Orgasm During Childbirth

Wandering Yeti posted this link below — we’ve posted the video to the top for maximum visibility. Thank you for the link!

I am happy to see this concept go from something I’ve thought about and understood for years to something I’m seeing in the external world; I think this is perfectly intuitive. The capacity for pleasure that is distinctly female is associated with a capacity that can be applied during childbirth. However, to be able to relate this idea at all, sexuality needs to be an openly discussed subject rather than a concealed one. And all the emotional material that exists along the same circuitry is involved in the process.

Orgasm is a subset of the subject of sex, and if the subject of sex is taboo, concealed, denied or held down (as it usually is), then obviously so too will this subject. Betty Dodson and many others have pointed out that the real taboo is on pleasure. This is why pain is so often emphasized: it’s not so embarrassing.

Just before a close friend of mine went off to deliver her child, I emailed her: “Remember your clitoris!” Which was my way of suggesting: this can be pleasurable, not agony. Our bodies are well designed to do the jobs they are supposed to do. While one of the husbands in the video above compares childbirth to being hit on the head with a hammer, this view is far removed from the idea that giving birth is natural, something that happens to many women and for which the female body is designed; while our heads are not supposed to be hit by a hammer. To define birth as inherently traumatic is like defining breathing, eating or walking as inherently traumatic.

Now let’s go to a best case scenario, where many people are born through orgasmic birth. What kind of world would that be?

18 thoughts on “Orgasm During Childbirth”

  1. As noted in the Intro to Tantra for Bobos (June, 2009), childbirth is a quintessentially Tantric event. Now it is absolutely amazing to see the Great Midwife Ina May Gaskins’ axiom . . .

    “What gets the baby in is what gets the baby out…”

    . . . circulating on the likes of YouTube and PlanetWaves.

    The effects, assuming we beat the Kali-clock, are going to be comprehensive.

    Back to my weaving. . .

    M

  2. FOLLOWUP VIA EMAIL FROM KRISTIN LEE

    …i wonder why there has to be fear about orgasmic being the gold standard for birth. ALL our experiences are valid; the spiritual world adjusts and changes for our choices, however well or ill-informed/carried out, as do our friends, lovers, parents and children, etc. My older children, who endured more medicalized and difficult births, now have an extra layer of challenge to work through, but how can I blame myself for this? perhaps they needed the extra challenge, perhaps there is karma here, or perhaps some grace will step in and ease their difficulty because of the choice i made at the time. also i would not blame myself were the theoretical next child carried from the spiritual world to earth without the luxurious vehicle of my orgasm–it is not always mine to know why, nor is everything my responsibility. i was able to experience the birth we did because i had heard it was possible…and so it was…

  3. Yes Kristin – thanks for this articulation:”i remember the feeling that the cosmos was descending and squeezing itself through me, and with the release towards earth, out he came.”

    My daughter’s birth felt like that. I too, had to work through emotional issues (‘am I doing it right?’ etc.). My daughter is also spiritually grounded in her own purposeful way. She turns 5 this Friday!

    And Carecare7 is right on – no need to add more pressure to a process that is already fraught with plenty of landmines.

    Still, I went into the process thinking I would have a hospital birth (just like Mom). The more I explored, the less I wanted to do it in that way. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with hospital birth as a choice, yet it would be great if women had more awareness around the choices.

    At the time, my MD was also a friend of mine and she agreed to attend the homebirth of my daughter. She had never attended a homebirth before. Afterwards, she said that had we been in a hospital, she would have recommended a C-section! She wanted to control a process that is impossible to control. It’s like controlling a thunderstorm.

    And I don’t want to downplay pain as part of the process, but I have had painful injuries and the pain of childbirth is different somehow, maybe because it produces a miracle.

    I’m sorry for Frannyfan and all the women who have traumatic birth experiences. I had an experience in the middle of the birth process, in the wee hours of the morning, where a group of spirit women came to me and reassured me, they told me it was going to be fine. I told a psychic about this experience, and she said that I had died in childbirth in a past life.

    It is a mysterious and incredible process. It would be interesting for me to do it again, but I’m feeling a bit old for it now. A friend of mine echoed Carecare7’s story – that by her 3rd birth experience, her body knew exactly what to do… as Carecare7 says:”That time (4th baby) I felt my body and marvelled at the work it was doing, my body and I were one at last.”

