lot of news events during Mercury retrograde and well, this one stands out among just about all of them, tall and proud and over the top. The only one that stands a little taller and a little more over the top was the one in November 2000 wherein a United States presidential election was stolen and everyone scratched their head and went on eating their Whopper just so the same thing could happen again in 2004.
Oil and water don't mix.
Mercury, after being retrograde since April 18, stationed direct in Taurus today at 6:26 pm in NY, 3:26 pm in California and 11:26 pm in England.
In that time we experienced a volcano, an oil volcano (still out of control, with no end in sight, compounded by hundreds of thousands of gallons of solvent being dumped into the Gulf of Mexico), a bitterly fought election in the UK, massive flooding in Tennessee and other states, tornadoes in Oklahoma, banking fraud by Goldman Sachs exposed, a debt crisis flooding across Europe with a trillion euro bailout committed to during the retrograde!, a 1,000 point dive in the stock market the cause of which nobody can figure out and an attempted terrorist attack in New York City.
After we spent, well I hate to toss around the word trillion so casually but…a trillion dollars on wars in Afghanistan and Iraq during the past decade, the presumed enemy is…the Pakistani branch of ‘al Qaeda’. A Supreme Court nominee was announced by Obama the day before Mercury stationed — that nomination, well, let’s just say that it has issues; there will be a fuss and those so easily distracted will be distracted from all the things they don’t want to be thinking about.
This wasn’t just Mercury retrograde of course; an outer planet changed signs — Chiron. And Mercury right now is hovering in flight over the discovery degree of Chiron. In honor of this I’m going to call this one the Chiron Mercury retrograde forevermore.
I think this has been somewhat easier for individuals than its been for the world as a whole, but maybe it’s just me; Mercury has been making a lot of trines against earthy planets and points in my chart. The funky part was Mars (different planet, different retrograde, close proximity in time) making a series of oppositions to my Aquarius Moon — but the first two were more challenging than the third.
I know it’s always a relief when Mercury stations direct and you have a positive bank balance, your Internet connection works and you have air in all four tires. I’m wondering how it’s been for you these past few weeks — and in particular what you’ve earned and learned; what truth has come out.
Oh, one last thought — another friend pointed out to me that we are on a spiral, not a merry go round. And her explanation of this was very helpful. Thank god/goddess!
A relevant experience, I’m pretty sure, indeed.
Hello again.
Interestingly enough, after my last post on May 9, the next few days I found myself experiencing similar feelings, spefically paranoia and conspiracy.
The circumstances that brought this about revolve around a job with the Census Bureau I started on Apr 26. To remain brief, my crew of 12 had a crew leader thrown in the position because the two previous crew leaders within a span of one week were both removed for one reason or another. So, it was a ‘hey you’ selection for the crew leader we ended up with, who was trained to hold that position and had no more training than the rest of us.
Unfortunately, this woman spent the next week doing nothing but creating chaos by her lies, ineptitude, threats, hostility and aggression. She particularly seemed threatened by me, I believe because I’m very competent, I read the short manuals and know them, and I would bring things up that weren’t right, procedurally, as I saw them. (I should also mention I was one of two crew leader assistants, which she asked us to do, which is more responsibility, same pay, so it was basically done as a favor to her and because she asked us.) I also wanted multiple times to sit with her and express my concerns, and she never gave me the opportunity. And her demeanor was always defensive and aggressive, which I have a difficult time with anyway. In my childhood, I was under constant threat and fear by my father, always blamed for things I didn’t do. So this was familiar, I realize. She spent a lot of energy, I found out from people telling me or simply overhearing talk in the rare instances when our crew was in the same room, spreading lies about me. But also, during these times I was able to hear many grievances from others of how this woman treated them as well. So this a general gist of things, without having to go into the many individual details I certainly could.
On May 10 this woman, myself and the other assistant met with the next in line supervisor to, I thought, naively, in part so that the two assistants could express their concerns regarding the crew leader so that we could iron things out and be on the same page. What happened was the beginning of my paranoia and conspiracy feelings and that was when the crew leader, in her typical aggressive and hostile fashion, started spewing lies right there in front of me, the other assistant and our next in line supervisor. I was dumbfounded and shocked, to say the least, and left speechless. To the supervisor’s credit, she didn’t let this continue very long, directed us to put something in writing, and closed up the meeting with one major directive (to complete an agreeable time schedule between the three of us for the others to meet with every day at their most convenient time) to accomplish before we left and this did not happen.
After that, my mind started swirling and racing with all sorts of connect-the-dots-in-the -wrong way manner. I was able to realize my thoughts were irrational, even pulling the supervisor into the conspiracy against me, but that didn’t stop them from causing me great distress, with old memories of 3-4 years ago resurfacing, over the next 24-36 hours. I was sick to my stomach, and that rarely ever happens.
I am grateful my thoughts at times had enough space to allow me to remember to do conscious breathwork, deep breaths, following the path of air to my core. I am nearly certain that this prevented me from getting swept away completely in my mind and where it wanted to travel, and I was able to maintain a firm desire and resolve to trust what was happening even though my tendency was not to.
