…but first, a mental/emotional health check-in. Not only did we all live through the past week, we experienced the astrology in the context of our own charts. Our entire society, which now extends its nervous system through the Internet, was affected by what happened, by what we saw and heard, even if only through imagery. Images of mass carnage, whether real or fabricated, have been circulating on the Internet; presumed as real, they have an impact.
We were also shown the example of a major American city first under the influence of terrorists, then under martial law. There are political implications to this, and there are personal ones at the same time. If you’re thinking that the use of two bombs justified the house arrest of more than a million people, and that everyone acted voluntarily, please think more slowly.
These ideas would best be phrased as questions rather than as statements. Was that governmental response justified? What was the emotional cost, and the price we paid in our freedom?
Many people who lived through having their homes searched are emotionally traumatized. They may never think of the concept of ‘home’ the same way again. Our social contract in the United States is clear. “The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated…” Was the response we witnessed reasonable, in the moral and legal sense of the word? We need to have a long conversation with our neighbors about this.
We also need a national conversation. What we witnessed in Boston, from the improvised explosive devices to the firefights in urban areas to the door-to-door searches, is what the American government has been involved with in Afghanistan and Iraq for more than 10 years. The war literally came home to Boston and its suburbs. We don’t like bombs going off in our public places and I hope we don’t like armored vehicles, SWAT teams in our homes or high-powered rifles going off in the streets. It’s time to ask when we’re going to stop doing this to other countries. It’s also time for ‘non-political’ people to raise questions about the conduct of our leaders, both at home and in other countries.
It’s time to learn how to not feel like an asshole for actually caring and for being willing to speak up, including when it’s considered socially inappropriate.
Experiencing the Astrology Personally
Speaking from an astrological standpoint, the Aries stellium that’s currently morphing into a Taurus stellium has been influencing everyone’s chart. This has been a push to find ourselves and assert ourselves, which is more comfortable for some people than for others. It’s easier to handle in the context of some relationships than it is in the context of others.
This astrology will persist even as the Sun, Venus and Mars move through Taurus, which they now are. The remaining influence in Aries will be Mercury, which is suggesting that we talk out the issues in a direct, but if possible noncompetitive, way. One question is, can you be who you really are in your relationship(s)? If not, how do you compensate for that? Are you aware of your points of compromise, and how do you feel about them?
Taurus emphasizes the theme of possession. This is often an issue in relationships, which are often based on this concept. Much of our concept of law is based on possession and private ownership. Much of our concept of marriage is about property and people treated as property; most of our relationship styles derive from the concept of marriage, particularly where sex is involved. We have so few examples and so little in the way of experience with something else that it’s difficult to even consider the concept — and when we do, it often comes with a blast of insecurity.
In a sense, we depend on jealousy to provide a boundary in our relationships. Many people don’t do things (such as associate with others) based on their fear of jealousy, or the fear of their partner doing something ‘in retaliation’ or ‘because they can, now that you’ve done it’.
Venus is now in Taurus, the sign of its rulership (classical term) or its ‘home territory’ (modern term). Venus is making many aspects this week, including an opposition to Saturn. That has a serious tone, and a caution about loss and the fear of loss. It may feel like facing the sensation of the worst possible outcome, or of giving up something precious. Then that passes, and Venus moves on to many other aspects, including a conjunction to an original asteroid (as in, one of the first four), Pallas Athene.
Pallas Athene is about politics and negotiation, and with Venus involved, it’s about love; in Taurus, the specific topic is possession. There is a need to be self-possessed that’s described, even if that means some form of withholding or shying away from sexual contact (which can create attachment, or be expressed as part of attachment). It will be helpful to know what sex means to you, and also what it’s a token of.
As C.T. Butler pointed out in a Planet Waves interview, we’re accustomed to ‘majority rules’ concepts of organizing society, but in a group of two, there is no majority. We tend to solve that by one party dominating the other, or by some kind of power-sharing arrangement.
As for desire. This is a force so powerful, it scares the bejesus out of many people, is off-putting to many, turns some into petty tyrants, and is stuffed into denial by others. To some it’s a moral issue; to those lacking self-esteem, wanting and being wanted are deep emotional triggers. The combination of Venus, Mars, the Sun and Pallas in Taurus is asking the question of how you deal with desire, and being desired, in many different forms.