  4. VIA EMAIL FROM KRISTIN LEE

    hi Eric

    i posted this but it awaits moderation…

    i gave birth to both my son and the biggest ( i mean, most encompassing) orgasm of my life 6 years ago. it was unlikely, as i had wanted a homebirth and decided to accommodate the various anxieties of those who were close to me at the time by going into a birth center with an OB and a midwife….but we initiated the birth with erotic activity (he had been hestitating) and he sped out. i remember the feeling that the cosmos was descending and squeezing itself through me, and with the release towards earth, out he came. i didn’t touch myself. a few times had to come back a little to gently lay fear aside and expand for the pain and the experience. my son is an extraordinarily connected, aware and kind being–his siblings, born under more medicalized conditions, struggle more than he seems to spiritually– and i often wonder what would happen were i to give birth again with even more conscious and careful preparation and joyful support.

  5. You know, I have had four kids (two as twins) all vaginal births and every time was different. I like the idea of orgasmic birth but I worry that women hearing this will now strive to have that (like so many strive to have “natural childbirth”) but some will fail and they will think their failure to be orgasmic during birth is their fault somehow. It is extremely important to realize that not everyone will have intense pain or intense orgasms and not everyone will benefit from the natural childbirth situation. Every birth is different and is VALID, no matter how it felt to the woman experiencing it. I believe we should move to healthier attitudes about birth and stop assuming all births must be medicated and in a hospital, but I also think it is equally important not to set up orgasmic births as the gold standard.

    Of the three births I had, the first (the twin birth) was a bit painful but very fast and thrilling; the excitement in that small town hospital over a woman giving vaginal birth to twins (as opposed to C section birth of twins) was amazingly uplifting. Because of the extreme size of my uterus, I could not feel the contractions (the size numbed me) so they had to tell me when to push…I didn’t feel my body and I didn’t feel in tandem with it. It was like having a party because of the surrounding excitement. I didn’t get to hold either daughter right away because I was at 37 weeks and the pediatrician had to check them to be sure they were ok. When I did hold them, it was the most emotional moment in my life thus far; my heart felt like it would burst. I had no drugs with that delivery. It was amazing.

    The second birth was induced because the baby was four days late and getting bigger by the minute. To avoid complications and a C section, we decided to induce labor. Bad idea if you intend to do it without pain meds. Pitocin is a bad-ass drug that makes labor extremely painful. That birth was the worst pain I have ever experienced in my life but once finished, my daughter was worth every long minute of it. It was amazing because at the most intense pain, my body was pushing her out without any work on my part. She literally popped out like a cork! As soon as she was out, the pain was gone! Unlike with the twins, the doctor laid her on my stomach as soon as she came out and I got to hold her right away. My heart felt like it would burst again. I had no drugs with that birth.

    The third birth I had was also induced 6 days early because of the size of the baby (at my request) and because I wanted to take no chances of going into labor when the partner doctor was on duty because HE kept insisting I would need a “fast C section” (his words) because of my obesity and age (I was 42). MY OB was extremely aware of my needs and my desire to have a healthy baby and healthy recovery so he didn’t insist on a C section because he knew I had given birth to three babies as an obese mother with no complications to any of the babies or to me. That one went way better because I had the anesthesiologist give me a light epidural, which means it took some of the pain away but not all of it because I could deal with a lot of pain but the pitocin induction would make it too intense. I didn’t want to drug up my baby but I also didn’t want to be ineffective at pushing because I was older and I got tired faster. That birth experience was warm, only a little painful, and very amazing because the pain was low enough that I could FEEL the intense contractions, FEEL when to push and FEEL him coming out of me as I breathed in perfect cadence with my body’s needs. That time I felt my body and marvelled at the work it was doing, my body and I were one at last. I could assist myself so much better because of being in touch with it. It was so powerful to be able to actively bring my child into the world, to be able to feel the whole thing, to push when it felt right to push, to breathe him into life. The doctor laid him on my belly as soon as he came out and my heart felt like it would burst yet again.

    All of these births are valid and all were life changing experiences for me. I really do love all four of my children equally; they all were very much wanted. I didn’t have “natural childbirth” or birth at home, or orgasmic birth, but the experiences are vivid happy moments in my mind and heart despite the lack of those.

  6. i gave birth to both my son and the biggest ( i mean, most encompassing) orgasm of my life 6 years ago. it was unlikely, as i had wanted a homebirth and decided to accommodate the various anxieties of those who were close to me at the time by going into a birth center with an OB and a midwife….but we initiated the birth with erotic activity (he had been hestitating) and he sped out. i remember the feeling that the cosmos was descending and squeezing itself through me, and with the release towards earth, out he came. i didn’t touch myself. a few times had to come back a little to gently lay fear aside and expand for the pain and the experience. my son is an extraordinarily connected, aware and kind being–his siblings, born under more medicalized conditions, struggle more than he seems to spiritually– and i often wonder what would happen were i to give birth again with even more conscious and careful preparation and joyful support.