After another particular harried day on the 11th with more things coming up when talking to others that were just lending more confusion and chaos to the overall situation (many on the team expressed there was an air of paranoia because no one knew who they could really trust because of all the inconsistencies and bad mouthing by the crew leader happening, which made what anyone else said that was true questionable), I met with the crew leader the next morning, on the 12th, and handed her a letter basically saying I would no longer be her assistant and further I wanted a transfer or an end to my employment with the bureau, a plain and simple request and I was going to leave it at that. But, what happened at that meeting, and before while 8-9 crew members were awaiting her very late arrival, caused me to announce to her and everyone in the room that I was not going to continue this meeting, that I would not meet with this crew leader again with her supervisor present, and I was leaving the area. And I did. And I called her supervisor and let her know.
And my feelings of paranoia and conspiracy continued, but I kept moving forward.
I went home and put a record of events together of the previous evening (the 11th) and that morning, and put a cover letter on it, and met with the supervisor that evening. She immediately reassigned me, without even reading my letters, and while I sat there many of my team members came through to turn in paperwork to her. This was such a good thing, because as they were sitting there just chit-chatting amongst one another, many things were said about the crew leader and her behavior. This caught the ear of the supervisor and she questioned them, and asked them to put things in writing so that she could address these issues (and connect the dots in the bigger picture of the crew). This really helped me because it validated that it wasn’t just me because it was said in a collective group in front of the person who is in the position of authority over the entire crew (it’s like your sister vouching for you to your parents when your young, which mine never did). Other things happened too, and I left that night, late, having full confidence in the supervisor and her capabilities in that role. I still had a few uncomfortable feelings bubbling, but the worst had passed at this point.
I took the next day off completely, was able to see my bodywork/healer/friend and he reminded me that I have many old patters that, in certain circumstances, will have the tendency to want to be followed. The deepest ruts carry the water. And what I was doing was creating new paths. Yes, of course.
My feelings of conspiracy and paranoia simmered down and all is mostly well. The supervisor yesterday said the crew leader was no longer a crew leader and disciplinary actions are in the works. My new crew leader is a breath of fresh air, and in two days I accomplished a lot of work, which is so appreciated in this time sensitive mission.
The last thing I will share is that I am grateful for this experience because it has helped me completely to reframe the events of 3-4 years ago, when I was so certain there were so many out to get me. My mind connected the dots that way, and now I can unconnect them consciously.
This was so very difficult and so very distressing, and I’m so very grateful.
I’m not sure if this helps, and I’d be curious if someone would like to comment, but I have Taurus 12 9th house, chiron 26 retro pisces 7th house along with saturn 29 stationary retro, neptune 19 retro scorpio, 3rd north node taurus 23. Also, neptune is the only planet in houses 1-6.
And lastly, my car’s check engine light went on a couple of weeks ago — a few months ago it came on, I stopped by the mechanic’s and he cleared it, it stayed off — and when I drove my car on Wed the 12th after several days sitting, the light was off. :0) I was waiting to see if that would happen, and it did!!
Oh, and I also lost my wallet on the 11th.
Sorry for the long post – hope it makes sense. And thanks again for providing such a safe space to share such stories.
Good day everyone.
xo
Patricia MoonRose
I was feeling the shadow period going into this Merc Rx with major insecurity on the theme “how good am I?” on certain skills and abilities. This continued to snowball into the retrograde, and I saw myself expanding the judging to include OTHERS about their skills and abilities, particularly about mothering and money (sparked by an emotional fight with my mother about money/possessions the day after Merc went Rx). Ah, there goes my Taurus moon.
There was a lot of re-surfacing of old friends/faces, but ones that stood out: Had a friendly meeting with a close friend I felt estranged from and who I had not spoken to in a year that made me feel better, even if I don’t feel totally reconciled. Bumped into an ex-lover that I parted from with a nasty exchange of emails years ago, but all was well and civil.
In general, I have been feeling strongly my anger, feeling tired and moody, and having trouble focusing (was daydreaming and shopping alot for a while), and struggling with accepting things as they are instead of how I would like them to be. But I have been blessed this retrograde with Time (because I am currently “in-between jobs”) to slow down, to grieve, to meditate, to take care of myself. Allowing my feelings to come up, and reconciliation (especially within the fractions of myself) have been the keys getting me through the door.
Thank you all for letting me share this. And thank you Eric and Len, for your words during this time- they have helped shed so much light!
Well it was an expensive time-
my bank balance is not what it was
in a strange way good things happened
letting go was the way a lot of the time
cut 8 inches off my hair
lightened it for the summer
used a treadmill for the first time-
they do scare me
passed my first stress test with a suggestion to run more
me run more?
cried thinking about my dad who passed away in December
went to MOMA and waited with a good friend for hours to sit with Marina-
peace with MOMA
felt lucky that I did not have cancer
mass is gone along with Ascending intestine
Fixed a broken phone!
