Note, here is the Small World Stories entry on Chariklo.
Have you ever been in a situation where, say, someone with a great deal of influence in your life was undermining your confidence? And did it occur to you that ultimately you were the one responsible for letting them act out your insecurity — and letting it affect you? It’s one possible illustration of how relational energy can play out, in this case suggested by a particular opposition in astrology. With any opposition, we perceive tension or conflict as being outside of ourselves, between us and another person. But really, if we ask the right questions, we can follow the thread into ourselves – and the answers we find may change the game.
The Pisces Sun is making an opposition to the asteroid Psyche in mid-Virgo. (This is also where retrograde Mars will also be in a few days; stop and think if you feel provoked.) Sun-Psyche speaks of a loss of faith in oneself – and perhaps the perception (ultimately false) that this faith cannot be reclaimed.
For example, it can be a dicey situation to allow yourself to be surrounded by insecure people even if you tend to be confident, because that choice of companions can begin to undermine your perception of yourself. Another permutation could be that a confident person who surrounds himself with insecure people is showing himself not to be confident at all, based on who he hangs out with. That is, the company he keeps tells a different story from the one he tells himself as being ‘a confident person’.
Extrapolate this into intimate, one-on-one relationships. If there is a deep, old wound to one’s sense of self, confidence or self-esteem, it can be easy for that to get played out in relationship after relationship. It becomes a pattern. And here’s where the Sun-Psyche opposition gets even more interesting: another minor planet called Chariklo is making a square from mid-Sagittarius to both Sun and Psyche. Chariklo in myth was the nymph-wife of the centaur Chiron. Though not a centaur herself, the astronomical body bearing her name is a centaur planet in deference to her relationship to Chiron. Chariklo was strikingly devoted, all through Chiron’s long phase of being wounded and subsequent choice to make a deal with the gods to transcend his suffering and die. One of the key themes of Chariklo in astrology is devotion.
So with Chariklo in aspect to a Sun-Psyche opposition, there is a question of what a person may be devoted to right now. And the fact that it is a square indicates a more internally-felt tension around this devotion, one that some sort of action may resolve. By any chance are you perpetuating a pattern that does not serve you? Maybe you’re devoted to a situation in which, once you’re able to recognize dysfunction and name it, you can start making decisions. With that, things may start looking — and being — functional.
This same message is coming through a number of ways right now. For one, Venus opposite Saturn is asking us to consider how our relationships are structured and whether they serve us (or our partner). There is the question of your inner experience of the situation – and whether a shift in your conception or perception of the relationship is actually what needs to change. That could be all it takes to create the space needed to step out of codependency or rigidity and start living in a healthier relationship space. It’s about taking responsibility for yourself as you relate to another. First, you have to see how you relate to yourself.
Also note that Mercury is conjunct Vesta (Mercury enters Aries Friday, and the conjunction is exact Tuesday). Mercury and Vesta in Aries ask: What do you think you have to sacrifice? If the answer seems to be ‘your power’, ‘your self-determination’, ‘your confidence’ or anything along those lines, take a step back and reconsider. Be aware of all your interpersonal transactions in these days. There is the potential for some very solid ground to emerge.
Note: You can see a 90-degree sort for tomorrow’s aspects here at Serennu.com.
Susyc,
Your post helped me make sense of this article. I have been a “fixer” of broken people as well but in the last few years, I have found myself fixing less and less. I seem to have a stop switch which allows me to be helpful to others but no longer fix them. For example, I often facilitate people who are moving to Flagstaff; I enjoy handing them information about this place. This is modeled after the military service of “host families” who help show new arrivals the ropes in foreign countries. Host families are assigned but I chose to take up this because I genuinely like it and like talking about this area. At first, I got way too involved with the families I helped; I would see their issues and try to help them fix themselves. In the last few years I have stopped doing that. I recently facilitated a family wherein the wife feels insecure about herself and her marriage. Instead of trying to “fix” her, I said and did nothing. That was really new for me. It didn’t feel bad either; I just don’t feel responsible for fixing people anymore. This is her life and her issue to fix, not mine.
I applied this change in me to my daughters too. I used to want to fix everything for them when they were little. Now that they are in college, they sometimes get upset about assignments but instead of jumping in to help them, I have offered sympathy and advice if they need it but not help. I feel that to step in and help robs them of the chance to struggle through and feel a sense of accomplishment when they get to the other side. I told them why I wasn’t helping so they would know it wasn’t out of a sense of not caring but rather out of a knowledge that they must do this themselves. They have been doing very well and I am glad I backed off because they are feeling really accomplished.
This stepping back gives me more time to get myself in line. I still help people; I will always be a giving person but now I know when to stop and when to give. That is priceless.
