Dear Friend and Reader,

There’s a saying I picked up while living in Dublin that doesn’t go down very well State-side, but it’s apt for today’s news, so I’m going to use it despite the misinterpretation and consternation that I’m speaking negatively about breasts — I would never.

The Iberian-Lynx has a population of just 84 to 143 adults and has continued to decline due to a shortage of its primary prey, the European Rabbit.

Everything is going tits up (slang for “completely failed so as to become inactive”).

I’ll try to limit my definition of “everything,” for now, to: the environment, the McCain/Palin ticket and OJ Simpson. And, since it’s Yom Kippur, the Jewish Day of Atonement (also known as the day I tell my grandparents I’m fasting while I munch quietly on a bagel), I’ll deal with this list Hebrew style: right to left.

It’s not often I feel sympathy for murderers, but I actually feel bad for OJ Simpson. Imagine you’re a black man who murders his white ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend in a jealous rage, and you, by the miracle of god and, well, lots and lots of money, get away with it. Considering the fear of black-on-white violence in America, combined with the fact that 39.5 percent of inmates are black, while they only make up 12.8 percent of the total US population and the fact that he was guilty, OJ got pretty lucky.

The OJ Simpson murder trial went on when I was 11, and I remember walking home from school, making myself a disgusting snack that I could only get away with in the 30 minutes before my mom got home from work (popcorn drenched in butter, giant plate of pretzels with cheese melted in the microwave?!), and watching the details of it on the news. Everyone was obsessed with it: everyone at school, in the grocery store, The New York Times, the tabloids.

At first, I was into it because it was the murder trial of the Naked Gun guy (33 1/3 was released the year before). But then I was engrossed for the same reason as the rest of the country. We were obsessed because we knew. We KNEW he did it.

And when he got off, when that bloody glove was inadmissible, we were shocked, because it was the most obvious loss of justice. He swore to search for the rest of his life for the true killers. “Instead,” as The Statesmen writes in its op-ed, “he has spent inordinate time over the last decade searching amid the nation’s golf courses and resorts.”

Continue Reading »

CNN has now reported that Obama won the debate: 59 to 35 percent, based on votes from viewers. He also led by an obvious margin on important topics like the economy and foreign policy.

Dear Friend and Reader,

The second presidential debate was held tonight at Belmont University in Nashville, Tennessee, facilitated by Tom Brockaw, and with an audience of 80 uncommitted voters, ready to present their questions.

The old angry guy speaks, while the young guy waits to lead us into the future. (AP Photo/Mark Humphrey)

McCain kept wandering around the stage as Obama spoke, looking lost and disoriented. He rambled on, repeating himself about $5,000 refundable tax credits towards health care. 

He took pot shots at Obama, with passive aggressive comments about fining families for not having health care coverage for their children, even after Obama explained himself eloquently.

He repeated the usual statements like “pork barrel spending,” Obama’s “on-the-job training” and “earmarks.” As CNN reporter Paul Begola stated, he seemed erratic.

Likening Obama to Herbert Hoover for raising taxes (which Obama isn’t going to do) made it seem like McCain’s the only person old enough to understand the joke.

Meanwhile, Obama presented himself as an adult: calm, controlled and measured in a speaking format he’s apparently less familiar with than McCain is.

When addressing the issue of terrorist cells in Pakistan, things got heated. McCain likened himself to his hero Teddy Roosevelt and his famous motto “speak softly and carry a big stick.” When hearing this, Obama couldn’t stay quiet any longer and insisted on a rebuttal, where he reminded the audience that McCain is the one that spoke about bombing Baghdad in the early days of invading Afghanistan, and sang “Bomb bomb bomb, bomb bomb Iran” — not exactly the definition of speaking softly. Continue Reading »

Dear Friend and Reader,

As I watched highlights of the vp debates on YouTube, I was struck with sadness after hearing Biden and Palin’s exchange on the topic of gay marriage.

Neither of them has any interest in full legal equality for same-sex couples. I knew their policies already, but to hear it stated so firmly: “no,” made me feel quite worthless and undeserving. I wasn’t alive for the debates over Loving v. Virginia, which legalized marriage between different ethnicities, but I’d imagine I know how they feel.

I’m not particularly interested in marriage myself, it’s more the fact that everyone around me — from Britney Spears and Keven Federline to my close college buddy who works as a dominatrix and recently hooked up with a much older guy who doesn’t wake up until six in the evening — has the right to get hitched and I don’t.

Why are they allowed into this “sanctimonious” institution when measly old me, in the same, mostly-stable partnership for three years, sits around the family table with all these other couples (who are straight), and babysits for her siblings’ children, but is stuck in a group with Ellen Degeneres and her lovely wife (only in the state of California) Portia, with no right to “make it honest” in any nationally-recognized sense?

This brings me to the children part. Continue Reading »

Dear Friend and Reader,

After sundown last night, the Senate voted on a new version of the $700 billion bailout bill, and it passed 74-25. Barack Obama and John McCain were present, both voting affirmatively. In fact, the only person who wasn’t present was Ted Kennedy, who is recovering from surgery. (For a full run-down, click here for the list of “yeas” and “nays”).

The US Capital building, where the Senate meets in Washington, DC.

The next move is the vote in the House of Representatives, which is scheduled for tomorrow. The general feeling is that the bill will pass the second time around, particularly after some changes were made, such as $100,000 in tax breaks for the middle class and businesses; plus, the bailout seems less slapped-together, appearing to have a bit more concern for the taxpayer than it did initially.

Word that a major, unnamed-to-the-press, insurance company is about to topple may push the bill on ahead as well.

“The heart of the bill, and the opposition to it,” Breitbart reports, “remained the same. It would enable the government to spend billions of dollars to buy bad mortgage-related securities and other devalued assets held by troubled financial institutions. If successful, advocates say, that would allow frozen credit to begin flowing again and keep the economy from a deep recession.”

Reports stating that the bill is now 451 pages long, as opposed to the measly three pages it started out with (keep in mind we’re talking about $700 billion here), suggests we should do more research and get back to you on what’s changed. Check back in later today and I’ll have some more information for you.

Yours & truly,

Dear Friend and Reader,

I wish I was married to Nancy Pelosi, the speaker of the House of Representatives.

Nancy Pelosi and husband Paul, who is $99,000 richer than he was last year. (Gerald Herbert/AP)

Then I could treat her really well and, in return, she could give me $99,000 from her political action committee. One sec, I’m just going to check if she believes in gay marriage.

…

She does! (Check out Pelosi’s voting record here, she’s a liberal’s wet dream: no to defining marriage between a man and a woman, no to banning partial birth abortion, no on making the Patriot Act permanent, etc.)

Unfortunately, she’s taken, so Paul F. Pelosi has already capitalized by becoming treasurer of Nancy’s committee in 2007, and getting close to four times the previous treasurer for services rendered. Last year, she wanted to ban the practice of paying spouses with campaign funds.

I guess I’ll have to wait for another liberal, and semi-hypocritical, female politician to come along. Anyone know if Belinda Stronach is available?

Yours & truly,