Think about it, there must be higher love
Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above
Without it, life is wasted time
Look inside your heart, I’ll look inside mine– Steve Winwood and Will Jennings
Today is Tuesday, Jan. 10, 2012.. Ever wonder about that maxim, “All’s fair in love and war?” If it’s about not taking personally the pain that can be inflicted in both situations, we might wonder: Why have we come to equate love with inflicting pain? Is it possible that saying is not, in fact, referring to love? Where, then, would we locate the concept of love, if we don’t insist that it fight in the trenches?
Venus, the inner planet represented by the goddess of love, makes a series of aspects this week on its way to ingressing Pisces over the weekend. Not least of these is its conjunction to outer planet Neptune in the last degree of Aquarius just before making the big move. Neptune in Pisces will color a distinct historical era for us, and Venus is about to give us a clue to what this next Neptunian phase is all about. Venus, which is exalted in Pisces, makes contact in the highly transformational last degree of Aquarius and then essentially escorts Neptune across the border, where it will stay for the next 14 years.
Inner planets conjoining outer planets help to make them tangible. They bring the energy into human terms so we can relate to it emotionally. Neptune can be especially hard to tune in to, but Venus will make its signal a bit more audible.
So what exactly is it that Venus and Neptune put us into contact with as they accompany each other into Pisces? How about the principle of higher love? Clearly we haven’t quite attained it yet – otherwise we wouldn’t still be fixated on jealousy and possessiveness and even polyamory; we wouldn’t be spiritually maiming and murdering each other in our capital ‘R’ relationships as though love is a battlefield (as Pat Benatar once sang). We haven’t yet embodied this thing we keep looking for outside of ourselves, and it’s time to start figuring that out in earnest.
Venus is giving us a map in miniature this week, but it’s up to us to explore the actual territory. Overnight last night, Venus – which has its own possessive, materialistic side — made a brief square to Juno in Scorpio. It was a reminder how thin the line is between embodying the principle of connectivity to harness deep transformation, versus turning against our own best interests if we allow jealousy and obsession to consume us. We do have a choice, much as it can feel like we do not.
As if to draw our focus away from the dark side lest we begin fixating, Venus immediately moves into a sextile with the Galactic Center, exact tomorrow. This is not just ‘higher love’, but deeper, wider, unifying all-one-love. But it’s a subtle and fleeting prelude to the rest of the song.
When Venus conjoins Neptune, it joins the trine to Saturn. Venus and Saturn have been in mutual reception since the former entered Aquarius on December 20th, and this week’s trine opens to Venus’s entrance into Pisces the next day. Saturn in Libra has been calling our attention to outmoded relationship models for a while now. As you’ve been taking a new look at these structures, have you felt at a loss as to what to do with them – or without them? Venus making this angle from Aquarius – where Neptune has been influencing the mind-blowing technological innovations of the last 14 years or so – suggests the doorway is open to the relational inventor’s workshop.
No sooner do we walk across that threshold, but the room – as if in a dream – morphs into an artist’s studio. Whatever shortcomings you may be noticing in how you work your love relationships, it seems creative solutions are just around the corner. The thing is, to get there – and make the most of it – we have to surrender to whatever transformational processes are at work in this last degree of Aquarius. If we keep doing what we’ve been doing, as we are, that higher love will stay out of reach.
The Sabian symbol for this degree is, “Deeply rooted in the past of a very ancient culture, a spiritual brotherhood in which many individual minds are merged into the glowing light of a unanimous consciousness is revealed to one who has emerged successfully from his metamorphosis.” It’s a mouthful. But whether your metamorphosis is spurred by your heart or the stars or the two together, know Chiron is in early Pisces just waiting for Venus to show up. Because if love is not about healing, how can we call it love?
Looking for insights on how this week’s astrology affects your personal Sun and rising signs? Try out Planet Waves Light, our streamlined horoscope service. For deeper cultural context and astrological investigation, the premium Planet Waves subscription includes the same horoscopes, plus extensively-researched articles on Fridays.