Realized that an estrangement with an old friend ( of 20 years)
not going to heal any time soon-
best to let it go
did a mantra retreat and learned how to make mantra rolls for sculptures
missed my dad
My friend’s mom died – flowers around casket
saw an old lover and let that go again
cleaned the apartment
sent a letter to the landlord requesting to sublet the apartment
looked at the moon
walked through central park
worked
wondered how I managed to gain weight after an operation
made some art
thought about art ideas
took a bath every night
worried about money again
then decided not to
had a MO done
healing being done in Nepal
threw out papers
cleaned my desk
let go
For me, the energy shifted drastically around the time Mercury entered shadow phase. It was as if I had a piece of artwork under glass in a frame, and someone came along and hit it with a hammer. My immediate reaction was to panic and rush around trying to fix things, which was at the very least a waste of energy and money, and in some cases made things worse.
It was almost surreal – as if I were split in two, standing outside myself and watching while the most bizarre things happened. Some of it is laughable in retrospect.
During 2009 and early 2010, I had what’s known in the dental profession as a full mouth reconstruction: 70 hours of dental chair time, in 13 lengthy sessions, done under sedation (triazolam, not general anesthesia, although I am not a person who likes using drugs of any sort.) The final session was in early April. thought I was done.
Right after Mercury went retrograde – *ominous music* – I went to the dentist to have some adjustments made and have the “after” pictures taken. The dentist was grinding away on one of the new permanent bridges (porcelain crowns over “high noble” metal) when all of a sudden the drill stopped and I heard him say to the dental assistant, “I ground through the porcelain”. Yep.
The bridge is structurally OK, but the flaw where the metal shows now is at the front of my mouth, so it’s visible, although you’d practically have to be in my mouth to see it. I have to decide whether to go through at least 2 more intense sessions, having the permanent bridge removed (not an easy or pleasant process), hopefully without damaging the living teeth underneath; have another dental impression taken (likewise not pleasant); and a new bridge made and installed. Fortunately I would not have to pay for it. However, the dentist is pressing me to go ahead and get it done now. Professional ego, I suspect, plus I think he wants to try to get the lab that made the bridge comp him the cost, and they apparently have a time limit for that.
Right before Mercury went retrograde, my cellphone died. I bought a replacement but it didn’t work well, so I returned it and got another one. The sound quality of that one wasn’t so great. After doing some research online, I decided to return it.
Before I left my office to do so, I needed to make a phone call. I reached into my purse on my desk to get my cellphone (the one I was going to return). There was a glass of water next to my purse. The cellphone slid between my fingers like it was greased, and landed upside down in the glass of water. (All my years of having a cellphone, I have never had that happen before.) I needed a working cellphone, since I was going out of town the following week. So I ordered a new battery for my old phone, paying extra for rush delivery. Before it arrived, the new phone dried out and started working again. The sound actually seems to be better now than before it got drowned.
I started noticing what I was doing, and told myself, “stop trying to fix things. Relax.” That has been my spiritual practice for the past several weeks. It was extremely uncomfortable having things around me falling apart (physical as well as intangible aspects and structures of my life changing) and to know that they weren’t to be fixed.
I know these are the times we are living in. Change, paradigm shift, 2012, whatever you want to call it. I’ve already gone through some pretty drastic upheavals and transformations in my life. But I guess there was still a part of me hanging on to “how things are” or “how things were”. (My Moon in Taurus could have something to do with that.
) Seems like this Mercury retrograde may have been the place of no return, or at least the time when the no-return-ness made itself inescapably known to my mind.
It has become a Mercury retrograde tradition for me to travel 1600 miles to visit my elderly Dad, and I did so in early May. (The travel went well.) While there, I bought a book at the Barnes & Noble near my Dad’s home: Neale Donald Walshe’s “When Everything Changes, Change Everything.”
I’ve felt like my hinges have been sprung and won’t close back up again, like I’m flapping open, like an old favorite box that I used to play with when I was a kid, not really a “good” box anymore, but once very pretty and loved, kept for sentiment. Not empowered or evolved or anything cool like that, just kind of broken, but still here.
Have to agree with those who feel the dominant theme of the past couple of weeks being Chiron. So many old wounds reopened revolving around power – personal and political.
The essence of the lesson is the realisation that I have lived, loved, studied and practiced on the edge for so long that I do not know how to ‘present’ myself any more. Seem to have lost the ability to be ‘compliant’. Have been intolerant of any form of restraint, speaking bluntly when people expect ‘nice’.
Have a job interview to go to in 2 weeks time for a CEO position (been one several times in the past) and am having trouble preparing for the interview. How to embody a different point of view (other than managerialism) without scaring the fuck out of them?
How does one look like a duck but not quack like a duck and not scare other ducks?
For me too it’s been one rough Mercury retrograde emotionally. More things broke during Mars retrograde. But this Merc rx has been one emotional rollercoaster that just goes down, down and more down.