I will leave you with this in question form. How do you feel when you’re desired by someone? What do your rules say about when it’s OK and when it’s not? What do you do with the power that being desired gives you over someone, and what do you do when in desiring someone, you give up your own power?
We’ll continue this discussion tomorrow and in Tuesday’s edition of Planet Waves FM.
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This is an interesting discussion. I just thought I’d share a psychic’s feelings on her blog about the whole thing. It seems to validate Eric’s first chart on the bombings being of a suspicious origin. I take everything with a grain of salt until verified by details, but I think this is worth pondering, even for 5 minutes. http://psychicfocus.blogspot.com/2013/04/can-you-please-do-reading-on-boston.html
I want to remind all readers that there has not been a trial in the Boston Marathon case, nor has there been an investigation that has lasted more than nine days. We do not know for sure who did this, or why.
And thank you, Lizzy 🙂
Daniel, thank you for that! I never thought I’d see a successful update of “Who’s on First?” That was epic. I’m going to go watch it again.
Getcalm, no need for alarm 😉 … the authorities found the equipment to make more bombs, the brothers had more made to use right away and they killed a cop trying to escape. Their agenda had a bigger conclusion. I’m grateful it didn’t get to that point.
Daniel – you may be intense, but you’ve got a sense of humor to match| And you’re a bit cheeky, too – sticking that youtube clip in the middle of a thread like this. Thanks dear, I needed this right now. You reminded me that life is a serious (and often scary) thing, but that one should never take oneself too seriously. And you bear that in mind too!
Loved your wise comment too, Strawberry.
SaggSun wrote: “It was unknown what else they were capable of and, rightfully so, we were scared.”
I have heard people who were alive during WWII, when American citizens of Japanese descent living on the West Coast were rounded up and hauled off to the internment camps and their possessions taken from them without due process or remuneration, say essentially the same thing: “But you don’t understand. We were scared. We had to do that.”
Regardless of whatever the government’s motivation might be, are we that incapable of dealing with our feelings (including fear) in a mature manner? FDR said during the great depression, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”. Apparently in 21st century America, that’s enough to freak us out completely.
Between the eager acceptance of martial law and the “mob justice by social media”, I’m just not sure what to think about it all. Even progressive writers and commentators who are normally rational and levelheaded seem to have gotten lost.
SaggSun, I get that it felt scary to be in the midst of all that and staying inside felt safer. I am not questioning what it felt like to be caught in the midst of such chaos, I am questioning whether the creation of such chaos was predictable just by publishing the photos. When I heard the news conference, I thought, what are they nuts, that could create chaos!!
Really … the FBI & CIA couldn’t ID these guys and sort out a way to nab them without creating a full blown chaotic scene like this? Especially without any precautions, and then they just happened to be ready to institute martial law, lockdown a major US city and bring in tanks? But they couldn’t mobilize resources in the wake of the last storm that was predicted for days? To say there wasn’t some kind of way to avoid (or predict the possibility) of the city-wide chaos and lockdown tells me that (if that is true) we have a serious failure going on in the decision making of our highest law enforcement. And, I don’t think so, this sure looks odd, given the “we got ’em, oops no we don’t” press conference. Too many odd looking things to not at least be questioning what the hell happened and how do we not end up here again.
Living in AZ (where we have a wacky Sheriff Joe Arpaio and an equally nuts state legislature and Governor just itching for reasons to further stomp on liberties and declare martial law, it sure felt worrisome to me to see how a major city (not a small town even) could get shut down and ordered to stay inside and let the armored tanks and police do what they will without warrants or even question! Made me wonder which nutty politicians and power hungry law enforcement dudes were salivating at how easy this was!
For that reason (would you like this repeat to go carte blanche without even a question in every town or city across the nation???) we should all be asking the questions and holding feet to the fire for answers.
Speaking of all that glitters, check out what gold was doing on the day of the bombing:
http://www.kitco.com/charts/popup/au0030lnb.html
Usually gold goes UP when things go wonky and scary… so who was dumping gold when all eyes were turned towards Boston and did they benefit from having everyone distracted?