Late commenting, mea culpa, but I need to thank susyc for her comments which struck a chord with me about “fixing” things. I was handed that lesson, along with my head, on a platter almost seven years ago. I appreciate the reminder to “keep my sticky fingers” to myself (in the words of a former spiritual advisor), and to emply empathy and not sympathy. Meanwhile, I’ll go back to pondering if I have known a male who wasn’t wounded. Or femaile for that matter.
Too true about the “applied astrology” of the PW clan. Thanks. JannKinz
Ugh!!!! Sooo accurate. I wish I had read this this morning so i could have been prepared…Well, tomorrow’s another day!
🙂
Sun in 12th House at Aquarius 12, Mars in 1st House at Aries 12, MC in the 9th at 13 Sag. It’s been quite a ride, this office move, and all sorts of energy rising on the emotional front. Would love it if the cross could get me juice to re-organize the closets in my house and in my mind.
And thank you PW writers. Thank you for your devotion, your willingness to look at the hard stuff, your willingness to speak such deep psychological truths.
I have had a consistent tendency to blame my husband for not supporting me in my dreams and endeavors. That’s a great description of “letting (him) act out (my) insecurity — and letting it affect (me)…” and how I project my insecurity onto him and then blame him for it. Last night I had a very telling dream about one of the many ways in which I mistreat myself, how I set myself up for failure, and lose faith in myself. There was a very distinct moment in that dream when I backed out and away from those behaviors. The effect of that dream has moved into my day, allowing me to make better choices and accept intelligent feedback from my sister whom I tend to think of as not being especially competent a lot of the time. Maybe I project my feelings of incompetency onto her. Wow. Now there’s an insight! I am taking my own inventory in this PW reading, going paragraph by paragraph, it’s so topical for my life right now.
I do have a couple areas at least in my life where I feel like my faith in myself cannot be reclaimed. One is personal regarding weight loss and the other is professional regarding being a competent person in the workforce. I am currently laid off. The dream was helpful in this regard as well. Change my thinking. To change it, I have to pay attention. Otherwise it’s under the radar and I’m acting it out instead of confronting it.
I have been famous in my family for picking up “broken wing” friends. I have been able to bring that to an end overall, but definitely am still vulnerable. I work with a gal now in my 12 step program who can be quite draining but is less so now that we have been together for over a year now. She is a challenge, borderline personality, but long-distance, thank God, so we only talk on the phone a few times a week. I just remember that it was the people who stuck with me throughout, throughout my neediness, my lies, my manipulations, mirroring me back at myself, refusing to be overwhelmed, lied to and manipulated by me, but loving me anyway, who ended up making the biggest difference for me. If I am called upon now to do that for one person in return, is that really too much to ask? My eyes well up in gratitude. They showed me devotion.
The situation with my sister indicates a glimmer of functionality. She talked me out of taking over and doing something just because I could save some money. Not even money for myself, but money for my brother. Truthfully, it’s about time that brother stepped up in a bigger way right now.
I wonder if the devotion Charilko is modeling towards her Centaur was also a way of being devoted to herself, her own recovery. Maybe his healing became her own as she “mid-wifed” his death.
Maybe what I could sacrifice is the old co-dependent ways of doing things. Fixing things for other people instead of supporting them in deciding on their own solutions would definitely figure in there. Maybe I could put my own recovery, my own self-expression, my own self-determination, my own confidence first and see what that results in. Could be an interesting experiment!
Wow – these astrology articles this week are just dead-on for my own experiences at the moment. Amazing to see it all written up and summarized so well…it’s very reassuring….many thanks!
Does anyone else feel it in the air? Goodness!
Everything seems to be hitting my 9-12 degrees business tonight. (Moon in Gem… ahhhhhh.) And this adds another layer to the discoveries. That is mosty Saturn/Eris in Aries 9th and Mercury/Pallas in Cancer 12th. (All at 12 degrees.)
Another piece to the current intense puzzle. Thanks for this. I may be keeping myself sane, and lending a helping hand… But certainly reading here provides further insight to ground. xm
Yes, I second Kelly. Thank you for this knockout piece!”If there is a deep, old wound to one’s sense of self, confidence or self-esteem, it can be easy for that to get played out in relationship after relationship. It becomes a pattern”. This is certainly the case with me – though it gets better as I become more aware – the remedy you prescribe to deal with this. I was also thinking about a colleague of mine, who I saw last Monday, he’s sweet and kind on the surface, but every time I come away from him after talking to him for a while, I feel lousy and insecure. After playing playing back the conversation in my mind – I realize that he’s used that subtle, passive aggressive tactic of saying things that are constantly undermining, in a very subtle way. He’s one of those guys that project their frustrations onto others, and they’ve got it down to a fine art. And then I thought about the ‘wounded males’ I seem to be dealing with at the moment – who I come away from feeling so low and dissatisfied with myself – and I managed to connect the dot at last and realize that it’s their crap, not mine. Hallelujah!
It’s easy to become a student of applied astrology when you guys at PW write so beautifully. Once again, I am flabbergasted at how much the current astrology is mirroring my mind.
Thank You xx