I’m a Piscean, so when Chiron moved into Pisces it entered my 1st house and has been sitting the whole time on my Juno. Merc rx occurred in my 3rd house, where my natal Chiron is conveniently located at 23 deg Taurus (it’s the only thing located in Taurus and the only thing located in my third hours for me).
For me this retrograde has focused on cleaning house in past relationships and friendships. Verbal communication (3rd house) has been haywire and most of the conversations I’ve tried to have have come out a jumbled mess, which has been frustrating (and this post will probably not be any clearer). Much like the Icelandic volcanic spew all it’s steamy internal matter at the most inopportune time and stopping in it’s tracks the once smooth firing machine of European flights/air traffic. My emotions and feelings would come flying out of my mouth in mass with all sorts of yucky emotions attached like fear and guilt and worry, instead of clear, grounded straight-forwarded stating of how I feel and where I’m at. Also, my internal processes has been very foggy and I’ve been very unclear emotionally.
I’ve also been revisiting past relationships. Found out that the guy I had a unhealthy, on-again-off-again relationship, but who I loved incredibly deeply, with from 2007-end 2008 is engaged. It came totally out of left field, so there was quite a bit of shock. The ending of that relationship has haunted me for the past few years. Finding out that he was engaged was almost like the tearing down of the last veil of illusion that he and I will ever be together or ever work out. It was odd but I finally have been able to 100% move on.
Then there’s the guy I broke up with at the end of March, spent the whole wonderful retrograde being really sad and almost heartbroken that we aren’t together and really missing him. It confused and scared me the depth of the emotions, but I’m betting part of that is the focusing power of Chiron. In some way, the retrograde showed me the depths of my feelings for him and that I care deeply for him and probably always will. It was so confusing since I know I won’t be being true to me if we get back together. He’s close but there are some important personality things that don’t fit. And just being friends is what’s best for both of us. We were friends before we dated and then dated during Mars retrograde, which was hard on our relationship. Things were fine after we broke up and our friendship seemed strong, but then once Chiron ingressed pisces and the Merc retrograde hit full swing things have been stressed between us and our usual flow isn’t there. I’ve been experiencing a lot of internal stress and worry that he’s pulling away, we are drifting apart, we won’t be able to get back to being what seemed like strong friends before we dated. Tried to have a discussion with him a week ago that came out a jumbled mess since my ability to communicate hasn’t been firing on all cylinders, and of course that has made me worry even more. He’s also a Piscean with Venus in Pisces and Mars in Cancer. Also being a Piscean, with him it just feels like there is too much water in the pool sometimes. LInterestingly his Chiron is at 2deg Taurus, pretty much at the Chiron discovery point and where Psyche and Mercury will be conj when Merc goes direct. Thank you Eric for today’s audio, it gave me some insight into what he may be going through and probably is struggling with healing, raising awareness, self-value. It’s all been a big reminder to hold space for people to struggle and work through their own growth. All I can hope is that the retrograde and new moon and having us tear down the remnants of our relationship, making way for us to build a brand new, stronger friendship.
BellaRose – you put it perfectly!! ” I’ve felt this sort of disconnect from myself, from the Source, from anything that helps me feel stable and secure. I’ve been plagued by indecision …. then pouring alcohol on them just for the fun of it.”
Couldn’t have described it any better. I felt like I’ve lost my mojo, or been disconnected from it. From who I am. I haven’t felt strong or sure of myself. I have felt disconnected from myself, I haven’t felt like myself. My friends also seem to be distant and my friendships don’t seem to be firing on all cylinders. I’ve felt like no one has my back, which is very distressing for me since my friendships are so important to me and I’ve been struggling with my attachment to them. I’m an Aquarius moon rising and my friends are also my family. I give so much in my friendships and this retrograde has reminded me to only put the work into those friendships where the people give the same back.
Really hoping after the new moon things get better! And that I’m again plugged into my energy, my mojo because right now the emotional atmosphere is pretty rough.
Here’s to a happy new moon that helps move us forward!
Coming to terms with personal limitations and accepting reality as it is. The most willingness I’ve had to date to look at myself historically with an honest eye. Opening my heart, home, and purse to the needy in my family without resentment or blame. Communicating upfront with people who may be affected by my actions before doing anything. Moving in and out of each of these positions and noticing the difference in how I feel and how I behave.
…necessary for this mid-sign Libran to sit up and pay attention to what is and isn’t. Saturn I am sure has something to do with it, and it hasn’t been all that unpleasant honestly. Growing up might be all it was cracked up to be.–teleskiqueen
I get it re. the Saturn-related stuff. I’m usually way more sensitive to Saturn’s movements than the Merc stuff (and Chiron and I have been good friends for some years now anyway). Things are gonna get very, very interesting when the Old Devil moves back into our sign on 7/21/10… we’ve both also got a Saturn/Sun conjunct. upcoming.
My natal Merc is Rx … seems like I’m usually shrugging my shoulders saying to myself, “oh well, same shit, different day.”
Surprisingly, though, the only trouble I’ve had during this one is that the alarm on my clock radio stopped working.