High-five Strawberry! That NIN bit made me spit up some evening tea! I also think she liked my intensity, well she said so anyway. Thanks for being in my corner, ’cause it’s just me here talkin’ to myself. And it’s starting to look a lot like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Arf2TxeYPDs
Thanks a lot Bradley. Fascinating stuff these midpoints. 15 Gemini is also the degree where transiting Venus occulted transiting Sun last June. Mars was square the Sun-Venus conjunction that day and the Moon was occult Pluto too. They squared Uranus. We can’t say the planets didn’t warn us!
be
be-
I think you’ll find Ed Tamplin’s analysis of current events and the Sibley chart quite interesting. Particularly his reference to 15 Gemini, appropo your Chiron observations.
Sorry; go to edtamplin.com and pull up ‘weekly update’, if anyone is not already familiar with his site.
Bradley
“The Sun speaks for Chiron tonight, offering this yod (adjustment) of consciousness between Mercury (talking) and Jupiter (understanding) and the north node (path to growth) as a gift from the healing centaur. All the rest is just icing on the cake.”
the most soothing words i’ve read all day.
thanks, be.
Daniel, you make me laugh out loud. I LOVE your focus. You do offer up some intensity, though–maybe it was the intensity itself that made her run (and maybe you’re only sharing the intensity with us & not her, and I’m wrong.) It’s like you’ve got your mood music set to Nine Inch Nails, rather than some sweet-ass Marvin Gaye.
You sound a little like I do when some anti-feminist stuff comes at me–I lose my shit. Because deep down, I don’t really believe I deserve the equality I want. I hope I’m not offending you, because I do absolutely appreciate your pain. But I wonder if you might be able to come down off the fire of this a bit by working to truly give yourself the permission you’re seeking. Again, if I’m completely wrong, please disregard all of this and just know that I’m in your corner.
Tonight, after 11 PM EDT, the Sun will reach the degree and minute of Chiron’s discovery degree. I don’t know what you would call it – it’s not a return – but I thought it would be worth taking a look at due to recent events in the U.S. A chart set for Washington DC for when the Sun would be at 3 Taurus 8 has 15 Sagittarius rising, close to the U.S. Sibly rising degree of 12 Sagittarius. Tonight’s chart has Jupiter, the ruler of the chart, at 15 Gemini on the descendant, giving prominence to “the other”. Jupiter is sextile Mercury at 14 Aries in the 4th house of home, land and security. Jupiter and Mercury form a yod to the north node at 16 Scorpio in the 11th house of like-minded groups and friends. This might suggest that individuals talking and thinking things through with partners would be advantageous to forming groups that share resources. At least that’s one way of looking at it.
The Sun itself is in the 5th house of children and conjunct Venus at 9 Taurus and we could read that as a love or value of children. Venus opposes Saturn retrograde at 8 Scorpio who is also in the 11th house with the north node. Saturn can be restriction or it can be protection but either way it does inhibit expansion. In this chart there is a message of conflict between our love of our children and protection.
Chiron at 12 Pisces is in the 3rd house of neighbors, and family members and communication. At 12 Pisces his tightest aspect is with Pluto at 11 Capricorn in the first house of self identification. Pluto brings to mind ancient and unconscious fears and, coupled with Chiron in an easy aspect in this chart, there is a suggestion that communicating these fears enables healing of those fears.
The MC of this chart for tonight is at 4 Libra and very close to the U.S. Sibly MC of 1 Libra. Neptune at 4 Pisces and also in the 3rd house of communicating is quincunx the MC, as well as being sextile to the Sun in Chiron’s discovery degree of 3 Taurus. These three points form a yod. With the MC so close the U.S. midheaven, a place that describes how one is seen by the rest of the world, it appears that the U.S. could be viewed (as a whole) to be compelled by a love of being protected while not seeing things all that clearly. Yods call out for adjustment to circumstances.
The Moon in this chart is at 27 Virgo and very near the MC. Moon symbolizes the People and emotions and family and mom and memories, and this Moon aspects the U.S. Sibly Moon at 27 Aquarius through a quincunx which, once again, requires adjustment. Tonight’s Moon trines the U.S. Sibly Pluto at 28 Capricorn hinting that transformation is a practical if not profitable thing to do because of their placements in earth signs.
