Good Thursday morning to you. The Moon is now in Taurus, close to its own South Node. The nodes of the Moon have recently arrived on the Taurus-Scorpio axis (that happened last week), a story I’ve yet to tell properly. The North and South nodes travel together, activating an axis of the zodiac, and functioning as a kind of reference point. The nodes travel retrograde, so they’re the only points that enter a sign at the end of the sign and leave early in the sign.
Speaking in abbreviated notation, the evolutionary theme of the nodes in Taurus-Scorpio is about attachment, and its various shades of possessiveness, jealousy and compersion.
Compersion is what you get, or perhaps where you can go, when you’ve begun to address attachment honestly; it’s the feeling of love that comes through when much darker, toxic emotions are recognized for what they are.
In true cosmic harmony, an asteroid called Juno (jealousy, marriage and marriage partners, inclination to social justice) is in late Scorpio, close to the North Node. So there’s a clear signal coming through about bonding, and going deep into the emotional/sexual dimension of relating to others.
At the same time, the Moon is about to sweep past its own South Node, diving into south declination — that is to say, below the celestial equator. This is presenting a truly interesting and complex psychological situation, which you may see a match for in your life or in the world over the next 24 hours or so. While there is this pull to go deep into bonding with others, there’s something at the same time about addressing the shadow side of that, which is jealousy and attachment.
People are remarkably casual about jealousy, as if nobody could possibly help having the urge to kill or throw up when they witness love somewhere outside of themselves. Jealousy is the eruption of attachment; the attachment is often present in latent or slightly subtler form. Yet we all know that jealous episodes are truly tales from the dark side. Not long ago this was considered so ‘normal’ and in a sense acceptable that it was considered a valid defense to murder, known as the “crime of passion” defense (sometimes called “temporary insanity”).
Jealousy is inherently related to murder. Ask anyone who counsels people in abusive relationships. The Moon crossing its own South Node and an odd point called the Black Moon Lilith might represent an outburst of loss or jealousy (connected to a past situation) or it can describe releasing these feelings, in the interest of having something resembling an actual experience of relating. There are many who believe that if someone isn’t jealous, they don’t really love you. It’s time to challenge this. How about: if someone cannot set you free, they don’t love you.
This whole setup begs for clarification of the difference between love and attachment. Yet there’s something else going on — something about self-esteem. I’m picking this up from an odd bit called Transpluto in the last degree of Leo, where it’s been hanging out for a while (it moves very slowly). Beneath all of this attachment drama is something deeper, which is a self-esteem crisis. When you don’t have yourself to lean on, that makes other people seem essential to feeling good about yourself. That works — to a point, before failing utterly. One person cannot build their own identity on that of another person.
Underneath the self-esteem crisis there’s yet another layer — what we haven’t said about ourselves. As in, what we’re feeling, who we really want, what we want and all that goes with it — which is supremely threatening to relationships that are built on the flammable house of cards known as attachment.
Cousins, there is another way.
Well said, Eric. Thanks.
Astute observation that compersion, cast as ‘one’s woman being a slut’, has an emasculating quality. One layer I spent a long time on was clearing the ‘right to sex’ and the presumption of exclusivity out of the way, and this felt like yielding something distinctly masculine, or anyway manly – in terms of how I am perceived and also how I experience myself. I think that the essence of the submission is that I experience her self-authority as her prerogative of choice, which is an affirmation of her power. This is a poignant way of letting go and it might be impossible for me were there not so much erotic energy to recover. At a certain point I realized that jealousy (or rather episodes that ‘made’ me jealous) was turning me on, and it was a short step from there to compersion.
The essence is accepting a woman’s power of choice.
And feeling how unbelievably beautiful that feels.
@Sarah
“Seen in this way, the ecstasies are heart-opening breakthroughs, the downward sweeps into hell in all of its forms the time when we look to gather what it is of ourselves that we forgot about, lost, or left behind. Two sides of the same coin.” Thanks for the words synopsizing {word? :>) } The Descent Of the Goddess so well. (And my experiences, particularly of the past 4 years.)