I don’t think this one has been “easier” for the individuals around me and including me. I have, however, felt that the affects have been more focused, or, to use a term that Chiron might appreciate, that the symptoms have been more acute.
It’s been clear that the people in my life have felt the affects of the Retrograde. But I got the sense that the Chiron influence was more prominent. I can’t tell how many times I have repeated the bits about the holistic/systemic power of chiron pointing us towards the element that will either preserve or destroy the system. And although everyone has been dealing with the frustrations of merc retro I like to think that the frustrations were being hand tailored by the universe to direct us towards those spiritually based systemic dynamics of Chiron in Pisces.
So it’s felt like a causal relationship with Mercury presenting the frustrations which guide us (in reverse) towards the experiences which force us to deal with those fulcrum-like issues that must be faced or else…
I think what’s been particularly gnarly and enjoyable about mercury/chiron has been the tension between the spiritual and the practical, pisces v. taurus. I think it lines up with my understanding of all the changes going on – that the membrane delineating matter and spirit is getting more and more permeable. In other words whether it was practical frustration or the deep spirit healing, the causal relation I mention above felt like it was making work on the practical heal the spirit and work on the spirit soothe the practical.
So it’s been holistically frustrating and practically healing with one doing the other and the other doing one. Good stuff – even if it don’t feel easy, I think it’s been more complete – a very uroboros kinda connection betwixt the trickster and the centaur…
but that’s my individual assessment. In terms of the world…. yeah… s–tshow fo sho
This was actually one of the most notable and most contentious retrogrades I can remember. Normally Mercury retrogrades don’t negatively effect me as easily as it does others. Maybe because glitches just seem routine for me and I try to remain adaptable to any situation. But this time…wow.
I just can’t describe it. I came close to leaving my job over major conflicts with external and internal clients. Negotiations (I work in law and have no choice to put off negotiations) were harder and more contentious than normal. My partner had similar work issues, but it was more in his face and more immediate, forcing him to finally make some decisions about his long-term future. My grandfather went in for a biopsy for lung cancer and the results were “inconclusive”. huh? So they wanted to run the tests again and again. he refused.
In general though, I’ve felt this sort of disconnect from myself, from the Source, from anything that helps me feel stable and secure. I’ve been plagued by indecision and have been looking back a lot at my career and my choices these past few months. It’s been a very difficult retrograde, more like opening up old wounds and then pouring alcohol on them just for the fun of it.
For me, loads of letting go and learning. Like Judebaker, only different, I came to realize that I am the only one who can really take care of me. I am fostering a new relationship with myself, with more honoring and respect for my own needs. A healthy sense of selfishness. I am awakening my personal power and shedding the fear of being powerful.
And more letting go. I hear ya, Mystes, and am sending love and light to the Gulf and to the One Ocean. And turning on the ignition with even more awareness. I mourned on Friday, when I saw the photos of oil in the estuaries (and all their vibrant diversity). I hear the cries of homeless dolphins in the night.
The Yes song, Release, Release has been ringing in my ears as well.
“Further the right of all of creation.”
This mercury retro has been an emotional roller coaster, but not a technological one for me. Right around the day of the retrograde station, I reconnected with some old friends that I hadn’t talked to in years. They are still some of my favorite people in the world and I’ve really missed hearing from them the past, almost 10 years. Yesterday, just as mercury was stationing direct, a childhood friend I hadn’t even thought about in years contacted my father. This relationship is a lot more emotionally complex, but having both those events happen right at the same time as mercury station reminds me that communication and taking care of old business is always a factor for me. The three weeks in between were largely dominated by the news. The two key issues for me being the oil spill and the flood in Nashville where I grew up but now have very few ties to. Not that the litany of other things didn’t weigh in as well. Mercury stationing direct is always something I never too happy to see.
Apart from one slightly foggy, unclear weekend, where I couldn’t get my brain in gear, it’s been great. I revisited loads of work things for a rethink, they came along on a conveyor belt for me to look at, digest once more and twiddle, tweak or bin. So it was truly useful.
The best news though, was the ending; the final dot on the i and cross of the t on a bizarre domestic/legal/financial wrangle with an ex that despite logic, fairness, generosity, and constant offers just could not get resolved. In the end, the firm stance I decided to take earlier in the year finally worked it’s magic. I’m pretty much broke, but I’m at long last shot of a surprise money pit of a home (10 years that has taken) and finally financially separated from my ex, with whom I split amicably (oh how that turned out to be not true in the end) 4 years ago.
So I can sleep at night now, and can get on with my life. It’s been great.
Got heaps to do now, so no time to be on here. Hx
Yes, the sense of humor. Yes yes yes!!!
Mercury retro? What mercury retro? HA!
I’m a firm believer in embracing mercury retrogrades and leaning into all they have to offer – continuous reminders to not lose my sense of humor, no matter how irritating shit gets. Or, the necessity of slowing down, pulling in and taking a moment (or 3 weeks) to just get with myself. (As a Gemini, the latter doesn’t always come so easily.)