Thank you again, mystes – I can feel that making sense as I read your words and seek A out … (((((mystes)))))
Thanks, Mystes! {{{Mystes}}} Big hugs right back at you!
Carrie, darlin… you are such a fountain! Thank you for being so careful with yourself and those who love you. It is a huge inspiration!
{{{BIG Hugs}}}
M
Sarah y Linda,
There’s an “A” side and a “B” side to that point. Using your hands to locate the heartseed is the “B” side.
Recognizing the touchpoint from *inside* is the “A” side.
Just as the right brain holistically encompasses right and left brain, so too does “A” accomplish both “A” and “B”.
Hugs,
M
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Carrie: I just read your post. Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself and your experiences. I really value that information. Thank you for your kindness.
::::coming late to the conversation:::: My system has been hijacked by a browser jack so that facebook shows up every time I bring firefox up. :::frown::: I am using a different computer for the time being.
(The ideas are separated into smaller paragraphs for easier reading but that means they are not parenthetically correct.)
Anyway, so many thoughts are rushing in from the article and the subsequent postings but I will try to untangle them.
One thought was concerning the love feelings and pain. I only realized recently (because I am finally on the “other side” of the hormones) that the strong insecurity I have been feeling in my relationship and myself was primarily due to hormones that rage during menopause. Yep.
Let me explain: in my 20’s I flirted with the polyamory issue a lot and even experimented a bit with it. After going there, I realized I was more monogamous than poly so I became monogamous.
Fast forward through three marriages, one of which I am still in now. Suddenly, last year, I began to feel my wonderful husband’s attentions weren’t “enough.” I began to again think I was a poly person and flirted with the idea of having someone else. DH reminded me that I had been monogamous for the 24 years we have been together and happily so. I examined those feelings under a mental microscope and realized they had a lot to do with the hormonal and emotional upheaval I was experiencing.
I saw that these feelings coincided with my deep feelings of insecurity which also coincided with my hormonal roller coaster. I truly felt like an insecure teenager again!
Instead of going with those insecure feelings and finding “another,” I talked to DH about them and my friends and worked through them by asking (and getting) more attention from DH with the understanding that it was likely a temporary issue. This was partly because after discussing the feelings with DH and seeing how upset it made him (because of his fear of losing me, a fear I found to be natural, legitimate and not oppressive) I didn’t want to hurt him. It was also because I thought, “Why do something based on a fleeting hormone change?”
Now that I am on the other side, can see just how influential those raging hormones were and I am thankful I was able to work through them in ways that kept both DH and I sane. Without that deep insecurity raging (and the desperate need for attention it seemed to cause) I can see again why poly life wasn’t appealing to me; too much complication!
I then asked other women I know (who are currently still going through “the change”) if they had also felt insecure and that their SO was no longer “enough” and guess what? They all said yes! They all said they felt like insecure teens again. No one talks about that in the menopause manuals!
I remember feeling almost revulsion for DH right after having the twins; it scared me. I saw my doctor and told her that and she reassured me it was hormonally based due to falling progesterone and lactation hormones. I bounced back to my normal feelings in a few weeks.
What I am getting to with all that is that self love (or any love) feelings can be very influenced by hormones. Astrology aside, this means that at any time in our lives, if we are experiencing a change in those feelings about love (either for self or another) it is really a good idea to also check in with what your hormones are doing as well.
For women, pregnancy, post-partum, and menopause can cause real hormonal changes which in turn affect their emotions, self image, and self love (as well as how they love others). For men, their falling testosterone levels also can affect their emotions.
The other thoughts that came to me from this article have to do Hugging Scorpio’s posts. HS, Mystes and others are right. When I was 26, alone, and working on myself after a failed and abusive relationship, I did what the 12 step program advised; I stopped looking for someone. I had finally got to the point that I would rather be alone than accept second best.
