Sweet Dreams: Care and Feeding of the Valentine

By Judith Gayle | Political Waves

Happy Valentine’s Day! The day when flower growers and designers, candy makers and sellers, jewelry store and spa owners rub their hands in glee. The day that most men remember at the last minute and, if they’re smart, find something to cart home to the honey, while most women have orchestrated the remembrances, cards and tokens of affection well in advance.

The mythology is that Valentine’s is the day when each of us either reaps the dividends of being loved or stands out in the cold, looking in. This usually has little to do with worthiness and more to do with being partnered. I’ve always thought this holiday had a kind of awkward, sadistic quality, like a national Sadie Hawkins Dance that had the ability to turn into the gym scene in Stephen King’s Carrie.

Still, it comes every February with regularity and so, blessed are the hooked up. As with New Year’s Eve, Valentine’s Day provides a relationship perk that means this pivotal date-night is taken care of; at least in theory. How well we do with this quiet little February event may also answer the question of whether the relationship is still viable in April and May.

Flower delivery, it turns out, is problematic this year. If you’re not familiar with your local flower shop, turning instead to an 800-line or advertiser, you may not get anything close to what is being promoted in pictures and pamphlets. This is particularly problematic if roses were promised and peonies delivered; worse, chrysanthemums, the kind your dear old Granny grows in her garden. On the other hand, flowers of any kind delivered in a bitter February should not be sneezed at. Not only are they a rare delight when the snow is blowing, they can be displayed in a window to let the world know someone thinks you’re IT: highly coveted. The recent problems with delivery indicate that those who want value for their buck need to hand-deliver or, perhaps, select another gift.

When in doubt, there’s always the traditional Valentine’s offering: candy. It’s literally everywhere and easily obtained. On the other hand, if the selection is too generic, not only will your good taste be questioned but your true feelings. I’m personally a Skittles fan but — in days long ago when these things meant more to me — if the Beloved had thrown a bag of Skittles my way on The Big Day, favorite or not, trust me: there would have been little joy in his Mudville. No, these offerings need to show a bit of class, imagination or, barring that, expense. According to the tube, Kay Jewelers will be GLAD to help you with that last.

Then there is the evening event to consider. The business of Cupid’s bows and paper hearts is all about romance, which requires the aforementioned imagination. The intimate meal is always a winner. I watched a bit of the Food Channel this week, and everyone had a different suggestion for food-seduction, most involving large amounts of butter and sugar, accompanied by something alcoholic that was the same color as the tablescape. OK, color-coordinated beverages are a bit of a turn-off for me, but there’s no denying that alcohol plays a large role in the Valentine’s event — which makes sense, by the way, only if you’ve secured a hotel room or paid the babysitter to take the children for the weekend.

Would this be an inconvenient time to begin a conversation about the continuing evils of subsidized production of high-fructose corn syrup? Well, too bad — we’re going there anyhow. In the last months, I’ve seen clever commercials calculated to convince us that there is nothing in corn syrup that is anything other than plain old table sugar. And sugar, of course, is good food. It must be so, available as it is in a thousand guises at every check-out stand, convenience store counter and restaurant table in the nation. But, as usual, they lied. We’ve been taught that refined sugar is harmless, but it is not. There is either sucrose or HFCS – or both — in just about every processed American food product, from hot dogs to corn flakes, baby food to soup, but you won’t hear about the dangers in this nation.

Back in 1975, an odd little man named William Dufty — accompanied by Gloria Swanson, a quirky old movie star of the silent era and ex-mistress of JFK’s father, Joe — began promoting a book Dufty had written titled Sugar Blues. Dufty told a startled public that sugar was addictive and caused enormous health problems for a nation that had been purposely hooked by a billion-dollar industry. That was 35 years ago. Since then, Sugar Blues has become a classic, but little has changed, except a gazillion more products shored up with high-fructose corn syrup (HFCS) available for fewer of your food stamps than broccoli or — heaven forbid — arugula. The sugar lobby is still winning the food war and America is losing, on that and many other fronts.

Michelle Obama, having chosen childhood obesity as a national cause, catches hell from the rightwing for ‘interfering’ with our freedom to make food choices. Sarah Palin — Mama Grizzly herself — refuses to let this strange, dark woman dictate to her what she should be feeding the cubs; she visited an elementary school recently with a big plate of chocolate chip cookies. That arrogant, progressive couple in the White House are simply showing their elitist tendencies when they eat well, but we’ll show them! We like our children plump and listless. Never mind that we’re seeing more strokes among the middle-aged and even in the young that may be attributed to obesity.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject, a new study has found that people who consume diet drinks every day — ostensibly to eliminate calories — “had a 48 percent higher risk of stroke or heart attack than people who drank no soda of any kind.” Their conclusion? “… diet soft drinks may not be an optimal substitute for sugar-sweetened beverages.”