This retro took place in my solar 12th, natal 3rd/4th. It kicked off with a huge release of emotions – mainly anger – at a family function, where it just became impossible to exist in the madness without saying something. The fallout from that has been a hiatus from my normally close relationship with my sister.
The experience has been less devastating and more enlightening in that as the younger sibling, my usual M.O., is to go back to the family and take responsibility for everything, just to make things right and comfortable again. This time, it was more of a taking responsibility for mySELF and NOT contorting into uncomfortable positions just to keep the peace.
The relief in doing so has been strangely comforting, albeit scary. EF speaks about earthly themes to this retro and for me, it’s like the foundation on which I’ve built my emotional life is being reassessed. It might be helpful to mention that I’ve also got Pluto transiting my natal 12th.
The thing is, that up until Chiron entered Pisces (natal 2nd), I felt okay with this and solid enough to engage in the process of rewriting my familial relationships – mostly to include a new chapter about what works for ME and what doesn’t.
Chiron, whom I’d like to call a little fucker sometimes, slipped into my 12th and it’s like the volume on all things related to my self-esteem, has been turned up to 90. The enlightened adult in me knows this is a wonderful opportunity to slay the demons of my childhood once and for all – if I could only get the adult to show up. These days, it’s like being a 10 year old trapped in an almost 40 year old body.
And I get it. I do. My foundation needs to shift so that I am the one with the blueprints and the title to the property. Ironically, during the retrograde, I reached the point in writing my memoir where I had to put my dog, Rufus to sleep two years ago – yet another emotional earthquake in my life.
SO…..I come to this post with the knowledge that where I’m at today, thanks to the retrograde, is right where I’m supposed to be. It just helps to talk about it sometimes. Thanks to EF for giving us the forum to do so.
All the best to my fellow soul warriors.
Hey Darlin’s…
Little-to-no-time this morning, but two things beg for response.
This *has* been a most curiously emotional Merc Rx for me, even as I saw huge effects at another, organizational level. Like strata, they were separate but clearly responses to the same pressure.
I was born on one side of the Gulf – in a hospital room overlooking the Corpus Christi bay; my principal Consort born on the other side, in a town called Marianna (get the symmetry?). We have a particular connection to that womb. This is not the time for rage, just steady, clean, continuous psychic pressure on the wound. This problem is probably bigger than anything else on the Merc/Chiron map.
Skytruth, a consortium of engineers and retired pilots, are saying that the estimates of the spill are wildly misstated. Instead of 210,000 gallons a day, they are saying it is more on the order of half a million or more. Per day.
Steady as she blows. This will take a small quake to close up, so that’s where the attention is for now. Fortunately, this is pretty much inevitable as the lube for the deep plates continues to bleed out.
Catastrophic Love,
M
I felt like I was reliving the same shit, but this time with a little more clarity about how I feel about it and how it works or doesn’t FOR ME. Maybe a little of the Leo mix was necessary for this mid-sign Libran to sit up and pay attention to what is and isn’t. Saturn I am sure has something to do with it, and it hasn’t been all that unpleasant honestly. Growing up might be all it was cracked up to be.
On the personal front chiron merc rx has been about my daughter and dyslexia. She’s bright, intuitive, curious but struggles to frustration and headaches with reading and writing. I’ve known(or thought) that she’s dyslexic since kindergarten; the school has finally taken steps to evaluate and she now is eligible for special ed. I’m torn about this. In my research, special education can enforce the learning disabilities that are established by the dyslexic to get by, not master and understand the symbols that make up our written language. I’ve been reading about the Davis orientation method and it seems really interesting and progressive. Which is the direction she deserves, not the rote learning I fear she will get. Does anyone here have experience with this?
Any thoughts on her exact, to a few minutes, conjunction of merc and neptune in aquarius in her 9th. hmm
Pingback: Good morning America, it’s almost time for tea, England | Daily Astrology & Adventure by Eric Francis
For me it has been (has been? Still is) about food and shadow. I’m struggling with dieting for health reasons. I had an incredible breakthrough discovering Jasmuheen, a woman that has been living on prana for 14 years (see also Asha’s post!). Not that I want to live on prana, but I started doing the meditations she explains and felt a connection to the Divine Mother, Universe nourishment, soul nourishment, love… that I never felt before.
From there it took a series of paths, culminating in some readings and insights about the shadow. We have to EMBRACE our shadow, not fight it. This seemed to make an incredible difference. I stopped fighting it and hours later it seemed to lift up, leaving the space clear for joy, vitality, enthusiasm and clarity like it hadn’t been for years.
It gave me hope. Now I know the process.
There is also a part of this matter that regards the heart. Listening to its beating, listening for the nourishent it craves, relaxing and opening to life. Stop resistance.
Thanks.