The weird thing is, DH was doing the same (we had not met yet) just before we met. He was also choosing not to be “looking” for a mate. He had also decided that being alone was better than being treated like crap. When we met, we thought we would just be friends. Really.
Being friends first is what helped us enjoy our relationship because there was not that pressure to “pair-up.” Eventually (in six months) we fell in love and began to date in earnest and live together.
I am not saying everyone will find love that way but it always helps when you are not seeking and not avoiding. I wasn’t seeking (nor was DH) but after we met, we didn’t avoid getting to know each other either.
What a journey life is!
mebbe indeed ‘it all’ has to do with “the work” being joy-full. (not pain-full)
Thanks for “the point”, mystes (and catching it and repeating it, Sarah.)
mystes – thank you so very much for your information about that point on your chest. I sought it out, touched it, and started crying – powerful stuff!
Sorry to hear your job dried up, SuzyC… but if you are in the States, that makes for a simpler application to unemployment insurance.
I hope a vocation that you love finds you soon…
M
Here. here, Alexander, here, here. (or is it “Hear, hear”? Either way, you know what I mean.) Thnx and (((Alexander)))
“Deeply rooted in the past of a very ancient culture, a spiritual brotherhood in which many individual minds are merged into the glowing light of a unanimous consciousness is revealed to one who has emerged successfully from his metamorphosis.” Definitely one of the more poorly worded Sabian symbols. I had to read it three times and then a fourth time backwards in order to understood what exactly was revealed “to one who has emerged successfully from his metamorphosis.” Not an “ancient culture,” not a “glowing light,” not a “unanimous consciousness,” but grammatically speaking, it can only be “a spiritual brotherhood.” I will be watching for my spiritual brotherhood and sisterhood as I negotiate these next few weeks and months. I was laid off today from my job which is a nice inauguration for seeking a new path. My workplace was a dysfunctional family system operated like a rollercoaster ride. I’m tired and definitely ready to get off that ride.
for crying outside….
“HIGH-FIVE!!!!”
hmmm, let’s try that again….
jinspace: <> 🙂
jinspace: 🙂
An expertly flirtatious older man at work asked me very indirectly to be his beautiful hostess on a desert island today. I most assuredly enjoyed the enchanted moment, exquisitely delivered in an email. Ahhh, cheers to all lovers who understand the power of the poetic, and who are fearless in pursuit.
Hugging Scorpio – Look again at mystes’ wise words: No seeking, no avoiding.
That doesn’t suggest passivity, it’s an invitation to just BE. Be you. That’s active.
No seeking – The most attractive (as in magnetic) people are those who are simply comfortable in their own skin. The less you push, the less resistance you meet 🙂
No avoiding? To me that means facing, accepting, enjoying, perhaps even *daring* – i.e. opening yourself up – to those who you do attract by merely being you. The dare? They might not be the kinds of people you thought you wanted, or ‘should’ be with.
A subtle shift of perspective puts things in a completely different light 🙂
Only taking a moment to add my LOVE to this wonderful mix!
Thx, PW!
HS… yeah, it can *seem* passive, but believe me when I say – once you “don’t seek/don’t avoid” the heartseed juuuuuuust so
a little hook of perception comes out of it AND out of you in the same instant, swing around one another, and the spin fires up;
it is the Inner Man, the gu/ru, the beloved — all rolled up in one fascinating flywheel
your attention becomes Pure & Active
you want exactly and only That; you avoid exactly and only not-That
the world passes into your gaze whole and knobby, comes through you alchemically-burnt to a fine white shiver
Just walking down the street is a Full Time Job
you are strobing and whooping like a supernova
and then She comes
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(but you knew all that… carry on… *8D)
mystes: thanks for your kind encouragements. “no seeking; no avoiding.” So true, and I work to hold that space. But it’s challenging as it implies a passive role as a guy (I don’t suggest any stereotypes, but you know what I mean). But perhaps this can simply mean not being in conflict and to live in the present moment. Thanks for the reminder!