Chiron’s birth chart has Neptune at 14 Sagittarius sextile Pluto at 15 Libra (+ the NN) and combined with tonight’s south node at 16 Taurus they form a yod. South node is a place of release and the north node, in tonight’s case at 16 Scorpio, is a place of growth. Mercury in the Chiron discovery chart is at 17 Scorpio looks to be offering a method of reaching that place of growth. Mercury in TONIGHT’S chart at 14 Aries is opposite the U.S. Saturn at 14 Libra and square the U.S. Sun at 13 Cancer, leaving an open leg in Capricorn. All too soon (2014) transiting Pluto in Capricorn will oppose the U.S. Sun and square the U.S. Saturn forcing decisions and actions that have been put off for too long by this country. At that time transiting Uranus will reach the degree Mercury is in tonight and a breakthrough in what we talk about now will lead us to greater understanding.
The Sun speaks for Chiron tonight, offering this yod (adjustment) of consciousness between Mercury (talking) and Jupiter (understanding) and the north node (path to growth) as a gift from the healing centaur. All the rest is just icing on the cake.
be
In this article, I am not proposing a “conspiracy theory.” I am asking whether the conduct of the government followed its own rules, and suggesting that we ask ourselves and one another the same question.
We can save the motives and the questions of who benefits for another time. The action taken by the government was presumably because what was done was illegal. The government is also required to follow its own laws.
I have never posted on here before but I felt compelled to do so after reading this article and comments. I live in Cambridge, MA. The 2 suspects lived about a mile from me. I have good friends that live blocks from where the suspect was found. While I too believe people should question the behavior of our government there is a point when conspiracy theories are just not based in reality. The suggestion that the lockdown was purposely done, or was too much of a reaction, is not shared by those of us that live here and feared that more innocent people were going to die. These guys were dangerous and and all day Friday one of them was unaccounted for in our neighborhoods. It was unknown what else they were capable of and, rightfully so, we were scared. I can tell you people I know that had SWAT teams in their house were not emotionally traumatized, but grateful for the help the police provided. I can also tell you that we all wanted this guy to be captured and the best thing to do was to stay inside and stay out of the way of the police so they could focus on finding the suspect.
Eric, thank you for a wonderful discussion as always. You give me much to think on.
susyc, thank you for sharing, and I do hope things will turn into an amazing new chapter for you both.
For myself, I’m still torn about whether my choices with my friend were sound. I miss her a lot and that based more on the lovely bond we were starting to form. Or did I imagine it all? I was asking for some commitment, but in the form of showing up and giving some support in return. It made me uncomfortable to be vulnerable with her and then hit a wall. I think it was appropriate to make the call because don’t two people have to be vulnerable together and honor that process in a mutual way? Trust me, I hung out in “unconditional” territory for a time. And it’s not like I wanted payback. And why am I justifying my desires here?? Because I’m trying to be kind. It’s not all about me I know. But there’s a time when blowing kisses in earlobes naked under the sheets needs to be replaced with lovely things like mutual oral sex and masturbation. And if someone is going to be afraid of seeing me cum, well then maybe I am right in my feelings. I spent the greater part of my life feeling either ashamed or insecure of my own sexual desires, I don’t need it perpetuated. I want that door open – not shut, or worse, closed in my face. So before it got nasty, I spoke up and walked away. And now I feel like a jerk.
Here is the opening paragraph of Benjamin Fulford’s weekly report. Ben was Asian desk editor for Forbes Magazine and has successfully predicted a number of things including the stepping down of the pope a year in advance.
“A member of the Japanese Yakuza was contacted by members of the cabal
last week and told to inform the White Dragon Society that “after
Kennedy and Bush would come Ronald Reagan, Bill Clinton and one
other.” Since the Boston terror psy-ops included a bombing of the
Kennedy Library and the missile attack in Texas took place close to
the Bush ranch, the warning seems to be a hint that some major attacks
linked to these two other presidents and “one other,” were planned for
the near future.”
or plant bombs…
And as always, it’s necessary to go to the root of the problem – whether mentally unhinged or used by some terrorist outfit, what drives these young men to pick up guns and kill?
Thanks for the extract from Democracy Now, Amanda. Reading it helped me get things clearer in my head. Whether the brothers acted on their own or were part of a terrorist network – surely it comes down to the same thing, that they grew up in a culture of hatred and fear. Can’t help thinking of similarities between these men and the London bombers, in July 2005.