  7. I think that any and all experiences of childbirth are valid. They are all part of the human experience; and what are we here for if not that? When any aspect of life becomes unacceptable, what is it about who we believe that we are that is equally unacceptable?

  8. Although I was shortchanged in my birthing experiences with C-sections, one of my very dear friends confided to me that she and her husband made love multiple times during her labor ( avoiding getting caught by the labor and delivery staff!) Now,not only do I find that erotic, as a nurse I thoght how much that must of helped progress the birthing process as the uterus contracts in orgasm much like in labor. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy! I can’t help but think of the diagnosis I was given of “failure to progress” and wonder if it would have been different if I was aware of this concept.
    orgasm concept. Makes perfect sense!!

  9. I’ve no particular interest in your baby, that is interest alone. Things that make me wanna give help are the fact that YOU gave birth, and that i want kiddos all around me, I dig babes, As long as they go home.
    There’s some honesty for your ass. This shit belongs not too me, but too the development that is your being, you’ve got too accept your being, and the babes that you create!

    I’ve read Ina May Gaskins “spiritual midwiferey”, and “polly’s birth book”, This is the shit.

    We can give birth with smiles, or…

  10. Oh, Frannyfan, I’m so freakin’ sorry. You’ve been through shit. It shouldn’t have worked that way. If I was there, I would have been there for you.. But I wasn’t.. No fuckin’ shit I don’t have a Pussy (I said that), but that’s no regards to dismiss me.. I’m valuable in the capacity that I can HELP! I want to help. I want too be there when the kiddo comes out, as well as when they’re in the Uterus! It’s important that All folks engaged in the process of childbirthing, pay attention, and do what they can for all the folks involved in the process of childbirthing, that this be an experience worthy of our humbled freaking words!

    Come on Frannyfan, you’ve got more, throw it out, we’ll take it! Ditch your crap on me. I’m here too play. I can take your pain and more… Get rid of it, tear me apart if you need. I’ve no issues there. I’m a dude, destroy me if that helps you. (Just remember, we’re all equal in the end)

    Love ya, Peace & shit!

    Jere

  11. Nance, bad-ass! My little girl was 7.2 lbs. An Aquarian, born too a Sag, and Cap.. This girl’s freakin hot! I raised her for 6 1/2 years. She’s still around, at 10, but I’ve been lost for the last 4 years.. (not fun, but life). (I don’t fight with her mom, anybody else, would be dead by now) (But, my girl, after being raised hippy/vegan deserves a break, and some insight into how “other people operate”.) I Just hope she can see the mis-manifestations that are imprinted upon our realities, and she comes back too hang with my hippy ass in the end. I So look forward too kickin’ it with the girl! We’ll have a hella good time within the cosmic show which is life… Just trippin’ and having a good time!

    Love All.

    Jere

  12. Jlo says “The pussy is made to do this shit! I think the fear makes people rigid, as opposed to opening up, ’cause it seems/looks pretty kickass too me.”

    Right on! My body did not tear open (baby was 7.5 lbs). I needed no stitches. I’ve been doing yoga for years and the pushing part was just like yoga – breathe, relax, push into the intensity, relax, breathe some more. I chanted ‘OM’ throughout the whole birth (from wikipedia: As the creation began, the divine, all-encompassing consciousness took the form of the first and original vibration manifesting as sound “OM”).

    My favorite book re: childbirth is called ‘Birthing From Within’.

  13. I had a doula, a midwife, and an MD assist the birth of my daughter. My husband, the doula, and the midwife were the most helpful to me.

    While the experience of childbirth was physically intense, there was also an otherworldly, spiritual-meets-primal energy to it that went to a place of ecstasy for me. Different than orgasmic. Powerful in a way that is difficult to describe – an intense channeling of energy that included a physical aspect. I think one of the best things about it was having an incredibly intense physical experience, and then being handed an infant. I could hardly believe that she came out of me! It was the most rewarding experience of my life. I have done intense physical activities – mountain climbing, backcountry skiing, whitewater canoeing… I’ve had a 2-month ordeal with a tooth that was intensely painful. None of those experiences come close to the miracle of childbirth.