Hugging Scorpio – “He is wise beyond his years, young Skywalker…”
That bit about seeking pleasure and avoiding suffering. So pitch-perfect. Now that you’ve got that down, see if you can program this in:
No seeking. No avoiding.
I know, I know… might as well shoot the Moon. But as I have said ad nauseum here: Suffering is not ‘optional.’ (Um, and neither is pleasure.) Volition, the will, *cannot* craft a path away from it. To be in time, to be an agent in history is to suffer. (And enjoy.) Period.
However, the will *can* figure out what to accomplish with it. (Them.) There is a flywheel in the body, about 4″ below the dish of the throat, about 2″ above the sternum, a very precise little point that is represented physiologically by the nerve that coordinates systole and diastole. It is tiny, no more than 1/16″ of an inch in diameter, but the whole carnival of your body is woven from that dynamo.
Get acquainted with that spot. You’ll find it sooner or later. It is going to spin a certain way when you find Her. You’ll feel both energized and totally at ease ’cause its momentum is now engaged in a perfectly balanced way. You’ll be more than you, she’ll be more than Her. It is unmistakable, real and irreversible.
Relax your mind – no seeking, no avoiding. That unsticks the wheel so that it can *begin* to spin more effervescently. With that, the Beloved.
All love, half-wit,
M
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sorry to go on a deflated bubble story, but the other thing that I have found is that Astrology (even the wonderful posts on PW) is only 50% of the story. Sure there are aspects to ones natal chart and ones own psychological temperament. But even as Saturn changes sign to Scorpio in the fall, Neptune going into Pisces, all this points to new beginnings. As one astrologer characterized Saturn in the Via Cumbusta zone said in effect, we are doing, or need to do, work in understanding relationships and our integrity to ourselves so that we can have more authentic and mutual experiences. Yeah, sure it sounds great right? Although that kind of expectation is just as bad as being delusional that something will happen, like, “oh yeah finally man, because Neptune is Pisces too!” I don’t think the work ever stops. We will always be dealing with less than satisfactory results as long as we operate in a world where we seek pleasure and avoid suffering. Dualism is at the heart of relationship. So, we or I, can wait until via cumbusta’s are over, Saturn moves on, Neptune goes all googoogaga in February – whatever. Squares, oppositions, other angles, etc, will continue to make challenges arise. There is no leaving that. For every 5 good aspects, there are 5 challenging ones.
“well, i guess i’m left wondering: if one is not “shrinking back,” does there necessarily have to be a “fight?” doesn’t “not shrinking back” imply that one is still present, in contact, available, and making ones interest fully known? and does the “object of your affection” get to make a fully-informed choice based on how she/he is feeling the connections with either suitor? and… where does “the highest good for all concerned” fit into the picture, passion and shadow and all?”
Mein got, Amanda. That is me – right now!
btw — i hope my comment doesn’t come off as defensive! the internet can be so tone deaf. just wanted to parse out some clarity.
🙂
so glad the conversation is happening, and thank you for the kind words on the photo. it’s a fave of mine & has been waiting months for its moment. again, the post had a couple other heads involved — happily.
What a coincidence! I have been humming that song to myself for a week now! Have you heard this version – which my son put on a compilation for me recently http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c__noWWtdZg. And such a lovely photo!
As for the text I’m still struggling with that pesky love thingy. If mutual love exists I’ve yet to see it, but I keep looking.
Why have we come to equate love with inflicting pain?…Or indeed feeling pain?
I think I’ve finally reached the end of the line in a 5 year relationship – 7 if you count the original friendship – and am going through all the grief of potential unfulfilled, the frustration of talks that went nowhere, and the bewilderment of feeling like an afterthought to someone who felt very central to me. The talk on this site recently has been about love negotiations. It’s a terrible feeling to finally locate what your needs are, and give voice to it all and be told “don’t be so needy”! As if having needs and being needy are one in the same.