I think it is too easy to state what Eric stated, that is was too big of a response by government. It is EASY to look at an event with 20-20 hindsight. It is easy to crawl out of the wreckage of a storm and say, “whew … that could have been worse, so why did we do that?” But in the middle of that storm it’s not so easy to know where you are or where you are going or what is dangerous and what is not. Nothing else happened. Thus the response seems wayyyyyyyy out of proportion to the event.
But was it? Really?
I agree with Eric in that we must evaluate what happened. A national conversation IS needed. Miranda rights were stripped. How did that happen? Seriously? How did that happen? But did the police overstep their search? Part of me says yes. Part of me says no, specifically for the reasons Eric suggests.
And it tears at me that I’m not certain how I feel.
from the NY Times:
BREAKING NEWS Monday, April 22, 2013 1:42 PM EDT
Boston Bomb Suspect to Be Tried in Civilian Court, White House Says
“Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the surviving suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings, will not be tried as an enemy combatant, the White House said on Monday. “We will prosecute this terrorist through our civilian system of justice,” said Jay Carney, the White House press secretary.
“Mr. Carney noted that it was illegal to try an American citizen in a military commission, and that a number of high-profile terrorism cases were handled in the civilian court system, including that of the would-be bomber who tried to bring down a passenger jet around Christmas 2009 with explosives in his underwear.
“Mr. Carney said the government had gotten “valuable intelligence” from suspects kept in the civilian judicial process. “The system has repeatedly proven it can handle” such cases, he said.”
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/22/us/boston-marathon-bombing-suspects-hoped-to-attack-again.html?emc=na
I am feeling a great sadness today and it does feel tied to healing…something. And all these questions you pose are exactly what I need to explore and feel deeply now. i will contribute more.
and on the other side of the coin, a moving segment on forgiveness and healing from tragedy. the full transcript was not available yet, but you can watch the video. i think hearing this man’s words in his own voice has more impact, anyway.
http://www.democracynow.org/2013/4/22/apartheid_regime_bomb_victim_father_michael
here is the summary from the top of the segment:
from today’s Democracy Now, reinforcing some of the points and questions that eric raises — including the power of these images we’ve all been ingesting for a week:
GLENN GREENWALD: The assumption seems to be that this is terrorism. Everybody is running around calling these two brothers terrorists. Aside from the fact that it assumes their guilt, which we shouldn’t be doing, we know almost nothing about what it is that motivated them to go and do what they did. You know, when non-Muslims commit horrific crimes, whether it’s shooting far more people and killing them in Aurora in a movie theater or elementary school children in Sandy Hook or eight people in Tucson, Arizona, where Gabrielle Giffords was shot, quickly, soon as we find out they’re not Muslim, the idea is: Well, this isn’t terrorism; this is just people snapping, becoming mentally ill.
The only thing that we really know about these two brothers, in terms of what might have motivated them, is that they identify as Muslim. And at least the older brother seems to have been associated with Islam, although the younger brother doesn’t really seem to have. And yet there’s this assumption—and that’s the whole debate—is that this is nonetheless an act of terrorism. There’s no indication that they have any association of any kind with designated terrorist organizations, any contact with those organizations, no indication that radical political or religious beliefs in any way motivated them to do what they did. It’s possible that that’s the case, but it’s possible it didn’t.
And yet, the rush to declare this terrorism, I think, reflects the reality that all terrorism really means—politically, culturally and even legally—is it’s a special category of crime committed by Muslims that result in a whole deprivation of all kinds of rights and protections that is reflected in the current debate. And that is what I think is the most dangerous and enduring aspect of this entire last week, is the continued bolstering of the idea that terrorism is essentially nothing more than crimes committed by Muslims.
AMY GOODMAN: Glenn, I wanted to turn to former CIA Deputy Director Philip Mudd. On Sunday, he told Fox News Boston bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev should be charged as a murderer, not a terrorist.
PHILIP MUDD: What I fear, though, is that people too quickly are going to categorize this as terrorism. This looks more to me like Columbine than it does like al-Qaeda: two kids who radicalize between themselves in a closed circle and go out and commit murder. I would charge these guys as murderers, not terrorists.
AMY GOODMAN: That’s your point. That is the former CIA Deputy Director Philip Mudd. He also said he should be Mirandized and that helps get information, he said.
GLENN GREENWALD: Right. I mean, I think one of—one of the really important things to note about this last week is I think we haven’t really appreciated the whole significance of what this last week will entail for our political culture and sort of how we think about these issues. I happened to be traveling in the U.S. this last week throughout the U.S., and everywhere I went, in hotels and airports and restaurants, people were completely glued to this—the television for the entire week, people who are often politically apathetic.