Shout out “hi” and love to all commenters today.
+_+
Eric: Thank you for this timely and lucid reminder of a complex, yet eminently understandable truth that we can put to work in our lives right now. You stated the crux issue so concisely when you made the proof of love setting the object of love free (as an alternative to jealousy or related feelings). Once again, you raise the bar, and with it, our consciousness. Thank you so very much.
Absolutely, Carrie – I wish there were more emphasis on this for those starting out in relationship.
Then again, maybe the reality is that most of us only really ask ourselves these questions, and open ourselves to different paradigms, when we’ve passed the invincibility of youth and our egos have taken enough of a beating that we become malleable and humble enough to think about letting something else in.
Acting on that is the next step. It seems to be a process of gradually bringing something to light in a series of cycles that are as dispiriting as they can be inspiring (there is no accident that “spirit” is associated with both these words), a hide-and-seek with the Self.
Seen in this way, the ecstasies are heart-opening breakthroughs, the downward sweeps into hell in all of its forms the time when we look to gather what it is of ourselves that we forgot about, lost, or left behind. Two sides of the same coin.
“I have seen how men –in particular– are made out to be ‘less manly’ if their wives/girlfriends -or even boyfriends- are tagged as sluts. It is a very complex set of feelings, having to do with embarrassment, being seen as ‘less than’ and not providing for or ‘mastering’ their families.”
I agree, Mysti. It’s the “she’s a slut because I can’t satisfy her” part of that.
Today is my 25th wedding anniversary and neither of us can figure out the whole jealousy thing. We don’t feel it. We see other couples do it or act on it but we just don’t feel it. I think there is an element of insecurity in that but why get into a relationship if there’s trust issues?
I also think people look outside themselves for the answers to the insecurities (if only he loved me more I would feel secure, blah-blah,blah) when in truth it is within themselves that they need to look. No one outside yourself can “fix” the insecurity.
It is truly a shame that our society doesn’t teach our young people more about this issue. Perhaps they would be more introspective before getting into relationships.
It is an interesting place to be astrologically — and emotionally, psychologically and physically, for that matter — when you’re single.
I go into some of the hottest, most potently transformative relationship territory as a (Leo Sun) lone traveller. Under the surface disappointment that is bound to come up now and then, it all feels rather exciting! After all, doesn’t it always start with the self?
self esteem. Self knowledge, that too is wider than pleasure. Yes and No and accompaniment. Everything goes two way or more.
xxxp
Mercy and clarity and quick thinking?
The pleasure principle.
There are such things as betrayals. Real things (not just points of view). And then it is the mercy of the one who is betrayed that counts? Transition, love as the miracle factor.
Pleasure? Not sure. Pleasure is in there somewhere but not as the focus. The best good of the other. Not necessarily all pleasure or plain sailing.
Loved the mid year report.
I’ve had a queasy sense around this transit for several days now… for those of us with Aq Moons, this squares our natal moon to the fixed sign Nodes (though mine is early in the fixed Air sign, so not dissonating that much – yet). I am curious to see how these Fixed signs work within the karma-to-dharma pathway laid out by the nodes. Compersion? Within the Taurus/Scorpio continuum? the mind boggles.
As for the ‘self-esteem’ issue, I sort of see how it is related to attachment, but the lack of self-esteem doesn’t seem to me like much of a driver in production of jealousy per se. That Transpluto may be feeding something else: I have seen how men –in particular– are made out to be ‘less manly’ if their wives/girlfriends -or even boyfriends- are tagged as sluts. It is a very complex set of feelings, having to do with embarrassment, being seen as ‘less than’ and not providing for or ‘mastering’ their families. I know that word is benighted and atavistic, but the underlying feeling of disrespect — not so much.
So if there’s a potential for drawing down the jealousy default, perhaps it is in this: If you love someone, you respect them. And with that respect – the ability to acknowledge their *wholeness*- comes a definition of love that coincidentally, includes compersion.
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