    The denial of a woman’s power in pregnancy and childbirth runs deep in our culture. The idea that we need to go to a hospital to birth a child is one aspect of this denial. Hospitals are for sick people, and sick people are there. Why bring a highly sensitive infant into a hospital? And then have one of their first experiences be riding in a car seat? We stayed home for over a week before we got into a car.

    There is an amazing video called ‘Birth Into Being – a Russian Waterbirth Experience’. It has phenomenal, powerful footage of women in total, joyful surrender to the birth experience.

    I think the Ball/ Arnaz experience speaks volumes about our cultural attitudes toward pregnancy and childbirth. We’ve come a long way, but there’s still so much power and choice that the average woman doesn’t even hear about. So much pressure to dull the pain, sanitize the experience, move away from the fact that we are apes; an animal, doing one of the most natural, powerful things an animal can do.

  14. Frannyfan, how can you say that? I know, I’m a dude, but I was with my gal for 3 days of labor, and about 10 minutes of birthing!? After the catheter, all they had too say was “let’s get the forceps”, and my daughter came out like a rubber doll (still so trippy in my minds eye). We dilated her with black cohosh (if I remember correctly). No pain, ever, with this gal. Of course, she is the gal with scalpel artwork (drawn by me, carved by her husband) on one leg, and a branding (galvanized steel I bent into a flower petal, and applied 7 times over by her husband, right off the stove).

    The pussy is made to do this shit! I think the fear makes people rigid, as opposed to opening up, ’cause it seems/looks pretty kickass too me. I would love to have a pussy and experience childbirth!

    I think it’s a false power (as opposed to the real blessing that it is) that women hold over men, where they falsely try to dominate, although dudes should be Right There! To nurture the whole beautiful event that it is!

    It’s time the field were evened out, no mystique, no separation, just all parties gathered around a beautiful event too witness the gorgeousness of birthing life!

    Come on now, tell me I’m wrong on this shit! Drop it how you see it, we’ll all chat on this one.

    Jere

  15. This is from the Wiki page of Desi Arnaz, who has now become one of my Pisces role models. I just happened upon this because Dominick Vanacore (of Dominick’s Cafe) is a HUGE fan of Lucille, he asked me if I had done their charts together, and I went a Wiki’in’. This story tells you how freaked out TV execs were even about pregnancy. I read this kind of thing and wonder, what the fuck is with these people? Forget what they are thinking…what are they feeling? I guess the big to-do is that pregnancy implies that the woman had sex. Exactly! As in, yum.

    Arnaz also pushed the network to allow them to show Lucille Ball while she was pregnant. According to Arnaz, the CBS network told him, “You cannot show a pregnant woman on television.” Arnaz consulted a priest, a rabbi, and a minister, all of whom told him that there would be nothing wrong with showing a pregnant Lucy or with using the word pregnant. The network finally relented and let Arnaz and Ball weave the pregnancy into the story line, but remained adamant about eschewing use of pregnant, so Arnaz substituted expecting, pronouncing it ‘spectin’ in his Cuban accent. Oddly, the official title of the episode announcing the pregnancy was “Lucy Is Enceinte,” employing the French word for pregnant, although the episode titles never appeared on the show itself.

  16. This is bad-ass. Cool as shit, good stuff. I tried the midwifery sheisse, fucked up pretty bad. my daughter needed the strong intra-flow of magnetic energies, that could have yin’d her ass, Instead she got UCD, and all the baggage that pertains. For 3 days we waited, and held to our personal, home birthing styles, but in the end, I had idea her bladder was representative, and my cohort in the birthing aspect, knew how too do the shit, but We fucked up, and allowed this gal too go through hell! We fucked up man, because we knew better. Yet had no focal points, function that would allow us with this function..

    Childbirth can be a blessing, or a lesson for those who need too see it as a devine/kick-ass thing, that can be nurtured by those around!

    Good call on the orgasm.. (It’s really not that “bad” if folks accept and dig it.)

    Love Ya, All,

    Jere

  17. “Now let’s go to a best case scenario, where many people are born through orgasmic birth. What kind of world would that be?” — Eric

    Haha!-laughing with joy loud and clear — THAT World gets a triple “Whoo-Hoo!” ;-))))))

    Hey, I get Happy, what can I say?
    Love,
    Linda

  18. Yes, yes, yes and YES!

    I had a homebirth at age 40 using a birth pool (first baby). I didn’t have an orgasm, but I was able to stay in touch with my animal nature and birth my daughter in a safe, nurturing and loving environment. I did experience intense sensation, but overall the experience was joyful, relaxing and miraculous. The birth pool was key to helping me relax and open up and birth without injury.

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