Oh yeah, Eric – during the Scorpio full moon I wrote this, “Today I felt for the first time…Chiron, the son of Cronos (Cronos/Saturn, who was the son of Uranus – very Aquarian, those two). Chiron in Aquarius for me was learning the lesson that Time heals all wounds. A cliche phrase, but one that now I feel it..now that it has a particular meaning to me that I can’t really express…it’s just so deep. I began to wonder…who was Chiron’s mother? She was Philyra. She supposedly abandoned her son because of the way he looked, but something tells me this isn’t the whole story. She was an Oceanid..a water goddess. Chiron moving into Pisces…perhaps now we can begin to explore the lessons Chiron’s mother brings?”
My concept wasn’t one of just spending time, or after some time – wounds are healed through forgetfulness (we know some are, some aren’t)…but Time as a Titan.
It is so interesting to hear everyone’s reflections on their experience of this event. I woke up yesterday morning with hope that I would at last get some relief, but, to my dismay, it just continues apace. Two entries here especially struck and resonated with me: judebaker’s (ditto, jb, that insight has been with me for weeks now) and hypnotic’s (though I have to laugh because the first time I read it I thought it said still “crazy” and I was so relieved it wasn’t just me-then noticed it said “dizzy”). So for me I’d have to say the lesson is the same one that’s been in my ear-probably more accurate to say right in my heart-and growing stronger all along, that I need to get my head out of fantasyland, find my own two feet and stand on them. Period.
Oh goodness. Everything has just fallen into place. Gaslighting. There it is.
Thank you, Carrie.
I learned I really can trust my maternal instinct, and at the very same time I also got some clarity about ways I need to parent differently…and then proceeded to start making those changes. It’s been a positive if intense time at the personal level, with a very grounded feeling, but at the world level I feel deep sadness at the events I see unfolding.
This has been a bitch of a “Chiron Mercury Rx” (like the phrase, ef, and won’t soon forget it….). I can’t believe what amount of existential angst I felt and experienced, especially at the beginning of the Rx. Deep wells of tears and despair, and just looking at the truth that I have felt alone and alienated on many levels for most of my life. In my family and definitely in my adult years socially there is a pervasive sense of not really connecting with the people in my life. Or connecting deeply and then being cast aside on some unspoken level. Not feeling like anyone “has my back” and will join with me in this currently fucked up world. Feeling like no one really cares about everything that is happening. Teetering on the edge of financial Shitsville and coming to the realization how much I DO want to meet, connect, and/or create my family of choice. Thank GOD/DESS it’s over…..how did I get down in those dark and cold caverns? Merc. rx was in my 2nd house (which might explain the horrible financial strains) and Chiron just entered my 12th house/Pisces….deep healing anyone (watch out, it might hurt just a little bit….)??
My natal Eris sits in the last degree of the 12th-Aries 13 (Squaring Mars and opposite Pluto). She is definitely constantly showing me deep flashes from the dark cave of my Soul….especially lately. And my transiting Eris is about to conjunct my natal Chiron, so perhaps I am “healing” my Eris “Cast-Away” woman identity. This was a heavy duty dose of it and I pray the worst of it has passed.
Finally, despite every insecurity Eris has given me, and temporary moments of “insanity,” I have come to understand that I am a force to be reckoned with and that my soul group/family of choice is looking for me as much as I am trying to manifest them. I do have people who love me and whom I love, but I also deserve to create the life I want, as I truly want it. And I also have a duty to Serve, which I am trying my damndest to do.
What happened during this Merc Rx? Let me see…..
My computer got a glitch and no mouse would work on it so I had to take it to get fixed for $70.
I finally finished the five classes from hell that I thought would NEVER end….and I think I got an “A” in all of them.
My son has not had a lesson this entire time because of the “rigorous” college classes I had.
Dave’s computer caught a virus that sends bots back and forth and that killed all the drivers and the security system on it. It had to be unplugged from the hub; it is useless until my computer guru comes back in late May (yep, exactly when the shadow is done) and I have to pay AGAIN to have yet another computer fixed…last time I needed computers fixed was during the LAST Merc Rx. Backing them up did not help in either of these cases.
Dave’s student teaching went bad, then good, then bad again and today back to good. We have all been terrified during this because he must graduate and be certified so as to be able to get a job and support the family
A homeschooling mom tried to get me to help her start a new group but ended up gaslighting me; luckily for me a fellow PW reader explained about gaslighting so I could recognize it and not feel bad; this also made me see how much my mother and older brother did that to me over the years.
My cell phone died so I have had to get another one.
My friend’s computer got a virus and then later her laptop got one too.
My husband took part in the graduation ceremony (at his professor’s urging to do so) even though he was not sure if he would be able to graduate.
Qwest shut off my internet twice because of those damn bots that got into my husband’s computer, causing me to waste two days in order to run several scans on all three of the computers I have left that work.
Mother’s day was spent crying and worrying and feeling like I married a loser (yes, I know he is undiagnosed ADD but it doesn’t make dealing with the consequences of that any easier when it threatens our livlihood). He knew he had to get a lesson plan in by that Thursday but decided to do it HIS way which meant he didn’t get it done on time. This is not the first time he has been that stubborn (and I think it has cost him several jobs these past several years) but it was the first time I actively begged him to change and stop doing it because it was damaging the kids and I. It was a fine line between blaming him and just asking him to please stop doing things his way. It was also the first time he ever admitted to doing it and apologized for it.