Well, gosh — ya think? Have none of these people read the studies about Aspartame, which is universally substituted for sugar in soft drinks (marketed as Nutrasweet, it comes in little blue packets at most restaurants.) Here’s Dr. Mercola on the topic, and if he isn’t enough to make you drop that Diet Coke can, consider that Donald Rumsfeld helped push this toxic additive through a reluctant FDA when he was CEO of Searle Pharmaceuticals. I gave up on diet soda and Aspartame long ago. I need all my brain cells.

Ahhh, but it’s Valentine’s! I don’t want to bum you out with too much good sense or dire warning. The little pleasures carry us through the bad spells, and I’m not going to kick them to the curb entirely. I’m no purist, myself. Chances are you’ll receive some candy, because with the exception of Halloween where any sweet will do, nothing says I Love You like chocolate. Life is always better, just at that moment, with a piece of Ghirardelli’s or See’s tucked in my cheek (I’m showing my coastal bias, I know.) And we’ve all read the studies that say dark chocolate and red wine have health benefits. So does moderation in all things. I shall try for all three this year.

By the way, if you don’t have a Special Someone to celebrate with, I would like to take this opportunity to remind you just how special you actually are. There isn’t one of you out there that isn’t a fascinating, creative, delicious and inspiring part of the human landscape, connected to me by heartstrings. One recent Valentine’s commercial does tickle my fancy; the one that says this day is to celebrate who a couple is, together. That makes sense to me. The combined energy of a couple creates a Third Entity that represents “them,” and so it goes with all collaborations. So Be My Valentine this year, won’t you? Collaborate with me. With or without chocolate, I can’t think of anything sweeter.

17 thoughts on “Sweet Dreams: Care and Feeding of the Valentine”

  1. I’m substituting Organic Chocolate for the Hershey’s but appreciate their reciepe! So great! Thanks Jude ;-D

    Happy Happy Hallmark Hearts, everyone!

  2. Nice article, Jude and Happy Valentine’s day to you and everyone else here.

    How we celebrate Valentine’s Day after 23 years of marriage: we get the kids some healthy (organic, sweetened with agave) chocolate. Yep, those teen girls and our son like chocolate but DH and I cannot eat it because if it is sweetened with anything other than Stevia, it makes US fat (and makes ME constipated; oh the joys of being over 50).

    We also ascribe to the “buy-nothing” club so Dh and I don’t exchange any flowers, candy, jewelry, or other “love” stuff. Instead, we may go out for some reasonably healthy Chinese food tonight (no rice, noodles, or other carby stuff) because now that we have older kids, we CAN go out and have a nice, inexpensive dinner together to talk. Then again, we may not.

    Dh and I were never the “show off how much you love each other” types. Don’t need to when you know you love each other already. When I worked outside the home (BC or before children) the other women in the office were amazed that I was married to a man who didn’t get me anything, (for this overly-commercialized day), at MY request. They thought I was crazy not to make him jump through all sorts of “prove you love me, publicly” rituals. Sheesh. He already did that by wanting to spend his life with me and raise kids together. His love isn’t like a library book; it doesn’t expire. :::laughing::: Nor does mine for him. We let each other know every day that we love each other in little ways so going all out in public displays on one day seems redundant. We both are romantics at heart; we just don’t choose to show it in the usual, consumptive, socially prescribed way. Call us rebels. :::smiling:::

  3. ..This is cool! Arugula is one of the only volunteers from my compost piles. I decided this morning it was going to flavor my spaghetti sauce. Tasty little green!

    Peace, and good eating..

    Jere

  4. kyla – i’d try yours!

    i’ve noticed over the years i actually tend to be happier on valentine’s day if i’m single or single-ish (as in, some variety of long-distance poly situation). it’s actually easier not to get caught up in expectations whipped to a frenzy (even if subconsciously) by the media, peers, or nagging insecurities from within a relationship.

    (that said, i’ll happily accept flowers any day of the week, esp on opening night of a show… so i’m not immune to expectation, but i digress.)

    years when i’ve had time, energy & inspiration, the day has been a great reason to hold a dinner party for any friends who wish to come, whether partnered or not (last year guests included both halves of a couple, a woman whose husband was working, and a few singles of both genders) or run around delivering hand-made valentines with quotes about love. (ok, that was easiest in college, with everyone on campus; but damn it felt good!).

    a friend remarked today that she’s heard of people giving their partners *lists* for the day, commenting, “people — this is not christmas!”

    ah well.

  5. OMG, Jude, well, that surely does cover all bases. Probably even tastes ………. like a real heartfelt and….. sincere! Yes, a sincere effort, to bring arugula and chocolate together in some kind of palatable gustatory harmony.

    Yes.

    One never knows what a quick visit to these pages will reveal, nosir, one never knows.

    To be honest I was thinking more along the lines of something crunchy. Like, arugula chips dipped in salted chocolate and presented on a bed of nasturtium blossoms.