This is my year of drawing lines (boundaries) and not compromising those needs or that ‘higher’ vision of what a loving healing relationship can be. And no more (avoidable) pain! Difficult for my chart is watery, watery, watery. This year I’m aiming to become a stronger swimmer!
you know, i don’t think anything in the post equates “higher love” with a sanitized, “pure” version, lacking passion or the wholeness of its shadow (perhaps that was not the point of that comment?). i think the question is more to do with what we do with that passion and shadow.
and i’m curious about this: “If you shrink back from the object of your affection and let a different suitor stroll home with the prize without a fight is that love?”
well, i guess i’m left wondering: if one is not “shrinking back,” does there necessarily have to be a “fight?” doesn’t “not shrinking back” imply that one is still present, in contact, available, and making ones interest fully known? and does the “object of your affection” get to make a fully-informed choice based on how she/he is feeling the connections with either suitor? and… where does “the highest good for all concerned” fit into the picture, passion and shadow and all?
just wondering…. 🙂
Dear Daily Astrology,
What a delicious topic, and judging from these wonderful responses, one that most of us have spent much time pondering. I suspect we have only scratched the surface of the many catagories under the topic Love. When Len reminded me/us of the Thanksgiving conjunction of the goddess of love to the galactic center, it made me remember several forms of love expressed during that time. It definitely has a feeling component, part of which is the feeling of relief. When the war is over we can allow ourselves to feel again.
There is also the love of self, which has gotten a bad reputation as in when the ego is over-inflated, but love of self allows for “not knowing” when self discovers it has made errors. Forgiving is part of loving; self and/or others. Kittens and puppies, hot fudge anything and sunshine all have a feel-good quality (well, for most of us), so pleasure for the body and soul is a must-have part to Love. So for example, I love you guys at PW; those who create it and those who add to it their own thoughts. You make me feel good on days like this.
be
Alexander De Witte: thank you for that. I love what you wrote.
PW: thank you for this deeper exploration.
Perhaps I’m disillusioned, and god knows I’ve been doing my work within and without, but everytime I’ve been led to water, it disappears. As if the whole exercise was to simply put myself out there. Nothing starts, it just fades. Maybe I don’t play the game right. I’m good looking, stylish, I have integrity and I look after myself. What’s there not to like or give a chance? I know that there is work involved, I’m no idiot. I’m willing to go there.
A relationship? Mutual love? I’ll believe it when it actually begins. Because it hasn’t in a long long time.
HS
ps: just now see that Venus is sitting on my Sun … aaaahhhh!
Oh, Amanda! what an enchanting photo! it is achingly beautiful!! and then the song you quote … one of my favs that I listened to endlessly back in the day. God I was so in love with Steve Winwood!! and his poetry.
No, I’m not waiting. I’m bringing it.
mary
ps: some very cool stuff there from the pw-folk. am charged up and delighted by the stuff i read here, always … but I gotta say, it’s some cool stuff written about love’s shadow and I’m reminded that the only way out is through.
“All’s fair in love and war.” Hmm. We’re so used to taking this to mean that anything is acceptable or justifiable in both situation. But maybe we’re missing a double entendre: in an ideal love, ‘fair’ might just as well be interpreted by this meaning: “pleasing to the eye or mind especially because of fresh, charming, or flawless quality” (Merriam-Webster) – not that it’s okay to do whatever it takes to get your (heart’s?) desire.
To wit, and also reflecting on murky Neptune, a truly mean and destructive woman I know was with her boyfriend for 13 years, mostly by dint of manipulation, threats, and clearly his own need to feel miserable. After all that time, they got married. On the honeymoon, he suddenly woke up to all the abuse he’d been living with. The now-husband said “I’ve made a terrible mistake” and he left her. The timing? Neptune’s last sign shift.
“…. the transformational process requires us to surrender our notions of purity in order to become whole lovers, capable of holding our darker impulses in a creative tension with our loftier, more noble dreams and aspirations..”