Today, as Merc went direct, we found out that the new cooperating teacher and the university professor are finally happy with my husband’s student teaching because he started showing up at the school at 6 AM and staying until almost 5 PM. That was what they wanted all along but would not just come out and tell him.
Right now, there are two people that are going to get a karmic whack (not from me) because of the stressful grief they gave our family during this time. I would hate to be them.
What did I learn? These things:
People hide from you and themselves what they really want and then blame you when you don’t give it to them or when you figure out what they really want.
Human beings suck. My older brother, the (now deceased) computer guru used to say “Put a human being into any situation or equation and s/he will fuck something up.” He was RIGHT. What he didn’t say was “When they fuck it up, YOU will end up getting the fallout or the burn.”
Merc Rx SUCKS, costs me money I need for other necessities, drags me through emotional ups and downs, fucks up communication between people, kills computers, makes a few weeks of college courses feel like six months of hard labor, and just makes a damn nuisance of itself.
How was YOUR Merc Rx?
::::waiting for the other shoe to drop until the shadow phase is DONE::::
As per my comment on Len’s post below – glad its over. This one has been a doozy from start to finish but felt a shift yesterday afternoon so hopefully through the worst now…
Too much to put into words here but I did learn of a flag Hundertwasser designed as a peace flag for Palestine and Israel back in 1978.
Woa. This one passed over my Mars a few times on the 5th degree of Taurus. I got caught in the middle of a war between two women housemates with cat issues that was an emotional repeat of things that went down last summer. A couple of weeks ago this thursday my quick release front wheel came off while I was hopping a bump on one of Portland’s bike paths. I mostly landed on my right shoulder and banged my left thumb on the hand grip which made both of my arms useless in different ways. 2 guys who are also bikers stopped to help me figure out how to get to the bus and then to the hospital. Hooray for random strangers with good hearts. This was in the midst of making lots of repairs on a used bike I got fairly cheap so I could learn how to maintain it myself in the process of replacing/tuning up the old parts to make it a solid, fossil fuel free source of transportation. Evidently I didn’t tighten the quick release properly. Thanks to internal martial arts, acupuncture and herbs I was back on the wheels in 4 days. My bike was barely injured. It could have been much worse.
It made my right eye black and blue, with an eye of Horus curve of dark red that was the mirror image of when I got my nose broken last November (Mars has been in Leo for far too long!) with Sol in Scorpio.
This is all while I’m in my last term as a student so the financial aid will be no more at the same time I’m trying to establish classes in taiji at a Pilates studio owned by a friend and also private instruction. My mind has been so scattered by the house drama that I’ve only been able to manage stress and nurse my wounds let alone craft my business identity. We seem to have come to a truce for the moment at least so the fog clears and I just wrote and artist bio for a show some of my drawings found through the same friend who invited me to teach at her studio. I suppose the retrograde was like pulling back a bow string and now it’s about to release. My drawings appear in public starting on Thursday at River Organics on the 2800 block of NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd in Portland, Oregon.
I’d say that these past few weeks, barring a few low points, have seen me gaining significant ground – mainly in areas related to “seeing” things as they are, with particular emphasis on my personal relationships. Seeing plainly how things are around me – not what I imagine them to be, hope they are or fear they could become. I’ve come to see that as a source of “truth coming out” and one that I’ve really enjoyed. . . now I’m trying to figure out how to make that type of understanding translate into a more positive bank balance.
Hypnotic,
xo
there is no truth…there is no end, there is no center…. OMG I’m still dizzy. Ask me again next week…
What I have learned by way of heightened awareness and acceptance of truth:
I have been shortchanging myself my entire life in every way and despite being intellegent and strong, not able to overcome “something” that has kept me from myself.
Although I have been learning about this in dribs and drabs and ugly drawn out lessons over these many many years, it feels as though “suddenly” I carry a divining-rod of awareness with ” self-actuaiization” as it’s target.
sorry, left out an important peice of information. The man is a yogi and spends a lot of time meditating.
There is a news story from Ahmedhabad, India about a 82 year old man Prahlad Jani. The story is that this man has not consumed any food or drank water for last 65 years and he is perfectly fine healthwise. He was monitord by a team of neuro surgeons in 2003 and they confirmed that that was true. Now he is being monitord again by a team of neuro surgeons to further investigate the make up of his body and nervous system in the absense of consumption of any food or water and whether there is a same potential for other humans.
Off course a lot of people have dismissed this has a hoax, but then there are some believers as well. It may not or may not be true, but this kind of news coming out this year around this time could be giving us a message.
for me Mercury retrogade, chiron in pisces. – reflection, revelation and more awareness.
The one overarching realization that has sprung full formed, like Aphrodite has been this, “I don’t trust anyone to take care of me.” It’s a big phrase. Neither negative or positive, but could be interpreted as either. Somehow I think Chiron has more to say about this. I’ll be listening.