  6. Gotcha covered, Valentines!

    Baby Arugula and Frisee Lettuce Salad with Chocolate-Chili Dressing
    Ken Gladysz, Executive Chef at The Hotel Hershey

    Salad:
    2 ounces baby arugula
    4 ounces frisee, yellow center leaves cleaned and trimmed
    4 shallots, minced
    2 peaches, medium-size, cut in half, seeded and cut into thirds
    1 ounce sliced almonds, toasted
    2 ounces goat cheese
    6 ounces Hershey’s Chocolate-Chili Dressing
    Fresh black pepper, to taste

    Dressing:
    2 tablespoons Hershey’s Chocolate Syrup
    1 teaspoon honey
    1/4 teaspoon dijon mustard
    2 teaspoons chili powder
    2 ounces champagne vinegar
    3 ounces vegetable oil
    4 ounces olive oil
    1/2 teaspoon salt
    1/4 teaspoon white pepper, fresh ground

    Directions:
    In clean stainless steel bowl, mix chocolate syrup, honey, mustard, chili powder and vinegar. Combine oils and slowly add to chocolate mixture, whisking to fully incorporate. Add salt and pepper, mix well. Taste and adjust seasonings if necessary. Set aside until ready to serve.

    For each salad, arrange three peach slices evenly around plate. Evenly spread 1/2 ounce of the baby arugula around each plate. Evenly spread one ounce of the Frisee around each plate. Sprinkle 1 teaspoon shallots and 1/4 ounce toasted almonds evenly over each salad. Crumble 1/2 ounce goat cheese over each salad. Evenly pour 2 tablespoons dressing over each salad. Add freshly cracked black pepper over each salad and serve.

    Yield: 4 servings salad; 1 cup dressing

  7. Oh I dunno, I kind of like the first version. And I bet there is a way to put Arugula and chocolate together unchokeabley …… but someone else is going to have to come up with that recipe.

    Happy Valentine’s times, all……

  8. oh that’s bad. … very bad…..choke a lot….ok -‘ I’d rather talk a lot than eat it with chocolate’.

    Better. A bit more palatable.

    πŸ™‚

  9. Arugula Forever! yes, of course! quote away! haha. Perhaps I’ll add this to my Little Red Quote Book. Dr. Suess style. ” I’d eat it in my sleep and I’d eat it with a creep, I’d eat it on the moon, and I’d eat it very soon. I’d eat eat it with a goat I’d eat it on a boat BUT I would surely choke a lot to eat it with chocolate!”

  10. Here is my valentine to you –

    http://www.chocolatework.com/slavery/chocolate-slavefree.htm

    I prefer good Mexican chocolate. It is usually fresh if you purchase at a Mexican grocery. Buy it and smell the difference between it and the box of Nestle in your cabinet. Ditto on Mexican vanilla.

    Here is how to make milk chocolate from cocoa powder:

    http://www.answerbag.com/article/how-to-make-milk-chocolate-from-cocoa/8d75577f-3fb0-bd21-8ee1-3a84ed1dd73d/chocolate-recipe

    Next, find a recipe to dip fruit in chocolate, or make some truffles with your home-made milk chocolate. I bet you could use honey to make the milk chocolate, but I’ve never tried it. Cane sugar is still better than corn syrup.

    The Incas promised that chocolate would enhance our lives in every way, and I am grateful for the gift.

    xox

  11. “Personally I choose Arugula.”

    A Word. May I quote you?

    (now I am thinking about chocolate. damn. was not thinking about chocolate until now.)

    Actually, that part about formaldehyde? I did not know that. Glad to be armed with that particular factoid. thanks!

  12. ..and then there are the ultra un-informed who actually COOK with Aspartame — getting a full dose of formaldehyde even before your body processes it into same:

    http://www.suite101.com/content/diet-sodas-and-cancer-a33215

    (I just grabbed a quick Aspartame link – there are plenty to be found in a brief google search)

    A friend was going to send me the link to a news story but I don’t have it yet and can’t find it. Supposedly there is a lawsuit filed by some military folks who are ill from the Aspartame filled soda they were sent while on tour – which subsequently sat cooking in the sun and subsequently they were drinking cans of formaldehyde and many are ill.

    I hear the miracle temperature is 86 degrees for the transformation.

    There is a “Ban Aspartame” group on facebook as well.

    Personally, I choose Arugula.

    Thanks, Jude. Happy Hearts!

  13. Great writeup, Judith. I noticed the lack of aspartame awareness in that story myself.

    Crazy when the media is not as well informed as us regular folks. It used to be the other way around!

    cheers, GG

  14. funny, I was just googling a good substitute for brown sugar in my oatcakes! and while i embrace the vegan and GF variations, I hold off on the sugar substitutes as the last step and final frontier. it’s not just for my diabetic friends and family afterall.

    happy v-day to you, Jude and all your peeps. If I may, I recommend most heartily πŸ™‚ finding a local florist and connecting with her/him and the flowers, buying one or two doz if you are so moved. If there’s a better way to connect with spirit in the dead of winter, I’m unaware.

    mm.
    ps: gosh, hadn’t thought of See’s in so long!

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