Nice, Alexander. I said the same last week to my significant other, only in far less elquent words. Edging closer to being a more integrated being, he listened 🙂
Huffy – keep the faith. It’s never too late 😉
gwind – I don’t know much about puppies, but there’s much to be said for the pure, unabashed love of dogs 🙂
What a lovely post.
What a wonderful piece.(as always) Thank You 😉
Higher Love!
from A Course in Miracles: ” Love does not kill to save.”
I was so moved by this, I had it made into a bumper sticker, but eventually removed it. I got some strange looks and projected it must be the sticker.
Then I made it into a quilt. It stayed unfinished for months and months. Yesterday, for whatever reason, I felt compelled to pull it out and at least bind it thinking that if I wanted to do more handwork on it later, I could.
To be able to examine love in its very essence, even if it is a fleeting moment, reveals a portal that goes beyond the imagination. I find, however, that most people associate love with weddings, ownership, chocolate, and puppies.
Ever wonder about that maxim, “All’s fair in love and war?” If it’s about not taking personally the pain that can be inflicted in both situations, we might wonder: Why have we come to equate love with inflicting pain? Is it possible that saying is not, in fact, referring to love? Where, then, would we locate the concept of love, if we don’t insist that it fight in the trenches?
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There is not a 4-letter word anywhere in the English Language more in disrepute than that of ‘love’ – thanks to religion (largely Christian).
Take the biblical dictum ‘Love is Pure’.. so inspirational, lofty and poetic
Yet if we contrast with the Devil card in tarot. ‘Love is soiled’ once we corrupt it with messy things like sex, desire, passion and so we get a message to sanitize, to sanctify, to cut love off from the body and its raging, uncontrollable passions.
The modern notions of love we have inherited have been so emasculated as to have morphed to caricature.
Love is shadow too. Otherwise Jesus could not have uttered ‘Love Thine enemies’.
‘Nice’, saintly, ‘proper’ folk throttle their libido, their very life force in the name of love. The whole of them is not present in any transaction.. their passions utterly tamed.
Is that love? It is an infected, pure sort, for sure!
Would you rather be somebody’s “comfy pair of shoes” or their “profiterole”??
If you shrink back from the object of your affection and let a different suitor stroll home with the prize without a fight is that love?
Of course, there is ‘higher’, more noble and altruistic bent to love at times than pure unction, but is love not to be energetic as well as multi-faceted and inclusive?
Is love boring? I hope not! And so maybe….
“Whatever shortcomings you may be noticing in how you work your love relationships, it seems creative solutions are just around the corner. The thing is, to get there – and make the most of it – we have to surrender to whatever transformational processes are at work in this last degree of Aquarius.”
…. the transformational process requires us to surrender our notions of purity in order to become whole lovers, capable of holding our darker impulses in a creative tension with our loftier, more noble dreams and aspirations..
Hey PW:
Neptune on the last degree of Aqua is exactly conjunct my Mercury, and Neptune will be moving on to conjunct my Ascendant and opp my descendant. Chiron is already there, putting me on an anti-inflammation diet and doing cleansing regimens and yoga. Wow, horsies. That could also explain among other things, the writing ease for theater work and my bent towards writing about and opening up to music.
Got a few water signs later on with Saturn in Scorpio in my 9th house, and two biggies _ Uranus and Jup in my 5th in the 23rd degrees of Cancer. These next ten years or so are going to be very interesting.
Hail Pisces! And hail that cute little starfish — my favorite avatar!
“…I will wait for it, I’m not too late for it”. THANK YOU! xxx
Thank you!! 🙂
I’m taking this as good news although my astrological knowledge is pretty limited (read nonexistent!)
I was in a relationship for 13 years and I have Aquarius on my 7th house. It was very confusing and deceptive. The relationship has been over a year but I’ve long-awaited Neptune’s movement, with curiosity… wondering where I’ll be headed next and how my perspective/viewpoint will change 🙂
Thank you again – the last few months have been particularly weird/challenging – I’m definitely learning to live with the mystery and let life guide me instead of ‘pushing the river’
Thanks PW!!!!