There are very few political events where everyone in the United States pays attention politically, and these are the events that really shape how they think about their relationship to the government, what to expect from the government.
And the images that were sent and the messages that were broadcast over and over and over again were that Muslims were a unique threat, that we ought to be not just tolerant, but grateful, when the U.S. military and police and other authorities fill our streets, shut down our major cities, ride through and go house to house without search warrants, forcing people to come out of their homes and searching their homes—all sorts of application of very extreme sort of police and military tactics, all in the name of Islamic terrorism.
And the idea that we should just rush to call this terrorism, that we should essentially assume their guilt, that we should suspend normal legal process, that we should treat it differently, is all very much the core of what has driven the radicalism and extremism of the United States government over the last decade. And I really believe that this incident will sort of normalize behavior that we should all be very wary of, even in the most extreme conditions, let alone an incident that, although horrific and heinous, in terms of the death count, in terms of what it actually is, really ought to be viewed as a crime.
KathyC, With deference to the fact that we have differing opinions, I feel alarmed to read the words that you are “proud” of a city locked down by fear. Whenever I hear or read people using patriotic language at a moment when there is still unclear information, I am mindful that the machine is creating a coalition of “get behind the flag” rhetoric. No one knows with certainty that these two men were planning more attacks, the story (and I chose the word ‘story’ on purpose) is still being woven as evidenced by how much it is changing moment by moment. I would not want this lock down to spread throughout our cities as easily as it did in Boston. From afar, it was shocking to see how quickly a major city was frozen in place & offered up its homes to armed inspections. It scared me to think that scene was so readily accepted as “necessary” & made me reflect on the prediction of it I saw portrayed in a documentary film (the Shock Doctrine) based on Naomi Klein’s book. At the very least, Eric’s suggestion that we engage as active citizens in discussing “was this necessary?”. “was there another way?”. “what is the REAL story?” not just what we are asked to swallow as flag-waving Americans threatened by a barely believable drama. It looked too much like Hollywood-created drama to be real. Keep asking the questions, instead of feeling proud of mass submission and automatic acceptance of unbelievable story lines.
I, for one, am not willing to accept that this scene is what it is portrayed to be, nor that the response was necessary, measured, nor anything other than a test to see how much and how quickly we would submit our liberties to. In my view, we failed the test by getting swept away in mass hysteria. I am not sure what the better response would be, but that’s why I am certain the dialogue needs to keep the focus on more than patriotic pride and praising heroism that may not be all t seems.
Eric: Thank you so very much for your masterful analysis of how the astrology has been correlating with events in recent days. This piece is an understated yet comprehensive achievement, and a courageous triumph of clarity over confusion.
Thank you Lizzy. I hope so. Kathy C., I often wonder how people “in the thick of it” must feel. Thank you for reflecting on that.
Boston is my childhood stomping grounds(Cambridge, actually). My family is peppered throughout Cambridge, Boston and Brighton. I took a slight offense at the term, “think more slowly’ when it comes to how things were handled. I am more proud of that city now than I’ve ever been. They did what they had to do to conclude this attack. They were brave and the lockdown was to lessen collateral damage. The brothers had more plans to terrorize and it was nipped in the bud. please read up on the specifics of the conclusion. I don’t feel like an asshole for speaking up, even tho it is socially inappropriate to do so. 😉
Thanks for this great piece Eric!
Much much love and hugs to you and your husband, dear Susy. I’m sure it will all go well. Keep us posted.
Typos and all, it’s a beautiful PlanetWaves, some of it mirroring exactly what I am going through, my husband’s prostate cancer and my fear vacillating between losing him altogether and losing our sex life due to his upcoming prostectomy. Hopefully some nerves will be spared and we will adapt as we have many times before. In the meantime, I am in pain. At least, now that I am well-acquainted with grief, I know the thinking, the bargaining, the imaginary fixes, and the need to let it all flow through with charity and forgiveness for myself and everyone around me as much as possible. For me, sex is a triumph, a reclamation of a part of myself almost destroyed, and I am beyond grateful for the part my husband played in that process. There are an infinite number of ways to make love. I hope to explore a few more of them with my kind man.